Work Text:
It was a Saturday.
A usual one.
The sound in the gym gradually quieted as everyone started to pack their stuff and started leaving.
Semi was about to leave as well, along with Yamagata until he noticed his boyfriend.
Shirabu looked more tired recently. He looked somewhat worse these days— not in a negative way. It was just that he looked more exhausted and stressed.
“Eita?”
Semi turned his head towards where Yamagata called him. He almost forgot about his best friend while thinking about his boyfriend. He was about to walk towards Yamagata but something in him made him take one last glance at Shirabu.
He could’ve just left for now and asked him through text later. Knowing his emotionally constipated boyfriend, asking him if he’s okay right here didn’t sound like a good option to him either. However, leaving him alone like this made him feel like a bad boyfriend. He didn’t know if Shirabu really llneeded someone to talk to him, he didn’t know if he would make it worse for him; but his boyfriend's instincts were saying otherwise. He had this random urge to just go up to his boyfriend and do something.
So, that’s what he did.
“Sorry, go without me,” he said to Yamagata before walking away to the corner where Shirabu was about to carry his bag over his shoulder.
“Shirabu.”
Shirabu was adjusting the strap of his bag but slowly looked up at Semi.
Now that Shirabu looked at him properly, Semi realized how Shirabu looked too composed to be actually not stressed and his face didn’t deny the tiredness around his eyes. Normally, Semi would make a joke about Shirabu not sleeping properly but this didn’t really look like the time for his jokes.
His boyfriend looked genuinely done with his life— it wasn’t obvious but he could tell.
His eyes were softened as he looked at him.
“Are you busy?”
Shirabu shrugged his shoulders and looked away.
“Not really.”
“Great.”
Without any further words, Semi grabbed Shirabu’s wrist and started to walk out the gym.
Shirabu’s nonchalant attitude and expression completely crumpled into a confused and puzzled look.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere.”
Shirabu frowned.
“That’s not helpful.”
Semi took a sudden pause in his steps. Then, he turned his head and looked at Shirabu.
“You trust me?”
Shirabu was about to answer immediately but he noticed how sincere and determined Semi looked. He didn’t know what the determination was for but it seemed valid and serious. He opened his mouth but closed right after.
His answer was just a small nod, a nod Semi almost missed.
But Semi was already used to his boyfriend’s small nods and shakes, sometimes they were the only answers he needed. So he gave a small, warm smile and tightened his grip on Shirabu’s wrist and murmured,
“Good.”
He didn’t waste any time and continued their journey to god knows where.
________________________________________________________
“Why are we at a train station?”
“Because,” Semi replied as he looked around to find the right train line.
“That’s not–”
Semi cut him off immediately with a hand over his mouth.
“Shh. Let’s go,” He said as he started leading him to the train line.
Shirabu gave an unimpressed look but he let himself be dragged anyway.
“At least tell me why you’re carrying my bag.”
“It looked heavy.”
“But I never said it was.”
“Never said you did.”
A small pause
Then—
“Thank you.”
Those words came out so quiet, Semi could barely catch it. Luckily, he did. His lips twitched as he replied.
“Anytime.”
He didn’t tease.
He didn’t mock him.
Instead,
He accepted it,
Because he would do anything to hear those subdued words again.
“The doors are closing. Please be careful.”
Semi and Shirabu both paused and looked at each other.
They were late for the train.
Semi tightened his fingers around Shirabu’s wrist and ran faster.
Shirabu didn’t stop him and he let himself be dragged again.
To their luck, they got on before the train left but,
To their unluck, the train was crowded and they were practically squished against each other; Semi was pressed against the opposite door and Shirabu was pressed against Semi’s chest, face to face.
Semi looked down at the younger and smiled softly.
Shirabu looked up and he looked away immediately after seeing the smile, but that didn’t hide the fact his lips twitched.
That made Semi grin wider.
Then suddenly, the train shook.
Shirabu stumbled and was about to fall but Semi’s arm snaked around his waist before an accident could occur.
