Chapter Text
Kay didn't expect catching feelings for her bestfriend, he girl bestfriend. She doesn't know what to do anymore, she knew this is wrong but she can't help herself from falling deeper for her.
She's always been there for Kay, always been attentive, affectionate, and kind. What is there to not lobe about her, right?
She's hopelessly inlove with her bestfriend and she hated the fact she can't stop herself from falling in love. It's wrong, it's a sin, why must she feel this way? She'll go to hell. She doesn't wanna go to hell.
She also despised the idea of her bestfriend getting together with someone else. She couldn't handle seeing her with another person, she knew it's greed, but something about that idea doesn't seem like a bad idea.
She's laying down down on her bed, staring at her ceiling. Processing her feelings, and it's not going well in her head, it's worse than anything else. She's imagining her doing things with her girl bestfriend—kissing her, touching her, imagining what would be her expressions if they made out. But, of course, she brushed it all off. It's lustful, most importantly she's thinking of something intimate to a girl.
That's wrong.
You shouldn't think that way, Kay.
It's disgusting.
It's a girl.
It's a sin.
You'll be a sinner, Kay.
She's having a dinner with her family, the smell of the chicken, the sauce of the pasta, and the clicking of utensils in the plate filled the room. They all have their own world, Kay is talking to her cousin, then that kind of conversation is heard from the elders in the table.
“Have you heard that Lorraine's daughter just came out as a lesbian earlier?” with a hint of disgust and mockery on the elder's voice.
“How disgusting.”
“Kids nowadays have completely gone insane.”
“May she repent from it, it's not too late.”
Kay is frozen in her seat. She doesn't understand how becoming a person you are can be so sinful. She's just.. being honest to herself. It's wrong, but at least she knew and accepted herself.
What are talking about Kay?
Of course it's wrong.
She's just confused.
She doesn't understand what she's talking about.
Kay is sitting beside her friend, Blaire. Eating in the swings in the middle of the night. She had asked her friend to go out because she wants fresh air. Then she didn't expect what she's about to ask her friend.
“Blaire do you think it's wrong to love another girl when you're a girl yourself?”
And then—silence.
What were you thinking, Kay?
Of course, it's wrong.
Blaire wouldn't—
“Of course, not.”
Kay was stunned, she stared at Blaire, speechless.
“You know I don't really get why people think it's wrong. It's just people loving someone, what's wrong with that?”
Kay stood up and walked away still speechless. She— she don't know what kind of answer she expected Blaire to say, she wanted her to agree, but also she hope that she'll oppose, both feels wrong to her.
“Hey wait for me!”
Kay ignored her friend, she continued walking away until she reached her house. She went to her room, locked her door, and let her body to drop itself on the bed. She buried her face on the pillow, and—nothing. She doesn't know what to do. She couldn't understand what Blaire had just said. She doesn't understand anything anymore.