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It was supposedly another normal morning with a normal morning routine. After a hot shower and a precise tooth-brushing session, Espio was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. He leaned close, examining his reflection with a sharp eye.
His horn was polished, his muzzle was clean, his scales were- Wait….
Something felt off. Something felt…. Flaky….
Espio began to stare into space, a behavior rare for the ninja. His hand flew to the area of discomfort. It was somewhere on his shoulder. His fingers brushed against this part of his body, agitating a patch of dull, loosened scales. They came off easily, leaving behind tender scales that were new and felt vulnerable. Espio’s stomach dropped upon the realization.
Shedding season…
He knew it was coming. The itching had begun a few days ago. It was that maddening sensation that meant he couldn’t fully commit to meditation, or stealth, or anything that required focus. Espio hoped, and even prayed that this time would be different. They say that shedding gets better the older you get, right? Maybe at sixteen his body would have the decency to handle the process with dignity.
Another scale came off and fluttered down, landing on the edge of the sink and staring at Espio as if it was mocking him.
How is a guy supposed to maintain his image as a disciplined ninja warrior if he was literally falling apart? He has stuff to do!
The worst part was that this wasn’t even the first time this happened this year. Six months ago, he had gone through the same humiliating process. And now he had to deal with it all again, right on schedule. His body always had to betray him.
And of course, it would happen again in six months, and then again six months after that. Twice a year, every year, for the rest of his unfortunate life.
Espio gripped the edges of the sink tightly in an attempt to ground himself. His mind told him to control himself, and that he can handle this.
He didn’t have much faith in his thoughts, though. His reflection showed off the patches of dull, dying scales that clung to the fresh scales underneath. Espio felt like a giant mess.
-
Day one of Operation: Don’t Let Anyone Notice went surprisingly well. Ah, well... well enough if he ignored the constant anxiety that assaulted his nervous system.
He decided to layer up clothes to hide the shedding. Male Mobians don’t normally wear tops or bottoms, but it wasn’t unusual enough for anyone to care. Espio wore a dark purple turtleneck and black cargo pants, despite the fact it was over eighty degrees outside. When Vector questioned the decision at breakfast, Espio had mumbled something about “training in adverse conditions.”
Breakfast itself was its own kind of inhumane torture. Vector had made pancakes, a favorite of Espio’s sweet tooth. But, the sight of the steamy golden cakes on his plate made his stomach seethe with discomfort. He just pushed them around with his fork, cutting them into smaller and smaller pieces so he can arrange them to look like he’d eaten more than he actually had.
It didn’t help that everything just felt plain wrong. The texture of the fork in his hand, the smacking sound of Charmy’s chewing, the way Vector’s chair scraped against the floor… it’s like every noise grated at his nerves like sandpaper.
“You gonna eat those, or just play with ‘em, kid?” Vector asked, gesturing at Espio’s plate.
“I’m eating,” Espio’s voice came out harsher than intended. He forced himself to take a bite. The normally delectable, fluffy, syrup drenched cakes tasted like stale cardboard this morning. Even swallowing felt like a chore.
Vector raised a brow slightly, but he didn’t comment. He was just happy his kid was eating.
Charmy, however, was a different story.
“Why are you wearing so many clothes, Espio?” Charmy stood up in his seat, leaning on the table to get closer to the chameleon, “Are you cold? You look like you’re cold. Or maybe if you’re all bundled up, you must be hot. Are you hot?”
“I’m fine, Charmy,” Espio barely kept his voice level. Every word that Charmy spoke felt too loud, too close, and just too much.
“But you’re all bundled up in the middle of summer! Do you have some sort of secret you’re hiding from us? Is it a ninja secret? Can I know the secret?”
“There’s no secret.”
“That sounds like something somebody with a secret would say.”
Each noise in the room was pure torment. The buzz of Charmy’s wings forcefully drilled into his skull. The clinks of the dinnerware made the itching of his skin more unbearable. The gurgling of the pancakes in his stomach was Hell. And Charmy just wouldn’t stop talking—!!
