Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sleep had always been something Yuuri liked. Peaceful, dreamless sleep, free from judgment and responsibility for just a few hours. Although in the morning he always seemed to be ripped from that bliss. Get ready for class, go to school, go to practice, the same thing day in and day out. School isn’t that bad, Yuuri doesn’t have many friends, if any at all, so he just goes from class to class uninterrupted. No, school wasn’t the issue, it was practice. For as long as Yuuri could remember something inside him has always longed to skate, to be so graceful and beautiful. To achieve this goal Yuuri has been attending a skating program with a group of people about his age and a coach, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Yuuri makes his way to the rink to practice what he had learned in hopes of getting better, but he never seems to do so. It was almost laughable, him as a highschool student with years of practice under his belt and Yuuri can’t even land a single jump. He was never in the eyes of the couch as anything more than a stubborn student who hasn’t accepted the facts and given up.

Today was just like any other Monday, Yuuri was dragged out of his blissful sleep by the sound of his alarm. Begrudgingly pulling himself out of bed Yuuri pulls on some clothes that were set out the night before, bushed his bed head, and packed his bag before leaving without breakfast. As if working on autopilot throughout the day, Yuuri drifted from class to class without saying so much as a word. At lunch Yuuri got his food and went to eat it in his next class. As if like clockwork the nice red headed girl who sat two seats in front of him on her boyfriend’s lap spoke up.

“Hey, Yuuri,” she smiled and waved. Looking up Yuuri returned the sentiment before going back to focusing on his poor excuse for a school lunch.

“You look dead today,” the girl’s boyfriend said in a concerned tone. Her boyfriend was a large guy with black hair, almost like Yuuri’s but shorter. If Yuuri didn’t know better he’d think this guy was one to be feared or avoided but really he’s one of the nicest guys Yuuri knows.

“I guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Yuuri spoke softly as he adjusted his glasses. It wasn’t a lie, something about last night left Yuuri tossing and turning throughout the night. The couple gave him concerned looks but didn’t say anything more.

From there the rest of the day continued as normal and school was released at 3pm. In his last class Yuuri gathered his assignments and headed off for the short walk to the skating rink. As he walked, Yuuri mentally prepared himself for practice today. When Yuuri arrived there was already multiple kids on the ice talking among each other as the coach had a one on one with a student, helping her form. Taking a deep breath Yuuri made his way to the locker rooms to strap up his skates and wobbly walk to the ice. It always seems like when you first get on the ice it’s a bit shaky.

Just like at school, Yuuri didn’t exactly have many friends here. In fact about everyone on the ice seemed to hate him, all he did was hold back the class because he was seemingly unable to perform anything they learned correctly. Today they went over the basic moves and at the end they were practicing jumps and spins which Yuuri, as always, had a tough time with. It’s come to the point where the couch won't even bother and just moves onto the next student.

Practice seemed to move quickly and before he even knew it Yuuri was getting off the ice and untying his skates. The locker room was a bit crowded with all the other students talking loudly among each other.

“Hey,” Yuuri heard a voice coming from behind him. It was a long hair blond boy, he was leaning in with his foot on the bench that Yuuri was sitting on. “Why are you still here? You can’t skate if your life depended on it, even the coach knows that. So why do you even bother? Why don’t you just face facts and give it, you’re dragging the whole class behind.” The blond boy seemed to spit his words and lean in closer with a snarl. A bit too petrified to respond Yuuri just gathered his things and began to walk out of the locker room. The boy called at him as he walked away but Yuuri ignored him, feeling tears form in his eyes as he left the doors of the ice rink.

The walk home seemed longer than normal and Yuuri fought the need to cry. To his relief, upon getting home Yuuri found that his parents were still at work. Walking slowly up the stairs to his room, Yuuri couldn’t hold it in anymore and just laid on his bed letting the hot tears flow from his eyes.

He’s not sure how long he cried for but eventually Yuuri felt his eyes grow heavy as he drifted into the peaceful darkness of sleep.

