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Kenma had dealt with hate and criticism before, it came with being a streamer. It came with posting online. It came with just existing on the internet. He could usually handle it but today wasn't one of those days. The comments just kept coming.
> ur so fucking annoying
> quit posting
> why do ppl even watch u lol
He stared blankly at the screen. There were hundreds of them, maybe even thousands. He knew he shouldn't read them, everyone always said that. Don't read the comments, don't let hate get to you. But it felt impossible. His eyes filled with water and his chest felt tight as he breathed.
His hands trembled over the keyboard as one of his videos silently played in the background. He tried to use logic to calm down. Logically, he knew these were strangers. He didn't know them and they didn't know him. Their opinions shouldn't matter. But unfortunately, emotions weren't logical.
His thoughts blurred together. Everything felt too loud, it felt like too much. He scratched the back of his hand obsessively as his breathing became shallow. Kenma curled into himself on his gaming chair. He didn't notice the footsteps in the background. He didn't even notice his front door opening.
"Kenma?" Kuroo shouted with no response.
"Kenma?" He repeated. He walked towards Kenma's gaming and filming room. He quietly opened the door and saw Kenma sitting at his desk. He rested his hand on Kenma's shoulder and the bleached-blond boy flinched. "Oh! Sorry." Kuroo whispered. There was a small pause before Kuroo crouched to look Kenma in the eyes. "What's wrong?" Kenma huffed and didn't respond. Kuroo looked at the computer screen. It was still on and every hate comment was still displayed.
His expression darkened and he clenched his jaw in frustration. "Oh." Kenma swallowed and rubbed his eyes with the ends of his sleeves. "I know it's stupid Kuroo." He huffed. Kuroo furrowed his eyebrows. "No." "It's just random people online." He continued. "Kenma." Kuroo tried to get his attention. "I shouldn't care." Kuroo took a deep breath and softened his voice. "It's not stupid. You're allowed to be upset when people are rude, even if you don t know them."
Kenma finally look at Kuroo's face and broke down in tears. He hated crying, absolutely hated it. But right now, everything hurt. The exhaustion and the pressure from streaming took a toll on him and now he couldn't stop sobbing. And suddenly, he felt small, which Kuroo noticed immediately. They had been friends for years and could read the other like a book.
The way Kenma's posture changed, how he was gently rocking himself, how he instinctively reached for comfort. He held Kenma's hand and intertwined their fingers together. "Hey," He whispered. "I got you." Kenma hiccuped and mumbled. "Don' wanna..."
Kuroo raised an eyebrow. "Don't wanna what?" Kenma sniffled. "Don' wanna big." His words were slurred and quieter than usual. Kuroo's heart squeezed. He fully understood. Kenma didn't often regress from stress but when he did, he knew the thing Kenma needed most was safety.
"Okay." Kuroo said without judgement. "That's okay." Kenma looked up hesitantly and Kuroo smiled. Kuroo quietly turned off the desktop computer and saw the tension ease out of Kenma's shoulders as he watched the screen go black. "Gone?" Kenma asked. "Gone." Kuroo confirmed. After a brief pause, Kenma held his arms out and Kuroo let out a little chuckle. Not because it was silly, but because it was adorable.
He picked Kenma up and set him on his hip. He carried him to their bedroom and set him down on their bed. Kuroo gave Kenma his plush cat, KitKat, and Kenma took him immediately. "KitKat..." He whispered and played with the stuffie's paws. Kuroo laid beside Kenma and tucked them both under the blankets. The silence in the room wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, just calm.
Eventually, Kenma's tiny voice broke the silence. "Am I bad?" Kuroo's stomach dropped. "No, no!" He exclaimed and looked down at the other man. "Why would you say that?" Kenma hesitated but spoke again. "The comments..." Kuroo rested a hand on Kenma's head and calmly explained. "People on the internet can be mean for no reason." But-" Kenma tried to interrupt but Kuroo shushed him. "That doesn't mean that you're bad." Kenma Looked down at KitKat and back up at Kuroo. He took that as a cue to speak again.
"They don't know the Kenma who stays up late helping friends and works ridiculously hard to give fans good content." Kenma stayed silent. "They don't know you. You're my best friend."He ran his fingers through Kenma's tangled hair and a tear ran down Kenma's cheek. For a moment, Kenma was silent and still. He scooted closer to Kuroo until his forehead rested against Kuroo's shoulder. Kuroo wrapped his arm around him.
Eventually, Kenma's breathing slowed down. The panic and the hurt from the comments faded, not completely but enough to allow him to rest. As Kenma drifted off to sleep, Kuroo pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I've got you. You're okay." Kenma answered with a sleepy mumble and for the first time all day, he felt safe.