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Alterna had always been a bittersweet place for Captain.
It reminded them of many things. Of humanity’s downfall, of their own faults. Of their past. It reminded them that no matter how hard one tried to preserve something, nothing was infallible. That arrogance and complacency will get you nowhere, and that even the strongest people had weaknesses they simply couldn’t ignore.
Often, they ended up spending most of their time there alongside the Squid Sisters. They did enjoy the company; it gave them something to do as well as a sense of importance that they hadn’t experienced in some time now. Of course, that wasn’t the only reason they spent time in Alterna.
Agent Three, their protege, also happened to consume a lot of space in their mind.
The octoling reminded the inkling of themself in ways that they both relished in and disliked. She shared their drive, their sheer will to do good despite having been about as inexperienced as they themself had been at the start of their own work. She was resilient, smart, and brave. But they were also young and made mistakes, often holding herself to standards they simply didn’t have the experience to reach just yet. Yet. Captain still remembered how hard they were on themself initially, and sure as hell did not wish that upon her. She was too good for it. She deserved to be treated kindly when constantly faced with trials that only wanted to harm her.
“You’ve been thinking up there a while, huh?”
They were pulled from their reminiscing by Marie, who had settled on the railing beside them. She was twirling the handle of her umbrella round and round through her palms, head tilted slightly as she scrutinized their expression.
“You look a little… pink, Captain. Are you coming down with something? You have been coughing a lot these past few weeks…”
They shook their head hastily, shrugging with one shoulder before turning away. They had been feeling pretty awful for a while now but that was none of Marie’s business. She had to think it was just a stubborn cold, nothing else. Not at all. They gestured to the snow below them before tugging their scarf tighter.
Marie hummed, seemingly placated, before a cough rose up their throat to only add to their argument. They hadn’t meant to cough like that. It tasted like an odd mix of familiar ink and unfamiliar… Was that perfume?
They looked over at her again, suddenly feeling quite paranoid, though they tried to not show it on their face.
She blinked back at them, the slight trace of a frown on her face. “You can go home, Captain. I can-”
Their hands interrupted her. ‘Are you wearing a new perfume?’
“No?” she said, shaking her head. She somehow looked more confused than she did previously.
Captain shook their head again. ‘Three will be returning soon,’ they signed, ‘I’ll wait for them.’
Marie closed her umbrella and turned to look at them pointedly. “And then you’ll head home?”
They shrugged non-committally. ‘Sure.’
“Okay then. Take care of yourself, Captain. We need everyone in top form.”
She tapped down the stairs, leaving them alone looking out at the ruins.
They coughed again. The taste in their mouth was bitter. They muffled the noise in their sleeve, other hand gripping whiteknuckled onto the cold metal railing. They didn’t need to cause worry. They needed to- they all needed to focus on Three right now. They stared at the kettle she had entered, as if their watching would ensure they returned in good health and spirits.
She was far more capable than she thought she was, they had found, despite her previous inexperience. She had been able to learn quickly, easily adapting to any challenge. She had even taught them a few things. She was leagues above the fighter that Cuttlefish had seen in her.
All this was to say that even though they often worried about her, they knew that she would always come back. And whether or not they succeeded, they wanted to be there.
Three always fostered a fascinating glow about them when they emerged victorious from one of O.R.C.A’s trials. Perhaps it was the sparkle in her eyes, or the way they twirled their Splattershot around in some fanciful manoeuvre as if showing off to the foe they had bested despite being back here, with them. Or maybe it was the way their cropped tentacles seemed to buzz with energy, bouncing at her shoulders in a way that framed their face just right. Or maybe it was-
Another cough. It felt harsher this time, deep and painful like they were a cat hacking up a hairball. Perhaps they really did need to go home. And then they coughed again. Panic shot through their spine and it would've startled them upright if not for the way they were hunched over the railing. There- there really was something stuck in their throat. They could feel it moving as air forced itself out of their lungs, and it almost made it difficult to breathe. At least until their fits of coughing stilled, and they were left with something small, wet, limp in their mouth. They spat it into their hand, grimacing. Forcing themself to stop shaking, they inspected it out of a morbid curiosity.
