Work Text:
You have 17 unread messages and 4 saved messages.
Unread Message:
“Hey Sebastian, it’s Keith I heard–”
Message marked for deletion.
Unread Message:
Sebastian tapped through a majority of the messages, feeling as if he was on autopilot. If he heard “We’re so sorry.” or “Our condolences” or “He was so brave” one more time, he thought he might throw up.
Unread Message:
“Seb, it’s Laura. I know you’re not going to answer the phone. But I wish you would. Don’t shut yourself away, please. He wouldn’t want that. You know he wouldn’t. And don’t say that I don’t know what he would want.” There was uncomfortable laughter, and then a pause that lasted a lifetime.
“I’m worried about you, Sebastian. I’m going to come by tomorrow to make sure you’ve eaten something, okay? You don’t have to get out of bed, you don’t even have to acknowledge me, but you do have to eat something. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”
Message marked for deletion.
Unread Message:
“Hey.” The voice was gruff, rough, rougher than Seb had ever remembered it being. Wrecked by tears. Probably the only person who had the same right to cry as Seb did. “I’m not going to say any of the shit that other people have been saying. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. He was so brave. He was a hero. Fuck that. Fuck them. Ry isn’t dead. Ry isn’t some martyr. Makes me sick.
“Fuck. Anyway...You’re not going to want to, but I’m here if you want to talk. Jody says I have to talk to someone. Figured it may as well be to the person who loved him the most.”
Message marked for deletion.
Unread Message:
“Sebastian.” Seb dropped his phone. He scrambled to pick it up and continue listening “–seem the type to change your phone number.” He hung up on his voicemail and called it again to hear the whole message.
“Sebastian. I don’t even know if this is your number anymore, but you don’t seem the type to change your phone number. If you are well,” awkward laughter, “guess I’m talking to a stranger then.
“It’s been a long time. A long, long time. I don’t know why I’m calling. Well I do. I do know. You know. And I know. We both know.” Time hadn’t changed things at all. The stream of words when uncomfortable. Tripping, stammering, never stopping. A tear slid down Sebastian’s cheek. And then another.
“When I heard from a friend of a friend of someone I used to know that you got married...I was so happy for you. I thought ‘That’s great, we both got what we wanted in the end’. You got what you always wanted, except...except now he’s gone. And that...really fucking sucks, Sebastian. That’s not fair. You didn’t ask for this.
“At least, that’s my assumption. I don’t imagine that anyone would have asked for this.” A deep inhale. Then a longer exhale. “Anyway, I guess I’m calling to tell you not to let yourself waste away. Keep on living, keep on making music, keep on keeping his memory alive and well.
“This is probably a really stupid offer, and there’s no way you’ll go for it, but I’ll be in Los Angeles for a few months starting tomorrow. If you want to just not be alone for a minute, I’d love to get coffee, or something. No, nevermind that’s stupid. I’m sorry I bothered you Sebastian. If I knew how to delete my own voicemail, I would. But I don’t, so...yeah.”
Message saved.
There are no more messages.
Saved message
“Hi my love! I’m going to be–”
Sebastian stumbled out of bed and threw up.
Three days ago, the love of his life, Ryland Grace was sent up into space. The Hail Mary Launch, perhaps the biggest event in human history. The love of his life was many things. He was stubborn, he was opinionated, he was gentle, he was funny, he was incredibly intelligent, he was patient, he was shy, he was beautiful. But he was not an astronaut. Sebastian hadn’t even known he was a contender for the mission.
Hadn’t known anything, really. Just that he was doing “big science” as his love had put it. They hadn’t seen each other properly in months. The big science was classified. Dangerous. He was sequestered away. Allowed to call, and go home twice a month. Three times for their anniversary.
It was hard. Hardest thing they’d ever had to endure. At least, Sebastian thought it was. And then three days ago happened. Grace missed his usual phone call check in. Nothing to worry about. He was very busy, and very scatterbrained for someone so smart. And then he missed the next check in.
Seb didn’t know what happened until his sister called. Her voice was eerie. “Have you seen the news?” She urged him to turn on the TV. And there it was. The news of the launch. The three astronauts who were bravely sacrificing themselves to give Earth a fighting chance. But...no...that couldn’t be...
He hung up on his sister and dialed Grace’s number, hands shaking. Voicemail.
“Ry...please call me back. It’s urgent. I love you.”
He called again.
And again.
And again.
He never picked up.
And he never would. It was right there on the screen. Science Officer: Dr. Ryland Grace.
Sebastian passed out.
He had been in and out of sleep for the next three days, hoping, praying that it was just a horrible dream. But he knew it wasn’t. It was real.
His soulmate, the love of his life, was in space.
Sebastian never got to say goodbye.
And now he was receiving voicemails from a ghost. Was there anything else the universe could throw at him?
Probably.
Fuck.
He needed to delete the voicemail. He needed to get out of bed before Laura arrived. He needed to...he needed to...he needed to talk to Grace. He needed to know he was okay.
Saved Message
“Sebastian–” he closed his eyes, why was he listening to it again? Ghosts shouldn’t be leaving voicemails.
Sebastian scrubbed at his eyes. He was not going to go see the ghost. That would be a very bad idea. It would hurt, and not accomplish anything. The ghost would look at him with pity, and he didn’t want to be pitied. He was not going to go see the ghost.
But...he could call the ghost back. See what it wanted. Make sure it knew that he didn’t want to hear from it ever again.
That was a bad idea.
And yet...
“Sebastian...Hey...”
“Mia.”