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i just havent learned how to be human as you are yet

Summary:

Literally just a bloodymary au of me and my qpr

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Finn groaned deeply, the relentless throbbing in his head intensifying as he sat up. With a wince, his fingers moved to his temples, frantic to ease the pain radiating through his skull. Panic gripped him through his disorientation as he took in his surroundings. "Ow, what the fuck happened? Where am I?!" The space around him was dim, bathed in a soft, flickering light that cast long shadows against metallic walls. The air was thick with uncertainty, the faint but constant hum of surrounding machinery punctuated by sporadic medical beeps.

"She’s called the Hail Mary." A calm voice cut through his rising panic. “Relax, you’re fine.”

Turning slowly towards the source of the voice, Finn's eyes fell upon a striking figure. 

Cloaked in cashmere and soft flannel, he looked more like a fabric doll than a real person. Finn's attention was pulled first to the man’s glasses, a light green which framed warm brown eyes that sparkled with adventurous spirit. The tousled brown hair, just shy of his eyebrows; his charming smile, bright and inviting; momentarily, he was speechless. Each detail made Finn acutely aware of his own confusion and vulnerability.

"What the fuck is a 'Hail Mary'?" Finn made air quotes around the name. Air quote, he realised. Not feeling his fingers respond, he looked down.

And promptly screamed. 

"What the fuck did you do to me?!" His head spun from looking between the man in front of him and the stump of muscle that was the remains of his left arm. 

"Hey, chill, alright? Blip-D—sorry, SM-13—was drifting way too close to Mary, so we thought we’d snag it and push it off course,” he explained, deadpan. “Didn’t realise there’d be someone in that hunk of junk. The blood was drowning you, and most of your arm was ripped off, but I was able to give it some suturing. It’ll be alright. Not much I can do about the rest of your arm, though. Sorry.” 

When Finn didn’t respond—still dazed from the, well, everything—he continued, more gently. “I'm Dr Theo Parker. I'm also Mary’s captain. Well, the only guy on board. Want a look around?" Soft yet sure, this was someone well-versed in alleviating distress. Theo held out a hand, and Finn took it, standing shakily. 

"So. Next question. What's going on?" 

Theo pointed to the array of screens in front of the empty captain’s chair. “Heading back to Earth from the planet Adrian." 

Finn tilted his head. "Never been there—wait, Earth, as in, the Earth?”

“Only got one Earth.”

“We can’t go back there. Earth is gone.”

Theo squinted. “I'm sorry?” His clipboard was cast aside as he moved next to Finn on the medical bed. 

“The Quiet Rapture,” Finn snapped. “Did you forget?”

“The Rapture happened? Already?” He looked around a little nervously. “Yikes. Jesus didn’t even give me a heads-up. Kinda rude.”

“Who?”

“What?” The captain’s mind seemed to stall. “What’s your name?”

“... Finn.”

He nodded. “Where are you from, Finn?”

“Mars.”

Theo went very still. Then, like a child, he started to kick his feet. “That’s so cool! Could you tell me anything about it?” Finn leaned away a bit as he shook his head, curls falling out of his loose ponytail and into his face. “What? Come on! I had no idea we got a colony on Mars. When’d that happen??” 

Finn avoided Theo’s eyes, fidgeting with the loose skin around his nails. “Year 0 of my calendar. I forget what year that was on Earth. 1992, maybe?”

Theo tilted his head. “We didn’t have any Mars colonies in ‘92. Oh, and that rapture you mentioned, when’d that happen?” Finn mumbled out the year. “2349? But that’s impossible, it’s 2055.” Theo’s hands tightened slightly on the clipboard.

Finn looked up. Then, he laughed, eyes still wide in shock and disbelief. “Oh, okay. That’s, uh, interesting...” Finn trailed off while Theo just stared. “Hey, uh, side question, but do you know how to make a prosthetic arm or something? Actually, nevermind, I’ll deal with it.” He spoke quietly, his tone half-scared.