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Liam lay curled up on his bed in his shared room with Niall, burrowed mostly under his blankets while looking out at the dreary London weather. Soft rain pattered down on the rooftop, droplets running down the glass.
They were in a lull between shows, given a couple days break until their next performance. The finale was coming up in a couple of weeks.
He had no idea where the blonde Irish boy was currently but Liam couldn’t muster up enough energy to get up and look for him. To be honest he was more than likely mucking around with Louis.
Liam couldn’t help the little eye roll to himself at the trouble they were probably getting up to. Though a small fond smile also made its way onto his face at the idea of Niall getting more out of his shy shell with the help of the older Doncaster lad.
But as his thoughts wandered once again his shadow of self doubt began to slither its way back into his mind. He had overheard some of the other contestants gossiping backstage of their last performance. Whispers that he eavesdropped on while hidden behind some of the large speaker systems.
“Did you hear Liam’s part in their latest performance? He sounded like a dying animal with that voice crack.”
“I can’t believe Simon Cowell picked him to be in that stupid boyband, he should’ve turned him away for a second time.”
“One Direction would be better off without him, they’re only going to be dragged down by that deadweight.”
“Not to mention that ridiculous hairstyle of his! I heard he uses his sister’s PINK straightener. How pathetic is that?!”
Tears welled in his eyes as he recalled what he heard the other night. Liam hadn’t told any of the other lads about what happened. He knew if he had said anything both Louis AND Zayn would have confronted the gossipers and that was the last thing he needed.
Both of the lads being the oldest of the group had taken on the protective roles over the younger three. Though where Louis was more of a protective older brother to Liam, Zayn was harder to read. It seemed like his feelings for Liam were strictly platonic, but the Bradford lad was so enigmatic that it often left others wondering what his true feelings and intentions were.
It didn’t help that Liam might have had a little crush on the older boy. His cheeks warmed as he thought about Zayn. His cheeky smile he only showed to those he was comfortable with. His soft, raven hair he had started styling into a quiff. Those black framed glasses he hated wearing in public even though Liam thought he looked good with them.
Even more he loved the quiet, steady presence the Bradford lad offered. The way he knew whenever Liam needed comfort and would gladly hold him in his warm arms until Liam felt better. Gosh how he wished Zayn was here now to hold him.
But Liam was afraid. There couldn’t possibly be a way that Zayn reciprocated his feelings. Especially not if he heard about what the other contestants were saying.
What if Zayn agreed with them and was just biding his time until the end of X Factor when he would tell the other lads that Liam was no good and then he would be kicked out??
Liam was so caught up in his miserable swirl of thoughts that he didn’t even hear the soft knocks on the bedroom door. It wasn’t until he felt his bed shift behind him and a warm hand rest on his shoulder that Liam was pulled roughly from his thoughts with a startled squeak.
Turning his head abruptly over his shoulder he was met with familiar hazel eyes staring down at him behind black frames. Liam hastily scrubbed at his red rimmed eyes, trying to wipe away the fact that he had embarrassingly been crying to himself like a baby.
“Are you alright, Li? You didn’t answer when I knocked or when I called your name– three times,” Zayn asked him, his hazel eyes full of concern.
”Mhm,” Liam nodded his head rapidly. “M’fine Zee! W-what did you need?”
Zayn didn’t look convinced. His brows were furrowed in suspicion but he chose not to press it for now.
”I brought you some soup,” he pointed to the full bowl of steaming baked potato soup Harry had cooked up for his new bandmates. “I noticed you weren’t at breakfast so I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.”
His tone was a little more on the scolding side which made Liam duck his head down in shame.
“Y-you didn’t have to bring me anything. I wasn’t really all that hungry anyways,” Liam mumbled.
Liam’s stomach chose that time to make him a liar and grumbled rather loudly in protest. His cheeks flamed red as he wrapped his arms around his stomach as if trying to muffle the noise. Zayn raised an eyebrow incredulously, a tiny smirk forming on his lips.
“Your stomach says otherwise, Liam. Here, eat up,” Zayn didn’t give him any more time to protest as he pulled him up into a sitting position against his pillows and shoved the bowl of still warm soup into his hands.
