Work Text:
Herta puppet #68 is organizing Madam Herta’s spectacular collection of beautiful hats when she receives an urgent comm from the illustrious Madam Herta herself: Quick– Report to the kitchen.
Immediately, she sets down her hat and scurries down the numerous flights of stairs in Madam Herta’s stunning residence. When she finally reaches the end of the stairs, she scuttles off to the kitchen, where, according to her sensory input, Madam Herta is baking some delicious goods.
There was once a period of time when her sensory signals didn’t properly transmit to her brain, and Madam Herta herself had sat the puppet down, flipped two switches, and then got up and left. Ah, what an incredible moment that was! The puppet could feel her wires overheating upon witnessing Madam Herta’s otherworldly nonchalance. To be cared for by the peerless Genius Society Member #83 herself…
Back to the task at hand.
The moment she enters the kitchen, she’s greeted by the sight of dozens of other Herta puppets, the mysterious scientist she remembers to be Ruan Mei, and… the dazzling, brilliant Madam Herta herself!
“I don’t need your help,” the glamorous Madam Herta is saying. “I think these cookies will turn out perfect, just like me~”
The puppet fully agrees with Madam Herta. She’s certain that any creation of Madam Herta’s is bound to exceed any mortal expectations.
(The puppet has seen Madam Herta’s cooking before, by the way. Those who say it’s “shockingly disastrous” and a “smoking mess” are simply haters.)
“Herta, you substituted shredded Ambergris Cheese for flour.”
“So? It was a creative substitution that will undoubtedly improve this recipe.”
The puppet thoroughly approves. From just how pretty her own design is, she knows Madam Herta is a creative genius, and a charitable one, too. After all, Madam Herta herself is so stunningly beautiful that the Herta puppet is overwhelmingly grateful to share just the tiniest sliver of Madam Herta’s true glory.
“You can’t substitute cheese, let alone Ambergris Cheese, for flour. And is that a Rotting Fruit of the Alien Tree?”
“Ruan Mei, it’s all part of the Herta Scientific Process! Just let me cook for once.”
“I have let you cook too many times.”
“Ahem– puppets! Retrieve some sugar.”
Herta puppet #68 immediately runs to the expansive cabinet filled with Madam Herta’s baking ingredients, including the sugar. She and three other puppets lift the heavy bag of sugar and bring it over to Madam Herta.
Madam Herta briefly spares them a mesmerizing glance of deep violet and takes the sugar from them. The puppet immediately backs off. Madam Herta has already looked at her today! That means she has to keep a very respectful distance from her master now since she’s already been blessed with so much affection.
“Herta, I say this as your friend and in your own best interest. Why don’t we start a new batch of cookies? Often, quality comes from simplicity. I can send this batter to my residence to feed to some of my creations. It will be interesting to see how they react.”
“I–” Madam Herta abruptly stops herself and lets out a sigh. “Fine, then. Whatever makes you happy. Puppets, take it to the dock. This is to be shipped to Ruan Mei’s residence.”
Herta puppet #68 is about to take the bowl, but several other puppets take it instead and quickly make their way out of the kitchen. Now, Madam Herta turns to look at Ruan Mei. “How do you want to do it then?”
“We need a mixing bowl, some real flour, butter, eggs…”
As Ruan Mei lists off ingredients, various Herta puppets scramble to retrieve them. Herta puppet #68 tasks herself with grabbing the jar of chocolate chips from one of the higher shelves. She has to climb onto the back of Herta puppets #70 and #1024 in order to reach the jar. Once she grabs the jar, she climbs off of the other two puppets and presents it to Madam Herta. Madam Herta takes it, and as she does, she spares the Herta puppet yet another stunning glance!
Really, Herta puppet #68 feels that she must be so blessed today to have received a glance from Madam Herta not just once, but twice.
By the time she steps back into position, Madam Herta and Ruan Mei have already started baking. They bicker over amounts and stirring motions, and it makes the puppet fully realize just how much Madam Herta likes this Ruan Mei. After all, the Madam Herta herself wouldn’t just let any old Genius Society member have their way and not hers. She certainly wouldn’t tolerate some impertinent fool constantly disagreeing with her. Ruan Mei must be something special.
