Chapter Text
The Council of Ipliers
5:00 pm
Cellblocktango: who tf put a swordfish in the freezer
IMBIMTRIMMER: I bet it was Magnum.
Bingobangobongo: dude, he’s still at sea.
IMBIMTRIMMER: So?
Cellblocktango: You’re saying that the guy who hasn’t been remotely near the house all week put a swordfish in the freezer? The one we’ve been using for the past few days?
IMBIMTRIMMER: You never know with these people.
Googleplier_Blue: Camera footage shows that it was CJ.
IMBIMTRIMMER: Maggie could have told him to do that.
The Host: The Host texts the other egos to let them know that CJ did this of his own accord. He also lets them know that Captain Magnum hates swordfish.
IMBIMTRIMMER: I’m just letting yall know that Captain Magnum is a lying bastard.
Cellblocktango: Youse seem suspiciously mad at him.
Bingobangobongo: Yeah, why are you so adamant it was him?
IMBIMTRIMMER: …
Cellblocktango: oh my god. You’re still mad about the shampoo thing.
IMBIMTRIMMER: HE USED MY SPECIAL SHAMPOO!
Cellblocktango: Why do youse have $100 shampoo in the first place?!
IMBIMTRIMMER: My hair is delicate!
Cellblocktango: That doesn't justify anything!
💋❤️❤️❤️SENPAI❤️❤️❤️: Are we not going to talk about how Yancy still has his accent in text messages?
Cellblocktango:…
Cellblocktango: No we will not.
Edgelord: YAN
💋❤️❤️❤️SENPAI❤️❤️❤️: what?
Edgelord: You know talking about Yancy’s accent is a sore spot!
IMBIMTRIMMER: Shouldn’t you two be in class?
💋❤️❤️❤️SENPAI❤️❤️❤️: uh oh.
Imsorryyouredying: Guys please.
Imsorryyouredying: I’m working a 12 hour shift. I’m stressed out already. Pls stop raising my blood pressure.
Cellblocktango: Surprised it’s not higher.
Cellblocktango: Youse know, with the whole situation.
Sexyandiknowit: Oh yeah.
Sexyandiknowit: Darks still MIA.
Sexyandiknowit: Is it weird I miss him? Like a lot?
Imsorryyouredying: Not at all.
Imsorryyouredying: Weirdly enough, I miss yelling at him for not getting enough rest and aggravating his chronic pain.
Imsorryyouredying: But it’s out of our control. All we can do is stay together. Although I do wish he comes back soon. Wilford is a terrible leader, and I don’t know why Dark chose him as second-in-command.
Candyman: ExCUSE ME? I’m a wonderful and competent leader!
SPACESHIP🚀🧑🚀: You nearly shot up the whole house because you saw a spider!
Candyman: I was trying to save you all!
Cellblocktango: From what? That thing was the size of my fingernail
The Precious One: Guys, why is there a swordfish in the freezer?
Imsorryyouredying: Uhhhh....
Cellblocktango: So, who wants to go watch Iron Lung with me?
IMBIMTRIMMER: Me.
Cellblocktango: No.
Imsorryyouredying: No offense, Bim, but you saw me fixing Eric’s hand after he cut it and started salivating.
IMBIMTRIMMER: So?
The Precious One: Please, someone answer me. I just wanted to make Dino nuggets.