Chapter Text
Dan sat by the window, the heavy bass lines of Muse blasting through his ears. The loud music was his shitty attempt to distract himself from the two things that had been rattling around his head:
1. The fact he was about to meet his favourite YouTuber, who is, coincidentally, the really cute boy he’s been skyping for the past few months.
2. Inside of his backpack, chucked in alongside his toothpaste and socks, is the red and blue suit that every person in the United Kingdom could recognise upon sight.
He leaned back on the uncomfortable seat as he watched the English countryside blur past him. Dan had been watching AmazingPhil’s videos since he was sixteen, right around the time he started doing this… side gig. That’s what he liked to call it, even if the only person who knew this was himself.
The suit had been in and out of his bag multiple times as he was packing. Would it be too obvious to Phil if Spider-Man suddenly appeared in Manchester after the masked hero had been primarily in the Reading area for the past two years? But if something terrible happened and he couldn’t be there to help, he’d never forgive himself. Eventually, Dan decided that he’d pack the suit just in case, all while hoping he wouldn’t need it; unless he absolutely had to be Spider-Man on this trip, he just wanted to be Dan Howell, the dorky 18-year-old who stalked Phil Lester on the internet until he replied.
And today, within the next hour, they would be meeting each other for the first time.
This was the thing he was most focused on right now. What if Phil thought that Dan wasn’t as good in person? He still wondered every day why the AmazingPhil actually spoke to him. Surely there was a much better guy or girl that he’d be far happier with, compared to Dan, who was messed up in more ways than one. Not that Phil truly knew that, yet. He hadn’t exactly wanted to spill his deepest, darkest secrets to the guy and scare him away before they even had a chance to meet.
The sounds of Muse continued to reverberate throughout Dan’s ears as he zoned out, barely noticing the miles flying past the train window. Eventually though, the rapid overthinking became more focused as the train pulled into Manchester Picadilly station.
Dan felt glued to his seat. When is a suitable time to get off the train? He didn’t want to be the first person and seem too eager. No, he would wait to be one of the last to get off: accentuate the cool, mysterious emo vibe he desperately attempted to maintain.
After letting most of the other passengers leave the carriage, he took a deep breath and stood up, fixing his hair before stepping out onto the platform. His eyes scanned the train station until… finally.
They locked eyes across the platform and it felt like Dan’s heart tried to escape from his chest.
Phil was even more beautiful in person, more defined than the five pixels that represented him on Dan’s laptop screen every night. His black hair looked freshly dyed and perfectly styled; almost so perfect that Dan briefly wondered if it was even his real hair. But no, surely if Phil wore a wig, that would have come up in one of their many conversations? Then again, Dan was not exactly forthcoming with his own secrets, perhaps Phil had some things he wanted to keep close to his chest too. The chest which was currently clad in a blue and green plaid top which complimented his stunning blue eyes that twinkled as he looked at Dan.
For a while, all Dan could do was stare at him. He almost wasn’t sure that the boy in front of him could be real. How could someone look so perfect while simultaneously being a living, breathing person? He didn’t think it was possible. It was like the world disappeared around them, only the two of them existing in their own bubble.
Phil was first to break the stunned silence.
“Hey,” he said, with an awkward little half-wave.
Dan was still staring but forced himself to snap out of it.
“Hi,” he responded, trying to get his tongue to work.
Phil, seemingly ignoring what felt to Dan the terrible awkwardness he always managed to exude in social situations, walked forward, wrapping his arms around the younger boy.
For a quick second, Dan’s hands hovered. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had hugged him like that: with so much warmth and joy. Eventually, he allowed himself to reciprocate the hug, hands pulling Phil even closer as he closed his eyes, hoping to remember this moment, and this feeling of happiness and safety, forever.
“I have been waiting for this for so long,” Dan confessed quietly as they broke apart, eyes not quite meeting Phil’s.
Phil smiled at him. “Me too,” he assured Dan with such sincerity that Dan honestly felt his heart skip a beat.
