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"Win, I have a random question."
"Hmm?"
There's a slight pause. A tick between one heartbeat and the next. Then, soft as can be, "Have you ever thought about dating again?"
Win slowly looks up from where he was idly scrolling through his phone, and his gaze meets Risa's across her kitchen counter where they've decided to spend the rest of the night just talking about anything and everything. Risa is bathed in the soft, golden glow of the lights beneath her kitchen cabinets. She's resting her chin in her hand, and Win feels pinned in place by her eyes. She's watching him, waiting, as he tries to get his thoughts in order to respond.
Her question is innocent—a throwaway—something to keep the conversation going. Win doesn't actually know how they got to this point in the conversation, but somehow, their working dinner at Risa's place ended with Risa offering him a cool drink. At that point, they started just talking about everything. Mostly about life outside the esteemed halls of the senate, but also about their families, friends, and commiseration on how busy they both were that they barely had time for themselves.
An innocent question. A throwaway. Win isn't expected to answer. Still, it cracks open a vault in his chest that he thought he'd long sealed. He knows Risa will accept if he changes the subject and will never bring it up again if he asks, but somehow, tonight, in this little space, something compels him to be honest.
"Well," he starts. Stops. Breathes. Risa waits in that endlessly patient way of hers, not overbearing, but still strong. Much like how a river slowly erodes its banks, changing its course over time. Risa carves out a path and they all have no choice but to go with her.
Win would absolutely follow her anywhere.
He finally lets out a low huff, a rueful smile gracing his face. "Honestly, I really thought I'd given up on the idea of dating and marriage altogether. I mean, I'm not opposed, but at my age…" He trails off, trying to find the right words to express what he's feeling. "It's just…ang daming consideration talaga. Lalo na't we're public figures."
Risa accepts his response with a nod, seemingly deep in thought as well. "That's true," she echoes, agreeing, a sigh leaving her lips as she looks away and stares almost meditatively at the kitchen sink. Win follows her line of sight. The sink is still full of dirty dishes, evidence of their "working" dinner where they didn't really get much work done, but Win doesn't mind. Not one bit. Not when they're sitting together like this, across from one another, barely two feet of space between them. It somehow feels too close, yet still too far. All at once.
Win continues watching her, waiting, mesmerized. Here, in this private little cocoon they've found themselves in, they can just. Be. They can pretend, in this little sliver of time, that they're not Senators Risa Hontiveros and Sherwin Gatchalian.
Here, in their little bubble, they're just.
Risa and Win.
"Ikaw," he finds himself saying, a slight crack in his voice. Nerves are seeping through his tone as Risa turns her attention back to him. The corner of her lips are upturned slightly, a sweet little smile gracing her features. Features that have only gotten more beautiful despite the passage of time. "Ikaw naman?"
"What about me?" She asks, her voice soft. Warm. Like a hug during a rainy day in January.
"Have you thought about dating again?" He asks her, voice still a little shaky. He can't lie. He's nervous about what she'll say.
"I have," she admits. Honest. Firm. That's just who she is. "I mean, not always. Of course kailangan ko mag focus on the kids dati. Pero, alam mo yun, ngayon na malaki na sila, I admit the idea has crossed my mind." Then, Risa sighs, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Pero, yun nga, like you said, mahirap. Lalo na for us."
Win nods. "With our work…it's challenging talaga. Gusto natin mag serve ng public, pero the level of scrutiny we're under…kakaiba. Ngayon palang hini-himay-himay na nila bawat salita at kilos natin. What more of a partner, di ba?"
Risa shakes her head at that. "I mean, yes, but it's not just about our line of work, though malaking factor yun. I meant. You and me. Specifically."
Win feels like he's been glued to the chair. "Anong ibig mo sabihin?"
Risa lets out a soft chuckle. "I mean na any partner you or I have will be put under so much scrutiny, considering na biyuda ako for a long time na, and ikaw, you've never been married. No offense—"
"None taken," he quips with a laugh.
"—so if we go public with a partner, karamihan ay maiintriga talaga. Everyone will try and find every bit of information available about them to use for their agenda. Bawat pag hinga nila ay may masasabi. It'll be hard lalo na if ang magiging partner natin is from the private sector or a private citizen, kasi it'll put the spotlight on them. Ako, I can handle it, and I'm sure you can too, pero it doesn't erase the fact na mahirap magka-relationship with the level of scrutiny we're always under."
