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It was harder than Genya thought.
Being a demon slayer was obviously a difficult job in itself. Slaying demons every night tirelessly while witnessing the most gruesome murder scenes is not a normal thing for a reasonably sane human to see on the daily.
But being a kakushi, for Genya at least, was harder than when he tried to be a demon slayer.
Because even though he was getting cut up by demons and coughing up blood because of the intensity of his training…
He could at least be somewhat close to his ‘Nemi.
At least his ‘Nemi would KNOW who he was.
But having Sanemi bark at him while he healed his injuries, not knowing it was his own little brother, hurt Genya more than any demon-infected wound he had to endure.
………
“Here. Sit down so you don’t bruise anything.”
Genya gently guided Sanemi down to the cot. His kakushi mask covered his face neatly, obscuring everything but his eyes to the hashira’s view.
“I’m fine,” Sanemi grunted as he sat down on the cot. “I’m not a baby. Stop ordering me around.”
“Right. Sorry, Shinazugawa-san.” Genya muttered. It was weird to call him that. This was his older brother he was speaking to. His ‘Nemi. Not Shinazugawa-san.
Just thinking about the title made Genya’s hard die inside. He supposed it fit at this point, not only to remain anonymous, but it was also telling of their relationship. They were separated in their relationship despite being so near to each other physically.
“I’ll bring you your medicine.” Genya said curtly as he turned away from the room. Sanemi groaned.
“Get me a cup of water too. I’m parched.”
Genya nodded and headed out of the room to fill a cup of water and medicine for Sanemi. His movements were smooth and efficient, but his heart felt like it was being torn down layer by layer. Every single time he thought about Sanemi there, who didn’t know his own little brother was standing in front of him and tending to him everyday, he felt his stomach sink.
Genya was more than grateful for these moments with Sanemi. It was at least a little comforting to have his older brother talk to him like he’s a person and not like anybody else (like back when he was a demon slayer).
But it gutted him to know that the only way he could properly talk to the man he loved most in this world, was to talk to him as someone elsea, a kakushi, and not as himself.
Not Genya Shinazugawa.
Not as his little brother.
The teen didn’t even realise he had returned to the room until he heard Sanemi’s irritated voice snap him out of his thoughts.
“Oi! You gonna give me that medicine or?” Sanemi had his arms crossed, with his usual stern expression fixed onto his face.
Genya blinked out of his haze and approached him with the tray containing the medicine container, the cup of water, and some onigiri. “Y-Yeah, yeah… here.”
Sanemi snatched the cup of water and gulped it down. He set the cup down with a sigh. “Goddamn…” he muttered. “Damn it, kakushi! How long will this wound take to heal-”
Sanemi then stopped when he noticed tears soaking into the teen’s kakushi mask. He widened his eyes slightly for a moment.
“S-Sorry… Sorry.” Genya cleared his throat and wiped his tears. “J-Just caught something in my eye. Sorry.”
He turned away and quickly retreated to the door. “Goto will be with you from now on, Shinazugawa-san. You can call for him if you need anything.”
Genya scurried away, leaving Sanemi sitting up in his cot, staring after Genya in shock and confusion.
Because if there’s one thing Sanemi remembered from his life before, it would be the devastated eyes of his little brother whenever he got upset. There was no mistaking it, and he was angry at himself for not realising who he was sooner.
Sanemi clutched the blankets tight in his fist. His chest felt heavy. His mind raced.
Genya… is still here at the Corps?