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The castle is… in chaos…! There’s screaming, and Cookies running every which way. I’ve taken to hiding in a broom closet, the door locked from the inside. It’s… rather fortunate the kingdom is prepared for times such as these, even if the screams of the servants and staff say otherwise. My heart pounds in my chest, my dough holding a chill that has less to do with the bitter cold and more to do with a threat I have yet to see or understand… one which, luckily, has yet to see me.
I don’t know how long I stay in the closet, when the screams begin to grow closer. Children squeal, women shriek, men scream. Even the warriors who greet me, calm, icily collected despite the gossip they spew behind my back, let out shouts of surprise and warning. It… sounds like they’re on the defensive. Which is definitely odd… as if they don’t actually want to harm whatever or whoever is threatening the castle. A dark shape, in a tattered cloak, sword coated in jam and crumbs move past the broom closet.
I only know because I’ve pressed my face up against the gap between the door and its frame… I almost mistake it for Dark Cacao Cookie. I almost leave the closet to follow… except that’s not Dark Cacao Cookie. That’s Dark Choco Cookie, whom I’ve rarely seen around the castle. And he’s heading towards the armory, where I don’t doubt Dark Cacao Cookie has fled to prepare for combat.
It’s too soon…! I think, before wondering what it’s too soon for. An image of a training-weary Dark Cacao Cookie comes to mind. No, no— it’s too soon for me to be able to take over the kingdom, should anything happen to him. It’s too soon because so many Cookies still gossip, still look at me with suspicion, still look at me as if I am less than the mud caked into the bottoms of their boots.
I— I have to do something, but what? I don’t want to crumble— not here. Not so far from home. An image of Dark Cacao, smiling at a one-off joke I made comes to mind. He was tired, then… he’d just been… arguing with Dark Choco Cookie. Was their relationship really so poor that Dark Choco would seek to destroy the whole of the Dark Cacao Kingdom? No— Affogato Cookie, keep your composure. Yes, compose yourself…
I take a deep, shaky breath. My hands shake as they find the doorknob and… unlock it. So much for composure, too, because I’m practically jogging down the halls as soon as I set foot out of the broom closet. I pass by a portrait of Dark Cacao and a much younger Dark Choco. I don’t realize where I’m going until I’m throwing open the armory door, and… so much jam. There’s so much jam— and, slumped against a corner, Dark Cacao Cookie.
“Dark Cacao Cookie!” I call, striding across the room. No response. I fall to my knees beside him.
“No, no, no—” I rasp, shaking hands reaching for his crumbling dough. And then he groans. And I can breathe a little easier. Because he’s alive and that means not everything has fallen apart yet. But I’m too weak to carry him to get help. The best I can do is— is sit here, like some useless servant and keep my hands pressed against the worst wound. His jam flows over my hands— warm, sticky… and too much.
“By the Dessert Gods…!” I curse, realizing I’ve ruined my clothes. In any other situation, I might laugh at another Cookie with those same thoughts… it’s so trivial. But it doesn’t feel trivial.
“Dark Cacao Cookie…! Listen to me— wake up! You cannot die when you owe me new robes!” I hiss, shedding my outermost robe to use as a tourniquet. I’m so cold, but I’m already numb to it. Dark Cacao lets out a wheeze that, any other time, I might have counted for a laugh. And then he groans as I tie my robe tight around his wound.
“Affo…?” He rasps, but I’m already on my feet, and running.
“Fetch a healer! Anyone! Dark Cacao is hurt!”
***
It’s been days since the attack. Dark Cacao is hardly awake, and when he is, he’s not here. Not really. His eyes are glazed over. But I’m sitting here, anyway, in this hard cake log chair… It would serve me well, for Dark Cacao to realize who so graciously saved him, I tell myself, adding another fur on top of Dark Cacao as his face pinches— anger or pain, I don’t know. I don’t know what dreams plague him, now, but I do doubt they’re pleasant.
“Idiotic Cookies, all of them,” I grumble, thinking of how the healers keep removing Dark Cacao’s extra blankets whenever they come to check on his wounds. They never replace them. He must be cold. I swallow as I take one of his hands in mine, briefly, and find that at least his hands are still warm. Good. It means he’ll warm up quicker, with the extra blankets.
“Affogato Cookie…?” Dark Cacao rasps. I blink, straightening up instantly.
“Oh! My Liege— you’re awake. Should I fetch a healer?”
“You… thank you, but I simply desire your company, for now,” He sighs, wincing as he tries to pull himself into a sitting position.
I’m at his side, helping him before I realize what I’m doing.
“You need to be more careful, Dark Cacao— you’re injured,” I quietly scold, before I can catch myself.
“I appreciate the concern,” He says. The audacity of this Cookie…!
“But, that said… I must thank you, for saving my life. I can never repay you, Affogato,”
My heart stutters. I grin. So he does indeed remember.
“Well, I’d hardly concern myself with it. The kingdom needs its king, and am I not one of its loyal subjects?”
Dark Cacao scoffs, his version of a laugh, then winces.
“I should fetch—”
“No. Just… stay. I can do without a healer for a few minutes more,” Dark Cacao cuts me off.
