Chapter Text
Hephaestion: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being an idiot. Alistair uses that line like a fucking jump rope.
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Melina: “oH yOu’Re sO aDdIcTeD tO sUgAr, YoU nEeD tO StOp” .. Are flowers addicted to the sun? THIS IS MY FUEL!
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Hyacinthus: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.
Alistair: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Chyrseis: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Apollo: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Evelyn: My moral code, is that you?
Hyacinthus:
Hyacinthus: I was just gonna show you this cool box I found but are you guys okay?
(No. None of them are okay. Including you.)
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Asclepius: Isn’t it weird that people pay money to see other people?
Evangelos: Ship tickets?
Apollo: Music show tickets?
Hieronymus: Theatre tickets?
Asclepius: I was talking about glasses.
(Evangelos: Aren’t you the doctor here?
Asclepius: Yes, and naturally I would never charge for that sort of thing. But you know who does?
All: The WG.
Evangelos: Apóvrasma. (Scum/Απόβρασμα)
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Apollo: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Eros: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Sybil: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Icarus: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Hephaestion: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Styx: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Sybil: .. I did. I broke it.
Styx: No. No, you didn't. Evangelos?
Evangelos: Don't look at me. Look at Scylla.
Scylla: What?! I didn't break it.
Evangelos: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Scylla: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
Evangelos: Suspicious.
Scylla: No, it's not!
Cassandra: If it matters, probably not, but Chryseis was the last one to use it.
Chryseis: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Cassandra: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Chryseis: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cassandra!
Sybil: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Styx.
Styx: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Evangelos: Styx.. Ariadne's been awfully quiet.
Ariadne: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Styx, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it.
Styx: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a Sea King head on a stick.
Styx:
Styx: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
(Hyacinthus: Do we even.. use the coffee machine?
Apollo: No, really I think it just sits there for decoration.
Hyacinthus: Then why..?
Damian: ✨ Drama! ✨)
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Ariadne: Ooh, somebody has a crush
Alistair: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Heph I just think he’s cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him.
*Later that night*
Alistair, very much awake: Uh oh.
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Evelyn: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Styx: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Elven: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Calliope: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil.
Damian: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand, and I got a really bad burn.
Cadmus:
Cadmus: I have emotional (and physical) scars.
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Adonis: Just be yourself.
Scylla: 'Be myself'? Adonis, I have one day to win Eros over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Chryseis: Couple weeks.
Ariadne: Six months.
Britomartis: Jury’s still out.
Scylla: See, Drivas?
Scylla: ‘Be myself’. What kind of garbage advice is that?
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Styx: Time for plan G.
Elven: Don’t you mean plan B?
Damian: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. We had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Cadmus: What about plan D?
Styx: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Evelyn: What about plan E?
Damian: We’re hoping not to use it. Cadmus “dies” in plan E.
Cadmus: I like plan E.
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Hyacinthus: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Apollo: *flustered* I—
Evangelos, butting into the conversation: Arachne is perfect, thanks for asking.
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Britomartis: *Posts a super low-quality image to the Important Acropolis people group chat*
Scylla: If I had a berri for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 berri
Cassandra: If I had a berri for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to commission Icarus to make a cannon to fire at you
Adonis: Actually I did the math, Scylla would have 225 berri, not 15 berri.
Scylla: Fam I’m right here..
Icarus: If I had a berri, I would buy a chicken kebab :)
Adonis: While you’re there could you buy me milk please?
Icarus: Sorry I only have a berri
Adonis: :(
Eros: Hey I just realized Adonis’ math is right, but Scylla would have 22 500 berri because it's a berri for every pixel
Icarus: If I had 22 500 berri I would buy a chicken kebab and milk
Arachne: You can buy anything you want with 22 500 berri
Eros: Yeah and he wants a chicken kebab and milk
Evangelos: Milk to what
Adonis: Directly to the forehead
Eros: Great chat everyone
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Damian: If you were a regular civilian and you got arrested what would be the charges?
Cadmus: Theft.
Cassiel: Disturbing the peace.
Elven: Aggravated assault.
Evelyn: Arson.
Styx: All of the above. In that order.
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Cassandra: Last night I found out Sybil is a sleep talker.
Eros: Oh, really?
Cassandra: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
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Cadmus: How would you like your pancakes?
Evelyn: Plain.
Damian: With sprinkles!
Styx: Chocolate chips.
Elven: Potatoes.
*Evelyn, Damian, and Styx look at Elven*
Elven: What? They're good.