Archive of Our Own

Yuta sits at the floor, in disbelief in what he is seeing. Legs crossed, face covered with one of his hands as another tapping the carpet. This can’t be happening. Yesterday Baek Seunghyun was teased to death by Yuta about his age, he calls him ahjussi in a way the man was chasing him all around the house. Their dinner was forgotten, and Yuta was laughing so loud at every step. Yuta also remembers when he woke up after having another best sex in his life, he saw Seunghyun at the edge of the bed, looking at some work files.

He had kissed Yuta’s forehead, telling him to go to sleep, and he drifted away. So imagine his shock when he wakes up with a small pull on his blanket, a sob akin to a child, and small legs trying to climb on the bed.

Baek Seunghyun has turned into a child.

“Ojisan, why are you-“

“Shut up for a while- you speak japanese?!,” Yuta’s eyes widened, the small Seunghyun blinked, clearly did not understand Yuta, a Japanese, speaking Korean. He leans closer, trying to inspect the child, is this his husband? Does he really not remember Yuta? Oh that’s bittersweet, but for a cute boy like this, Yuta could care less about it.

“So you speak Japanese, eh?,” He switched languages, and small Seunghyun lit up. He grins wide, hands up as if asking Yuta to carry him, and the older man laughs. This could be a dream, or if it isn’t, it could be temporary. It isn’t a bad thing either. Child Baek Seunghyun is cuter than the hunk oppa Baek Seunghyun he married to.

“This Ojisan will take care of you, so don’t cry,” Yuta smugs, and the boy giggles as he carries him up across the room. What could possibly be wrong?

____

“Hyungnim! You shrinked?!,” it was Dooshik who wailed first in disbelief. Baek Seunghyun had been adored with a checkered shirt, a short for summer, small squeaky shoes and a hat too. He looks like Conan Edogawa, but Yuta seals his mouth shut. Clearly the boy didn’t recognise Dooshik, and hid behind Yuta’s leg.

“Ojisan, he is scary,” Seunghyun had said in a small voice, and Jooha, who was washing some clams, laughed at that. “Dooshik ah, with that height he will be scared at you”

“It is hard to believe Seunghyun Hyung was once that cute child. I thought he came out from his mother's womb looking that scary”

“Did you come out of your mother's womb as a gay then,” Yuta snorted, and Dooshik laughed at that attempt of insult. “Well, I’m not sure, but I do have the looks that come with the gay package. So, you driver here from Seoul to Ilsan just to show us mini Seunghyun?”

Yuta sighs as he takes a seat at the empty restaurant. It’s in the afternoon, four hours before they open the shop. He knows Jooha and Dooshik will be up by now settling things. He also doesn’t know who he can tell these things to. Seunghyun’s man was already weirded out when Yuta called him to buy some kids clothes. He must have thought there’s some lovechild out there. How will he explain his boss have turned to a fucking kid overnight?

“I figure it will be better to let you guys know if Seunghyun is suddenly not contacting you. He turned to a fucking kid will sound stupid on phone, right Dooshik ah?”

Seunghyun was then lifted up to sit on Yuta’s lap, and the boy happily liked it before turning his body around. He rested his head on Yuta’s chest, singing something that was close to the Kamen Rider themed song. When was the last time Yuta even watched that show?

“You and Hyung are too compatible with each other for sarcasm. But still, he looks very comfortable with you, are you sure he doesn’t remember you?”

“I’m not sure either. He can’t even speak Korean”

“Will you tell Jaeil Hyung then?”

Yuta tsked. “For what? If he wanted a kid he could ask your sister-“

“Alright, I did not need a mental image of them fucking. The marriage itself is already puking me”

Yuta scoffed. He literally saw that gangnam casanova fucking his lover at one of the empty rooms. That lover now emerges from the kitchen, smiling at their antics before he takes a seat in front of Yuta. He brings with him a tray of cookies and a milk, and Yuta can see Seunghyun’s small head whipped at the smell of freshly baked sweets. He smiles, that sweet tongue habit is always there then?

