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“Padfoot, stop being such a miserable, moping bastard and just tell him!” James hissed. Sirius stared longingly across the Common Room at Remus, who was utterly oblivious because of the good-looking fourth year boy attached to his lips.
Sirius scowled at James. “Right now, while he’s playing tonsil tennis with that slutty fourth year?’
“Why not?”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Excuse me Moony, sorry to interrupt your snogging session, but I happen to have unrequited feelings for you, so d‘you think you could prise yourself away from that hussy and come upstairs for a shag? I don’t think so, Prongs.”
“Well,” said James, scratching his head, “perhaps not in those exact words.”