Chapter Text
A long day and evening of networking would’ve ideally ended with esteemed salesman Spamton G Spamton crashing into bed, waiting for his nightly call. For him, a good 12-13 hours of talking with Darkners ending with just being talked at for a bit was all he needed to mark a day as “nice”.
Today was not shaping up to be one of those nice days.
“Oh, but we have SO much more to discuss, Spammy! Let’s take it to my office, how’s about it?”
Spamton didn’t outright dislike Tenna. He was just.. a lot to handle. And very clingy. Very affectionate... Not quite Spamton’s speed. Spamton was more of a one-and-done guy when it came to romance, and especially when it came to his sex life. Tenna, evidently, was not.
“Look, Tenns, I had a loooot goin’ on today, I’m not really feelin’ too hot...”
“Well, then.. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, I swear it! Come on, come on, we’re right here...”
Spamton nearly audibly gulped as he was pulled into the TV’s personal office, his smile wobbling just a hair as Tenna closed the door behind the two.
He almost felt.. guilty, of all things. What the hell was he getting so antsy about?? He should be reveling in this, Tenna was bringing in SO much cash! SO much recognition! And his nightly caller was telling Spamton that he was doing the right thing, so.. what was so wrong about it?
Spamton was broken out of his thoughts as he was pushed by two giant gloved hands towards the couch, before Tenna sat himself down with a huff and a whirr from the mechanics of his head.
“Wasn’t today just.. PEACHY, Spammy? And now I get to spend the rest’a my evening with such a great FRIEND like you! Isn’t that right??”
He almost felt bad for the guy. Tenna tried so very hard to vie for Spamton’s attention, it was honestly really annoying. But, Spamton would always play along, act out his part. Can’t leave the big guy hanging, that just wasn’t good business.
“Well.. I’d have to say so too, Tenns. Can’t imagine it any different.” He tried to keep his smile as natural as it usually was, which wasn’t very natural at all in reality. But, it seemed to fool Tenna, as the TV’s large antenna twisted up a few times as his smile grew wider.
“That’s the spirit, Spamton! C’mere, c’mere, let’s talk a little more!...”
Another gulp. God, he knew where this was going... Spamton, ever the businessman, decided in the instant that he wasn’t quite ready for the cathode’s barrage of affections tonight.
“I-In a second, just.. lemme take a breather on the balcony first, yeah? Long day, y’know how it is...“
Tenna hummed in response, his smile falling none. If anything, it got a bit.. tighter. He was obviously used to hearing this kind of thing, the avoidance of the inevitable from Spamton. Another twang of guilt tugged at Spamton’s chest as he quickly shuffled to open the sliding door of the office balcony, before he quickly stamped it away. There wasn’t room to feel bad. This was business, after all. And Spamton was all about that, damnit.
Tenna’s office was situated on the top floor of the whole complex, which gave the wrap-around balcony a real nice view of the surrounding area. At least, it would be nice if it weren’t so horribly understimulating. Outside of the studio, TV World was just docks above black waters, with the occasional island of snow. It was freezing, but tonight Spamton needed the cold to clear his head.
He turned his head just for a second or two to close the door behind himself so as to not let that cold air in, the Addison reaching for his cigarettes and lighter in his back pocket at the same time.
When he turned his head back to the railing, he was met with a sight he wouldn’t have expected in a million years.
“Y-YOU?!?”
Spamton quickly clasped his mouth with the hand that was free of his cigarette pack, as the jester that was sat on the railing giggled, kicking his large-shoed feet.
“Wasn’t expecting my familiar face, now, were we?”
“Wh-What the hell- I- g-get over here!”
Jevil. How he got up here, Spamton had no clue. Surely his levitation couldn’t have been that powerful to get him nearly 5 floors up? In any case, he was here, and Spamton HAD to make sure Tenna didn’t notice.
The salesman grabbed Jevil by his mittened hand, dragging the jester using nearly all his strength to the other side of the balcony, facing the east and out of the way of the glass door.
“What the hell’re you doing here?? How? Why?” Spamton huffed as he came to a stop, quickly letting go of the jester and fumbling in his back pocket again for his lighter.
Jevil simply smiled wider, now showing off his shiny golden teeth as he hopped back up onto the railing, balancing himself on his stomach. He looked like a terrifying Cheshire cat like this to Spamton.
“Oh, how fun! The salesmaster seems caught off his guard! Pray tell, was one not expecting an arrival of the joker card?
“Goddamnit, no, I-I wasn’t, not really... I-I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’.
Jevil cocked his head to an unnatural angle at that, causing Spamton to visibly grimace as he finally seemed to find his lighter and quickly lit up a cigarette.
Jevil was.. in an interesting place in Spamton’s life. Sure, the two knew each other, but Spamton just couldn’t quite figure out exactly what Jevil was to him besides weird.
The two had known each other for quite a while, around right when Spamton first started getting calls from his mysterious benefactor. The jester seemed to always gaze right through Spamton, constantly calling him out on all sorts of bluffs whenever he was around. Though, Spamton could never quite say that times with him were negative interactions. For whatever reason, Spamton found his chest loosening as soon as he saw the jester. A fact that the salesman loathed.
“What.. what’s the deal this time, huh? I’m ‘bout to bag, pal.”
Jevil’s smile turned to a smirk, and Spamton faltered on his drag of the cigarette.
“Is that so? Why do you tremble and quake, though? Something tells me that you are less than excited for the outcome.”
See, saw right through Spamton. The Addison’s smile finally broke then, and he let out a puff of smoke as he sighed, slicking his hair back before leaning up against the rail beside the jester.