Chapter Text

“Huh?” Yuuri looked around confused. Where was he? It looked like a lobby of some kind, but nobody was here. Yuuri tried the front doors but they didn’t seem to work. He was left to wander aimlessly in this strange waiting room type place. How did he even get here?

A sound caught his attention, a sound he knew all too well. The sound of skates on ice seemed to echo throughout the building, as if being played on the overhead speakers. Yuuri walked around a bit trying to find the source of the noise but nothing was to be found, except a door.

“Was this door always here?” Yuuri muttered to himself looking around. Softly pushing on it, the door swung open with ease and lead into a large stadium. Rows upon rows of empty seats all facing a beautifully large ice rink. The place seemed as empty as the other room except, that sound. Yuuri had to strain his eyes to see but it looked as if there was someone on the ice.

He walked down the almost endless steps to get a closer look. Finding himself right up to the ice, Yuuri watched as a man in his early 20’s skated so gracefully across the ice. He was beautiful, the way his short silver hair flowed in the air as his arms made graceful poetic motions as if acting out a scene. Yuuri couldn’t take his eye off the man and the man didn’t even seem to notice Yuuri was there.

Just as the skater finished up his routine he faced Yuuri and took a small bow. Yuuri could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and he softly clapped at the performance. The skater, with a smile, moved up to meet Yuuri. With a smile tilt of his head and a kind smile the man offered his hand out to Yuuri, and Yuuri couldn’t help but accept it. Before he knew it Yuuri was pulled onto the ice, when did he even put on skates? He didn’t have much time to question anything before soft piano music flowed from the speakers. The skater wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s waist and then intertwined his other hand with Yuuri’s and began leading the both of them to an almost walts like routine.

Yuuri didn’t stumble, didn’t fall, he felt almost weightless and graceful with this man. Yuuri just couldn’t seem to take his eyes of him, his crystal blue eyes, slim but strong body. Without warning the man twisted Yuuri into a spin and for a second left him there. To his own surprise Yuuri was able to do a perfect front spin on his own, stopping perfectly on both feet. Looking down at himself in amazement Yuuri couldn’t help but smile and laugh triumphantly.

The man skated forward and took Yuuri’s hands in his, smiling proudly. Once again Yuuri was being pulled along in a dance like fashion, this time he was able to throw his own moves within the mix, doing twists and turns, gliding across the ice. Yuuri for the first time felt like free in his element.

At some point the man stopped Yuuri to catch his attention. Yuuri watched as the man took a skating start then leaped into the air, performing a perfect double toe jump with ease. Turning back to Yuuri the man stared at Yuuri as if waiting for him to mimic his movements. Anxious, Yuuri took a deep breath and decided it wouldn’t hurt to try. Moving to one end of the rink Yuuri did his best to pick up as much speed as possible before leaping the air. It seemed so much easier, though Yuuri had a tough landing, he actually did the jump. The man rushed to Yuuri’s side to help him up off the ice, Yuuri just looked up at his with amazement in his eyes.

Determined to try again, Yuuri went back to the other side of the ice. Again and again Yuuri did the jump improving each time. About the fourth or fifth try Yuuri landed it perfectly. Before Yuuri could even turn to his new found friend for appraisement he found himself enwrapped in the man’s arms. Holding him close the man leaned next to Yuuri’s ear and whispered in a thick Russian accent.

“I’m so proud of you, Yuuri,” pulling away with a genuine smile, the music had stopped and the man made his way to the edge of the ice.

“Wait,” Yuuri called desperately trying to skate towards him, but the weight of reality seemed to fall upon him like a pile of bricks. Yuuri began to stumble and slip on the ice as an annoying buzzing began to ring in his ears. Realizing he won’t be able to catch up, Yurri called out one last thing, “What’s your name?” All the man did was smile and wave as everything seemed to fade into black.

The sound of Yuuri’s alarm painfully yanked him out of his dream. Sitting up in bed Yuuri could help but wonder what the hell just happened. It’s been years since he’s had a dream and none have been as real as that one felt.

Looking at the time Yuuri decided not to ponder on it anymore and to just get ready for school.