A small lump of coagulated ink sat innocent in their palm, sun glinting off it sweetly. Strange, but not… unheard of for them, though it would’ve been a while. There was a reason they didn’t speak much. But what they noticed next was startling. A single petal. Hued a deep shocking magenta in its center and tapering out to a pale, sickly yellow. They peeled it from the gold ink with the very tips of their fingers, holding it up as they let the ink drip onto the metal grate beneath their feet and further onto the snow below. It was small, only a little larger than the nail on their thumb once fully unfurled.
A strange sense of dread overcame them.
They knew what this meant. Sure, they'd been denying it since the day they met Three, but this was… this was bad. Bad as in horrendous. They'd been coughing for, what- maybe three weeks? How long did that- No. Surely- surely it was fine. They had to be fine. They were the Captain, they were the one who had gone through this before and they needed to be there for-
“Captain!”
It was Three. Her voice chimed across the facsimile landscape, sweet as a bell. She was waving from atop a kettle quite a ways away, her Smallfry bouncing in happy rings around her. They steeled their expression into something that could hopefully be considered normal and put together. They clenched the petal in their fist and shoved it into their pocket. They couldn’t deal with this right now. They wiped their painted hand on their trousers before heading down the stairs towards camp.
‘I knew you’d be fine,” they motioned once she was close enough.
“Yeah! And- and I was! Thanks for the tips with the dualies, they really helped me out there, aha…” She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly as she smiled, fangs peeking over the bottom of her lips.
They felt something strange rising in their throat again.
‘You already knew what to do,’ they shrugged, after a pause that felt awkward. ‘I was just reminding you. It’s easy to forget under pressure. Good job at keeping your head.’
Three laughed a little, their eyes flitting away from Captain. Had- had they done something wrong? Was there ink on their face? “Nah, I… probably would’ve forgotten if it weren’t for you. So thanks! Really. You… Honestly, it’s been really reassuring having your help. I mean, after everything you've done, I mean it’s- it’s an honour, right?”
They smiled at her. Though it probably came across as more weary than proud. Maybe Marie was right.
They coughed into their elbow before replying, ‘No need to thank me. It’s my job.’
Three nodded, before promptly slumping onto one of the boxes at camp. “Ahh, I’m so tired…”
‘You can call it for today. I’m going home now, anyway. Tell everyone I’ve headed off when you check in with them.’
“Okay! See you soon, Cap. Thanks again.”
They nodded, waving a hand behind them but not risking a glance back. Their throat felt like shit.
──── ❀ ────
As soon as they got into their shoebox apartment, Captain flopped face first onto their bed. They were typically quite fussy about where they kept their clothes, but they stripped into their under layers with no care regarding where on the floor their hat, scarf, and trousers ended up. They kicked their boots off with a surprising amount of struggle considering the large amount of nothing they had done that day. Waiting, thinking, idle chatter with the sisters about Cuttlefish’s possible location, dabbles of research, and then another large helping of waiting around. Their mood was far more sullied with the realisation that, of course, things were never easy. Of course they had Hanahaki.
It was a fairly rare diagnosis, and despite the rock they constantly lived under, they had heard of a few cases on the news. Mostly the ones that had ended badly, as those were the ones that people were interested in hearing about. Dwelling over how much society obsessed over suffering could wait until later, though. They currently didn’t have the capacity to think about it- or anything, really- too hard. Deep down they knew what this meant- but they also possessed the naivety to hope that if they ignored it it would just go away on its own. That had worked for ninety-nine percent of their problems in the past. It would be fine. They have gotten through worse. They had saved Inkopolis, they can get through some shitty flowers! As much as they hated the idea of bed rest, they knew that Marie was probably right. Some bed rest and they’d be fine. They had to be.
Flopping onto their back, they squeezed their eyes shut. They did feel bad that they couldn’t be more of a help in regards to the whole Alterna situation. They still weren’t quite sure why everyone had insisted that they stood at the sidelines. They were capable of helping out more than they currently were despite being ill and everyone around them knew that. Hell, they were the one to have saved Callie!