“Do you want some?,” he asked in a gentle voice, fluently in a language both him and mini Seunghyun could understand. The red orbs look less scary when it's wide, nodding enthusiastically at Yuta. That makes Yuta laugh in delight, getting the cute aggression before he picks up the baked cookies, snaps it to small species, blows it cold before gently feeding the boy. Small Seunghyun was definitely greedy for sweets because he takes the cookies so fast in his mouth and munches it happily. He even twists around Yuta’s lap so he can fetch the cookie himself.

“He really likes sweets doesn’t he? That’s really Seunghyun Hyung,” Jooha cooes, his eyes sparkling seeing how happily the boy is eating the cookies he bakes. It was even cuter with how Yuta styles him up, Jooha sometimes realises how Yuta was truly from a rich family. Despite everything that happened, the noble blood in him really shows in the way he wears his clothes. Baek Seunghyun would probably not even wear that kind of outfit when he was a small child.

“How long do you think he will stay like that?”

“Hmm I’m not sure, maybe just overnight? Anyways, I promise this mini gorilla we will be looking at the beach, is it okay if I park at that spot?”

“Of course! It might be a slow day after all, its Wednesday. Come here again before you leave for Seoul, dinner is on us”

“We probably can’t drink with a kid with us,” Dooshik jokes before he bends down to pinch Seunghyun’s cheek, which the boy’s eyes shake in fear before he hides himself on Yuta’s neck. Chocolate residue from the cookies smeared his neck, and Dooshik laughed.

“The day finally comes where he is afraid of me?”

_____

“You have to put on this so that you won’t get sunburn”

“Sunburn?”

Yuta nods as he applies gently on Seunghyun’s arms. He is quite small as a child to be honest. Yuta knew how hard Seunghyun's childhood was. On the streets, protecting his sisters, fighting gangsters who scammed him, he had done so many things with such a slender arm. Did he even get to eat those sweets freely? Before Jaeil came, did Seunghyun ever have the joy of being a child?

The thought pained Yuta. It almost stings his eyes before he take a deep breath and smiles at the boy. “Yup, the sun would make your skin sting if you do not wear this. You can be in pain”

“Pain?,” he repeats Yuta’s last word, but somehow nods as if he understands Yuta clearly. One thing for sure, Seunghyun is smart. Street smart perhaps. He wonders if they have met when they were children. Will he even be friends with Shiraishi Kojiro back then? Will he, a more book smart person, be in awe at how Seunghyun is so mature for his age? If Jaeil had come then and taken him away, would Yuta cry and beg for Seunghyun not to go?

What a foolish thought, he thinks. Their paths couldn’t cross no matter how it is. Yuta was from a noble family. He was a son of a noble man. There was no chance of him meeting a child beggar on the street, let alone one who fights for money. Yet, it remained a bittersweet of what ifs that could happen. “Yes, so don’t be in pain okay?,” he reminds the boy, hand cupping those cheeks that Dooshik pinched once. Oddly, little version Seunghyun seems to like it as he grins widely from the affection. Yuta grins back, and slips in a prayer in his heart.

For the past you, I hope you are not in pain too much. Just wait a little longer, we will for sure meet under every circumstance, okay?

“Come, lets go to the water!,” Yuta says enthusiastically before lifting Seunghyun up into his arms, in which the boy shrieks in happiness as he flails his hand. In everyone's view, he probably looks like a young father with his son, and Yuta wouldn’t mind admitting that. How could he say the truth that his husband shrinks and becomes a child suddenly? Not that anyone has come to disrupt their peace as Yuta splashes water on the boy, their giggles break into the thin air. The sands are between their toes, but none of them care much as Yuta chases him at the shore.

The sun cuts to their vision, the breeze flows to their clothes as Yuta finally manages to catch up on Seunghyun and lift him to the air. The boy shrieks in his own laughter as Yuta spins him around, before he hugs him tightly before the waves splashes on his calf. The young Seunghyun likes sweets, loves to laugh, runs fast despite the wet sand around them, and adores the attention he receives from Yuta.

“Ojisan again!”