“Charmy!!!” The name came out crueler than Espio intended it to, “Just- Just please stop, okay?”
Charmy slid back into his chair, his expression crumpled and flipped between being confused and hurt.
His poor little face made painful guilt crash over Espio immediately. “I’m sorry, Charmy. It’s just-“
Vector interrupted the pitiful teen unintentionally, “Quit pesterin’ Espio and finish your breakfast, Charmy. We got a case to work on later.”
Espio sent a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever deity watched over embarrassed teenage reptiles, even as shame burned through his entire being. Charmy didn’t deserve to be snapped at, this wasn’t his fault.
Espio’s mind told him to get it together. It demanded he get it together. He’s better than this. He didn’t feel better than this, though… his skin felt too tight and too loose at the same time. It felt like every nerve ending was exposed and raw. It felt like he was coming apart at the seams.
-
The case for today was to look for a missing wedding ring, potentially stolen. It was routine surveillance work, Espio excelled at surveillance.
Espio excelled usually, that is. Unfortunately it was shedding season. Every movement felt wrong as his scales continued to bother him. Loose scales caught on the fabric of his turtleneck. The fabric even tore at scales that weren’t ready to fall off yet, causing the new scales underneath to sting. When Espio shifted through positions on the rooftop across from the suspect’s apartment, he heard the whispers of dead scales rubbing against each other.
Vector called in through the Chaotix’s thrifted walkie-talkies for a quick check-up, “You good up there, Espio?”
Espio flinched at the sudden sound, “Affirmative.” He forced his response to be professional.
“You sure? Y’sound tense.”
“I’m fine,” Espio’s words came out with an edge that he immediately regretted. “I’m just… focused.”
There was a pause on the other end, “Alright… Keep me posted.”
Espio pressed himself flatter against the roof tiles as he blended in to the scenery, praying that no stray scales had blown away in the gentle breeze like some kind of reptilian confetti. He then forced his eyes closed as he took slow, measured breaths. He was losing it up here, succumbing to something as simple as a natural bodily function. With all he’s faced in the past, he was frustrated at how much shedding season sucks.
-
By the time the team had returned to the agency, Espio’s nerves were frayed dramatically. He’d managed to avoid Charmy’s attempts at high-fives and dodged Vector’s congratulatory shoulder pat when they’d finally located the ring. He avoided his teammates, but he couldn’t avoid himself.
He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror once again. The shedding had accelerated with patches hanging from him like dingy old wallpaper. He tried to smooth them down, only for the scales to become even looser.
This was going to take DAYS.
Espio kept staring at his reflection as something ugly churned in his chest. Every time he settled on one feeling, another was quick to rudely shove it aside. He felt embarrassed, then frustrated, then angry, then exhausted.
He figured by now his body would cooperate with him. Yeah, maybe some sixteen year old reptiles still struggle with shedding season, but he was advanced, right? He should have some control over his own like, right?
Espio hung his head down in shame. No amount of training or meditation or sheer unforgiving self-discipline could stop it. He was at the mercy of biology itself.
-
Day two was even worse than day one.
Espio had barely slept because he was hyper aware of every itch and shift of his scales. He’d woken up multiple times during the night to find his pillowcase dusted with flakes of his own creation. It was like he was the world’s worst snow globe, sheesh.
The morning felt like wading through a swamp. Everything took twice as long and required twice as much effort. Getting dressed was an ordeal as each fiber caught onto loose scales. Washing his face was inconvenient as scales clogged the sink. Routines turned into gauntlets that tested his sanity.
At breakfast, Vector made eggs and toast. The smell alone made Espio’s appetite up and leave.
“Not hungry, Esp?” Vector figured he’d ask after watching Espio nudged his food around for a good ten minutes.
“Not really.” Espio’s voice was flat and drained of any emotion.
“You didn’t eat much yesterday either.”
“I’m fine.”