Deep down they knew it because they had other responsibilities, and the fact that they were still recovering in some ways, but- Three was their equal. And honestly, if it came down to either Captain or Three being hurt in the ways they’d experienced before, they’d much rather it be them. They were already apparently down for the count as well as down bad enough that their body was once again trying to kill them from the inside out. There was no need to have her be hurt, too. And it- it would be nice to fight alongside her. To see them fighting with the same proficiency they did, in sync, a partner they could rely on in times of need. They didn’t deserve her thanks.
Unfortunately, those fantasies of fighting side by side in a totally normal way had to be benched until they got over their stupid feelings. Bile was building up in their throat again and they groaned as they reached for the bottle of water that sat on their bedside. Chugging at their water didn't seem to help, but they didn’t feel quite like getting out of bed yet. They yawned. Sleep couldn’t hurt.
──── ❀ ────
It had been almost a whole week since anyone had heard much from Captain, and Three could tell that everyone was getting antsy about it. Callie constantly complained about her once again increased workload and Marie kept checking her phone. It wasn’t uncommon for them to go off the grid, she’d heard, but they tended to give people some sort of warning first. Three wasn’t quite sure what to think about the whole situation.
I mean, of course she was worried about them. Marie had mentioned that they weren’t too well. But they also knew that Captain was more than capable of taking care of themself, at least on the battlefield. And yeah, she admired them, and cared about them, but she didn’t think it was her place to be poking her nose in their business.
She stared at their contact in her phone. ‘Captain 🫡’ stared back at her. They had added the little emoji onto the end of their name when they had put the number in themself. They had been smiling at the time, which was also something she had realised was a rare occurrence for them.
She had been under the assumption that smiles and such were normal from them from how many she had received, but apparently that was a belief unique to her. Three smiled slightly, but their brows were still knitted into a tight frown. She- she didn’t want to bother them. Marie had been texting them a lot over the last few days and hadn’t received much of a response. But also if there was something wrong she wanted to know. To be able to help them, to at least make up for all of the help they’ve given her throughout their time under their wing.
They sighed, letting their neck fall backwards as she stared up at the printed sky. Captain had always been difficult to read. And she didn’t want to upset them if they were already going through something. But if she was ill, she wouldn’t want to feel like her friends had forgotten about her. They… they were friends, right?
>Hey! I heard you’re ill :( I hope you feel better soon!!! 🐙
No, that was too casual. Delete.
>Hello Captain, Marie told me you weren’t feeling well. Hopefully you get well soon.
Too formal?
>Hey! Heard you weren’t feeling well. If you need anything let me know! Get well soon :)
Maybe that was… okay? I mean, they’re sick, they won’t be reading it too hard, right?
She didn’t want to overthink this more than she already had so they pressed send before quickly turning off their phone. They had kettles to get to, they supposed.
After a few humbling defeats, Three had the resolve to check their phone again. Well, it was more of a distraction from how the faint aches of their losses were still stinging both literally and metaphorically. She was surprised to find a reply waiting for her.
>im fine. thx 4 checking in.
… Well. That was very informative. Thanks, Captain!
She slow-blinked at her phone as if it would somehow morph the text into something more reassuring.
>Are you sure??
She replied before she could think it through properly. She hadn’t messaged them much, let alone about anything personal, so maybe- maybe this was just how they were?
>Not to press you but Marie seems really worried
>Are you sure you don’t need anything? I can pass on a message to the others if you haven’t responded to her yet
>yh i’m sick
>ts kicking my ass lol.
>dont wanna give it to anyone
>let them know im ok
>ill get over it
Still frowning at their phone, Three trotted over from the kettle they were sat on over to Marie and Callie at base camp. They arrived a little breathless to Callie talking about some drama show she’d seen recently, Marie listening and clutching a warm flask in her hands.
“Uhh… Captain messaged me,” Three said, “they told me that they’re ill, and it's ‘kicking their ass’ but they’re fine.” Their words, unfortunately, came out sounding more like a question than a factual statement.
“They did?” Marie sounded almost shocked, though she masked it well.
Callie leant forwards, awe apparent on her face. “No way! I’m glad they’re alive, at least.”
Three nodded, trying to not overthink the sisters’ tones. “Yep. I asked them if they needed anything but they just said they’d ‘get over it.’”
Marie hummed. “They’re not the type to disappear without letting anyone know first, so that clears up a few things.”