“God damn it, how d’you always know... Yeah, I’m not.. ecstatic ‘bout being around that hunk’a machinery. Why the hell would I? Just more talkin’, more ego-stroking... I see through it, y’know.”
The clown’s smile softened as Spamton opened up. At this point, there was no point in the salesman clamming up any around this guy, because he would just embarrass him by calling it out himself instead.
“You act as though these charades are not two-sided, salesman.”
Spamton nearly choked on his next inhale of smoke, leaving him to a coughing fit for a few seconds.
“I-I- What? I-I mean.. yeah, no duh. That’s how business works, pal. Honesty gets’ya nowhere fast. You wouldn’t know good salesmanship if it smacked you in the face.” Spamton highlighted his point by slapping his hand against the railing, right in front of Jevil’s hands. The jester reacted none, instead just idly swishing his long tail back and forth above his fat body.
“Perhaps I do not! Though, couldn’t I say the same of you? That phone of yours does much of the work in making sense of the words you spew!”
Spamton immediately whipped his head around to face the jester, his expression growing redder, both with irritation and embarrassment.
“Why, I- That’s got nothin’ t’do with this!”
The jester fell into a laughing fit, kicking his legs as he nearly fell off the railing he was perched on. Spamton’s face just reddened even more as he quickly turned his face away from the guffawing jester, taking a shaky drag from the cig that was perched in between his lips.
“Shut up, Tenna’s gonna hear...“
Jevil paused his laughter to think for a second, before his dark eyes suddenly brightened, deep golden pupils suddenly rolling into view from the back of his head.
“Well, if you’re so concerned about that old thing hearing us, why don’t we take our leave?”
Before Spamton could formulate more than a “What-”, Jevil had jumped up to grab onto the salesman, easily hoisting the little Addison under his shoulder.
“H-Hey, wha- Put my ass down!! What d’you think you’re doin’-”
Spamton struggled in the jester’s grip, letting out an undignified squeak as he was suddenly squoze onto, the jester skipping merrily across the railing to stand in front of the door to Tenna’s office again.
The salesman’s heart dropped as he caught sight of Tenna still on the couch in the office, now hunched over and gently bouncing his leg, a cigarette of his own in between those huge fingers. He sent up a prayer for Tenna to do anything else but look over at the glass, literally anything else-
“Yoohoo!! Take one last look for the night, dear ‘Spammy’!”
The CRT looked over as soon as Jevil started talking, his expression falling to a cartoonishly surprised frown. Fuck. Spamton had to look away from that face, as guilt quickly arrived to eat at him again. Even though this.. literally was Jevil’s stupid fault.
“Why the long face, my companioning darkner? We can do whatever our wretched hearts desire, mailman! Say goodbye to your ‘partner’!”
With a “hup”, Jevil was up in the air just as Spamton caught one last look at a deflated Tenna staring at the two of them, and he let out an instinctual yelp as he felt the air around them rush past him.
“God damn it, you bitch! What-”
He stopped his thrashing as he glanced down. 5 floors below was the snowy ground, and the Addison’s face paled. Meanwhile, Jevil was giggling up a storm, twirling around in the air as Spamton clung to the jester as tightly as he possibly could.
Strangely, even with the dizzying height, the prospect of death below seemed.. quite far away, all things considered. Jevil had an iron grip on the salesman, and he came to a stop with his spinning as he noticed Spamton’s fear heightening, using his other arm to hold onto Spamton’s hand that was locked on tight to the jester’s suspender.
As Spamton’s breath slightly slowed from its break-neck pace, Jevil sauntered from side to side in the air, slowly lowering the two of them down to the ground as he hummed an unidentifiable tune to himself. Or, maybe it was just Spamton’s own deep, wishful thinking.. maybe it was for him. That was dumb. Spamton had more pressing things to worry about right now.
Eventually, though, the two reached the ground, Jevil’s shoes barely making any sound in the thin layer of snow. Spamton immediately dislodged himself from the jester’s tight grip, and, ever the drama queen, fell to his knees and sent a mumbled prayer up to the Angel.
“D-Dear fuck, Jevil, wh-what the fuck?? What the hell was that?”
Jevil merely covered his mouth to chuckle quietly at that as Spamton got himself back up and dusted the snow off himself, and the salesman unfortunately found his face heating up again for whatever reason as he noticed. Jevil’s mannerisms were.. unfortunately quite endearing at times, even when he had just nearly killed Spamton by dangling him from 5 floors up.
“You never let yourself experience any fun, my friend! Your life is dull, painfully so... Don’t you wish to expand your horizons?”
Spamton let out a huff, crossing his arms. “I-I mean.. sure, but not by you kidnappin’ me like that! A-Are you crazy?? T-Tenna saw us, f’fucks sake! He’s gonna give me a real earful later, y’know that?”
The jester giggled again at Spamton’s huffing and puffing before suddenly sticking out a hand from under his cape, motioning for the salesman to.. hold it? Spamton just stared at him, only then realizing that his cigarette was probably on the deck upstairs. And that he had no real way of explaining to Tenna why he basically let himself get accosted by this freak.
His chest tightened at that, but then loosened again as he tuned back into Jevil’s face. His head was cocked to the side again, but not to a frightening degree. And his grin was softer, eyebrows furrowed... He seemed to be asking for Spamton’s companionship tonight.
And for some reason, Spamton’s chest grew warm and loose. He tentatively placed his hand in Jevil’s, though not without a grumble about how stupid this all was and how he was going to be “hung, strung, ‘n quartered” by Tenna later.
Jevil seemed quite satisfied with this outcome, his grin growing to shit-eating levels. Spamton had to avert his eyes to keep his face from growing hotter.
Once again, the jester had won. Maybe that wasn’t too bad of an outcome, though.