“Or so I’ve heard.”
Espio tightened his jaw and clenched his fork with force, “Because I am FINE, Vector. You can drop this now.”
Vector’s eyes narrowed, but he decided to back off. “Whatever ya say, Espio. Just make sure y’eat somethin’ later.”
Espio nodded, he didn’t trust himself to speak without snapping again. The eggs sat on his plate just getting colder and colder. He managed two bites before giving up entirely.
Across the table, Charmy was yapping about something. The chatterbox always had something to say. Espio couldn’t focus on the words. The noise just ate at him, it was exasperating and infuriating.
“Why are you wearing mittens instead of your normal gloves?” This was the only thing Charmy said that Espio actually heard and processed.
“It’s….part of my training.” It was a blatant lie, but Charmy didn’t seem to notice. He just went back to eating as if he asked nothing. Vector had given Espio another weird look, but he decided not to say anything again.
The agency was quiet that day, which should’ve been a relief. Instead, it meant that Charmy buzzed around with nothing to do. And when he was bored, he’d hover around Espio like a surveillance drone.
“Wanna play with me, Espio?”
“Not right now.” Espio didn’t look up from the file he was pretending to read. Not that he could, the words seemed to blur together on the page.
“Wanna practice ninja skills with me?”
“Perhaps later.” Espio’s voice was right and controlled. He could feel that his patience was wearing thin.
“Wannaaaa- Hey, what’s that on your arm?”
Shoot. His sleeve had rolled up. His hand flew to drag the sleeve back down. “Nothing.”
“It looks sorta like-“
“It’s NOTHING, Charmy.” The words came out of Espio almost like a snarl.
“Oh. Well, um, okay. I’ll leave you alone, I guess.”
Guilt twisted through Espio like a knife, it was sharp and relentless. He didn’t mean to hurt Charmy’s feelings… again. He wanted to reach out to the bee as he drifted out of the room, he didn’t want to be such a terrible brother, but Espio had bigger problems to deal with. This was a nightmare.
-
Day three was the day Espio decided that he would take matters into his own hands.
Clearly, his body wasn’t going to cooperate and make this whole process easy-breezy. Well, that was fine. He would just make it cooperate.
He started with doing some research. Thirty desperate minutes on the agency laptop yielded a dozen different remedies: humidity, dryness, warm baths, cool baths, special oils, exfoliating scrubs, etc. There was even one particularly dubious suggestion that involved duct tape. Espio immediately dismissed that one.
Each article made him feel more helpless. They wanted him to let nature take its course, not force it, and be patient. Yeah, as if he had any patience left.
He tried a warm bath first. Half an hour soaking in steamy water that made his fingers all pruned. When he got out, his scales were… Well there was no progress. The scales were just waterlogged.
Next, he decided on trying a grooming brush. He pulled out the one used for maintaining Charmy’s fuzz and stroked his scales with what he felt was adequate pressure. Some scales clung on stubbornly while others came off in unsightly patches, leaving him looking like a total disaster.
“This is fine,” Espio muttered to his deranged looking reflection, “This is fine.”
His reflection stared back at him. It was patchy, uneven, and a horrible mess of old and new scales that made him look awful. This was so much worse than he had anticipated.
In a moment of fleeting hope, he even tried to speed up the progress by doing something he called ‘hot yoga.’ It really was just him doing complicated poses while wearing three layers of clothing and running a space heater.
All he’d accomplished was nearly passing out and also adding hideous sweat stains to his list of problems.
By evening, he was sitting on his bed in the room he shared with Charmy. His knees were close to his chest as he stared at his flaking hands. Patches of new scales gleamed next to areas of dull, old scales. He looked like a failed art project.
The weight of the past three days pressed down on him like a hydraulic press. He hid, he lied, he barely ate, he even kept snapping at Charmy. All of this for what? Just to have scales that will shed again in half a year? He can’t keep doing this!
Espio curled himself tighter into a shameful ball. It was only when he heard the door creak open that he fixed his posture and pulled his sleeves back down.