“I- I’ve not replied yet, if you want me to tell them anything. Did they reply to… you, at all?”
“No,” she said, raising an eyebrow as she sipped at her tea. “Let them know that we’re glad that they’re well, and that if they haven’t recovered by the end of the week, we’ll send you over with some supplies.”
“Huh?” Three’s eyes widened to the size of saucepans.
Callie hummed. “Good point. Three, you’ve not exactly… been around long enough to know this, but when the Captain gets ill they usually just… power through it? It’s-”
“It’s stupid,” Marie interjected, rolling her eyes fondly.
“Yeah,” Callie laughed a little, “it is kind of silly of them. They’d get better a lot quicker if they took a few days off. That is to say, the fact that they’re ill and not working themself to the bone is, well, weird? It’d probably be good to send someone to check in on them, make sure they have medicine and food and whatever…”
“That’s right. With Cuttlefish still missing, we need as many hands as we can get. We’ll have to stay here and hold down the fort, unfortunately. Hopefully Captain will be better by then anyways, but you’d be okay with going, right?”
“Sure! Yeah, sure, I can go! Of course!” They agreed, before pulling out their phone to shoot Captain a message.
>Sorry to hear that! I’m happy to hear from you though
>The sisters told me to send their well wishes
>Also if you’re not better by friday I’m coming over with supplies apparently
>If thats okay with you ofc
>sure. thx.
“They say thanks,” she parroted back.
“You can head home now, Three. You’ve had a long day.” Marie offered. “Unless you’re up for a few more rounds?”
They shoved their phone back into their pocket. “I can go for a few more!” She exclaimed with a newfound energy. “Thanks girls!”
The sisters waved her off as she jogged back to the kettle that had been besting her all day.
──── ❀ ────
On Friday afternoon, Agent Three starts the journey to Captain’s apartment. Marie had sent her their address earlier in the morning, as well as a list of a few foods that Captain liked for her to pick up. A shopping bag was resting between their knees, jostling to the rumble of the tube. Despite how simple of a task this was, she felt anxious. They hadn’t ever been to Captain’s place and seeing someone’s home always felt like a rather personal affair, something they weren’t quite sure they had the right to do just yet. How nervous she felt seemed silly. She did much objectively harder things on pretty much a daily basis now, and she had been doing so for at least a few months. She’d known Captain for months, and didn’t even know their favourite foods! How were they entitled to visit their home?! And sure, Captain had always been quiet, the type to keep work as just work. And to Captain, they were probably just work acquaintances.
They found themself zoning out for the majority of the journey, idly nodding her head along to the Deep Cut that was blaring through their headphones. The walk from the station to Captain’s place was only a few minutes, but her nerves were still running rampant. Especially when she arrived at the foot of a run down looking building. Was- was she at the right place? The door was practically falling off its hinges, and while it was pretty normal for Splatsville standards, she had expected somewhere nicer for the inkling who had saved the city next door. Were the sisters not paying them enough? On second thought, Three couldn’t quite remember whether she was being paid at all…
She pulled out her phone as she started the trek up many flights of stairs. She saw that the message she had sent when she left Alterna hadn’t been read yet. She sent another anyway.
>Coming up the stairs now!
And then Three was at Captain’s door, hand poised ready to knock. She swallowed the lump in her throat that she didn’t want to acknowledge was there. Why were they so nervous? They’d spent lots of time with the captain, even if it was just for work. And Marie wouldn’t have suggested she go if it were a bad idea. Sigh. Why did this feel so complicated?
They knocked in a habitual rhythm. “Captain?” She called for good measure, “It’s Three!” God, that was dumb of her. They knew she was coming. Why would she say that?
Silence.
There was no point in… calling them, it’s not like they’d be able to speak. “Captain?” Three called again, voice wavering slightly. “Are you okay?”
She heard a few thuds from beyond the door, and her hearts in her chest thudded in rhythm.
And then the door opened- God, Captain looked like shit.
Despite being two years younger than Captain, she had always been a good amount taller than them. That felt relevant, especially now with how the inkling was half curled over themself, one pale arm wrapped around their chest and gripping onto their tee. Their other hand still gripped the door handle, and their head was craned up to stare at her with a blank expression. Their eyes were tired, and- was that ink smeared across their lips?
