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The ceiling of Neru’s apartment had a water stain on it that she had been staring at for the past forty minutes.
It was shaped a little like a rabbit, or maybe a duck - it looked like one of those optical illusion things where it changes depending on how you tilt your head. She’d been going back and forth on it. Rabbit. Duck. Rabbit. Duck. It was meaningless, that was for sure, but it was better than thinking about Miku again.
She rolled over onto her side on the couch and pulled her phone up to her face.
Miku : Neru!! Are you coming to Kaito’s thing saturday
Miku : Neru
Miku : Nerruuuuuu
Miku : Ok I’ll take that as a yes, see you there!! (^▽^)/
She had typed out ‘I like you’ at least six different times and deleted every single one. She had typed “I’ve liked you for a while, actually” and “hey so i know this is kind of out of nowhere” and one truly humiliating attempt that started with “so, hypothetically speaking, if someone liked someone else” which she was truly ashamed of going to such childish behavior.
Neru : yeah i’ll be there
Neru dropped the phone onto her chest and closed her eyes. The TV was still on in the background, playing some late night channel she had put on for noise. She wasn’t watching it because she was too busy being pathetic.
She had known Miku for three years. Three years! Three whole years of sitting next to each other in class, of texting about nothing, of Miku laughing at Neru’s jokes with her whole body and touching Neru’s arm when she wanted to emphasize something. Three years and Neru still couldn’t figure out how to say three words. And it’s not like she was a girlfailure or dumb, as she had a 3.8/4.0 grade and she had once given a presentation on economic theory in front of a lecture hall without any notes. Yet she still could not say “I like you” to one girl.
‘It’s not even that hard’ she thought to herself, as if that helped anything.
The TV droned on. Some infomercial had come on - it was the kind that had the overly bright studio lighting and the way too enthusiastic hosts. Neru had tuned it out entirely until a specific word cut through.
“-hypnosis!”
She opened one eye.
The screen showed a small kit in a yellow box with a few items - a little string thing, a booklet, a 5 yen coin, and some other stuff she couldn’t quite make out but it looked like some yellow and white clothes. The host had it up on a spinning display as if it were a trophy.
“The SleepStar Hypnosis Kit! Comes with everything you need to guide a willing subject into a deeply relaxed and highly suggestible state!”
Neru sat up slightly.
“With the SleepStar Hypnosis Kit, you can help your friends and loved ones break habits, relax deeply, or just have a little fun!”
‘That’s insane’ Neru thought… before she picked up her phone and looked it up.
It had an average of 4.2 stars across three different websites. She thought it was just a gimmick, but humored herself by checking the reviews.
‘I got my roommate to stop leaving dishes in the sink. 10/10’
‘it worked on my boyfriend. he bawked like a chicken for a full minute. and he didn’t even remember it. i was crying laughin
‘okay i was skeptical but my sister says it actually helped her anxiety? idk man, 4 stars’
Neru let out a short laugh through her nose. It came out more nervous than she meant it to. She put the phone face-down on the couch cushion. She stared at the ceiling again… the stain was definitely a duck.
She picked the phone back up and kept scrolling.
-|-|-|-
Saturday at Kaito’s was the usual kind of headache - too many people in too small of an apartment, music a little too loud, and someone had spilled something sticky on the kitchen floor and nobody was dealing with it. Neru had ended up in the corner of the living room with a drink she wasn’t really working towards anymore… mainly because she was busy watching Miku talk to Luka from across the room.
‘Just go talk to her’ she told herself. ‘You talk to her literally all the time. This is no different’
She made herself cross the room. Miku spotted her coming and her whole face lit up, waving with her whole arm. “Neru! Luka was just telling me about her trip to Kyoto, she saw the deer”
“It was a deer in Nara, not Kyoto” Luka corrected her, with some slight amusement.
“The deer in Nara! Here, come sit with us”
And so Neru sat, and the three of them talked, and it was easy the way it always was with Miku - that is, easy until it wasn’t. Easy until Neru caught herself looking at the way Miku was gesturing with her hands. Once she noticed Miku more intimately once, she couldn’t stop it. She felt the whole familiar weight of her unspoken feelings settle on her chest like an elephant.