Chapter Text

Something about that dream had buried itself in Yuuri’s mind and he couldn’t shake the feeling of it. Are dreams supposed to be that real? And who was that guy? There were too many questions and little to no answers. Yuuri couldn’t concentrate in any of his classes and had even forgot to do his homework in one of them. When lunchtime rolled around he took his normal seat and the red haired girl said her usual greeting.

“Hey Yuuko, do you know anything about dreams?”

The redhead took a second to think before speaking. “I believe that all dreams hold some sort of deep meaning and message about yourself. Like they say that one dream about losing teeth is the fear of change or something like that.”

“What about a dream about a guy I’ve never seen before,” Yuuri shifted awkwardly sharing his dream.

“Means you’re lonely,”

“Takeshi!” Yuuko shouted hitting her boyfriend playfully as he laughed a deep laugh. “Sorry about that Yuuri,” she offered in a concerned voice.

“It’s alright, maybe he’s right,” Yuuri smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck feeling a slight blush creep over his cheeks.

Class started soon after that but once again Yuuri was too lost in thought about his dream to completely focus.

School ended shortly after and Yuuri made his usual way to the skate rink. There weren’t many people there, just an occasional couple or parents with a child. It gave Yuuri just enough room to practice. Strapping up his skates, putting in his earbuds, and heading out onto the ice, Yuuri felt more relaxed than he ever had before. He felt sturdy as he glided onto the ice. Taking a moment or two to just skate in circles and get a feel for what he was doing, Yuuri realized how surprisingly easy it came to him. Soon he was attempting backwards, spins, and jumps, well maybe he still can’t land the jumps but everything else just seemed to come to him as if they were the easiest thing in the world.

Amazed at his improvement Yuuri couldn’t help but think of the silver haired man from his dreams. Did such a simple dream really have that much of an impact on him? Yuuri took a few more hours just enjoying himself and practicing his spins and other things he can remember from practice. Upon leaving Yuuri couldn’t help wondering if he’d see the same man in his dreams tonight.

That’s unlikely, he thought, there’s no way I’d have the same dream two nights in a row.

Even though he doubted the possibility, something inside of him held on to hope. Upon getting home Yuuri realize how hungry he was and prepared a quick meal before anxiously getting to bed, hoping for sweet dreams of the mystery man.

Tossing and turning Yuuri just couldn’t seem to fall asleep, so he just lay awake in agony and worry. Contemplating the choices he’s made in his life eventually lulled him to sleep. Once again he was in his dream world. He hurried to the ice in hopes of seeing the same man, but alas it was only him. Soft piano music, different from the night before, played just loud enough for Yuuri to hear. Depressed and let down, Yuuri stepped onto the ice. It felt almost empty compared to the night before, but something about the steady rhythm of music compelled him to skate. No, this wasn’t practice, this was purely expression, emotion. Yuuri felt the sound and gracefully moved with it, starting off slow then slowly growing into spins and even landing jumps.

When the song faded and Yuuri finished his routine, the sound of clapping broke the silence. Wide eyed Yuuri whipped around to see the man standing at the entrance to the rink. Without even thinking Yuuri skated to him, arms open. Why did this feel so natural to him? Yuuri could feel the man enveloping him back in a hug. Yuuri felt… safe.

“Victor,” The man whispered in his ear and before Yuuri could pull away he found himself sitting straight up in bed with the obnoxious sound of his alarm blaring in the background.

Chapter Text

Yuuri couldn’t focus on anything that morning. He left the house still in pajama pants, forgot what class to go to before walking into the wrong one, and even when Yuuko said her daily hello Yuuri didn’t respond.

Victor, he thought, his name is Victor.

Once school ended Yuuri found himself getting lost on the way to the skate rink and was even almost hit by a car when jaywalking. Getting to practice late, Yuuri hurried to get his skates on and join the class that was already working on double toe jumps. Yuuri was still in his own world as he subconsciously stepped onto the ice. His movements were smooth and without flaw. When it came up to Yuuri to attempt the jump, he didn’t feel anxious. In fact, he felt very relaxed, as if he’s done this a million times before. Making sure to get enough speed, he jumped, he spun, and landed it perfectly.

