Chapter Text
My name is Kankri Vantas, and I’ve come to terms with something.
The truth is, I am flushed for Meenah Peixes. Well, actually, I don’t know if I’m flushed or caliginous, but that is very common for trolls with caliginous feelings to think, but I’d really rather think of her as a flushed crush than a caliginous one, so I’ll just say that.
I know I tend to lecture her for her rebellious behaviour and immature vocabulary, but that happens to be exactly why I’ve fallen for her. My heart simply flutters and my cheeks heat up whenever I talk to her and she gives me those cute nicknames like “Kanny” or even the bad ones like “Kankrisore.”
…
On occasion, I actually catch myself daydreaming about- pailing her (or rather- her pailing me,) but that is very inappropriate and rude of me, so whenever I do that, I try my best to think of something else. Sometimes I fail to do so, so I have to, um, relieve myself. I will not elaborate on what I mean by that, because you probably already know.
Anyway, sometimes I write little love letters to her. I never actually send them, of course. She’d never feel the same way, and that is just fine. I keep them in a specific drawer in my desk. Now, if anyone were to find that drawer, I would just lock myself up in my hive for the rest of eternity in shame.
The truth is, I’d actually like to be more like her, the way she just gets straight to the point when talking to people, and doesn’t get lost in her thoughts when talking. It’s honestly very honorable, when you think about it.
[ApexGenesis [AG] began trolling ChitinousCastigant [CC] at 3:25 PM.]
Speak of the devil- my apologies, that’s offensive to religious people.
AG: sup kankrisore
CC: Meenah, y9u kn9w that nickname is actually quite 9ffensive t9 pe9ple with cankers9res, right?
AG: people with cankersores dont give a fuck
AG: anyway
AG: your moirail cronus said you had a drawer full of stuff he said id like to sea
CC: What?
CC: N9 I d9n’t.
CC: What c9uld I have that y9u w9uld want t9 “sea?”
AG: i dunno
AG: he made it sound like some real embarrassing shit tho
CC: Can y9u give me a few m9ments? I need t9 g9 d9 s9mething.
AG: your prolly gonna go grill him for tellin me about whatever your hiding lmao
CC: That is n9ne 9f y9ur c9ncern.
[ChitinousCastigant [CC] stopped trolling ApexGenesis [AG] at 3:30 PM.]
[ChitinousCastigant [CC] began trolling TidalCantina [TC] at 3:31 PM.]
CC: Cr9nus.
TC: yeah?
CC: Last time y9u were at my hive, were y9u l99king thr9ugh my things?
TC: wvhat? No, wvhy wvould i do that?
CC: 6ecause a certain seadweller t9ld me a69ut h9w y9u t9ld her a69ut a drawer 9f humiliating things she’d like t9 see.
TC: okay, maybe, wvhen you wverent looking, i found your little lovwe letters to meenah.
CC: Cr9nus, y9u kn9w h9w I feel a69ut 9ther tr9lls l99king thr9ugh my things, even y9u.
TC: yeah i knowv chief
TC: but i wvas curious
TC: that wvas like the only part of your hivwe i havwent seen, so you cant blame me.
CC: I mean, that is true.
CC: I still w9uld have appreciated it if y9u had at least t9ld me y9u l99ked, instead 9f her
TC: yeah i get it
TC: but also
TC: wvere moirails right
CC: That’s right.
TC: so wvhy didnt you uh
TC: tell me you wvere flushed for her
TC: isnt that wvhat moirails are supposed to do is help eachother wvith stuff like that
CC: 9h
CC: My ap9l9gies, Cr9nus.
CC: I supp9se I was simply a 6it humiliated 6y the fact that i am flushed for her
TC: its fine
TC: just try to open up to me more
TC: okay?
CC: 9kay
CC: s9rry again
TC: anywvay she’s probably buggin ya so ill let you get to it
TC: see ya kan
CC: 6ye.
[ChitinousCastigant [CC] stopped trolling TidalCantina [TC] at 3:45 PM.]
Well, now I feel bad. It’s not like it isn’t my fault. He’s right. He’s my moirail, and I really should have told him about my flushed feelings for Meenah. Then again, he doesn’t have to go spilling my secrets.
Speaking of Meenah, I shouldn’t keep her waiting any longer.
[ChitinousCastigant [CC] began trolling ApexGenesis [AG] at 3:50 PM.]
AG: so uh
AG: you ready to show me whats in that desk of yours??
CC: N9, actually.
CC: It’s private inf9rmati9n, and I’d really rather if y9u didn’t kn9w a69ut it.
AG: come oooon, Kanny.
AG: why cant you tell me???
AG: your moirail said it was something i should sea so i think i should sea it!
CC: I can’t tell y9u 6ecause
AG: because what!
CC: 6ecause they’re love letters I d9n’t intend t9 send t9 y9u that I wr9te 6ecause I’m h9rns 9ver heels f9r y9u!
CC: !!!
[ChitinousCastigant [CC] stopped trolling ApexGenesis [AG] at 3:52 PM.]