“You okay?”
Shirabu looked up and he nodded his head.
“Sorry.”
Semi shook his head and moved a strand of stray hair out of Shirabu’s face and tucked it behind his ear.
“You don’t gotta apologize for that, dumbass.”
Shirabu gave an eye roll and looked away again.
He didn’t ask where they were going anymore.
He just waited to see where they were headed to.
___________________________________
Shirabu was confused at first when they got off.
This was a place he’s never been at, or at least he doesn’t remember being there.
He was about to ask something but he closed his mouth again when he saw Semi’s look.
It didn’t seem like he was being kidnapped or taken somewhere stupid.
So, he let fate lead the way.
___________________________________
Shirabu really felt like they were walking for hours by now, and maybe they were. His legs started to hurt and he was starting to get annoyed too. Where was his boyfriend taking him?
The reason his curiosity grew even more as each second passed was because Semi told him to cover his eyes as soon as they got out of the station.
And for some reason, he listened without any protests.
“We’re here,” Semi finally stopped walking and spoke up.
Shirabu finally opened his eyes and lifted his head up to see where they were.
His eyes widened.
They were standing at a scene that felt too unreal. The sea in front of his eyes was blue and sparkling, almost like those seas in the animated videos with no one around, just them and the quiet sounds of the waterwaves and the wind hitting against the sand.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Semi spoke again, causing Shirabu to snap out of his thoughts.
Shirabu looked at Semi for a moment from the corner of his eyes before looking back at the sea again and nodded.
“It is.”
The corner of Semi’s lips went up as he smiled at the response.
“My dad proposed to my mom here.” He took a small pause before continuing, “And my mom told me to bring someone I love here one day.”
He squeezed Shirabu’s hand into his tighter before confessing his love all over again.
“I love you.”
Though this time, it didn’t sound as if he was letting him know.
It was a reminder.
It was a reassurance that said,
Yes, you’re the only one I love.
The first person I brought here.
The words settled something restless inside Shirabu.
For the first time in a while, he felt at peace.
Not because the stress and tension from before completely disappeared.
It was because he got the kind of reassurance he didn’t realize he needed.
Without thinking, he let his head fall against his shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the air and the moment between them.
Semi froze by the sudden action because Shirabu wasn’t exactly the person to be clingy at first— especially not in public.
He smiled warmly anyways and let his head rest on top of his.
“You’re still telling me what’s bothering you, later.”
Shirabu looked up without moving his head.
“Is that why you brought me here?”
Semi looked down.
“Partly.”
Shirabu rolled his eyes and looked at the sea again.
“Idiot.”
Semi shot an unimpressed look but didn’t say anything further.
Then suddenly, an idea popped in his mind.
He lifted his head first, and Shirabu followed soon after, their closeness lingering even as they straightened.
Semi looked at Shirabu with a look that definitely didn’t hide the fact he was thinking something stupid.
Shirabu narrowed his eyes.
“What are you thinking?”
“Glad you asked,” Semi started with a grin, “How about this? You run and if I catch you in 3 minutes, you need to tell me what’s on your mind.”
Shirabu looked at Semi as if he just said the dumbest thing in the world.
That was probably one of the worst ideas Semi had ever given him,
But despite that—
“Deal.”
Semi’s grin grew wider. He knew he could flare the competitive side of his boyfriend.
He flicked a strand of Shirabu’s stray hair.
“Prepare to lose. You get five seconds headstart.”
Shirabu glared at Semi and swatted his hand away from his hair.
“Prepare to get proved wrong,”
He replied flatly.
Semi smiled wider if that was even possible now. He adored how fired up his boyfriend got over the smallest things.
“Fine. Go.”
Shirabu gave a look at Semi before turning on his heels.
Semi kept the smile on his face and started counting
“1”
Shirabu took his jacket off and wrapped it around his own waist.
“2”
He ran.
“3”
He was already half way gone.
“4”
Semi got into his position.