“Again? Ah ojisan is going to break his back,” Yuta teases before he spins them again between the waves, his pants half soaked by now. Seunghyun’s arms flail around as Yuta lifts him up and down to the air. Sometimes he tries to put the lighter boy in the water, and small Seunghyun will shriek in joy as he tries not to wet his feet. Their laughter and shrieking were so loud, that when Jooha leaves the restaurant for fresh air for a while, he instantly sees Yuta and the small Seunghyun playing at the beach.

“Time does heal people right,” Dooshik’s voice suddenly booms beside Jooha, and the older one smiles before he rests his head on Dooshik’s shoulder.

“Despite whatever Seunghyun Hyung is now, he really does love him. Love does erode every shape of you, I guess they made those love in a shape of each other,” Jooha concludes, his eyes warm at the sight of Yuta laughing so wide his eyes are closed. The blush apparent on his cheeks, his grey ash hair plays with the gentle breeze of summer.

Yuta is happy, that is what matters the most.

_____

They have a few hours left before the dinner with Jooha and Dooshik, so Yuta drives them to the nearest flea market. Seunghyun is now dressed in new clothes, a simple tee with a bunny caricature on its front, a green short that paired with his new green shoes too, and the hat Yuta had bought at the beach stall to prevent sun. He is very much one apple tall now, and Yuta has to walk slowly to make sure he catches up. The flea market is not busy today, but still the sight of a handsome man and an adorable boy did attract the ahjummas around.

“Aigoo, what is your name eh?”

Seunghyun hides behind Yuta's legs, and the latter laughs before he picks up the boy to be in his arms. The ladies cooes, not sure if it was because of Yuta or Seunghyun, but Yuta entertained them a lot. “His name is Baek Seunghyun,” he answers, and the ladies cooes.

“He must have followed his mother genes so much, he looks nothing like you, young man”

Yuta scoffed internally. Of course they don’t. That was originally his husband. “I guess so, he is quite shy too,” he adds, and Seunghyun fidgets in his arms as the ladies try to pinch his cheek. That cheek certainly has its own fan. His small fist grips on Yuta’s collar, whimpers hushed with his lips digging onto Yuta’s shirt. The ladies laugh at the act, but they do step back before continuing chatting at how cute Seunghyun is.

By the time he is halfway exploring the flea market, Seunghyun has his pockets filled with chocolates, his hat has some adorable stickers given by the mothers selling stationery, and in his hand there's a lolipop at a shape of bunny. Apparently, Seunghyun had jumped in Yuta’s arm just for it. The old man who is selling it eventually gave it to him for free seeing how it reminds of his own grandson. Normally Yuta would have stopped a child from having too much sweets, but logically it could be temporary, so what's the problem of having the child drowned in sweets?

“But not alcohol, you will drink that like water when you get older,” Yuta says as he wipes the sweat on Seunghyun’s face. It is a hot day after all, should they head back to the restaurant? The boy also looked like he was ready to fall asleep with the unfinished lollipop on his hand too.

“Tsk, kids these days, married young and don’t know how to take care of their own child,” a gruff voice suddenly stops Yuta from adjusting Seunghyun’s shoes. He turns around, and he sees a drunk man, his belly spilled out from his pants and he is staring at Yuta. Demeaning and rude. Yuta frowns, what does this drunkard have issue with him now?

“A pretty face like you raising that shit? You look better as a prostitute,” he spits out, and some people are looking at them now. The soju bottle on his hand is half empty, and Yuta can sense that’s not his first bottle. He smells bad too, has he been in this state for a long time? Why don’t the market people just kick him out. He decides to ignore him and hastily lift up Seunghyun in his arm, it is best to just leave that man alone.

“How much is that ass boy! Were you the ones who cums pearl too?”

Yuta stops dead in his tracks. “How does-,” he says beneath his breath as he looks back again slowly, frowning and glaring at the man. The drunk man cackles, as if he finds something funny. “There used to be a boy who took everyone's dick and cums pearl! They said he had a pretty face, and suddenly the clam shop burned! I haven’t got my fill on that ass, I should have seen it myself, that fucker Pilwon lied to me!”