After some time, Ruan Mei places the tray of cookies into Madam Herta’s oven. She shuts the lid and sets the oven to 375 degrees.
“We’ll see how this simple recipe of yours turns out,” Madam Herta says, watching Ruan Mei from the side.
“We will,” Ruan Mei agrees. “I enjoyed baking with you though. Your ideas are very creative and unorthodox. Perhaps next time we bake, I will implement more of them.”
“Eh? Oh, I meant– of course! I’m looking forward to these cookies. Just seven more minutes until they’re done.”
“Would you like to go outside in the meantime? The weather is very pleasant today. In fact, there is a rather unique type of arthropod that I noticed crawling on a leaf outside your residence. Perhaps we could observe it for a little while.”
“Tsk, why are you always looking at bugs? Instead of staring at a bug, you should stare at me. I am infinitely more beautiful than any of the bugs outside.” Madam Herta tosses her luscious hair very fashionably.
“I already stare at you plenty. On the other hand, I have seldom seen that kind of arthropod. I would love to take a closer look. We still have five minutes. You can join me if you wish.”
Ruan Mei turns around without a glance and exits the kitchen. Even though she is nowhere near as lovely as Madam Herta is, the puppet must admit she has a rather elegant walk.
“I’m leaving. Puppets, don’t go with me,” Madam Herta orders. “Also, notify me when the cookies are done.”
Then, Madam Herta turns around and walks out of the kitchen, her long skirt sparkling with every captivating step she takes.
In the meantime, after the Herta puppets finish watching her leave and are able to tear their eyes away from the door, they all busy themselves with cleaning the kitchen. Herta puppet #68 cleans the counter, then inspects for any leftover specks of dust. She thoroughly wipes the counter one more time with the highest grade of Madam Herta’s magical soap.
After she dries the counter, she hears the unmistakable, melodic music that always indicates that a miracle is about to occur: the sound of Madam Herta’s footsteps. Unfortunately, the music of her footsteps is distorted by the sound of Ruan Mei’s footsteps. Truly a tragedy.
However, the puppet quickly forgets that unfortunate detail when she sees the breathtakingly beautiful Madam Herta appear in the doorway. Her deep purple gaze scans the room that everyone so dutifully cleaned, her flowing hair perfectly framing her features.
However, she doesn’t say anything, depriving the puppets of the melody of her voice. She merely walks over to the oven, Ruan Mei walking close behind.
Just as Madam Herta kneels to get a better look at the cookies in the oven, a cheerful ding! sounds from the oven.
“They’re ready,” Ruan Mei says.
Madam Herta steps to the side as Ruan Mei opens the oven, and immediately, the puppet can smell the scent of something sweet, buttery and chocolatey. Ruan Mei takes the tray out and places it on the counter. From behind her, Madam Herta leans over her shoulder to peer at the cookies.
“They smell wonderful,” Madam Herta murmurs into Ruan Mei’s ear. “Perhaps you are a genius. And that’s a huge compliment coming from me, by the way.”
“I know,” Ruan Mei whispers back. “These need a few minutes to cool.”
“In that case…” Madam Herta steps away from Ruan Mei and claps her hands, grabbing the attention of all the puppets. “Puppets! You are all dismissed.”
Immediately, the Herta puppets scramble to line up in a semicircle around Madam Herta. Herta puppet #68 finds herself unfortunately squeezed between the wacky puppets #67 and #69.
“Thank you, Madam Herta!” everyone says in unison. “Madam Herta is a peerless gem! Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius! Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty!”
The puppets then all bow their heads and exit the kitchen in a single file line.
Herta puppet #68 makes sure to bookmark this experience in her memory file. After all, Madam Herta doesn’t bake with just anyone, and besides, she seemed to be in a fantastic mood.
Also, she looked at Herta puppet #68 twice! Twice!