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Luke has had a pretend girlfriend for a few months now. Only to keep up the pretence that he’s fine and it’s definitely not a distraction from being in love with his best friend, definitely. Now Sam is completely fine with this, completely… he even keeps expressing that “I’m happy for you”. And honestly he is, he is happy for Luke. If Luke’s happy that makes him happy, even if it breaks him a little inside.
Whenever Sam sees Luke his stomach just seems to love doing little flips, until his brain has to remind him of the fact that Luke has a girlfriend, which makes his stomach fully drop, and it puts him in a foul mood every. Single. Time.
The first time he was told by Luke, it was heartbreaking. Even though he knows Luke doesn’t feel the same, and he never will, it still hurt. So much. But now every time Sam thinks or looks at Luke it’s like that dagger is twisting in his heart. Because the truth is he truly loves Luke he truly cares for Luke, and doesn’t want anything or anyone to hurt him.
The first time Luke told Sam about his ‘girlfriend’ Sam looked absolutely heart broken, which was wildly confusing. ‘Does he feel the same? No, definitely not. That’s wishful thinking haha’
The other times anyone has asked about his relationship Luke would take a glance a Sam just to see it blank, void of any emotion. Now that was even more confusing. It’s been months since the first time he’d told Sam and he’d always receive the same response from him “I’m happy for you”. But there’d never be anything behind it. And even though his face was blank sometimes there would be a glaze over his eyes like he was trying not to cry. Why would he be crying? Maybe he was just upset from the day, but that excuse never seemed to sit right with him.
At a really particularly painful point in time when Sam’s at his apartment ‘ok maybe that’s a bit dramatic’ he finds a song called “happy for you”. Where it specifically repeats “I’m happy for you” while sounding more and more painful as it’s continued, like the truth is far from it. This part of the song just seems to resonate with Sam’s feelings of love fondness for Luke. So now he’s been listening to this song on repeat, thinking about Luke, wondering if he’ll always be alone, not answering any texts, and crying, huddled up on the sofa.
Luke’s been worried for quite some time now, thinking about Sam. ‘Why’s he not answering my texts? Is he ok? I should check on him, right? Yeah, probably. Well, what if I’m in the way? He won’t want to see me, surely. Or I could just… pop by his house asking for… um… a… eggs?’ His thoughts swirled around his head of just Sam and if he should see him. “ right no I’m over thinking this. It’s fine, we’re friends. Friends randomly show up and ask for eggs,… yup”
luke gets to Sam’s apartment 10 minutes later. Knocking on the door and hearing nothing, he enters using his spare key.
“Sam? Sam are you here.” He can hear some soft sobs round the corner coming from the living room. Hearing Sam upset Luke rushes round and finds him huddled on the sofa, listening to a song playing through the speakers. “Sam? Whats the matter?” Cautiously walking and kneeling in front of him, as Sam tries to hide his face, he asks in the softest voice “Darling, what can I do to make you feel better”.
”I’m sorry,” he sobs “I’m so sorry”
“What about, you’ve not done anything wrong” Luke is slightly confused… again. In his eyes Sam could do no wrong. Without a response and not knowing how to comfort Sam, he just sits there for a moment. Moving his hand to rest on his arm and trace meaningless patterns on his skin. He decides to put his attention towards listening to the song that playing. ‘These words, are they important to Sam?’ “Hey, ain’t it funny how we swore we couldn’t live without each other, you got another, got it figured out” ‘This is a love song. It’s mostly about loving someone but that other person has moved on and got a different partner. Wow, I didn’t think Sam would like these type of songs, but he is crying right now. Wait, if this song is similar to what he’s feeling, does that mean he likes someone.’ His thoughts are cut of as he hears a loud sniffle, Sam’s calmed down a lot since Luke came bye.
Sam’s calmed by Luke’s touch and decides to just tell Luke how he feels. What has he got to loose other than a decade of friendship? But he’s not overthinking this, screw it.
“Luke”
luke waits patiently for him to continue.
”Luke I…” ‘this is more difficult than he’d thought’ “I like you”
Luke hesitates before responding “I like you too, we’re really good friends” He tries to keep his tone neutral not very successfully though.
”No, not as friends, I mean yes I love being your friend but, I like you as more than that.”
There’s a beat
“And I know you won’t feel the same I just had to tell you… I was upset because I was jealous that you were with someone, when that someone wasn’t me. I just like you so much. No, I love you, that’s how much I love you. I love your hair, I love your skin, I love your music taste, I love your characters on stage, I love your eyes the way they gleam with mischief. I love your smile that shows your dimples. I love the way you laugh, so full of joy and light when it bursts out. I love your attitude sometimes and I love that you’re such a good friend. I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer… I just needed to tell you. I tried to keep it in, I thought I was fine but then I found this song and it all came out.”
Luke just sits there, stunned and silent.
“You… like me? Really? I… Sam i dont have a girlfriend” Sam looks absolutely dumbfounded “I made it up to distract myself from who I actually like” Sam’s face falls slightly, worry etched into it but underneath is a spark of hope.
Luke doesn’t know how to say the next word that come to his mind. He leans in and presses his lips gently to Sam’s lips and presses his forehead to Sam’s “I love you too” They press their lips together again but this kiss is deeper, changing with want and need. Luke presses closer between Sam’s legs as they break the kiss. “I’ve loved you for so long I can’t believe this is real”
“Me neither, but all I care about now is that you are mine now Sam. Mine forever”