“5”
He wasted no time and dashed.
Shirabu wasn’t exactly a slow runner. He was faster than he looked and Semi absolutely didn’t doubt that.
Though he kept up. He didn’t doubt Shirabu’s speed but he wasn’t losing his confidence either.
In a few seconds he was already half way to catching up to the other.
But, Shirabu was still far ahead, enough to not be caught yet.
2 minutes and 40 seconds left.
It was enough time for him to grab hold of him.
Shirabu could tell that Semi was slowly catching up to him
Just like his boyfriend, he didn't give up either.
He kept the same pace and continued running.
To other people, they would probably look like two crazy highschoolers running along the seashore.
However to them,
They were just stupid teenagers in love and running for the dumbest thing ever.
At that moment, nothing else mattered to them.
Semi would choose this moment over everything else, every single time.
And Shirabu would never replace this moment even for a million heartbeats.
Nothing could ever be worth losing this moment.
___________________________________
In a minute or so, Semi was only 5 feet away from Shirabu.
Unfortunately for Shirabu, he started to get more tired and low on stamina.
Semi took the chance.
He caught him by the waist from behind before he could get any farther.
“Gotcha!”
Shirabu bent over and rested his hand on top of the arm around him.
His breaths came in uneven gasps as he tried to catch his breath.
Semi was no different either, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
They stayed in that position for quite a while until Semi decided to dramatically collapse into a sitting position, still holding Shirabu and pulling him along.
He pressed his face into his neck affectionately and nuzzled his nose into the damp skin. His lips lingered against the skin, slow and deliberate as if he had all the time in the world.
“Stop doing that, it’s unhygienic,” Shirabu complained as he tried to move his neck away.
Semi didn’t care, he continued anyway.
“Don’t care. I love everything about you. Even your sweats,” he punctuated the last part with a loud kiss on the same spot of the other’s neck.
Shirabu would’ve found that weird, more like he should’ve.
Instead, it made him let out a laugh.
“Oh my gosh,” he said between laughs, “That’s probably the most disgusting and corniest thing you’ve ever told me.”
Semi smiled against Shirabu’s skin and pulled back just enough to see his face.
He loved seeing Shirabu laughing.
He loved it even more when he was the reason for that sound he could listen to forever.
Shirabu realized that Semi was staring at him. His laugh quickly faded into confusion. He narrowed his eyes as he looked back at Semi.
“What?”
Semi kept staring for a good second before diving back to nuzzling against the younger’s neck.
“You’re cute.”
Shirabu blinked.
Then, his cheeks slowly turned red.
“You’re weird.”
“You’re still cute.”
“Weirdo.”
There was a pause before Shirabu finally became conscious about their surroundings.
“You know people will think we’re weird…”
“They’ll probably think we’re just two friends messing around,” Semi replied back as he slowly lifted his head up again.
He still kept his arms around Shirabu’s waist and held him down on his lap.
“But we’re high schoolers.”
Semi gave a deadpan look.
“Haven’t you seen the people in my class? They’re always all over each other.”
That made Shirabu laugh for no reason.
And Semi stared at him affectionately as he heard his most favorite sound in the world.
Right as they were having their own moment, a wave of water hit against their legs.
That got their attention to move towards the sea.
Shirabu stared between the sea and the sky.
The sea was reflecting the colors of the sky which made the view prettier than ever.
“...It’s pretty,” Shirabu blurted out as he continued admiring the scenery in front of his eyes.
Semi’s gaze immediately drifted towards Shirabu’s face.
His gaze lingered on him for more seconds than necessary before he smiled and replied back.
“It is.”
But he wasn’t talking about the sea.
He was talking about something else— or rather someone else.
_______________________________________
“You didn’t tell me what’s bothering you, yet.”
Semi finally spoke as he broke the silence.
They both got distracted by the sea— or rather, Shirabu got distracted by the sea and Semi on the other hand, got distracted by the boy on his lap.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Shirabu replied too fast and simply.
