Work Text:
Shinji, walking through to their assigned place, heart fluttering and trying to keep himself calm. Despite all that's been happening, all the fighting, the suspicions and the stares, and how no one really wanted to look at him-
And it was fine. It was fine.
Because of him.
And that should bother Shinji, but it doesn't. At all. How going to this one specific place can make his how body whirl and heat. Shinji's pretty sure he knows why but doesn't dare follow the through on the thought. He just wants to hurry back to the one place-
Finally-
Shinji finally got to the music room and he can slow down, taking in the sight. The room spacious enough that he can be breathe. That this room could contain the spiraling strains of music, that can be held in their chests and carry it with them with no one else knowing.
He says them because-
There, in the center of the room, sitting at the piano-
Is Kaworu smiling at him.
Shinji's heart gave a painful thump and somehow, he could muster a smile back. He'd practice on cello after piano, unable to change course even if he wanted to. Shinji took his usual spot and let his frame shift. That vague nervousness that can from just how much he likes Kaworu's shoulders brushing against his, to how easy it is to not care about anything but Kaworu sitting next to him. That with a single look, Kaworu could know what he was thinking, sending Shinji into equal parts dread and elation.
“Hello Shinji. How are you?” Kaworu asked.
Shinji's face too hot, “Y-yes.” Blinking and clearing his throat, “I mean uh good. Yes, I'm good. How about you?” He asked.
A soft huff of laugh, “Better now that you are here.” He said.
Shinji can't categorize the noise that comes out of his mouth, unable to help his grin.
“What do you want to play?” Kaworu asked.
Just as Shinji was unable to help his grin, he couldn't trust him to speak and instead let his fingers play out the first few bars of 'Gabriel Faure- Dolly Suite, Op. 56' and the rosy hued surprise on Kaworu's face is a reward all on its own. Placing his hands on the keys, Shinji took cue from Kaworu, and happy that his playing didn't falter when their fingers brushed.
It's so easy to let the rest of the world fall away when Kaworu is by his side, his face taking an animation that is just for Shinji. That he doesn't pull away when their shoulders and knees touch. They crowd each other and for him-just for him- Shinji is content to stay.
He never knew how scary-
How wonderful it is to be content.
He never knew synchronization could feel like this. Anticipating each other's moves, leaning to and fro into each other's spaces, separate and together all at once. Shinji would cry if he let it get to his head. Because he knows deep down that he'll want more and he has no idea how to get it, or even what to do with it if he had it. Every time he tries to speak, his throat clicking, leaving him to sigh out what he could not speak. All he could do was peek up at Kaworu, who would look back at him with the softest of touches. Like he would break if Kaworu held him any tighter.
He thinks Kaworu knows. And Shinji longs to be braver, to not run away.
But for now...
For now, he'll play the piano and let the music do the talking.
That for now-just for now-that's all it needs to be.