"I agree," Win says. "Pero, come on, anyone would be lucky to be with you."
"Sus, you're just saying that," Risa says with a laugh.
"No, I mean it," Win replies emphatically. "You're smart. Beautiful. Headstrong. You never back down from doing the right thing. You fight for the people, for the country. Kung sino man ang maging partner mo would only be so lucky."
Risa shrugs, and Win's chest tightens at the slight sadness she exudes with that one gesture. "Kaya ko ipaglaban ang bayan, but this…me…it's still a huge risk," she says softly. "I mean, don't get me wrong, ah. I'd like to try again. Even my kids approve of me trying again. Maybe my old heart has strength to try and love a second time. But, Win, at our age, I don't think we can afford to even date around."
"Well, what if you didn't have to date someone from the private sector. Maybe someone in public service din ang makakatuluyan mo," Win finds himself saying, words spilling out of his mouth at a speed he has never done before. Me. Notice me.
Risa makes a face at that. "Sino? Colleagues natin? If you haven't noticed, Win, most of our colleagues are either married or in a relationship."
Win lets out a shy smile at that, and he takes a deep breath before he says, "Not all of them."
That confuses Risa, he can tell, because her eyebrows furrow cutely. She's thinking. Eliminating. "I mean, Win, sino pa ba ang…" she trails off, and Win sees the pin drop as her eyes widen in realization. "Oh."
Understanding and awe bloom across her face. Win waits patiently, waits for her to say out loud what he's always been too shy to admit, even to himself. Waits for her to acknowledge this beautiful little thing that's them.
Hell, he's waited long enough. He can wait a little more.
"Sherwin Gatchalian," Risa finally starts, a coy smile accompanying the teasing tone in her voice, and Win's heart races at the way his name rolls down her tongue. "Are you actually asking me on a date?"
He steels himself. Now is not the time to chicken out. "Well, yes." He finally says. "In the most roundabout way possible, Risa Hontiveros, I am asking you on a date. With me. Just in case that wasn't clear."
Risa laughs at that, loud and melodious. It's a happy laugh, Win can tell. He's heard her laugh so many times that he can categorize each laugh. All different. All special. All Risa.
"Well, what do you say? Can we give this—us—a try?" Win finally asks, and he makes his way over to the other side of the kitchen counter to stand in front of her. He's finally baring his heart out, the least he can do is stand in front of her and face her head on.
Risa hums, looking like she's thinking it over, but her smile is radiant. Win feels not one sliver of fear. Even if she does turn him down, it won't ever change a thing between them. He'll always be there for her, come hell or high water.
"I think," she pauses, and her hand reaches out to grasp his. Their fingers intertwine, and Win's breath catches in his throat. He bets that if he looks at his smartwatch right now, his heartrate will be through the roof.
"You think…?" He prompts, his thumb starting to trace little circles on the skin of her hand.
Suddenly, Risa pulls him closer, and Win bites down on a yelp that threatens to escape his throat.
"I think," she hums. "Yes."
Win feels his own heartbeat skyrocket from that one word. He swallows. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, yes," Risa says, emphatic, firm. No room for argument. He knows that tone well. "I'd like to try."
And in a move so unlike him that he surprises even himself, Win leans in and presses a kiss to her hairline. "Thank you," he murmurs as he pulls away. "That's all I can ask. To try."
"Then let's give us a good try," Risa responds, and she wraps her arms around his middle. "But, let's keep this to ourselves muna. No one can know just yet."
Win wholeheartedly agrees with her—and even though he wants nothing more than to stand in front of the Senate Hall, in front of God and this nation, to shout that Risa Hontiveros agreed to a date with him—he wants to keep this private too. He doesn't want anyone else digging their noses into what is theirs, and he also doesn't want anything to detract the public from the very real issues that they're all facing.
"I agree," he finally voices out to her, and she relaxes. "This, us, is just for you and me. No one else has a say in what we do, and I want to do right by you."
"Then that's all we can do for now," she says, pulling him down for a hug.
Neither of them know what the future holds, but as Win wraps his arms around her and breathes in, he feels almost at peace. He whispers, both a prayer and a promise, that no matter what, they'll make it through. He affirms to himself that he'll remain by her side, to support her, and to give her the space to continue growing.
Until then. He has a date to plan.