“Yuuri!” The coach’s loud voice yanked Yuuri out of his daze. Looking at his couch terrified Yuuri awaited to be yelled at for an imperfect form or some other mistake. “That jump was perfect. Uh, good job,” The coach was dumb founded searching for the right words to say.

Yuuri just stared in shock at the appraisement, then the reality of what he’s done had hit him. He landed a jump, he had done it perfectly, and it felt so easy and natural to him.

“T-thank you,” Yuuri mumbled as he skated back to the other side of the rink to join everyone else.

Yuuri could feel everyone's gaze burning holes through him. Feeling his face began to grow hot with embarrassment, Yuuri did his best to avoid their eyes. From that point on it seemed as if the coach wanted to only test Yuuri’s abilities. He couldn’t land any more jumps, but he was getting better, his spins were perfect and his coach left him with the project to create a short program. Apparently all the others have been working on theirs for weeks but the coach had neglected to tell him. Yuuri went home feeling good about himself and he had Victor to thank for that. He just couldn’t wait to go to sleep that night.

When night rolled around Yuuri was left, once again laying in bed. Sleep was the furthest thing from his rushing mind. One hour passes, then two, then three. Angry at lack of tiredness Yuuri got out of bed and half stomped to the bathroom. Turning on the blinding light, Yuuri began to stumble through the medicine cabinet.

“Where is it,” Yuuri whispered through gritted teeth. “There!” He smiled triumphantly, pulling out a bottle of sleeping medication. He took the recommended two pills and dipped his head under the bathroom sink for water. Finding his way back to his bedroom Yuuri felt the drowsy symptoms set in and he fell asleep as soon as he hit the pillow.

The dream started out as always, so Yuuri quickly ran down to the ice to happily find Victor skating before him.

“Yuuri,” Victor turned to him a smiled, arms open wide for a hug. Yuuri didn’t hesitate to rush to his arms. Hugging Victor tightly, Yuuri buried his face into his chest.

“I landed a jump today in practice, my coach even praised me!” Yuuri excitedly told the silver haired man how had yet to loosen his embrace. “Thank you, thank you so much Victor,” Yuuri began to slightly sob into Victor’s shoulder.

“You did a great job, Yuuri” Victor ran his fingers comfortably through Yuuri’s hair, soothing the boy’s sobs. “You have a program to work on right? Would you like to practice?” Victor smiled pressing his lips close to Yuuri’s ear. Wiping the remaining tears from his eyes, Yuuri smiled.

As the night went on, Yuuri and Victor worked together on a program. Twists, turns, jumps, spins, and more. Each time Yuuri seemed to improve and each time Victor praised Yuuri or gave him pointers on what to improve on. It was amazing, Yuuri felt so free, so happy.

He never wanted to leave.

Eventually both him and Victor were panting in exhaustion from all the practice. Yuuri was about to strike up a conversation but Victor suddenly moved close. Placing his arms around Yuuri’s waist and pulling him close Victor leaned in and softly pressed his lips against Yuuri’s. Stunned Yuuri stared at him wide eyed, unable to move or speak.

“It’s time for you to go,” Victor’s voice was soft as he gently placed a hand on Yuuri’s forehead. Yuuri was about to protest, but in a blink Victor was gone and Yuuri was back in his bed.

Chapter Text

A soft light seemed through came through the window as Yuuri stared at the ceiling, unable to move. Mustering up the will to roll over, he checked the time. 10:46, school started almost three hours ago. Yuuri must have slept through his alarm, panic didn’t immediately set in but when it did, he got ready faster than he ever had. Still slightly drowsy from his night sleep, Yuuri tumbled and tripped over his own legs while getting dressed and hopping down the stairs.

Hurrying to school, Yuuri hoped he could just slide in the next class without being noticed. How could he have slept through his alarm? Arriving at school just as the lunch bell rang, he hurried to get food and sit in his next class.