“Well, then… is there anything I can fetch you?” I ask.
“Just some coffee… and your company, Affo,” Dark Cacao says. He sounds… tired, but soft. When he looks at me like that, like he doesn’t have to pretend anymore… it’s a warm balm to my cold soul.
“I’ll be right back, then,” I reply, standing. I head for the kitchen, making two cups of coffee. Mine with five sugar cubes and a dash of cream, and his pitch black, with just a couple squares of dark chocolate mixed in… just the way he likes. Bitter, but rich. I bring the cups of coffee back to his room, placing his at his bedside. He sips it with a content sigh, his gaze fixed on me.
“You gave us quite the scare,” I comment, placing my cup down beside his cup on his nightstand.
“I imagine I did,” Dark Cacao replies, nodding.
It’s quiet, for a good few minutes. I stand, heading towards the fireplace, and lighting it with the ferro rod Dark Cacao keeps nearby. I spend a few minutes, poking the firewood with the poker, watching the flames grow, before I straighten up with satisfaction.
“I… never expected Dark Choco would seek to end my life,” Dark Cacao admits. I sigh, shaking my head. He almost threw a wrench in my plan… It would’ve been too soon.
“It is pure luck you’re still with us, Dark Cacao,”
“It wasn’t luck, Affogato— it was you. I am forever in your debt,”
“Any Cookie would’ve done the same,” I reply, making my way back to his bedside. I take my seat back in my chair. Dark Cacao groans, reaching beside him, taking two pillows off of the pile he’s leaning against and handing them to me.
“Dark Cacao?”
“I can’t imagine that chair is comfortable for you… so take these pillows for cushions,” He says. And I grin as I adjust the pillows beneath and behind me, to be cushions.
“You are ever so kind to me, Dark Cacao,”
“I appreciate your company, and your words of kindness, Affo,” He says.
I take his hand in mine. I… don’t think I’d ever wish for this moment to end. Not when he’s alive, smiling at me like I’m all that matters in all of Earthbread.
“And I, you, Cacao,”
***
I wake in a gasping, cold sweat. The fire has burned itself out. There are tears streaming down my face. Dark Cacao… is gone. Tomorrow, I shall be King of the Dark Cacao Kingdom. So why am I crying? Why do I feel as if I’ve carved out a vital piece of my own dough? I can’t stop the quiet sob that tears from my throat as I wipe at my face. I got what I wanted… I had rainbow jellies for dinner, sweet coffee, and I had extra furs brought to my chambers… so why does it feel empty?
I stand, heading for the window. I look out into the snowy night. Everything, everything, is blanketed in white. Not a mouse stirs. Even the soldiers are resting, not working on the wall well into all hours of the night… but something is missing. I find myself quietly gliding through the halls, towards Dark Cacao’s old chambers, before I knock on his door.
“Stupid—” I hiss quietly at myself, opening the door.
And he’s not there. Because of course he isn’t. I let Dark Choco back into the kingdom… and I let him kill Dark Cacao. He’ll never be here again. Tomorrow, this room will be mine. But that’s not tonight. For tonight, this room still belongs to the late Dark Cacao.
My hands shake as I find his purple, silken sheets. It’s not like he’s around to care, so… I climb into his bed, feeling like a helpless little brat again as I bury my face in his pillow. It still smells like him— like dark, bitter hot chocolate during a blizzard. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve the small comfort. But when I look up, there are reminders of Dark Cacao’s presence everywhere.
His first sword rests, displayed, on the wall above his bed, crossing Dark Choco’s much more ornate first, tiny sword. He kept it, even after everything… The furs I brought into his chambers when neither of us could sleep are folded at the bottom of his bed. The nightstand next to his bed, on the side adjacent to the one he sleeps on, isn’t empty… it holds a small sketchbook I left in here so I’d have something to do when we were up late.
I… had a place here. I already had a place here…
I— I can’t stay here, so I stride out of the room and head to the wall, heaving for each breath.
The wall is pure chocolate, and impenetrable. Dark Cacao made sure of that. I walk along the wall, snow crunching beneath my feet as I do so. I freeze when I come to a dark cake log tree. We once stood there, overseeing the preparations for the wall, shoulder-to-shoulder… standing closer than was professional. And, when night fell and none were looking… he pulled me into his side. He was warm, then, and I could feel the way his voice rumbled in his chest.
“We might just make it, yet,” He’d said. He didn’t acknowledge his arm around me, and neither did I… nobody ever touched me with such warmth. It sparked a feeling that never knew the cold.
I swallow as I press a hand to the tree’s trunk. It’s barely warmer than the cold air. So… how… how cold must Dark Cacao’s crumbs be? Did he die calling for me? I shake my head. It’s all memories, here. I wipe at my stinging, traitorous eyes. I want to die, here. Pathetically. In this place where I first felt warm… but I threw it all away, just like I wanted. Tomorrow, I will be king. Tonight? I will be whatever I need to be to get through the night. I’m still awake, when the first light of morning breaks through. It’s my first day as king. I must be perfection personified… again. Forever more.