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I miss home
That was one of the thoughts plaguing Oysterpaws mind as she shifted in her nest. It had been three moons since shed been home, home with her clan with her friends with Asterbloom.
But when she would return to Coastclan she would fully become a peacekeeper and she knew the price was worth it.
Mountainclan was nothing like Coastclan, yes both of their camps where underground but the tunnel system Mountainclan used was unlike anything shes seen in her time with the others.
She could no longer hear the splashing of the waves against rock, she could no longer feel the sun on her pelt or the sand stuck in her paws. It was just cold, cold and grey and…
She clawed impatiently at her nest.
”Oysterpaw?” A soft voice from longer inside the cavern could be heard almost echoing
”If you are having trouble sleeping maybe you should go out? You might even see Coastclan from up here..” It was Pinenose, Mountainclans peacekeeper.
”Uh I uhm yeah I’ll be.. I’m sorry I’ll go out now..”
”Sorry for waking you..” Oysterpaw stammered for a apology knowing firstpaw how annoying it was to have a shifting den-mate, especially when underground where everything else was quiet.
Although the apology seemed to be in vain as Pinenose had already fallen asleep again..
Oysterpaw began carefully making her way out of the cavern that was her ”den” although compared to the decorative and pawmade dens in Coastclan it hardly counted.
She stepped out into the tunnels laying beneath Mountainclan territory that also doubled as their camp. It was…… unique, if Oysterpaw had to give it a name.. but she couldn’t deny the cleverness of having a tunnel system as a camp.
She slowly made her way out, but just when she reached the main-cave she stopped..
I’m pretty sure it was this way..? Oh stars if it’s not it’s gonna be really embarrassing….
Luckily for her it was the way out but geez with all these tunnels who could bother learning all of them.. they all look the same!! Atleast put some decorations or flowers or hell even a rock to show where it will lead you!!
She emerged from the tunnels out into the mountains.. just to immediately get a ray of sun in her eyes.. ouch..
But as she looked around she noticed a figure sitting on the ledge, looking out of the territories in the distance..
No there’s no way!! What?
It was none other than Owlstar herself, Oysterpaw couldn’t belive it!
Owlstar, THE Owlstar. Known for her coldness and incompetence with her clan mostly letting her deputy lead it (which said deputy was rude for no reason and was unfit in Oysterpaws humble opinion) was sitting out here and watching the sunrise.
Oysterpaw hesitated for a moment, while Owlstar hadn’t been rude to her she hadn’t really said anything.. if anything she looked… sad, but not in the ”normal” way she was used to. In a way that seemed to be in her very being her very soul.. no one had taught her how to deal with this.
I mean yeah shes a peacekeeper but she still a apprentice for stars sake!!
Well she supposes she should try to deal with it in the way she was taught to deal with other sadnesses..
Oysterpaw walked torwards the white and black leader and sat down, watching the sunrise.
Owlstar tensed
”What are you?!…. Oh…. It’s just you..” she sounded.. different. Though it might just be the morning.
There they sat watching the sunrise, Oysterpaw felt a strong sense of longing, of wanting to return to her clan. She could see her territory, the waves crashing against the beach.
She wondered if the first hunting patrol had sat out the net for today, poor Saltbreeze he was so tired the probably forgot.. hm, Oysterpaw thinks about Asterbloom, how could she possibly switch clans? I mean she was happy that she was now in Coastclan but she had to miss-
”Do you miss it?”
”Huh?”
”Your friends. Do you miss them” Owlstar turned to her, this was probably the most she’s ever said to her despite literally being in her clan temporarily.
”I suppose.. Your also missing something” That last part wasn’t ment to come out of her mouth oops?
Fortunately for Oysterpaw, Owlstar didn’t seem to hear that last part
”When you sit here, in the sunrise you remind me of someone.. I miss her..”
Well apparently she did hear.. great..
”Really? Who?” Oysterpaw hoped that her voice didn’t shake or show og her nervousness.. If she messed up now she might never become a real peacekeeper
”Sunray”
Oysterpaw almost didn’t hear her over the wind, before she could ask anything Owlstar continued talking.
”She was.. the best cat ive ever met, our previous healer. She had brown fur like you..
With the most yellow eyes I’ve seen, shining like a star.. Her name fit her perfectly, she was the light in my life.. like the sun and she made me feel so warm and nice.. Like I could actually do it you know? Like I could be the leader she wanted me to be”
Her voice grew softer with every word as she reminisced the past. Oysterpaw felt sick, she knew where this was going.
”What happened to her?” Oysterpaws voice was barely a whisper
”… She died in a avalanche”
Yeah.. that’s what I thought..
”I can’t do this..”
Wait what?
”I can’t lead this clan, I couldn’t save her.. and now my sun is gone and I feel all empty, how am I supposed to lead a clan like this.
I watch the sunrise trying to get the feeling she gave me back but it doesn’t work. I don’t even care anymore about that though, it still reminds me of her..”
Oysterpaw didn’t know what she could say.. maybe that was for the best, Owlstar sounded like she just needed to tell someone and well..
That’s why there where peacekeepers.
Oysterpaw once again looked out to the other territories and the wind picked up, and just for a moment she could smell it.. the salty wind of the ocean carrying its way up to mountains.
And she closed her eyes and felt hope blooming in her chest
as the suns first rays shone on her face.
despite everything, they where still here
________________________________________
Oysterpaw sat in her den, tired from lack of sleep. Despite her earlier hope she felt like she failed, Owlstar was still sad and her job was to keep other from being sad or angry or frustrated and understanding their feelings.
While she understood Owlstar more she just didn’t get it, it felt like a impossible puzzle.
”Pinenose?” Oysterpaw hesitantly said
”Yes Oysterpaw?”
”I talked with Owlstar this morning.. she seems sad and I know that this is technically your clan but I felt the need to tell you, I uh tried TL help but I don’t think-” She started going off on a tangent
”I know”
What?
Pinenose sighed at her bewildered expression
”Look, Owlstar is experiencing a different type of sadness, one that doesn’t go away that easily if at all. It’s like as if something vital was stripped from her and now she incomplete
It will take a lot of time and patience to get it to heal and even then there is no promise that she will ever be like she was before”
”… so that’s it then? We can’t do anything?”
”no.. we can do something, sometimes the best you can do is too just be there for someone”
The silence felt like it lasted for days but then..
”I’m proud of you Oysterpaw, you did good today despite your doubt”
And to that she smiled a bit after hearing those words
She missed home, but it was no longer as bad
”You know while I was out there I kinda felt like a starclan cat watching my territory” Oysterpaw said in a attempt to lighten the mood
Pinenose just chuckled in reply
It worked, and for a moment there was only them
If only they knew what was coming