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This was genuinely one of the worst days she’s ever had. As per usual, everyone at school had to remind her of how much they despise being in her presence. That no one wants her around anymore, not like they ever did in the first place. Then, once she finally made it home her dad just had to remind her of how much of a failure she was. How much space she wasted.
Once she finally made it to her room and away from everyone, she collapsed. She’d never gone searching in her drawer for the box so fast before, new record! As soon as she found the box she opened it and grabbed her blade, immediately slicing at her thighs over and over. The anger wouldn’t go away. No matter how hard she pressed down or ran it across her thighs, it wasn’t helping. Why wasn’t it helping?
The oil dripped down as she sat on her bedroom floor sobbing, trying her hardest to be quiet. She hated people hearing or seeing her cry. She couldn’t stop. Even with it not doing anything, she felt as if she needed to do this because she deserved it. All she does is cause misery in everyone’s life.
She paused, glancing over to under her bed. The rope. No one would care if she did it. If she attached that rope to the ceiling and kicked the chair with the rope around her neck. No one would even notice her absence. And honestly, she can’t bring herself to care anymore. It’s too much, and she’s as weak and pathetic as everyone claims she is.
With the oil still dripping, she crawls over to her bed and reaches under after setting the blade down. When she finally manages to grab the rope, she hears something- no, someone. She immediately freezes, someone’s going to see her like this. Disgusting and sobbing. Literally about to kill herself. The panic sets in immediately. Before she can even manage to put the rope back under the bed and hide her injuries, that someone comes in her room through the vents.
V.
“Yo, Zi-“ She immediately pauses at the sight. Her entire demeanor changes to something softer, understanding.
Uzi immediately starts hyperventilating, dropping the rope and backing up against her bed. Honestly, she has no idea what to do. “Don’t look at me,” she’s silent for a moment, the only sound being her gasping for breath. She speaks weakly, “Please.”
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” She says, her voice softer than Uzi will ever deserve. V slowly lowers herself to the ground, keeping a good distance as to not scare Uzi any further. She doesn’t really know how to handle situations like these well, but she’ll try.
Uzi starts sobbing even harder, hiding her face in her knees. They fall silent, V not knowing what to do and Uzi wanting for this to end already. V glances at the rope sitting between them and quietly sighs, she knows the feeling of wanting nothing more than to end it. Unfortunately, that doesn’t go well for disassembly drones with the whole regeneration thing.
“Do you.. want to talk about it?” V says, a little hesitant. She doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but she also can’t just leave her here when she needs someone the most.
Uzi is silent for a moment, she really doesn’t want to be even more vulnerable than she already is. She also wants so desperately to finally get everything off of her chest. But what if she scares V away? What if she loses one of the only people she actually has? Those thoughts are immediately silenced when she ends up speaking anyway. “I’m just so tired. Everyone at school is constantly reminding me of how I’m just a freak. They all constantly bully me for literally no reason. They tell me about how much they hate being around me and they make it even more clear by physically avoiding me. I know it’s really stupid. This stupid blade is the only thing I have, I can’t keep living like this. I can’t stop relapsing no matter how hard I try to stop. I can’t do this anymore, V.”
They fall into brief silence once more, V looked away for a moment before slowly moving over to sit next to Uzi. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to be comforting. “You know, I won’t be able to understand exactly what you’re going through, but I can understand how it might feel. I used to hurt myself, too. No one knew with how fast it healed, perks of being a disassembly drone, I guess. I tried to kill myself a number of times, too. I always regenerated, of course. And it’s not stupid, Zi. You’re not alone. It gets better, if you let it. It’s hard to try when all you’ve known is suffering. It’s like you’ll lose a part of yourself. But hey, I’m still me.”
That was probably the last thing she expected V to say, but it did help. To have someone who understands how you feel, to not think you’re a freak for it. To not be judgmental, but understanding. And honestly, Uzi didn’t even realize she’d stopped crying. Damn, she’s good. “Thanks.” She says, a little embarrassed that she just dumped all her problems on V.
“Anytime. Now, let’s get you cleaned up.” She says, standing up. “You got a first aid kit somewhere?”
Right, she’d almost forgotten about the mess she created. She doesn’t answer for a moment, “It’s in my closet.”
After she gets the kit, she kneels in front of Uzi. Opening it and grabbing the proper supplies and tending to her wounds. Her touch more gentle than Uzi deserved. She’s so gorgeous like this.
Shut up.
Once V was done, she closed the kit. She looks up at Uzi, “You okay?”
Uzi, a little startled by the sudden speaking, is silent for a moment before briefly speaking. “Yeah, better. Thanks, again. Seriously.” She smiles at V.
V smiles back, a rare, genuine smile. “Don’t mention it. Now, can I stay over for the night? I’m so bored.” She says with a teasing smirk.
She was grateful for the change in topic, but also flustered at the thought of V staying over for the night. “I- Fine, whatever. I don’t care.” She says, teasing her back.
“Awh, is the big bad Uzi getting all flustered? How cute.”
“Ugh, shut up. Bite me!”
The rope was discarded.