“You in here, Espio?”
Vector’s voice. Oooof course.
“I’m fine.” Espio blurted automatically.
“Yeah, that’s what you’ve been sayin’ all week.” Vector’s heavy footsteps crossed the room over to Espio’s bed, “Mind if I sit?”
Espio minded very much, actually. But Vector was already lowering himself onto the other end of the bed.
They sat in awkward silence for a good moment. Their eyes staring at random things that decorated the room as someone waited for the other to speak.
“So,” Vector began with a gentle voice, “You gonna tell me what’s goin’ on, or am I just gonna have to find out myself?”
Vector’s words felt like mockery. Each word taunted and ridiculed the highly skilled ninja that couldn’t even stand shedding season.
“Nothing is going on,” Espio’s words came out shallow, even he thought it was unconvincing.
“Uh-huh. That why you’ve been dressed like you’re headin’ to Holoska? In the middle of July?”
Espio said nothing in response. What could he possibly say? That he was embarrassed? That he felt like a failure? That he’d been so irritable that he now thinks that Charmy hates him? That he can’t stand being in his own skin?
Vector let out a long sigh, “look, kiddo. I’ve known ya long enough to know when somethin’s botherin’ you. I’ve also known ya long enough to know you’re gonna try and handle things on your own, even when ya don’t gotta.”
“I can handle it,” Espio mumbled. He knew it wasn’t true, though. He couldn’t handle it. He could barely even survive it.
“Never said you couldn’t. But that don’t mean you should.” Vector paused. “I know you’re sheddin’. No doubt about it.”
Espio’s head snapped up in surprise and embarrassment, “How did you—?!”
“I’m a detective, Espio. I’m also a reptile. You think I don’t know the signs?” Vector’s expression was knowing, and almost amused. “The layers, the avoidin’ contact, the weird bathroom schedule…Speakin’ of which, those scales of yours keep cloggin’ the sink”
Espio stared at Vector with a mortified look, “B-but I thought I fixed it.”
“None of us are perfect kiddo.” Vector’s tone was matter-of-fact. “We all make mistakes, have accidents, mess up… it’s part of life. And y’know what else is part of our lives? Sheddin’. It ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of.”
“It’s humiliating,” the words burst out of Espio before he had the chance to think before he spoke. “I’m supposed to be in control of everything. I’m supposed to be focused and ready at all times. Instead I’m just… falling apart. Literally.” His voice cracked slightly on that last word. “And it’s never going to stop, Vector. This is the one thing I have zero control over. I can’t- ….. I just can’t.”
Espio hated being vulnerable like this. It was something he was only recently learning to let himself do. He felt exposed, as if he’d shed more than just scales.
“Heh. Bodies don’t really care about our image, do they?” Vector leaned back on the bed, crossing his arms and getting himself comfortable. “You ain’t the first teenager to be embarrassed about sheddin’. And ya ain’t gonna be the last. Let me tell ya about the time I was fifteen.”
Espio glanced at his boss warily, “Vector, I—“
“You’re gonna listen to this, kiddo. So, I’m fifteen, right? And I’m on this date with a girl who just rocked my world. I was tryin’ to impress her, and I’m wearin’ this ridiculous suit that’s too tight in all the wrong places. And wouldn’t ya know it, that’s when my body decides it’s sheddin’ time.”
Despite himself, Espio felt a flicker of curiosity, “…What happened?”
“What happened was I spent the entire date itchin’ and scratchin’ like I was infested with fleas. By the end of the night, the restaurant looked like someone had dumped a bag of green confetti everywhere.” Vector chuckled, shaking his head. “The girl I was tryin’ to impress? She asked if I had some sort of condition. She even gave me the ol’ stink eye when some scales ended up in her dinner.”