Really, it did smell delicious. Bits of melted cheese floated on the top as well as little bacon crumbles and green onions. The bowl was warm enough to heat his hands up but not enough to burn or be uncomfortable. He also noticed that there was a fork instead of a spoon in it.
“Thank you, Zayn,” Liam smiled at him shyly, feeling his heart flutter as the other remembered his odd fear of spoons. Yet, the Bradford boy never made fun of him for it and always tried his best to accommodate Liam’s needs.
“Of course, Li,” Zayn replied with a smile of his own. “Harry made it a little on the thicker side for you since you’re using a fork and not a spoon.”
Liam was grateful to the younger curly haired boy for thinking of him when he was making their lunch. But that nasty little voice in the back of his head told him that because of Liam, Harry had to go out of his way and do extra work. He was being a nuisance.
He didn’t even realize he had slowed down in his bites until Zayn nudged his shoulder with his own where he still sat next to the younger lad, perched on the edge of his bed. He jolted a little from where he had been just staring at his half empty bowl of soup, berating himself for being caught up in his thoughts again.
“Liam, babe, what’s wrong? And don’t give me the ‘I’m fine’ bull either because I can clearly see that you’re not.”
Liam nibbled on his bottom lip subconsciously. He was torn about whether or not he should tell Zayn about what was going on inside his head.
On one hand, he trusted Zayn and realistically knew the older boy wouldn’t judge him. The two of them had grown quite close very quickly over the past few weeks since Simon Cowell made them a band together.
On the other hand, Liam could feel his anxieties swirling around in his gut, mixing with the soup he’d just eaten and making him feel a little queasy. What if Zayn thought he was just being a big baby about this situation? Even worse, Liam could never tell him about his crush on the older boy, Zayn would think he’s a freak and stop being friends with him.
Feeling fingers gently gripping his chin, Liam found his head being turned to the side and tilted upwards to look into Zayn’s concerned hazel eyes. Even with glasses Liam couldn’t deny how handsome he was.
Just as Zayn was about to open his mouth to prompt Liam to speak up once again the Wolverhampton boy beat him to it.
“Do you think I’m gonna be kicked out of the band?” Liam blurted.
Zayn paused, his brow furrowed in confusion. He didn’t get a chance to answer Liam’s question as the younger lad just continued to ramble, as if that one sentence broke the dam and words were just flooding out of him in a jumbled mess.
“I mean, it would make sense, right? Let's face it, I was horrible during this last performance! My voice cracked and I wasn’t melding well with the rest of the lads. Not to mention how I look. I mean what kind of boy uses their older sister’s straightening iron on their hair?! I look so stupid but my curls can be too messy sometimes and they’re hard to tame. I can’t even hold a handle to the rest of you!”
Liam hardly took time to breathe as he rambled. He barely even registered what he was saying so caught up in his ranting.
“Don’t even get me started on you, Zee! I mean, look at you! You’re so hot and everyone loves you, with your gorgeous hazel eyes, your chiseled jaw, and charming smile! Your voice is so angelic too I could listen to you sing or, heck, even just talk for hours! Anyone would be a bloody fool to not fall head over heels for you-”
“Liam.”
Zayn’s voice cut through his mindless babbling and Liam’s jaw snapped shut with an audible clack of his teeth. It was only then that he realized the extent of his word vomit and it hit him just what he had done and all he had just said.
Oh bloody hell. I’ve just royally screwed up.
“Z-Zayn…I-I didn’t mean- well I did m-mean-”
“How about you let me talk now, yeah? I think you’ve successfully said what’s on your mind,” Zayn smiled a little, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Liam just nodded his head silently, averting his eyes down to the blanket covering his lap as he picked anxiously at a loose thread. This was it. This was where Zayn would tell him he was disgusted by him and to pack up and leave now as quickly as possible.
He was shocked when Zayn took the now forgotten bowl of soup from his other hand and placed it back on the table, instead taking Liam’s slightly smaller hands in his own and prompting him to look at the older boy once again. He couldn’t deny how nice it felt to have Zayn’s hands holding his own.