Something like panic crossed their face as she met their eyes. Wordlessly, they let the door go and rushed back into their flat with surprising speed, heading around a corner and slamming an interior door shut behind them. Muffled and pained noises of hacking and chesty coughs bled through the thin walls.
They had left the door open. And Three, perhaps predictably, followed into their flat.
She scanned the room. It was a small studio; a door to her left presumably led to the bathroom. A kitchenette sat to her right, and ahead of her lay Captain’s bed. There were a smattering of posters decorating the wall, most of them creased or dog eared. Various articles of clothing were abandoned on the floor and an inky mound of tissues were spilling over from the bin next to their bed. Three set the shopping bag down on a cluttered table that was nestled between the kitchen counter and a shelf serving as an impromptu room divider. The sounds echoing from the bathroom made them wince, so instead she busied herself with sorting out everything she’d brought with her. A pile of various medicines, a pile of food, and a pile of comfort items like tea blends and snacks. The kitchenette was a mess, the sink less of a sink and more a never-ending pile of washing up stacked haphazardly.
Hearing the toilet flush and the tap run, she turned her head to the bathroom door waiting for Captain to emerge in case they wanted to say anything.
“Are you okay?” Three asked softly as the door opened. “I- I mean obviously you’re not. That was a dumb question. If you're throwing up, you need to stay hydrated, I can make some soup, if you want?”
Bleary eyes blinked back at her. ‘I wasn’t throwing up,’ they motioned simply. ‘Some soup would probably be good.’
“You weren’t?” Three asked, confused.
She received a nod in return, before they turned away and flopped face first down onto their bed, apparently not caring what she did.
She hazarded a step closer. “Captain, are you…?”
They gave her a thumbs up, still face planted into their bed. Oooookay. Three did not feel equipped for this in the slightest.
Once the soup was cooking on the stove, Three began to tackle the pile of washing up. Captain was still face-down in bed, but presumably alive if the steady, albeit shuddering, rise and fall of their torso was anything to go by. It felt domestic in a strange way that made her heart flutter. Of course she didn’t enjoy seeing them weak like this, but she was surprised at how easily she had been let in. Of course they were being defensive about it but they hadn’t kicked her out, at least not yet. Ignoring the heat that was slowly rising to her face felt both helpless and pointless. It wasn’t like they were looking.
A few minutes later she toed her way through the partition towards Captain’s bed.
“Can you sit up?”
They didn’t reply, simply tugging themself upright. Three didn’t miss the slight sway as they did.
“It’s ready, it's chicken noodle. Marie told me you liked it…”
They smiled a little, not meeting her eyes. ‘Thanks.’ They took the bowl and grasped the spoon, but before they began eating, Three stopped them.
“I want to check if you- have a fever, if that's okay? Can I touch your forehead?”
Harsh coughs broke the silence that would’ve otherwise been awkward, the force of it shaking the soup around. They gave a tiny nod, setting the bowl down, and Three pressed the back of her hand against their forehead.
“Hmm, you don’t feel too hot…”
More coughing, more convulsing and curling in on themself. Three retracted her hand from their face, holding it up awkwardly before busying themself with reaching for a tissue from the box shoved in a half-open drawer in the bedside. She held it out to them and they took it quickly, hacking into it. She winced again, eyes falling down towards the growing mound by their feet. All various degrees of ink stained.
Time stretched out as she waited for them to collect themself. She handed them another tissue when the hacking didn’t stop. They scrunched it into a tight ball when they were done. ‘How can you tell?’ they finally motioned, wiping their arm across their face.
The question startled Three out of their worrying. “Oh, I- I was… travelling around on my own for a while before I was… recruited, I suppose. I kinda had to learn how to take care of myself. The world doesn't stop just because you’re ill, unfortunately.” She awkwardly laughed a little. “You can eat now. Some energy should help you recover.”
They nodded, staring downwards. Three watched as they took the bowl, and then a few mouthfuls. They didn’t need to finish it, even though that would be ideal. They supposed a little was better than nothing.