Luka eventually got pulled away by someone across the room, leaving just the two of them together. Neru thought this would be her perfect opportunity to confess.
“Hey” Neru started.
“Hm?” Miku turned to look at her.
“I’ve been— there’s something I’ve kind of been meaning to—” She stopped. Miku was looking at her with this expression that was so open, so genuinely attentive, and Neru’s brain just stopped producing words.
“Are you okay?” Miku asked.
“Yeah, sorry. I was just going to say that… that… that dress is really cute”
Miku looked down at herself. “Oh! Thanks, I got it on sale actually” She smiled and looked back up. “Are you sure you’re okay? You looked like you were about to say something kind of serious”
“Nope. All good”
Miku held her gaze for just a second too long, with something unreadable on her face, and then nodded.
“Okay then. If you’re so sure”
-|-|-|-
The SleepStar Hypnosis Kit arrived four business days after the party at Kaito’s apartment.
Neru sat on her bedroom floor with the yellow box in her lap and a deeply complicated expression on her face. She had actually bought it - she had genuinely bought a hypnosis kit to confess to her crush.
‘I cannot believe myself’ she thought before opening the box.
There was a pendulum - a 5 yen coin on a thin string - a small instruction booklet, and a little card that said “YOU ARE A CERTIFIED HYPNOTIST” on it in an encouraging font. Neru looked at the card for a long moment. Beneath all that was an outfit Neru chose not to think about for the time being.
She read the booklet front to back. It was mostly just guided relaxation stuff about deep breathing and the whole classic pendulum with the coin. The idea was you got the person calm enough that they’d go along with simple suggestions without really thinking about it. The book specifically said it was not magic, it was just psychology
Neru turned the 5 yen coin over in her hand. Her plan was pretty simple - get Miku relaxed enough to follow a few suggestions and work it up into saying something. She hadn’t fully worked out the “saying something” part but she figured she’d improvise.
-|-|-|-
Miku showed up on a Thursday evening with her bag over her shoulder and her earphones still in, already talking before Neru had the door fully open.
“Okay so I have to tell you about what happened in the group chat because Kaito has completely lost it and— oh”
Neru stood in the doorway in a white button-up with a yellow tie, a pair of yellow fluffy bunny ears on a headband, and what could only be described as a bunny suit. What followed was a long, long pause.
“…hi” Neru said.
Miku’s earphones came out slowly. “Hi” Her eyes traveled up and down once. “Okay… what?!?”
“Come inside”
“No. Neru, we need to address the elephant in the room. What are you wearing?!”
“I’m a… a…hypnotist?”
Miku stared at her. Then she stepped inside and set her bag down by the door with the expression of someone trying very hard to keep a straight face. “A hypnotist… that’s— and the bunny ears are because…?”
“Because I’m a bunny hypnotist. Obviously” Neru turned around and walked back to the living room, which she had rearranged slightly. The armchair from the corner was now in the middle of the room facing the couch where Neru would be sitting. There was a small table next to it with a glass of water on it. She had also attempted to dim the lights.
Miku looked at the setup, and then looked at Neru. She pressed her lips together very firmly.
“…Okay” she said, and sat in the chair.
“Okay” Neru repeated as she sat across from her. She pulled out the 5 yen coin on its chain and held it up.
Miku watched it, then looked at Neru. “Are you going to swing that at me?”
“I’m going to swing it in front of you, yes. That’s how this works”
“…Right …Okay” Miku folded her hands in her lap and looked at the coin with a very serious expression. “I’m ready”
Neru took a breath and started swinging the coin gently, back and forth, and began reading from the booklet in her other hand, which she had to hold at a slightly awkward angle. “Okay, so, keep your eyes on the coin. You’re going to let your breathing slow down and your shoulders relax”
Miku’s eyes followed the coin. Her expression was still serious. Very serious actually. It was almost suspiciously deliberately serious.