“First of all, I don’t know where the nonsense of you getting kicked from the band came from but I’m going to squash that right now. Liam, you are one of the most talented singers I know. It takes courage to be denied once on a show like this and still come back to try again,” Zayn started.
“I think I can confidently speak for the rest of the lads when I say that we would never even dream about kicking you from the band. We wouldn’t be the same without you. As for your looks, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look. If someone said something to you about them then I want to know names because I got something to say back and I’m sure Louis would too if he heard about this.”
A bit of anger seeped into Zayn’s last words as he thought of someone deliberately saying such garbage to Liam that the younger boy would go and start believing it.
“N-No its okay you don’t h-have to say anything to anybody!” Liam hastily replied.
Zayn squinted down at him with a look that said otherwise and Liam knew he’d have a hard time trying to talk Zayn out of confronting someone who bullied his friends. He just knew if Louis got involved as well then it would be double the trouble.
“We will be coming back to this topic, Liam. No one should say such bullshit and get away with it,” Zayn’s tone left no room for arguments. “Now, as for the last bit about my looks…”
Liam flushed once again and tried to pull out of Zayn’s grip on his hands but the older lad just tightened his grip and made it clear Liam wasn’t going anywhere. Not that he could anyways since Zayn was directly blocking his way out from where he was cornered on his bed against the wall.
“You say I’m the gorgeous one, but babe, you clearly haven’t looked in the mirror lately because you are stunning both inside and out, Li. There’s nothing wrong with your hair, straight or curly. Though if you ask me I think your curls are cuter,” Zayn winked at him. “Your eyes, gosh, I could get lost in them.”
Zayn’s gaze softened as he looked down at the younger boy next to him. The bright red flush on his cheeks that ran to the tips of his ears and down his next, under the collar of his shirt. He wondered just how far down that blush went and how easy it would be to make it appear.
The Bradford boy quickly halted those thoughts before they went south. Now was not the time.
“Your sweet smile and adorable little giggles you let out when you can’t help but laugh at how Louis is being a bloody idiot. But most importantly, your heart, Liam. You always know just what to say to encourage not only me, but the rest of the lads whenever something is bothering us. Our lives have changed, for the better, since we met you Liam and there is no one we would rather have in the band than you.”
By the end of Zayn’s little speech, Liam had more tears welling up in his eyes. But this time they weren’t tears of sadness or anxiety. They were tears of relief and happiness.
“You…y-you really mean that, Zee?” Liam asked softly, afraid to ruin this moment.
Zayn cupped his cheek in one warm hand, thumb gently brushing away the stray tear that escaped Liam’s eye. “Every word, love. I’ll repeat it as many times as necessary until you get it in that beautiful brain of yours that you are absolutely wanted and loved by all of us, especially me.”
As he spoke, Zayn rested his forehead against Liam's, staring directly into his big brown puppy eyes. It was true, Zayn could get lost in his gaze all day. It was so easy to fall into those deep chocolate swirls, and if you looked close enough you’d see flecks of green hidden away.
“Thank you, Zaynie. You always know how to cheer me up,” Liam sniffled with a small smile. “Does… d-does that mean y-you also…”
Liam trailed off hesitantly, biting his lower lip as he averted his eyes nervously once again. This couldn’t be too good to be true right?
Zayn chuckled nervously, using his other hand to rub the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Ah, yeah. I do like you, Li. A lot actually, maybe even more than just like,” Zayn started. “I wanna take you on dates, spoil you, get to know you even better than I do now. There’s so much I want to do with you Liam and I know being in the band will make it difficult but I’m willing to take that risk. That is…if you are as well?”
Liam immediately nodded his head enthusiastically. “I want that too Zee! I want that so much and I was always so afraid that you would never reciprocate my feelings.”
With both their hearts on their sleeves and true feelings out in the open between them it seemed neither wanted to wait any longer for what happened next.
“Can I kiss you, Leeyum?” Zayn whispered softly, his hands still cupping Liam’s cheeks as his eyes flicked down to the younger boy’s plump lips before darting back up to his deep, brown orbs.
“Please,” Liam nodded his head as they both leaned in slowly.
The moment their lips touched it was like everything else around them faded. It was soft, nothing more than a gentle press of lips against one another but to them it was a perfect first kiss.