Semi gave him an unimpressed look.
He didn’t totally buy it.
“And the sky’s green.”
Shirabu looked at the sky for a moment before turning his head enough to look at Semi.
“I mean it could be. It’s scientifically possible,” Shirabu replied. “Usually during thunderstorms.”
“You sound like a textbook.”
“You asked.”
“I fully regret it.”
“Good for you.”
With that, Shirabu turned his head away again.
Semi rolled his eyes and pulled Shirabu closer against his chest.
“Come on, tell me.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“Never.”
“You’re unfair.”
That got Shirabu to turn his head towards Semi again.
“Unfair, how?”
Semi leaned closer and rested his cheek on Shirabu’s shoulder.
“Because,” He started, “You agreed that if I catch you in under three minutes, you will tell me. And you broke it.”
Shirabu protested immediately.
“It wasn’t under three minutes.”
Semi gasped and lifted his head up.
“Yes it was!” He looked offended, “Baby, you can’t break the rules.”
Shirabu snorted and responded back.
“I didn’t.”
“Now you’re lying.”
Shirabu rolled his eyes.
“Still not telling.”
Semi held his offended look until a mischievous idea popped in his mind.
“Fine then, I’ll make you.”
Before Shirabu could reply back, Semi started tickling him while keeping him trapped on his lap.
Shirabu squirmed and tried to stop Semi’s hands.
“Fine, I’ll tell you!”
Semi smirked and stilled his hands immediately.
“That’s what I thought.”
Shirabu pouted.
“Shut up.”
Semi tapped at Shirabu’s bottom lip without thinking.
“Now tell me. What’s bothering my pretty setter?”
Shirabu froze.
The words hit him harder than they should have.
Pretty.
Heat crawled up the back of his neck almost instantly, and he slapped Semi’s hand away with far less force than he intended.
Semi grinned wider and tightened his arms around him.
“Come on, tell me.”
Shirabu hesitated before sighing. He leaned back against Semi’s chest, with his head on his shoulder.
“I don’t know. I’m tired.”
The words came out too soft and quiet, and honest for sure.
Semi’s smile immediately faded away as feelings of concern and worry washed over him. He didn’t know what to say for a second.
Tired could mean two different things;
Tired as in sleepy,
And tired as in someone who wants to give up.
Semi didn’t like the second option, but he stayed composed and brushed his fingers through Shirabu’s hair.
“Of?”
Shirabu glanced up for a moment before looking at the waterbody again.”
“...Everything.”
Semi’s fingers stilled for a moment.
No answer came up in his mind.
Shirabu immediately noticed it and looked up again.
He narrowed his eyes and stated his observation,
“You’re overthinking it.”
Semi let out a huff of laughter that had no humor in it.
“My boyfriend just told me he’s tired of everything. What am I supposed to think?”
Shirabu looked away and shrugged his shoulders.
He looked up to meet Semi’s eyes again like he needed to confirm something.
“I’m not tired of you though.”
Shirabu said the words too casually that Semi needed time to actually process it.
Semi’s eyes softened too much. He took hold of Shirabu’s hand and slowly intertwined their fingers, squeezing hard.
“I know.”
Shirabu gave a tiny smile. The smile was so small that Semi almost missed it.
But he didn't.
Semi stayed quiet for a moment before speaking carefully,
“Do you want me to say something smart right now?”
Shirabu blinked and glanced at him, “Do you even know something smart to say?”
“Not even a little,” Semi admitted.
A breathy laugh escaped Shirabu before he could stop it, tired and rough around the edges.
Semi smiled faintly at the sound and rubbed circles against the back of his hand.
“But I can sit here with you,” he said, “Until everything feels a little less heavy. Or however long you want.”
Shirabu looked at him for a long second, then leaned closer without saying a word.
The silence lingered long enough for one of them to break it.
“You know you can talk if you want,” Semi spoke up as he rubbed his thumb against the knuckles of Shirabu’s hand.