Espio stared at Vector with wide eyes, “That’s terrible…”
“Oh, it gets better. The next year, I’m workin’ one of my first real detective cases, right? I’m tryin’ to be all professional. And then my face starts sheddin’ right in the middle of an interrogation. I’m sittin’ there tryin’ to be all intimidating, and my scales are fallin’ off my snout and gettin’ all over my evidence!”
A small, involuntary sound escaped Espio. It wasn’t quite a laugh, but it was close.
“The suspect actually felt bad for me,” Vector continued, “She confessed right then and there ‘cause she felt bad for me. Said she couldn’t stand watchin’ me suffer.” He smiled with a big, dorky grin, “I technically solved the case, but not exactly how I planned it.”
Espio struggled to find the right words, “That’s… worse than my situation.”
“Exactly my point, kiddo,” Vector’s expression softened, “Look, I know it feels like the end of the world right now. I know you’re thinkin’ that everyone’s gonna notice and judge and think you’re less of a ninja, or whatever. But it’s a normal part of bein’ a reptile. And anybody who goes out of their way to make you feel bad about it just ain’t worth your time.”
Espio looked down at his hands again, analyzing the patchwork of old and new scales. “It just feels so… out of my control.”
“Yeah, well. That’s bein’ a teenager for ya. Your body’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, and sometimes all you can do is ride it out,” Vector carefully reached out and pat Espio on the shoulder. “But you don’t gotta ride it out alone, y’know? You’ve got two teammates who’ve always got your back, no matter what?”
Something tight loosened in Espio’s chest, just slightly, “Even when it’s… disgusting?”
“Especially when it’s disgusting, kiddo. You think raisin’ Charmy ain’t disgusting sometimes? I’m the one who had to change all the kid’s diapers. Someone had to do it!”
This time, Espio did actually laugh. It was a short, surprised sound that felt like relief, “That’s enough, Vector.”
“There’s the laugh I wanted to hear,” Vector’s grin widened and leaned closer to Espio, “You wanna know the secret to gettin’ through sheddin’ season?”
“What’s that?”
“Just stop fightin’ it. Your body knows what it’s doin’. Give it time, keep yourself comfortable, and for the love of- Take off some of those layers, would ya? You’re gonna die of heatstroke.”
Espio hesitated, but ultimately peeled off his layers of turtlenecks. The scales on his body were a complete mess. Some scales hung loose, some patches were crumpled and stuck to his body, and others were new, yet raw. Espio felt miserable.
Vector didn’t even flinch, “See? Not so bad.”
“It looks horrifying.”
“It looks temporary, kiddo. In a week, you’ll have brand new scales and you’ll forget this ever happened. Well…until next time. But I’ve always got your back,” Vector stood up with a grunt and stretched out his back, “Now, you gonna be okay? Or am I gonna have to tell ya more embarrassing stories from my teen years? ‘Cause I’ve got plenty.”
“I think I’m okay, Vector.” Espio mentioned quietly. And surprisingly, he actually meant it. Yeah, he was still shedding, it was still uncomfortable and humiliating, but now it felt actually manageable.
“Good….And Espio?” Vector paused at the door, “Next time something’s botherin’ you, come talk to me first, alright? I may be your boss, but I’m also your guardian. I’m here whenever ya need me.”
Espio nodded with a small smile, “Thank you, Vector.”
“Don’t mention it, kiddo. Now get some rest. And maybe crack a window- Ninjas ain’t immune to teenager musk.”
After Vector left, Espio found himself sitting alone in the quiet room. He thought about Charmy and how he needed to apologize to him later. He then thought about his scales, and how they were still uncomfortable, yet manageable. He also thought about how taking those layers off did wonders, the air on his scales felt wonderful.
He thought about how tomorrow he’d still be shedding. He might still feel self-conscious, but at least he wouldn’t be hiding behind tons of layers. He wouldn’t be avoiding his family, and he also wouldn’t be fighting against his own biology. Tomorrow, he would just be Espio.
Yeah, he’d have to do this all again in six months. He still dreaded the thought, but he knew that he had people who loved him no matter what. Shedding or no shedding.