Neru kept going, reading the relaxation prompts from the booklet in what she hoped was a calm, low voice. “You’re doing great, keep it steady, keep following the coin”
After about two minutes, Miku’s eyes had gone soft and a little unfocused and her hands fell loose in her lap.
“Okay” she said slowly as her heartbeat raced in her chest. “When I snap my fingers, you’re going to feel very relaxed, and you’re going to be open to a few simple suggestions”
She snapped. Miku blinked slowly.
‘Alright’ Neru thought. ‘Gotta test it first. The book said to test it’
“Can you… pick up my backpack by the door and put it by my desk”
Miku stood up, walked to the door, picked up Neru’s backpack, and walked it over to the desk in the corner with the calm, unhurried movement of someone operating on autopilot.
Neru’s mouth fell open slightly.
‘It worked’ she thought, with a lurch somewhere in her sternum. ‘It actually—’ she thought before another thought hit her hard. ‘Okay… what do I even do now?’
-|-|-|-
She didn’t confess that day. She wasn’t ready. She told herself she needed to test it more, which was true, and that she needed to work up to it, which was also true, and definitely not because she panicked when Miku sat back down in the chair with that soft unfocused expression and Neru’s brain had gone completely blank.
Instead, over the next two weeks, she did the following things. She had Miku come with her to the phone shop and stood in absolute stunned silence while Miku picked out a model and paid for it without blinking. Neru had reached out and took Miku’s wrist afterward to stop her when the transaction was complete, suddenly feeling guilty. “Wait, you don’t have to do tha—”
“It’s fine” Miku said, blinking a little slowly. Neru let go of her wrists, feeling a little guilty.
That guilt wasn’t permanent, as later she got Miku to bring her ice cream. Specifically, it was a strawberry cone from the place two streets over, which Miku had walked to and back from and handed over with complete calm while Neru held the door open feeling like a deeply questionable person.
‘I’ll do it next time’ she kept telling herself. ‘I’ll work up to it. Baby steps’
-|-|-|-
On a Friday afternoon she had Miku reach over and hold her hand while they were walking through the shopping arcade. She felt her whole face go numb. Miku’s hand was warm and she walked with the same easy unhurried pace as always, looking at the shop windows they passed, and Neru stared straight ahead and tried to remember how breathing worked.
“Okay, you can let go now” Neru said to call it off. Miku released her hand and tilted her head slightly, glancing at Neru.
“That was nice” Miku said. Neru’s face flushed pink and she didn’t respond.
-|-|-|-
After Neru had a particularly bad time when doing a midterm test she called for a hug. She was standing in the hallway outside the exam room with her bag hanging off one shoulder when Miku came around the corner and found her leaning against the wall.
Neru had not meant to use the coin on her in public, but she was standing there holding it because she’d been fidgeting with it
“Hey, how was the tes—“ Miku began to say before she was cut off by the coin swinging. Neru had kind of reflexively done the whole thing. In her defense, she was having a rough afternoon.
The hug was very thorough. Miku wrapped both arms around her properly and rested her chin on the top of Neru’s head. Neru stood there with her face pressed against Miku’s shoulder with a very pink dusted face.
-|-|-|-
The sleepover she asked for also had a good reason - Neru hated storms. Neru had texted Miku at 10pm when the thunder had been going for an hour and she’d already moved her blanket to the couch to have the TV on.
Neru : hey are you busy?
Miku : Nope! Why?
Neru : i just
Neru : was thinking you should come over maybe
Miku : Is everything ok?
Neru : yes
Neru : there is just
Neru : a lot of thunder
Miku : Aww :(
Miku : I’ll be there in 20
Neru had done the coin thing after Miku arrived, mostly out of embarrassment, and suggested she should stay the night because it was becoming late and the storm was not slowing down. Miku had agreed, obviously, and Neru had given her a blanket and a pillow for the other end of the couch. They both fallen asleep on their respective end of the couch as the TV became the only sound when the storm died down.
