Chapter Text
this would be terrifying, were she alone.
even if she had some method of passing the island's boundry alone, even if she could speed up her travels, what stirs and laps at its body is - perhaps in a literal sense - nightmarish, easily enough to dissuade a solo expedition. she trusts friend, but the island was tomb and haven in the same breath; without them, she likely would have never ventured this far out, were it even possible to do so.
deep in this dark, those ebbing nightmares writhe and deform every which way. the music she's playing, a waltzing piece from the newest dragon blazers she hasn't yet played, seems a buoy for the tamer fears, marking friend's path without turmoil. or the awayed anguish could be their influence.
perhaps both, in tandem, dissuade deepest dark.
she doesn't know, and she isn't particularly inclined to find out.
fundamentally, however, this travel is... well, boring. whilst she's fairly certain friend would mention if the two of them were going in a meaningless direction, there is just nothing on the horizon, nor deep down in the dark depths. the island isn't even there to be a landmark, having nearly vanished after the first song.
how strange, to know something could easily be terrifying yet finding boredom in its aspects. the wind blows cold, yet she is not.
she sighs and takes a hand off her guitar, friend humming and slowing down. "do you know if i could touch this spooky water? since it's not the goopy stuff anymore."
its face twists to the side, thinking for a moment. '''.i do-not See (anything) stopping_you , but.I do_not Think (you-should)'''
she snorts, spinning her guitar on a point. "i mean yeah the list of ideas better than touching it is probably unending, but you're literally floating on it."
'''(manifestation) does-not Rebuke_disconnected .(kin)'''
"that doesn't quite seem like a permanent 'no'. not as if my situation is anything normal." she leans back against them, crossing her legs. "somewhat related, are you cold?"
'''?heh'''
"because, like. you traded out abstract fur for knotted not-wood." petting it, she continues. "and even if i'm not gonna touch it - yet ;3 - the water is probably not warm."
''',,,might-i ?Be''' they're quiet for a while, and she can hear whispers of something from the waves, tinging familiar in such an honest tone that she pointedly does not entertain the thought of listening closer.
enough about listening to that she can't see which offers her what she wants, enough, enough-
friend speaks again. '''i do-not Think i_am ,Cold but i-am (not) .Sure'''
she is glad to hear it, and her mind is feeling more weighed down than when she last spoke. a few moments pass ,deliberating, before she speaks in turn. "would you mind if i took a nap?"
their face wraps back around, nuzzling against hers. '''dreams are-Such (wonderful) things , .Go_ahead'''
chuckling, she pets it, eyes closing. before they shut, she can see some things twinkling up above, almost like stars, those pointed lights.
~~~\------/~~~
her tongues were static, and the waves very still. they made no sound to lap, and shook the wood none. the lights blinked at her, except they did not for they were not eyes. she wouldn't know either way. she does not have eyes. something pushed her up, thrice thicker than that tree, and she was not there and the boat was not there. she walked downwards into the water, met with light felt before it is cast. once, wallowing in a deepless world. in the dark, from the dark, comes the bright and the star. some things sing some thing. another among the fell, the lumbering, the sacrificed shown to others through sacrifice. withered on the bough again - hark, the deep is not the dark, but the dark is the deep. depths are the bane of the formed, soon to be the fount, the end, for the final time:
the shell breaks.
~~~\------/~~~
whilst most of her dream has already faded from waking mind, she does keenly remember how strange it was.
but, her current situation strikes as weirder still - or, failing that, more pressingly weird - so all but a few drops of the dream fall away.
'''was Your-slumber ?fruitful'''
"about as much as anything can be, here." a thought comes to mind, and hesitance follows at such a realisation. "...were you fine, with being alone?"
'''but How could-i be (lone) when You are_In my ?(hold)'''
"physically, yeah. or, like, my equivalent of physically. but you were on this ocean with no one to talk to, for however long i slept."
