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THE DOOR BURSTING open was all the warning Awareness got before a small green missile launched itself at him where he was sitting on his bed. He barely had enough time to twist around and open his arms to catch the boy that looked all of five as Nightmare flung himself into Awareness's arms howling loudly enough to be heard over the music playing through his headphones. The eight-year-old closed his arms around Nightmare and held him, rocking them both back and forth on autopilot as he struggled to switch gears from "chill out so Thomas doesn't have a meltdown over the awfulness of carrots again" to "Ni is Big Time Upset and needs comfort."
"I've got'cha kiddo," he murmured when the howling began to taper down into gulping sobs. "Steady, steady... can you try an' breathe with me? Yeah, nice and slow and steady.... S'okay if it doesn't work right off, we'll keep trying... just match me, yeah? I got'cha...."
Slowly, very slowly, Nightmare began to follow the rhythm of breath that Awareness laid out for him. Awareness kept up the breathing and the soft encouragement, rubbing the kid's back gently and slowly to encourage him to relax and breathe, until he was just barely sniffling.
"There we go, good job," he praised when Nightmare sniffled, swallowed, and let out a long, slow breath. "Feeling a bit better, spunky?"
"I guess," Nightmare mumbled, burrowing his wet face into Awareness's shirt.
"Wanna tell me what got you so upset?"
"Vi hates me now."
Awareness frowned. "Vi", or Vision as he had taken to calling himself, was Nightmare's split-off twin and other half. He could be loud and dramatic, much like Nightmare himself could, and would even shout things he didn't mean sometimes when he got upset, but Awareness doubted that Vision really hated his brother, no matter what he might have said in the moment. Still... "What happened?"
"Was playin' knights with Missus Floppybottom as th' princess," Nightmare mumbled, fingers unclenching from Awareness's shirt only to grip on tighter a moment later. "Vi was on the attack, and I was defending, but when I stepped back I tripped and fell on top'a her an' she got r-ripped...."
"Ouch, that must have been very upsetting for both of you," Awareness said, pausing when Nightmare shrugged. "No?"
"S'just a toy, right?" Nightmare whispered. "Tha's what Th-thinker said... but Vi got all upset at him, and at me for ripping her even though I didn't mean to... didn't even ask if I was okay, either of 'em...."
"Are you okay?" Awareness asked immediately, trying not to frown at the news that neither Thinker nor Vision had checked to see if Nightmare was hurt. "Any bruising or blood from when you tripped or landed?"
"I don't think so," Nightmare said slowly. "I fell on top of Missus Floppybottom, so landing didn't really hurt, even though she got ripped.... Vi yelling at me and saying he hates me hurt worse, but in my chest instead of on my butt."
"I'm glad you're not too badly hurt, kiddo," Awareness murmured, making a mental note to consult Secrecy about this. All the Sides reacted differently to things like injury, and he remembered how the King had always gotten nasty physical wounds from emotional attacks, something to do with being the keeper of little Thomas's ego.... He'd thought that part had gone to Vision since he definitely seemed to yearn for praise and approval more than Nightmare did, but what if they both had it? "And I wouldn't put too much weight on Vision's yelling. You know he tends to yell a lot of things he doesn't mean when he's upset and he'll apologize eventually."
And if he didn't decide to come and apologize on his own, Awareness would make sure he did. Letting that kind of resentment and upset sit and fester wasn't gonna do any of them any good, least of all Thomas. Their Center got all kinds of out of sorts whenever his Sides were on the outs with each other.
"Maybe," Nightmare mumbled, sniffling again. "'Noia thinks he really means it this time, though."
Awareness thought a very naughty word very quietly in his head. Paranoia was quick to assume the worst of everything and everyone, skittish and twitchy and preferring to hide in the shadows rather than socialize with anyone, the sole carrier of Thomas's greatest fears. It was an unenviable burden and one he tried to make sure not to force Paranoia to shoulder alone, but his very nature made the fearful Side distrust all of the others at least a little. Thinker and Awareness had the best success in calming him down when he got worked up into a panic, but if he got to Feeler first then the two of them created a feedback loop that was hard to break them (and, by extension, Thomas) out of.
"'Noia tends to assume the worst of anything, remember?" he said aloud, stroking a hand comfortingly down Nightmare's back. "It's not his fault, it's just how his function pushes him to think and react to everything, but it does mean he's more likely to be wrong."
"But what if he's right this time?" Nightmare whispered, and Awareness felt his chest tighten with the hopeless pain in the little Side's voice. "What if Vi really does h-hate me fo-forever and n-never wants t' s-see me again? What if... w-what if..."