Shirabu looked up with a puzzled look.
He wasn’t confused because of what Semi meant.
He was confused because how did Semi know?
Semi smiled a little and brushed his fingers against the uneven bangs.
“It’s obvious whenever you think too hard and you want to say something but you don't know if you can.”
Shirabu was pretty impressed by how much Semi could read through him but he didn’t say a word on it.
He lowered his gaze again, watching the ripples move across the dark water. His lips parted slightly like he wanted to speak, but nothing came out.
After a long silence, Shirabu finally muttered,
“I don’t know how to explain it without sounding pathetic.”
Semi’s brows pulled together immediately.
“You could never sound pathetic to me.”
That earned him a quiet look from Shirabu.
Doubtful.
Tired.
And a little too vulnerable.
Shirabu looked away again. He stared off at the distance again, trying to come up with the right words.
Semi stayed patient. He’d give him as much time as he needed.
If time was what Shirabu needed, Semi would hand him every second without hesitation.
Shirabu finally opened his mouth again.
This time, he actually had words.
“I feel useless.”
Semi had to take a few seconds to process those words.
He’d expect a lot of things from his seemingly cocky and sassy boyfriend.
Not those words though.
Never those words.
Semi looked down at him.
“How?”
Shirabu looked offended by the question. He looked up, narrowing his eyes.
“What do you mean? You think I can’t feel useless?”
Semi immediately shook his head. He didn’t mean it that way— he kind of did but not exactly that way.
“I meant.. Why!” He defended himself quickly.
Shirabu didn’t push it further and looked at the sea again.
“I just feel like I’m not doing enough,” he admitted. “No matter what I do, there’s always someone better than me.”
Those words hit Semi like a truck.
He knew the feeling.
And, seeing his own lover suffer from those feelings made his chest tighten.
“But you’re already good enough.”
“Good enough to be an academic achiever.”
Semi opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.
He was struggling to find the right words which was strange because he almost had a reply for everything.
Except this time.
He looked away for a moment, jaw tightening as the waves crashed softly against the shore.
What was he even supposed to say to that? It wasn’t even a lie that almost everyone thought about Shirabu in that way.
But he doesn’t see it that way.
His Kenjiro was way more than an academic weapon to him.
He looked down again.
“Kenjiro.”
Shirabu looked up slowly with those tired eyes.
“Eita.”
Semi would’ve rolled his eyes at that normally.
This time, he gently brushed his thumb across Shirabu’s cheekbone instead.
“You’re perfect.”
Shirabu froze and blinked.
“You’re biased.”
“My words are facts and sincere.”
Shirabu rolled his eyes.
“Still biased.”
“Say what you want, love,” Semi said as he tightened his arms around Shirabu. “It doesn’t change what I said.”
Shirabu opened his mouth to retort but closed it almost immediately. He let out a dramatic sigh and leaned back against Semi’s chest, almost as if he accepted defeat.
“You know, sometimes I really think you're like magic.”
Semi blinked.
“Magic?”
“Yeah,” Shirabu nodded his head. “You always heal me before I break.”
That got a stupid smile on Semi’s face.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“That’s probably the stupidest thing you’ve said about me.”
Despite what he said, he was proud to hear what Shirabu thought of him.
“Suits you because you’re stupid.”
Semi looked down with an offended glare.
“Really?” He started, “After saying I’m like magic, you say I’m stupid?”
“Biological fact.”
“How is that a biological fact?”
“Being stupid is part of your brain and your brain is part of your biology.”
Shirabu looked up with a hint of smugness in his eyes.
Semi pinched his side.
“How about you pause for a second and be nice to me.”
Shirabu swatted the hand away.
“Never.”
Semi was really lost between wanting to strangle this little menace or kiss him until he finally shut his mouth.
“Fine. I’ll still keep on loving you even if you’re a little mean,” He punctuated those words with a little kiss on top of Shirabu’s head.
“Because you’re still cute while insulting me.”