So he knows it from that dead man. He had never seen Jooha then. But why do those rumours still live till today? It has been years, everyone who knows is either dead, in jail, or those that live on life closing that chapter. Seunghyun, Jaeil, Dooshik and Jooha. That’s it. He held Seunghyun tight before he took a deep breath.

“Ojisan is going to put you down now, boy”

Seunghyun stares at him, eyes wide as he shooks in fear. Yet, Yuta smiles at him warmingly before he kisses his forehead. “It's okay, Ojisan is just there, that bad guy needs to be punished okay?,” he assures him before he puts down Seunghyun, and looked around. One of the mothers that gave them stickers come forward, and Yuta smiles.

“Can you hold him for a while, Noona? Or bring him to your shop? I will come back once I’m done with the man”

“Are you sure? But he is-“

“It’s okay. I can handle him, and Seunghyun?,” he cups the boy’s face gently as he assures him once again.

“Don’t go anywhere until I come to get you, okay?”

It took some seconds before Seunghyun nodded timidly, and his heart fluttered. He remembered Seunghyun used to say that to him ten years ago too. He will have basked in the memory but the man is still spewing shit of ass and pearls, and Yuta has to shut him up before everyone knows about the past. Jooha and Dooshik are already happy here, he cannot let that be jeopardised. So when Seunghyun is carried away, with the boy still looking at Yuta with pleading eyes, Yuta turns to the man again. He glances at the fish stall beside him, the knife sharp and glistening with blood. It will be enough to kill him, but he knows he cannot kill that man in broad daylight.

So he picked the safer option; dry pollack. Heavy and thick enough to be a weapon. He folds his sleeves, picks up the pollack before stepping forward. “What depraved porn have you watched that a man can cum pearls?”

“You do not believe me? I’m telling you it’s real! Or are you hiding it for yourself?,” he provokes, and Yuta smiles.

“Come try it by yourself then”

“What?”

“Come here and taste my dick, or-,” he ran to the man with the pollack in his hand, and before the drunkard got to understand what’s happening, Yuta had jumped in front of him.

“-I’ll fucking show this into your ass you won’t get to shit forever!”

_______

“When you called me here, I thought you had killed Hyungnim,” Zen said as he inspected the unconscious body. Battered, bleeding at his mouth, nose and head. A dried pollack near him, with some human remains of flesh and blood stuck on it. He then turns to Yuta, who is clean with no cuts at all. He had received instructions to bring a medical aid kit too. Turns out it wasn’t for Yuta, it was for this man who smells like alcohol.

“Well, I couldn’t kill a kid frankly,” Yuta takes a sip of his water, his throat harsh from the screaming and cursing he did before. The man was drunk enough that he cannot stop the assault that keeps coming. Even more when Yuta was cursing in Japanese too. The crowd simply just watched, until Yuta's final blow which was kicking him spot on his dick. That will definitely make him have the hardest time to pee for the rest of his life.

“A kid?,” Zen asked, eyes indifferent but curious too. Yuta shrugs before he taps Zen’s shoulder.

“Clean him up, and also..the loose strings of Pilwon. I think there are some rumours around about it again, look into it and just shut them all up”

“Okay, do you need a lift back to Seoul?”

“No, it’s okay. I have some things to do here. Well then, bye and good luck with that”

Yuta just walked away, and Zen stared at his back long enough before he scoffed. Perhaps a little smile on his thin lips. “Fighting with no cuts around, has he turned to Baek Seunghyun or what?”

Yuta certainly didn’t hear that, as he jogs his way to where Seunghyun is waiting. The stationary shop must be close around. There are people staring at him, probably surprised the pretty man with a boy was able to fight a drunk man twice his size with just a dried pollack fish. Yuta ignores them as he fasten his pace, and when he finally reaches it, he slams open the door and frantically searching for Seunghyun.

“Seunghyun-“

“Ojisan!,” a small voice yelled, and he could see Seunghyun emerging between the stacks of books around. Was he reading? He rushed to the boy, and before Yuta could pull him into a hug, the boy beats into him as he leapt into Yuta’s arm. Yuta almost stumbled to the back as he laughed at how excited Seunghyun was. “See, I told you I will come and get you, I don’t make someone wait for ten years,” he says the last part in Korean, a sting in his chest blooms as he says that.