“You- you can let me know if you want me to leave, by the way. There’s some medicines for you on the table, some… cough syrup, painkillers, flu tablets, you probably won’t need all of it but I thought it was better to be safe than sorry. Oh, and there’s leftovers in a pot on the stove, too, some snacks, more food… sorry, I’m rambling. If- if you want company, I can stay of course-”
Captain set the bowl on their bedside. They hesitated for a few moments, eyes flickering between the bowl and the floor. ‘You don’t have to stay.’ They signed, eventually. Face, as per usual, unreadable. ‘Thanks for this, but… I think it would be better if you left.’
She couldn’t hide the hurt on her face. And Captain winced, as if her hurt was theirs. “If… if you think that’s best, okay. Just- please, if you get any worse, let someone know. And- and go to the doctors. Coughing up this much ink isn’t a good sign. It’s not normal, Captain. I’m worried- we’re worried about you. Everyone is. Just… Please, don’t be stubborn about this. If you need help, that’s… okay, y’know?”
Captain shook their head with more energy than she had seen from them, eyes going wide for just a second before they were overtaken by another bout of coughing. Loud, shuddering things that seemed to rob them of the ability to do anything else. Three extracted the bowl from their hands and they immediately went to cover their mouth. She reached a hand out to touch their shoulder-
They reacted to the touch as if it were electric, jolting upwards and looking up at Three with a startlingly vicious glare. One hand over their mouth, they stood with an apparent amount of struggle.
‘Go.’ They motioned, free hand stiff with tension. ‘Get out.’
Three was unable to school their expression. She hated the way her eyes pricked but backed away, clutching their hands close to their chest.
“Get… get well soon, Captain.” They said, words reluctant and tight in her throat.
She left the apartment in silence even though she didn’t think it was a good idea.
Captain followed a few paces behind, footsteps uneven on the floor. They shut the door behind her with more force than intended. And then they slumped down against it, unclasping their hand from their mouth. A primrose lay there, half crumpled, whole and blooming.
──── ❀ ────
The next few days could be described as long and hard for Captain, though that was quite frankly being nice about it. They’d been feeling worse since Three visited. She had texted them a few times, asking if they had been to the doctors yet, if the medicine was helping. They hadn’t opened them. Ignoring it felt easier. Felt safer.
They knew that letting her come over was going to be a bad idea. They knew that seeing her was going to make this worse. That was common sense. What they hadn’t realised was how shitty they were going to feel knowing that she was here, and now she wasn’t. Knowing that all of the food they had left in their flat had been brought by her, for them. Because- because she cared. But not in the way they wanted her to.
Cursing themself for being so incapable at treating emotion normally was useless but moping in their own sorrow was comfortable. They were- this was probably going to kill them. They’d realised that by now.
The research they had done had been both helpful and doom-inducing. Usually Hanahaki didn’t progress this quickly. But, of course, because this was Captain, their body had already been a little fucked before this had started. They had never fully gotten over the sanitization, smashing though that awful blender, fighting without a limiter. Perhaps- perhaps the sisters were right to have benched them. They really couldn’t handle anything. They couldn’t even handle flowers. All of that was to say that they didn’t need a doctor. The prognosis was bad either way. They didn’t want to have to sit and listen to someone telling them to get a surgery they most likely wouldn’t be eligible for. Even if it was an option, they didn’t think they would want it. They didn’t want advice from someone who didn’t know them, someone who thought being honest was easy. Because it wasn’t! Nothing was easy!
Regardless of whether or not it was healthy, they kept thinking about her. They were worried. They hadn’t been nice. They hadn’t been thankful. And even though Captain knew that Three would be fine on their own, that they’d be able to complete any task they rose to, Captain… selfishly, they wanted to be there to see it. Her joy was their joy. She- no, she wouldn’t be on her own. She had Marie and Callie and that dumb little Smallfry she was endearingly attached to, and she had a good head on her shoulders. She would be fine. They had taught her well, she didn’t… she didn’t need them, not anymore.
Fuck.
This really was going to be the end of them, wasn’t it?
They laughed, a broken sort of noise. Tears pricked at their eyes. They- they couldn’t stop laughing. All of the things they had done, all of the- all of the lives they had saved, and the one thing to finally kill them would be love.