That made Semi earn Shirabu’s elbow hitting his stomach.
He made a dramatic ‘ow’ sound and clutched his chest.
“How mean. I’m here calling him perfect and he’s elbowing my precious abs.”
Shirabu almost laughed at that but he kept himself composed.
“What abs?”
“You wanna see?” Semi teased.
“I’ll put that offer down,” Shirabu answered flatly.
Semi grinned and squeezed Shirabu with his chest.
“Awwh, why?”
“Because that’s not necessary.”
“Nothing is ever necessary to you.”
“That’s because you keep on talking nonsense all the time.”
“You know, I’m still your senior right.”
“Did you ever see me respect any seniors?”
Semi looked away for a moment because now that thinks of it, he never saw Shirabu respect any of his seniors except Ushijima; but if he was honest, he’s seen Shirabu judge Ushijima too sometimes.
“...no.”
“Exactly.”
Semi let out an offended huff.
He was patient with Shirabu, most of the time.
Though sometimes, he really wanted to shut him up or take that whatever-look off his face; and sometimes was today, this second. He tightened one arm around his waist and squeezed his jaw with the other hand.
“I really want to kill you sometimes.”
Shirabu squirmed and tried to get out of Semi’s grip.
“This is sexual harassment!”
Semi’s eyes twitched.
“Misinformation!”
Despite all that bantering, Semi was glad to be able to take some weight off Shirabu’s shoulders because sometimes, all he wants to do is make this boy smile and laugh for the rest of life.
Semi loosened his grip around Shirabu and looked at him sincerely.
“By the way, I did mean what I said.”
Shirabu blinked and tilted his head.
“Huh?”
Semi smiled softer and warmer at the little confusion. Shirabu looked just like a confused baby bunny.
“I’m talking about when I called you perfect,” he reminded him. “You’re not just someone who’s good at studies for me, Kenji.”
He pulled Shirabu even closer against his chest if that was even possible anymore.
“You’re the strongest and bravest person I’ve ever met. I love you on and off court and when you’re studying hard and even when you act like you’re not doing your best and you don’t care.”
Then, he spoke the next words as if it was a universal fact.
“...because I know you actually care.”
He paused and grabbed Shirabu’s chin to tilt his head upwards. He smiled even softer and locked eyes with him.
“And I love every side of you whether it’s the side I see everyday or the side that rarely comes out.”
Shirabu was completely frozen as if time had actually stopped. Everything else around him moved normally, the wind, the seashores and even the sand.
Except him.
He blinked again to check if he wasn’t actually dreaming.
He wasn’t.
He looked away and shifted to bury his face into Semi’s chest, one hand curling on the shirt.
“You can’t just say that.”
Semi’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment when he realized Shirabu was leaning more into the touch instead of moving away. He let out a small huff at the complaint. He tightened his arms around him again and tucked him against his chest.
“Well guess what, baby. I’m not done.”
He gently cradled the back of Shirabu’s head.
“It’s okay if you feel broken sometimes. I’ll hold you till you feel good again and if you don’t?”
He held Shirabu’s chin and tilted his head up so their eyes could meet.
“I’ll hold your broken pieces and love you anyways.”
Shirabu stared long because he never felt this loved and important before.
“What if I don’t love myself?”
Semi paused for a moment, not because he didn’t have an answer.
It was too rare for Shirabu to look this vulnerable.
He pressed their foreheads together.
“Then I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”
Shirabu felt his eyes start to sting. He never felt this loved before and believing this was real felt impossible.
“Weirdo.”
Semi smiled and let go of Shirabu’s chin as he flicked his forehead.
“There he is.”
Shirabu huffed out a small laugh and buried his face back into Semi’s chest.
_______________________________________
That moment, Semi realized that love isn’t just a feeling about liking someone and wanting to hold hands with them.
Love meant caring deeply enough to take responsibility, even when it was difficult.
Shirabu also realized one thing.
He wasn’t alone and he had someone to hold him.
________________________________________________________