'''i-am used (to_it) .and Besides ,i_Knew (You) would Wake in-time ;i_am (patient)'''
"i don't know how to respond to that." stretching her neck out of habit, she pets them before looking in the path of their travels. "...wait is that land up ahead?" almost engulfing the horizon ahead, a mass of grey and something shining.
its face swivels back around to the front. the purple eye recedes into their form, whilst the yellow eye extends by an equal length. '''so it-is .wonderful Scene_transition ,(Your) sleep !was;'''
"you didn't skip with me, though."
'''i-Suppose that_is (well) ;and .(True:) regardless ,shall You play-A_tune so-We (may) land ?with_haste'''
"oh yeah, i can do that." looking back, her guitar had dissappeared, and fear strikes at her heartbeat before she remembers she can summon it. chances are, it unsummoned after not being used for a while.
her guitar comes back to her hand in a moment, but her hooves hesitate above the strings. "do you... know if anyone is there?"
'''not .a-Clue'''
she should play something, to speed it up and make landfall. that was the whole point of setting out, wasn't it? of leaving the only place in the dark she knows to be solid ground.
she doesn't play. "i..." she isn't quite sure what thoughts are bubbling in her mind, nor if she wants to acknowledge them, make them real in this place of unreal.
friend's face swivels back around, and she knows they would understand. that her reason for going with them and her fear are one and the same.
hometown is so, so small.
"could we just... stay out here? for a while."
'''.alright''' it comes to a stop, even the bobbing slowing to nothing. placing down the guitar, she lets out a breath, shuddering, and twists so she can curl up somewhat on her seat. leaning against them, she closes her eyes - sleep far from a possibility - and tries to breathe in that triangular pattern. in for some, hold for some, out for some, don't try and hold without breath so your legs don't kick.
she...
she was close to seven people, before this. all of whom were family, five of whom she knew all her life, two of whom were introduced when she was young. only one other was vaguely close to a regular friend via kris bringing dess in to their occult sessions with catti.
and that was fine, only taking to her close-knit siblings and every couple of weeks her youngest sibling's goth friend.
until she was ripped from the tapestry and said youngest sibling had to unravel themselves to prevent her from falling to tatters all because of one she thought she could at least somewhat trust even given his station-
keep breathing. keep the pattern.
friend had immediately posited itself as a... well, friend. answering her questions, helping her as needed, being a funky yet steady source of comfort, emotionally and physically. when combined with how off-kilter this dark world had made her, she didn't realise she considered them a friend until well after such was the truth.
but this island could have someone.
this island could have anyone.
a name to remember, a body, thoughts, likes, wants, hates, intents, plans, memories, connections, patterns.
try the pattern. try breathing.
someone who could look at her and say the wrong name, or the right name, and speak with any sum of venom, any sickly sweet, who could act in a way she can't understand even if she does, who could stick close if she hates or leave if she doesn't, who is just one potential soul to consider and think about out of who knows how many and fill her head with noise when she's trying to sleep because they aren't there-
friend speaks, and she does not hear it. but she knows they did, and that is something to grasp onto.
friend spoke, and so she should hear what it said.
patterned breathing.
shake, and tremble, and let those eyespots fade.
breath, in a pattern.
wait a moment, see if stability is now the truth.
"could you repeat that?" her voice sounds like shit, but it is her voice.
'''You_(seem) to-not be Having a_fun .time do You-(want) ?a_hug:'''
her laughter is morose, more than she wants it to be. "would if i could. i know i joked about touching the water, but i don't think being dipped in nightmare waves right now would exactly help, even if i'd get to hug you."
'''i-May have :a-.Solution'''
"...your track record for this kinda stuff's pretty good, so go ahead."
she blinks, and she is not sat upon not-wood. fur that bristles of something unfinished brushes against hers. it is as if she is laying upon one of those water beds, filled with molasses, slowly sinking into a friend's embrace. five paws, or thereabouts, wrap around her. she does not touch the water.
this time, she does not speak. her mind had slowed enough to allow for a few lines to be shared, but she would rather make light of this situation when her thoughts run without weight.
there are worse ways to deal with a panic attack.