Truthfully, they couldn’t think of a better way to go.
──── ❀ ────
Captain found themself in Alterna again.
Coming here felt full circle. The same overly bright blue sky blinked back at them despite the odd time of day. If they had to guess it was probably the middle of the night, if the emptiness of the streets and the chill on the way here was anything to believe. Lately, time had felt less like a fact and more like a concept.
They lumbered up the metal staircase by the deserted camp, not bothering to hide their sickness. There was no one here to see it. Each sullied flower that forced itself up their throat was promptly spat right back down into the snow below, slowly eating away at its chilly thickness. Some fresh air would hopefully help them feel better before they inevitably returned to their apartment to continue feeling sorry for themself before... they took a deep breath in, grimacing at the way they shuddered.
Three had made little progress during the time they’d been absent, they noticed. The piles of ooze were bulging and, well, oozing, swelling in a way that was similar to breathing. Ironically stable compared to their own haggard breaths. They definitely didn’t feel bitter about it. Instead they wondered how many more kettles she’d bested. How many victories they had missed. More primroses were retched out of them and into the snow.
Because of course they were on Captain’s mind. The pain that came with the thought of them didn’t surprise them anymore. They should probably be more concerned with how quickly they had gotten used to it, but that was something to unpack later, if that ever came. Really, they weren’t sure if they had the strength to talk to her again. Not after how they had treated them last time. They didn’t want Three’s last memory of them to be tarnished like this. She had been so concerned and they couldn’t face to worry her more than they already had.
Because they… they loved her.
Of course they did. Admitting it to themself sent yet another bloom tumbling from their lungs into the snow. They spat a sad glob of ink down after it. They loved her, and they didn’t want to see her hurt, or worrying. Captain loved Three and despite everything they wanted to see their face again, they wanted to see her doing those stupid flourishes, they wanted to experience sleeping beside them, they wanted to see her at her worst just as she had seen theirs only to be able to comfort her afterwards. They simply wanted, and it hurt. It hurt yet they didn’t want it to stop. It wouldn’t stop.
Had they ever been in love before her?
They didn’t think so.
Of course they’d had childish crushes on celebrities when they were younger. Same with fleeting relationships doomed from the beginning when they had been in school, before they dropped out. They’d shared an awkward first kiss with a guy at a party before they’d even been out. They’d been on a few fruitless dates, but they’d never felt like this. They hadn’t known Three. They’d never loved like this before.
“CAPTAIN!”
Shiiiiit.
“What are you DOING HERE?”
It was Three, and they sounded furious. Of course it was them. They couldn’t escape her. She was a force, sprinting around the piles of fuzzed ink to reach them. They could almost feel the buds in their chest blossom with a new fervour. Their mouth tasted like dread and perfume.
Footsteps rumbled up the stairs, the metal ringing in alarm.
‘Three-’
“NO. No. You- You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to turn up here coughing up fucking flowers in the middle of the night and try to tell me you're fine, that you're getting over it. Hanahaki?! Who. Who is it.”
She was standing a few steps beneath them, leaving her at their height. They hated the tears that sprung to their eyes as they met her gaze. Her eyes were angry, a stormy deepsea green. They shook their head in a pathetic plea.
Three laughed, bitter and incredulous. “I’m not stupid! I saw them, Captain. The flowers. In the snow. And in your flat! You’re- you're not as slick as you think you are! You can’t hide from this! We’ve been worried sick! How long- how long have you been hiding this? We want to help you!” This was the most furious they’d ever seen them.
‘I-’ their hands were shaking. ‘I don’t know, I can’t-’
“And you’ve not been replying to any of us, have you- have you even been to a doctor about this? There are- there are surgeries, there are options but you're just- you're just letting yourself die like a horse shot in the leg!”
‘Why are you even here?’ They found themself asking in a desperate attempt to avoid their fate for a few more moments.
“Because I’ve been so worried that I haven’t been able to accomplish anything!” They burst, those perfect green eyes brimming with tears. “I’m trying to catch up because I’ve been distracted because I can’t- I can’t stop worrying about you! You’re sick, and it’s- it’s killing you, Captain. If you hadn’t fucking realised!”
They had. They had realised.