Has the resentment turned to love? Had he not had to wait for ten years, would he have been happy with Seunghyun now? Could he leap into this man’s arm like a child at their reunion? Yuta closes his eyes as he hugs him tight, his hand supporting Seunghyun’s head, the soft hair brushed against his slender fingers. People tend to say not to dwell on the past, but perhaps Yuta had to dwell on it. To remind himself that those ten years have only been a yearning laced with loathe. He had vowed revenge while counting days to meet Seunghyun again. He had plotted bloods and rage, while also dancing in what ifs of memories.

“Not you pulling my heartstrings even at this age, Shiraishi san,” he whispered as he hid those tears threatening to flow. The boy now smells like baby powder, contrast to what he will be using when he grows to be an adult. It was as if this small Seunghyun was telling him how it had been if their lives were normal. Not the thugs at the fish markets surrounding him. No burden of being left with debt and caring for his sisters. Not taken by Jaeil to be his apprentice. Just a boy who enjoys sweets, and how he loves Kamen Rider.

Normalcy, Yuta realises, is love and a blessing too.

____

“I can’t believe rumours can spread here too,” Jooha is somehow unbothered, though Dooshik is seething. He had asked Zen to let him meet the man too, and safe to say the drunk man shuts forever, Yuta thinks. The latter hums, busy separating the prawn skin for Seunghyun who is colouring something on a book. The lady at the stationary store had given one for Seunghyun, seeing how invested he is in the Kamen Riders character.

“You have to be careful, who knows when one of Pilwon lackeys knows about it, and come here to wreck chaos. Glad enough that man is drunk”

“Well I have you and Dooshik ah to beat them, I can beat them too,” Jooha jokes as he grills more seafood on the set. The smells waft around, and small Seunghyun still is not interested with the food in front of him. Still, he opens his mouth when Yuta feeds him, eyes lit up at how good it was before he continues colouring it.

“Still, it’s dangerous, fighting at a flea market is not a good thing too”

“Well, Hyungnim did it before,” Dooshik says as he stirs the spicy soup. Yuta rested his head on his palm which was supported by his elbow, thinking of something.

“Seunghyun,” he called for the boy, and instantly he shot up to look at Yuta with a wide grin. Ah, he really has a cuteness aggression for a small boy.

“What do you want to do when you are older later?,” he asks in perfect Japanese, and the boy looks up, thinking hard as if it's very important now. Jooha and Dooshik laughed at the antic, it’s a sight they will never see from the adult Seunghyun. Might as well take it all in.

“Kamen Rider!,” he yells enthusiastically, and Yuta sighs but with a hint of warmth. Of course a boy his age will want to be a superhero he sees on the television. Yuta brushes his hair back, and the boy giggles at the affection. “Of course you still want to fight bad guys, don’t you?,” Yuta says, and he nods as if that is the most sure thing he will do later on.

“But if there’s no more bad guys, what will you want to do then? There must be something more you want to do,” Yuta tries again, this time in a gentle manner that makes Seunghyun think hard again. He has taken a position to put his fingers on chin now, and Dooshik has taken the chance to take pictures of it.

“Can I protect Ojisan then?,” he says in a small voice, and Yuta froze. It was in Japanese, so there’s no way Jooha and Dooshik would understand, yet the restaurant still fell silent with Seunghyun’s voice. Perhaps because he sounded like he was pleading to Yuta, as if hoping that Yuta will let him do it. A child never lies, even when it is in a dream. “Ojisan is strong, but I can be strong too, so we can fight bad people together! But if there’s no more bad people, then..”

“Then?,” Yuta could feel he is choking in his own words. Has he always been so easy to cry at honesty? Especially when it comes in the form of a child who doesn’t understand the term thunder or why Sun is bad for the skin.

“Then..I just want to stay with Ojisan forever”

And that’s where Yuta knows, no matter if it's ten years from now, before or present, he will eventually be with Seunghyun. He let out a chuckle, but a soft sob escaped his lips before he could stop it. Seunghyun’s eyes are wide, thinking he did something wrong with Jooha frantically asking him if he’s okay and Dooshik pulling tissues for Yuta. “Ojisan?,” Seunghyun sounded like he wanted to cry, but Yuta's wide smile with the tears flowing down his cheeks made him confused too.