In the morning, Neru woke up to Miku already awake with her blanket tucked around her and her scrolling on her phone. When Miku looked over and saw Neru awake she gave her a simple smile. “Good morning Neru!”
“Morning” Neru said groggily.
‘I really like you’ she thought about saying. She blamed her sleepiness for her cowardice this time, though she knew that was a lie.
-|-|-|-
She knew she had to say something. She hypnotized a girl into buying her a phone and walking her home holding hands and sleeping on her couch in the middle of thunderstorms, yet she was too much of a coward to tell that same girl ‘I like you’
‘One more time’ she told herself on a Sunday afternoon with Miku sitting across from her in the armchair again. ‘I’m going to do it this time’
The coin swung. Miku’s eyes followed. Her shoulders dropped and her expression went soft as it always dod. Neru put the booklet down and took a breath.
“Miku”
“Mm?”
“I— I want you to—“ She pressed her palms to her knees. Her voice came out smaller than she intended. “I want you to come sit next to me”
Miku stood and crossed the small distance to the couch, sitting down next to Neru close enough that their knees were almost touching.
Neru looked at her. Miku’s eyes were beautiful and had a patient look. Her head was tilted slightly and her hair was down today, falling over her shoulder.
“I want to—” Neru’s voice cracked slightly. She laughed a short and embarrassed laugh. “Sorry, I… okay” She twisted the coin in her fingers. “I want you to… would you be okay… I mean, the suggestion is” She closed her eyes briefly. “Can I— I want you to kiss me!”
The room went quiet. Then Miku, leaned in, causing Neru’s heart to skip a beat. Miku pressed a small and very gentle kiss to her lips.
Neru stood very still, scared to move in case it broke the spell. Miku pulled back, but only slightly. Her face was still right there, close enough that Neru could see each of her eyelashes, and her expression wasn’t soft and unfocused anymore.
“Neru…” Miku said softly into her ear. “I haven’t been hypnotized. Not even once” she said with a small giggle.
Neru took a few moments to process what Miku had just said. Once she did, she made a humiliating strangled high-pitched noise and tried to pull back but she was already against the couch armrest, so she couldn’t. Her face had gone so hot she was briefly concerned about her own health. “You— What?!? Since when?“ Her voice had gone up three octaves. “The phone! You bought me a phone!”
“I wanted to get you a new phone” Miku said with a smile on her face. “Your old one had a cracked screen since March”
“The ice cream!”
“Also wanted to do. I like walking to that place”
“The—!” Neru made another mortified noise and covered her face with both hands. “The holding hands…”
“Okay I really, and I mean really, wanted to do that” Miku said with a big fat grin.
“…I want to die” Neru announced into her palms.
“Oh shush” Miku reached up and gently pulled one of Neru’s hands away from her face. Neru’s other hand remained covering half her face, though Miku didn’t take that one away out of pity for how embarrassed Neru was.
“I’ve known you like me for a while. I just wanted to see what you’d do about it…”
She paused for a moment.
“…I didn’t know the answer would be hypnosis”
Neru’s face went noticeably redder than before.
Miku laughed at that before reaching up and moving Neru’s other hand away from her face too. Neru looked at her, mostly because she didn’t really have a choice at this point since her hands were being held loosely in Miku’s lap.
“Hi” Miku said.
“Hey…” Neru said, barely above a whisper.
Miku kissed her again, more properly this time. Both of Neru’s hands were still tangled with Miku’s. Neru made another strange high pitched noise again, though this time it was muffled.
Neru pulled back after a moment. She was staring at Miku’s collarbone. Her ears were still burning.
“For the record” Neru said.
“Yeah?”
“I really liked the sleepover”
Miku squeezed her hands.
“Me too”
Miku leaned in and pressed her nose against the side of Neru’s head. She held the position for a few beats before speaking again.
“You know, you can ask me for whatever you want without using the coin now, right?”
“… Does… Does that include asking for another kiss…?” Neru asked very quietly.
Miku laughed and collapsed onto Neru once again with a big grin painted on her face.