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“Hey Niki,” Eret whispered, making Niki jump. Niki quickly swiped away her tears, trying not to get flour on her cheeks, even though she knew Eret had already seen them. And she trusted Eret to see her cry. I mean, it’s not like Eret had already seen her in much worse and vulnerable positions before.
“Hey,” Niki managed a weak smile. Niki could see the hesitation, before Eret poke up again, “I know that this baking is…important to you, but do you think I could join.”
Niki nodded, “I just started anyways.”
Eret, put nicely, was shit at baking. They didn’t measure out the ingredients properly, didn’t know any of the terms as she was a beginner, and Niki could definitely see him constantly panicking because they did not read the steps clearly if not for her guidance.
But it was entertaining, and Niki felt some of her sorrow fade away as she laughed along with her fellow Anchor. The kitchen felt warm, cozy even, something Niki didn’t think being in there could cause her to feel like again. Ever since the election in loop zero, Niki rarely baked because she was happy to.
She baked because Fundy or Punz or Purpled or Eret requested something, and don’t get her wrong, it always brought her joy when she watched them enjoy the pastries, but the process of baking didn’t invoke that feeling. It felt like a chore, something that loop zero Niki before the election wouldn’t think.
She baked to relieve stress, to cry into the dough, to throw eggs at the floor as she screamed in rage, to break down sobbing clutching a half whipped bowl of cream as grief hollowed out a home in her empty chest. The time spent in the kitchen trying to hash out all her negative emotions when it was Manburg made the kitchen have all the heavy feelings attached to it.
But now, she baked and laughed and checked on the oven temperature while cracking jokes. She had fun, she was smiling, she felt the joy of baking, that she thought she had lost, return to her. Niki realised, as she looked into Eret’s sunglasses that she knew had carefree eyes behind them, that it hadn’t abandoned her at all. She just finally felt safe enough to allow it back in.
By the time the cookies and tarts and banana bread(Niki had missed how easily baking was) were done baking, packaged, and the kitchen wiped down, it was around 10.40 pm. Niki started preparing the ingredients at 5 alone, with shoulders slumped, and ended more than 5 hours later with Eret’s hand curled around her and the warmth of that satisfied tiredness.
Fundy came in 30 minutes later, wanting to check if Niki was still awake and had some midnight goodies for him. Instead he found Mom asleep on the couch, in a position that implied that they had been reading a book, which was now on the floor, then fell asleep. Their legs were dangling off the couch while his upper half was using the couch armrest as a pillow. Niki was lying on Eret’s lap, hugging Eret like a teddy bear as she too slept, pink hair spilling around.
Fundy smiled softly, leaving his mothers alone as he made his way back to his own house.