“Ah, you really should stay small, the adult you only knows how to do stupid jokes,” Yuta chokes out his words before pulling Seunghyun onto his lap again.

“Well, is that a promise?,” he pulls up his pinky finger, and Seunghyun stares at it before he coils his own to Yuta’s.

“Promise!”

_____

Yuta thought he would be sleepy by now, but turns out small Seunghyun still had some fighting spirit on him to drag Yuta to the beach again. It is already ten in the night, the roads are empty and just like Jooha said, it is a slow day. Nevertheless, he brings himself to the beach with small hands in his big ones. It is odd, he never thinks there will be a time where Seunghyun’s hand feels smaller than his. “Ojisan! Look!,” Seunghyun shrieks as he points his finger to the sky.

Stars. It was not a cloudy night with polluted air, and the stars filled every dark landscape around. The moon is extra brighter and bigger tonight too, and it was a colder breeze than the one in the morning. Yuta smiles before he leads Seunghyun to take a seat on the sand, taking in the beautiful night together. “Do you think we will see a shooting star, Seunghyun?”

“Shooting star?”

“Yup. Sometimes, when a meteor passes through the earth's atmosphere, it burns itself and you can see the strikes of fires it carries from afar. That is the shooting star. And when you do, you have to make a wish. It will be granted when you do so,” he explains, mimicking with his one hand balled to a fist as he made a small whoosh sound on how a meteor passed the earth’s sky. Seunghyun looked very amazed with the science discovery, and Yuta feels proud for himself.

“Shin Jaeil won’t teach you this shit right?,” he says in Korean, and the boy is just perplexed at the sudden switch of language. Yuta just laughed at the reaction before he looked back to the skies. It is pretty, when has it been the last time he sees such a pretty night sky? The Seoul air is too polluted to even see the airplanes around, so it is a wonder to see so many here.

“Oh! Shooting star!,” Seunghyun suddenly jumps to his feet, and Yuta catches the white strike from afar. He smiles before he brings his hand together, and reckons Seunghyun to follow the same. “Faster, make a wish!,” he encouraged him, and the boy instantly copied him as he closed his eyes. To his oblivion, Yuta remains with his eyes opened, to see how hard the focused face is in doing his wish. He smiles to himself, before wishing one for the stars too.

Grow back faster, so we can meet again, Baek Seunghyun. After a few seconds, when the shooting star is already gone, Yuta opens his eyes to see Seunghyun frantically looking around. “What is it?,” he asked softly. “If there are more shooting stars, can I wish for more of the same thing?”

“Hmm, sure. But why would you want to wish for the same thing?”

“Ojisan, I wish to be stronger and taller so I can protect you, so I will wish again and again until it comes true!” Yuta smiles at that. Of course you will, Seunghyun. Grow up, be stronger and taller, and when the times arrive, come and see me, okay?

“I will wait for that, Seunghyun san. Work hard so your wish comes true, okay? Ojisan won’t go anywhere,” he ruffles his hair, and Seunghyun nods as if he is sure he will definitely make the wish happen. As he is so sure, Yuta thinks he probably set this as his main goal in life. Well, not that he wants to burst the bubble too. “Come, let’s go home. To grow taller and stronger, you need enough sleep,” Yuta says to bait the boy, and even though he looks like he disagrees with it, he still takes Yuta’s hand to walk towards the car.

Ah, what a long day they had.

___

“Ojisan,” Seunghyun calls in his dazed condition, just as Yuta pulls the blanket to cover them both. The room is dim, and Seunghyun is in bunny pajamas too. Is that his adult taste too? “Hmm? Is it too hot?,” he asks, worried as he tries to adjust the blanket more.

“I’m so happy today, thank you,” he says in a shy voice, and Yuta smiles filled with warmth at that. “Let’s go to the beach again when we have time,” Yuta says, lovingly brushing his cheek. If he was raised with love, will the boy take a different route in his life? Would he lead a gentle and calm life, meet caring people, and not have to worry for tomorrow?