“Hey, Yuuri,” looking up he could see Yuuko leaning over his desk, a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay? You were out of it yesterday and today I’ve been trying to talk to you and you just haven’t been paying attention.”

“Oh,” Yuuri perked up a little bit, “I’m sorry, I’ve been tired lately. A lot of stress with skating and all that.”

“Don’t stress yourself out too much,” she was genuinely concerned, in fact everyone listening in on the conversation seemed to look at Yuuri with worry.

“D-don’t worry, I’m alright.”

Lucky for Yuuri the bell rang for class to begin and everyone turned their attention to the teacher. The lesson seemed to drag on and at the same time Yuuri’s eyes began to feel heavy. It wouldn’t hurt to rest for just a little bit right? Closing his eyes, Yuuri found himself back watching Victor skate. It took a moment but Yuuri realized that he was skating the program they were working on. A feeling of joy washed over him as he rushed down the stairs to the rink, only to trip over his own legs and go tumbling down.

Waking up with a jolt, Yuuko was standing over him with the same concerned look.

“Wh-”

“You should go home, you don’t look well,” she cut him off.

Before Yuuri could comprehend her words she had him by the arm and began pulling him towards the front of the school, her boyfriend following behind.

“Go home,” she said sternly.

“I’d do what she says if I were you, she’s not one to argue with,” Takeshi added.

Giving in, Yuuri bid them a good day and began to head home. All drowsiness from that short nap had washed away from him, but Yuuri didn’t want to just go home and do nothing. Going up the stairs to the bathroom, Yuuri took the familiar sleeping pills and headed back to bed.

“Don’t you have practice after school?” Victor said concerned. Yuuri had found himself already on the ice standing before a very stern looking Victor.

“Yeah, and I’m here for practice,” Yuuri smiled.

Victor clicked his tongue and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yuuri, you need practice out there too.”

“Okay, I promise to go tomorrow,” Yuuri hung his head a bit.

“It’s not as though I’m not happy to see you, in fact it’s quite the opposite,” Victor said carefully guiding Yuuri’s face to meet his. “It’s just, you can’t spend your whole life here.”

Yuuri wanted to question it more, but the look in Victor’s eyes made him think otherwise. The two of them spent the whole night skating, talking, and plan just enjoying each other’s company. There was times when Victor guided Yuuri through a move, placing his hand on Yuuri’s hips, making his heart race. Soft kisses were exchanged throughout the night that made Yuuri blush.

He’d fallen in love with the man in his dreams.

Chapter Text

Even when morning arisen, Yuuri still found himself still lost in his dream. The morning gave way into afternoon as Yuuri had completely lost track of time. Eventually, Victor forced Yuuri to say their goodbyes and he had awoken in the same old bed in his same old room. With a sigh, Yuuri rolled over and checked the time.

2:43

Fuck.

Yuuri quickly changed his clothes and hurried out the door. Completely skipping school, he sprinted all the way to the skating rink. Getting to practice earlier than everyone else, Yuuri was able to take his time and practice his routine. Stepping onto the ice, he followed the movements that him and Victor had practiced.

Following through the motions was almost like reliving a memory, the soft upbeat music playing in his head. Becoming entranced within his own routine, Yuuri didn’t even notice when the others came to practice. They all stood on the sidelines watching as Yuuri landed every jump and aced every spin. When he was finished, Yuuri was dragged out of his trance by an abrupt applause. Whipping around, almost falling on his ass in the process, Yuuri stared in surprise to see a group of people cheering him on. Some he recognized, such as his coach’s solem clap, or the employees of the skate rink who have gathered to watch the show.

The one person who seemed to stand out was the blond boy from the other day. His sharp blue eyes held a look of distaste and disgust, that burned through Yuuri making him shrink back. Yuuri stumbled shyly to the edge of the rink to greet his class. The coach praised him and gave pointers on how to improve, while others listened intently hoping to learn something themselves.

Practice went by surprisingly fast today as the couch seemed to focus almost completely on Yuuri, perfecting his spins, his turns, his jumps. Others struggled to keep up, falling and making mistakes with no correction. Yuuri felt shy about the attention and had attempted to help them the best he could, but was suddenly pulled away by the hard assed coach.