"What if he stomped off to his room and flopped onto his bed to cry out his upset just like you?" Awareness asked, ruffling Nightmare's hair. "Or went to Feeler for comfort, since it sounds like Thinker wasn't being very nice or understanding about what upset you both? And what if you help me sneak into his room to get Mrs Floppybottom so I can fix the rip?"
"He'll notice she's gone," Nightmare warned, though he was pulling back enough to look up at Awareness with interest. "Any time one of our littler toys breaks, we always hold a vigil for them t' honor the sa-cri-fice before we bury 'em in the 'Magination. An' Missus Floppybottom is Vi's favorite, so he'll be keeping a real close eye on her."
"He has to sleep sometime," Awareness pointed out, feeling a brief flare of envy for Vision and all of the other Sides getting to sleep the way he never could. Hazards of being Awareness meant he was always awake. He shoved the thought aside for the moment and continued, "We'll leave a note for him when we take her to say where she is."
"Like a ransom note?" Nightmare asked, perking up even more. "And a complicated puzzle he has'ta solve to get her back?"
Well... Awareness had just meant to leave a note saying that Mrs Floppybottom had been taken to the "hospital" to "get better" or something suitably playfully pretend like that, but it seemed to be exciting Nightmare to go with the ransom note idea. "You know what? Sure, let's do that. But you'll have to help me create a challenging but fun puzzle for him to solve, one that will take him long enough that I have time to fix the rip properly."
"Okay!" Nightmare agreed, already cheered up by the thought of chaos. Then he paused and wilted again. "But what if he just hates me more for taking her and then starts hating you, too, because you helped?"
"If it looks like he's gonna jump to conclusions like that, I'll make sure and sit him down to talk it out," Awareness promised. "C'mon, let's go see if Secrecy wants to help create the puzzle and cover our tracks."
"Yay, sneaky snake help!"
THAT'S THE LAST time I let you play with Mrs Floppybottom!" Thomas cried dramatically for his camera phone as he ran, the stuffed rabbit he'd borrowed from Talyn clutched to the red sash of the Prince costume. Off to the side, where he could get a proper view of Thomas's performance without risking showing up on camera or being noticed by anyone else in the park, Roman flinched. It was just supposed to be a silly little skit with the Prince character and Nemesis character, a dramatic set-up of a hostage situation with a comedic low-stakes twist at the end, but... the scenario was so familiar, Roman couldn't help but let some things through, it seemed.
"Haven't heard that name in a while," a dark voice hummed from just over his left shoulder, making Roman flinch again. Anxiety, hovering as usual to be a downer and natter on about all the ways things could go wrong with filming, the black clothes and dark eyeshadow a near-faithful match to the outfit Roman had nudged Thomas to choose for the Nemesis aesthetic in a tiny burst of pettiness. When Roman said nothing in response, hoping Anxiety would just drop it and go away, the dour Side shifted position and said, "You, uh, still have her? Not that I care or anything, but like, she was your favorite when we were kids, right?"
"Was that something you got from Paranoia or something stolen from Awareness?" Roman snapped before he could think, and then cursed himself when Anxiety stiffened. They never talked about Awareness and avoided mentioning Paranoia as if just saying the word would cause Anxiety to revert to that state from before Awareness sacrificed himself to counter and contain the out of control personification of unmitigated terror response. His voice just as stiff as Anxiety's posture, Roman conceded to say, "If you must know, yes, I still have her. No longer in pristine condition, of course, but every rip or tear she ever got was miraculously repaired during the night."
Roman had long thought it must have been some final remnant magic from Awareness lingering in her from that first time, when Remus (Nightmare) had torn her during their play and then bunnynapped her in the night with a ransom note and a puzzle. He'd spent hours trying to work through that puzzle before finally going to Logan (Thinker) for help, only to find her in Awareness's custody, freshly mended and returned with a gentle admonishment to make up with his brother. He'd promised he would, but then Paranoia had thrown a fit... and Awareness had died... and Patton (Feeler) had banished the Bad Sides to the Subconscious to protect Thomas....
"Imagine that," Anxiety muttered, the words breaking Roman out of his spiral of memory. There was something off about his voice, something more wistful and almost melancholy in the place of the usual sarcasm, but before Roman could turn to address it and the Side it came from, Anxiety said, "Welp, that's a wrap for this skit. I'm gonna go find some less annoying company. Don't let Thomas get mugged on the way home walking after dark."
"It's three blocks!" Roman protested, but when he turned Anxiety had already sunk out. Whatever. As if he was the annoying one! Roman headed over to where Thomas was bent over his phone splicing together the video clips and audio he'd taken into the right order to make narrative sense. They could get that done and the video posted quickly enough before heading home well before sunset.
Anxiety and his weirdness would keep for another day.