“Will you be here when I wake up later?,” he asks, voice slurry as he holds Yuta’s finger in his fist. Yuta nods as he kisses his forehead. “I don’t leave people easily, Seunghyun,” he jokes, laced with a promise. Seunghyun nods, and soon, the boy is drifting to Neverland already. Yuta watches him sleeping peacefully, and soon, his eyes follow suit. Counting stars and hours until he meets Seunghyun again.

___

Yuta hears noises downstairs. He opened his eyes, the sun shining, just a peek from the horizon. The left side of the bed is empty, and Yuta’s heart drops. He pushes the blanket away, wearing his slippers before he rushes outside the room. “Seunghyun!,” he yells frantically, skipping the stairs as he calls for him again.

“Seunghyun!,” he reached down, and instantly met with a grown Seunghyun’s half naked torso with a phone in his ears. The latter turned to see Yuta’s eyes, and then his eyes went wide. “Wait Dooshik ah, I will call you back-”

“You, you were not at the bed,” Yuta falls to his knees, his chest restricted as tears flow down his cheeks. What is this despair mixed with relief feeling? Why does he feel crushed yet breathing that Seunghyun has turned back to normal. “Shit, you could have woke me up,” he cried more, and before he knew it, Seunghyun pulled him into a deep hug. The strong arms coils around him, his one hand rest against the back of Yuta’s head as his husband sobs more.

“I’m sorry. I should have, you looked tired so I let you sleep more,” he whispers gently, and Yuta cries more. “What’s the point of sleeping together if we do not wake up together then,” he sobs, and somehow, his thoughts come rushing in. If yesterday was a dream for Yuta, was it a dream for the past Seunghyun too? Did he wake up today sad that the days of the beach ended, and he could no longer taste the sweets he gets for free or sing Kamen Rider themed songs so freely? Did he resent Yuta for not being there when he wakes up later?

“Oh,you will be sad again,” he chokes again, and the tears did not stop as Yuta rested his forehead on Seunghyun’s chest. “Me? Why would I be sad?,” his husband asked, but his tone didn’t mean for it to be prying. Yuta did not answer, he hugs him back, tight as if he is breathing Seunghyun in. He then looked up to Seunghyun, with tears and snot that somehow looks adorable to his husband. Those gentle gazes meeting Yuta with love and worry.

“You must have had a hard childhood, didn’t you?”

“Well, I’m not born a young master like someone, but I’m rich enough now to pamper you everyday, Yuta ya. Why did you ask, my love?,” he cups Yuta’s face, wipes those tears away as he speaks softly. What has been his husband's misery today to emit such tears from his beautiful eyes? “Thank you for growing up healthy”

Seunghyun froze. No one has ever said that to him, not even Jaeil despite seeing him as a brother. Yet here, under the morning light,Yuta had said something that struck right to his chest. The man’s hand reached to his own face too, fondling his full cheek with love. “Thank you, for being stronger and taller, for protecting me all these times. Thank you, for making those wishes come true”

And before Seunghyun knows, he finds himself teary eyed as he buries himself on Yuta’s palm. It was cold, despite just waking up, yet his hands are always soft. He grips on his wrist softly, pushing into his palm more as if he seeks for Yuta’s whole being. “And you, thank you for being alive and coming back to my life. Thank you for not leaving me alone in this world, Yuta-ya”

The sun illuminates the whole house, and Tora patters are somewhere in the house. Yet Seunghyun and Yuta remain on the floor in the same spot, basking every minute of their own time with each other. “Haven’t I told you? I don’t leave people easily, Seunghyun” Seunghyun smiles on Yuta’s lips before he seals it with a kiss. “I know,that is why I love you so much”

______

“What was so urgent that he ended the call?,” Dooshik says before he throws his phone away. He was sending Seunghyun some pictures, and the man woke up like a madman asking where he got them. Of course he won’t remember. But he will definitely blackmail Seunghyun with those photos of him getting chocolate smeared and the thinking position he pulled yesterday for Yuta.

“It’s not fun anymore that he is a big gorilla now,” Dooshik scoffed.