Zayn loved the way Liam’s soft, plump lips felt against his own and he immediately knew he wanted to kiss the younger lad til the end of time. One day he’d like to devour Liam’s mouth, snog the younger boy breathless. But for now this was perfect.
Liam hadn’t even realized his eyes had fluttered shut until he felt Zayn gently pull away after a couple of minutes. He let out a small whimper, opening his eyes to peer shyly up at Zayn.
“Is…i-is something wrong? Did y-you not l-like it?”
Zayn quickly stopped Liam’s worried rambles with another kiss. A gentle peck before pulling back and smiling fondly down at him.
“It was perfect, baby. I could kiss you all day and all night,” Zayn assured him honestly. “But I want to take my time with you, love. If I don’t stop now I may lose control of myself.”
Liam blushed furiously at the hidden meaning behind Zayn’s words and the look in his eyes when he said that. As much as he’d like that too one day, today was definitely not it.
His thoughts were interrupted as a yawn escaped him. He tried to hide it behind his hand but Zayn caught it immediately.
“Why don’t you take a nap, love? I’m sure the boys wouldn’t mind pushing back the rainy-day movie marathon they had planned for an hour or two,” Zayn suggested.
Liam hesitated a bit at first but his past few sleepless nights had finally caught up to him. He couldn’t deny the appeal of snuggling in bed and taking a nap to the soothing sounds of rain outside.
Nodding his head with a small ‘okay’, Liam moved to make himself comfortable under his blankets.
Zayn was just standing up, getting ready to take Liam’s soup bowl back downstairs to wash when he felt a hand reach out and grasp at his long sleeve shirt. He quickly turned his head back to see Liam looking down at the bed, his eyes averted but his hand still clinging tightly to Zayn.
“S-Stay..?” Liam asked softly.
“Of course, love. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”
Zayn set the bowl back on the nightstand and quickly slipped his phone from his sweatpants pocket to shoot a text to the group chat with the other lads that he and Liam would be taking a short nap and then would be down for the movie marathon. He placed it on the nightstand alongside Liam’s own phone before lifting the covers and sliding underneath the blankets.
Liam had his back pressed up against the wall, trying to give Zayn as much room as possible on the twin size bed. It was a bit snug for two teenage boys to be laying on but he’d try and give Zayn space if he wanted.
He let out a squeak as he felt a warm arm drape over his waist and pull him flush to Zayn’s chest. The younger lad looked up to see Zayn had taken off his glasses and set them aside on the nightstand as well and was making himself comfortable, keeping his arm tight around Liam’s waist.
Zayn smiled at him and leaned forward to press a kiss to Liam’s forehead before resting his head on one of the pillows. “Get some sleep, love. I’ll be here when you wake.”
Liam only hesitated for one more minute before he rested his head against Zayn’s broad chest, listening to the older boy’s steady heartbeat. With his head tucked directly underneath Zayn’s chin, Zayn’s strong, warm arm holding him close to his body and his hand tracing gentle circles across Liam’s back, mixed with the steady pattering of raindrops on the windowpane it didn’t take much longer for the Wolverhampton boy to drift off into sleep.
Zayn could hear Liam’s breathing even out slowly, the lad’s smaller body slotted perfectly with his own, like he was made to fix against him. He continued to gently trace random patterns across the younger lad’s back as his own eyes grew heavier.
It didn’t take Zayn long to follow Liam into sleep. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Liam, holding him protectively as two thoughts swirled in his mind.
One: Zayn was going to show Liam how much the younger lad meant to him. Love him, protect him, and treat him the way he deserves. Spoiled and doted on forever.
Two: He was not going to let whoever hurt Liam get away with it. He’d find out who was spewing such ridiculous hate and make them regret they ever uttered such nonsense about Liam.
Perhaps Louis would join him? He knew the Doncaster lad would be on the same train as Zayn was and would want to get revenge on whoever hurt Liam. Yes, Zayn would seek assistance from the oldest of the group and together the two would come up with a plan.
But for now, Zayn was content to lay and snuggle with Liam with a smile on his face as the two boys drifted off. Both dreaming of what the future held for the two of them.