Dan could safely say that the first day he ever spent with Phil was one of the best days of his life. He allowed himself to tuck away his constant guilt and shame, just for a bit, as they explored Manchester together.
Phil made even the most mundane things fun; he would point and laugh at every weird shop sign as they walked through the streets, or wave at pigeons that looked in their general direction. Dan had never been around someone who exuded that much joy and light, and it was infectious.
Towards the end of the day, they finally headed to Phil’s family home.
“Mum and Dad are away, so it’s just us here,” he explained as Dan followed him into his bedroom.
Dan was in Phil Lester’s bedroom! Never in the last two years did he think that sentence would become true for him.
As he looked around, he saw objects that he recognised from a few videos: the pictures messily pinned up on the wardrobe; the famous lion plushie; the blue, green and white bedspread crumpled up in a ball on the corner of his bed. He noticed other things too: a bookshelf with an assortment of random books; a Kill Bill poster and other miscellaneous stuff. However, his heart stopped beating when one picture in particular caught his eye.
Spider-Man.
Dan couldn’t place where or when it was taken. He was swinging from a building; the picture taken mid-air. The tiny part of himself that wasn’t panicking noted that it was one of the better photos he’d seen of himself, but most of his brain was screaming. He stared at the photo, his face getting hot.
Phil seemed to notice him looking at the picture.
“Do you like Spider-Man?”
Dan swallowed, attempting to bring some moisture to the Sahara Desert forming in his mouth.
“H-he seems alright, haven’t really been following much to do with him,” he eventually stuttered out, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible, but couldn’t resist asking, “what about you?”
A massive grin formed across Phil’s face.
“I think he’s AWESOME!” Phil exclaimed, “I love that there’s someone around England protecting the citizens, doing what’s right.”
Dan’s heart was still pounding, syncing with the throbbing sensation forming in his head. Yeah sure, people thanked him while he was in the suit, but he’d never heard admiration to that extent, especially from someone that meant so much to him and was one of his main sources of happiness.
Dan nodded.
“Yeah, that’s a good point,” he allowed, “he does do a better job than the police,”
Dan didn’t like talking himself up at all, but that was just a proven fact.
Phil jumped onto his bed, patting the spot next to him for Dan to sit down.
“My friend PJ took that picture a few months ago when he was in Reading for something,” he explained, “he was just walking down the street and Spider-Man swung overhead,”
Dan did not know how to respond.
“Wow,” he said.
Real smooth.
Phil put his arm around Dan, who leaned into him, a small smile forming on his face. Phil seemed to be a naturally touchy person, and whilst Dan couldn’t normally say the same, today he’d discovered just how much he liked Phil’s tactile nature. They had held hands under the table at Starbucks when they were in Manchester, which made Dan’s heart nearly explode, but it didn’t even come close to the feeling he had when Phil kissed him for the first time later in the day. He always thought that the description of fireworks when you kiss someone you like was bullshit, but he was proven wrong. It might have become the best moment of his life.
Dan found that the Spider-Man talk from Phil, after the panic began to subside, gave him some kind of new confidence. A part of him enjoyed the praise, which he’d rarely received growing up. He knew that later he would overthink Phil’s love for Spider-Man into oblivion, but for now, he let himself enjoy it.
“Do you like Spider-Man more than me?” he joked, hiding a small amount of insecurity behind his usual sarcasm and humour.
Phil snorted.
“As great as Spider-Man is, he’s nowhere near as pretty as you Dan,” he said, a smile forming on his face.
Dan wanted to snog him senseless already, but he wasn’t done teasing Phil quite yet.
“Wait, how do you know how pretty Spider-Man is if he’s always in a mask?” he asked, trying to ignore the blush spreading across his cheeks.
“I don’t have to know what he looks like to know that I think you’re the prettiest boy in the world, Dan Howell,”
At that point, Dan couldn’t resist any longer, turning his head and pulling Phil in for a kiss.
As Phil reciprocated, all Dan could think was that he didn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment other than right there.