Finally getting off the ice and heading to the locker room, Yuuri was relieved to take off his skates. Although the nights he spends with Victor are just dreams, it doesn’t take away from the exorcise his body seems to think it gets, leaving Yuuri a lot more sore than normal. While in the locker room groups of people came up to Yuuri congratulating him, asking on pointers, asking how he improved so much in such a short time. Yuuri, of course, answered shyly unsure how to explain and ended up just telling them he took extra time to practice. People kept him talking to him as he placed his skates away and began to move to leave.

“Where do you think you’re going, pig?” Confused, Yuuri turned around to be met with the short blonde boy. He was standing uncomfortably close, almost on his tiptoes to get in Yuuri’s face. The crowd had seem to part for the blonde.

“Oh, I was going to go home,” Yuuri said backing up a bit with a shy smile.

“You’re not going anywhere,” the blonde shoved Yuuri so forcefully he tumbled backwards and tripped over the bench, hitting his head on the lockers on his way down. A gasp was heard throughout the room as it grew silent. Yuuri’s vision blurred and blackened as the shorter boy stiffened and walked out of the locker room.

Yuuri’s consciousness regained shortly after a few moments. The room by this time was empty, no one had even bothered to get help. His head throbbed and his vision was still not quiet in focus. Struggling to sit up, Yuuri rubbed the back of his head. He winsed in pain as something warm and sticky hit his fingers. Looking at his now red stained hand, Yuuri’s eyes began to fill with hot tears. He wasn’t sure if it was from the pain or humiliation, either way Yuuri wanted nothing more than to go home and go to sleep.

Half sprinting out of the locker room Yuuri rushed home, tears still streaming out of his eyes. Once home Yuuri went straight for the medicine cabinet, struggling to open the bottle before pouring a handful of pills into his hand. Yuuri wasn’t sure how many he took, and frankly he wasn’t thinking straight enough to care. He just wanted to see Victor.

The bathroom floor isn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but Yuuri didn’t have the strength anymore. He fell to his knees and struggled to lean against the wall, tears still streaming how his face. Pulling his legs up to his chest, Yuuri cried into his knees and eventually cried himself to sleep.

The dream world gave such relief to Yuuri, looking around with the biggest smile as he stood on the ice. His dry eyes happily searched for Victor but before he knew it Victor had his arms around him, hugging Yuuri tightly. Tighter than normal, was everything okay? Yuuri hesitated a bit to hug back, a bit taken off but forgot all about it because he was in the arms of the man he loves. Victor nuzzled his face within Yuuri’s shoulder and it soon became warm and…. Wet?

“Victor?” Yuuri asked cautiously

Victor pulled away but kept a firm grip on Yuuri’s shoulders. Tears filled his crystal eyes and his face showed he was speechless. Before Yuuri could ask what was wrong Victor spoke first.

“What have you done!” He half shouted, it almost seemed angry but the way his voice choked revealed the true pain behind it. “You can’t go back now Yuuri, do you realize what you’ve done?”

“If I can’t go back then it’s a good thing, right? I’ll be able to stay with you forever, I’m happy here,” Yuuri’s innocent smile seemed to make Victor cry harder.

Victor took a second looking down at the ice to calm himself. Looking back up at Yuuri he smiled a bit. “Then, how about a couple skate?” The offer seemed so genuine, so sad, it confused Yuuri but the idea made his heart flutter, so he gratefully agreed.

Victor started by leading Yuuri a bit, then they were off together. Spins tangled together, Victor lifted Yuuri off the ice and spun with him in the air, it was magical. Yuuri wasn’t sure how long they danced like this together, but eventually he began to feel sleepy. Becoming more and more drowsy, Yuuri began to lean on Victor cradling himself in his arms. Victor pulled him close and held him tight, whispering something into Yuuri’s ear. Yuuri was just able to comprehend the words before fluttering his eyes shut and falling into darkness.

“I love you, Yuuri.”