Work Text:
Who's gonna tell us the stories, that our textbooks don't?
'Well, Mr. Barrow… Why don’t you tell me where you were last night while we were stuck dealing with the royal staff?'
Phyllis’s tone is teasing. Of course it is, because the Lady's maid has never bothered to call Thomas ''Mr. Barrow'', butler or not. Thomas also knows full well that this isn’t just a friendly inquiry into his well-being. This is going to be an interrogation.
Tales of love that stay blurry, cause our courses won't
In response, Thomas merely raises an eyebrow.
'I have no idea what you’re talking about, Ms Baxter.'
A lie. Of course. But Thomas isn’t going to give her the satisfaction of admitting that he did, in fact, spend last night with His Majesty’s second valet. Let Phyllis worry about it.
Ignore the way they're designed to erase the past
Just a few years ago, the very idea of spending an evening in a bar with another man would have been unthinkable for Thomas. Yes, he often acts on impulse and makes hasty decisions. But he’s no fool. He prefers a life of freedom, even if it hurts. Every single day.
But last night... he doesn’t even know what came over him.
To keep good intentions secret
To force a mask
Of course, Phyllis sees right through him straight away. The Lady's maid knows Thomas better than he knows himself. Unfortunately.
No mask, however well put on, works on her. And perhaps, it occurs to Thomas, he doesn’t need to put on this mask in front of Phyllis at all.
Too many handwritten letters
Signed to: "my dearest, with love"
Six months have passed since the royal visit, and the letters still haven’t stopped coming. For Thomas, it’s a minor miracle.
Every Thursday, as punctually as the morning bell, they arrive. Neatly addressed to him, with the royal seal on the envelope.
And every time, Thomas almost snatches the letters from Andy’s hand. There’s no time to be cautious.
All pulled from their papers, ripped out as cover up
To disguise endearment, as friendly notes
The letters are formal. At least the first page is. The second page, often hidden within the first, is not.
'Mr Barrow' becomes 'My dearest Thomas'
'Kind regards, Mr Ellis' becomes 'I’m thinking of you, Richard'
It doesn't take a scholar, to know how this one goes
They know. Of course they know. It would have been very hard to miss how Thomas has been positively beaming ever since the royal visit. He seems like a different person. Even Mr Molesley has noticed. And that definitely means something.
And historians will call them
Close friends, besties, roommates, colleagues
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers
Sidekicks, family, good pals, buddies
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers
Mrs Patmore calls them 'unbearably romantic'.
Daisy calls them 'lovebirds'.
Andy and Phyllis refrain from making any comments.
And Carson… Outwardly, he pays Thomas not the slightest bit of attention. He has taken to pretending that Thomas doesn’t exist at all. For Thomas, this is definitely the most pleasant solution for all of them.
Thomas stopped trying to fool Carson a long time ago. The former butler is too stubbornly entrenched in his old ways for anyone to change that now.
But Thomas doesn’t live his life for Carson. He is just glad that Richard has saved him from becoming as bitter as his former superior. With Richard, Thomas no longer feels bitter, but filled with a joy and love he has never experienced before in his life.
Fourty years living together
Wearing the same wedding bands
It’s certainly not been 40 years yet. And yet, to Thomas, it almost feels as though he’s spent his whole life with Richard. A wonderful life, full of love and comfort. A life that Thomas could never have imagined, even in his wildest dreams.
Two kids and a golden retriever
"Just friends" don't live like that
They don't look at each other
With love in their eyes
With hopes to settle down for the rest of their lives
Just friends. Just friends don’t wait for each other every evening to leave work together.
Just friends don’t accidentally brush hands when one hands the other the jam jar.
Just friends don’t live in the same cottage on the pretext that they can’t afford a house on their own (not that anyone in Downton Abbey would have bought that story anyway).
How many decades of hiding?
Twenty—one centuries of hate
Some things may not've been okay back then
But it's sure all right today
Looking back on his younger years, Thomas wonders whether things would ever get better for men like him. Whether he would ever be allowed to love Richard as openly and loudly as all his colleagues do with their partners every day.
To this day, he has no answer to that, and although it fills him with rage the moment he thinks about it, there is no longer any self-loathing involved. Not when he gets to wake up next to Richard every morning.
Not when Daisy congratulates them on their anniversary.
Not when Mrs Patmore always slips an extra biscuit into his pocket for Richard.
Not when Phyllis plans a surprise for both Thomas’s and Richard’s birthdays.
Too afraid to call it what it is
It doesn't take a scholar, to understand this
No one ever calls it by its name. And yet everyone knows. But there’s no more whispering in the corridors. No snide remarks (apart from Carson). No recriminations or confusion.
It’s simply there. Quiet and invisible, yet definitely palpable. Because Thomas has never felt so happy in his life.
And historians will call them
Close friends, besties, roommates, colleagues
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers
Sidekicks, family, good pals, buddies
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers
Someday, the time will come when Thomas no longer has to introduce Richard as his cousin. A time when they can hold hands in public, and not just under the kitchen table in the servants’ hall.
A time when they are something other than two unmarried servants.
Someday…
Keep it hidden, rewrite history
Leave it wrapped up in a mystery
Because no one can figure it out (I think they figured it out)
Thomas really did try not to let it show in the weeks following the royal visit. To no avail. It’s probably hard to miss when a butler who’s usually rather quiet and grumpy suddenly seems much more open and happier out of the blue.
When he suddenly receives far more post than usual. When his eyes always light up at the sight of those particular letters.
When he suddenly takes an active part in all the conversations at the breakfast table (especially those about the royal visit).
A mystery. At least for those who go through life with blinders on.
Stash the proof, hide the evidence
Keep it locked until it's relevant
Because they can't figure it out (I think they figured it out)
Because no one can figure it out
I think they figured it out
He kept the letters in a locked drawer. From the outside, they look like ordinary correspondence. But in the letters, ‘Mr Barrow’ becomes ‘My dearest Thomas’ and ‘Kind regards’ becomes ‘With Love’.
And every letter warmed Thomas’s heart anew and made the time easier for him whilst Richard was still living in London and working for the King. When he started his new job at Downton Abbey as Robert‘s valet, once Bates retired, he told everyone that he moved to Downton to be closer to his mother who has fallen ill.
No one believed him. In fact, Richards mother is as healthy as she can be and full of pride for her son who is now finally thriving in life.
Every once a month, Thomas and Richard use their free day to visit Richards parents in York. These are the most joyful Sundays that Thomas has ever experienced. He‘s finally feeling loved exactly for who he is.
Richard Ellis used his family as a pretext to work at Downton Abbey and, in doing so, gave Thomas a real family.
And historians will call them
Close friends, besties, roommates, colleagues
Anything but lovers
Sidekicks, family, good pals, buddies
Anything but lovers
Close friends, besties, roommates, colleagues
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers
Sidekicks, family, good pals, buddies
Anything but lovers
History hates lovers