“-And I don’t want you to die! Okay! I’m sorry if that’s a foreign concept to you, if someone caring about you is then Gods help us! Because I don’t want to see you hurting! I don’t want to see you get worse!”
They gagged as more flowers clawed their way into the open air. Three sobbed and looked away as they sputtered, but didn’t move to help them. Not this time. She couldn’t bear the sight of them like this. Guilt clawed at them. The wet petals were the same shade as her tentacles.
Three looked at them. “Please, just… just tell me. Who is it.”
‘I can’t.’ The answer was an easy reflex. ‘And I can’t get surgery. I’m not well enough for it. I was benched by Marie for a reason. The injuries I already have, it’s… it’s complicated, Three. Please, just…’
“I can’t. I can’t let this go, Captain. I know you're my superior, I know-”
‘You're my equal,’ they corrected them without thinking, ‘you can do this without me. You’ll be okay.’
That didn’t have the placating effect that Captain intended. Three looked offended, and sounded it, too. “You can’t put words into my mouth like that! It’s not fine! It will never be fine! We can’t do this without you! Why can’t- why can’t you just- Tell whoever you're in love with that you're in love with them so it will go away? Why are you being so stubborn? No one is worth dying over! No one!”
Three was still staring at them, eyes wide and pleading. Alterna seemed to go still.
They swallowed. If- if they were dying anyway, they might as well, right?
‘It’s…’ they began, clasping their hands together for a beat in a futile attempt to still them and make them readable. ‘It’s you.’
There had always been a reason that their sign for her was three fingers pressed to their chest, over one of their hearts.
Captain let out a raspy chuckle at her lost expression. ‘Yeah. That’s it. That’s why I couldn’t, that’s why I didn’t. It’s you. Since the day I met you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Three. I really am. You don’t have to… lie to me, or anything. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I… well. I’m not exactly expecting you to reciprocate.’
Three was staring at them and crying silently. She didn’t reply for a few moments, looking at everything but them. “How can- how can you love me when I- I don’t even know who I am?” They finally spluttered, expression a strange mixture of relief, fear, and something else Captain couldn’t quite decipher. She looked at them again, voice quiet. “I’m- I’m not the same person I was when we met. I’m not the octoling that Cuttlefish picked up off that street corner, not anymore, and-”
‘I know.’ Of course they knew. Seeing her blossom was one of the many honours they had gained just by virtue of knowing her. ‘I know you’re not. We don’t… choose these things. I don’t know why I…’
“Why you what, Captain,” Three whispered, though they suspected she already knew the answer. They didn’t understand why they were putting them through extra misery, but relented anyway.
‘I don’t know why I love you, Three. But I do. I love you.’
“Oh.” Somehow the admission still surprised her.
This was the end of it, they supposed. Once Three left, they would return to their apartment and go die in at least some sort of peace, with one of many regrets off their chest. Captain looked away, back out at the illusory vastness of Alterna. They felt strangely peaceful.
At least until a hand on their cheek shifted their view. Three looked right at them, their perfect eyes flittering across their weary face. “Captain, you're…”
A thumb crept up their cheek to trace a scar for a moment, before lining the grooves between their skin and the markings around their eyes. Wiping away tears.
“You’re not going to die, Captain. You're- you’re going to be okay.”
They let out a wet chuckle. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of their shoulders. Even if this wouldn’t be forever, it was still nice. They could live and die with the pity. ‘How can you promise that, Three?’
“I can promise that because I love you. I love you, Captain.”
Captain laughed. They laughed so hard it brought fresh tears to their eyes. At their own stupidity, with joy, at the clarity in their chest and they took a gasping breath of sweet, fresh air as Three pressed their foreheads together. Her eyes were squeezed shut and Captain watched her laugh too, etching the perfect crinkles of their smile into their memory.
──── ❀ ────
A week later, Captain was back at work. Alterna had always been a bittersweet place.
It reminded them of many things. Of humanity’s downfall, of their own faults. Of their past. It reminded them that no matter how hard one tried to preserve something, nothing was infallible. That arrogance and complacency will get you nowhere, and that even the strongest people had weaknesses they simply couldn’t ignore. And it reminded them of Three, which was perhaps the sweetest part about it.