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Derek fell in love with Stiles Stilinski on June first, 2013. It was a Saturday.
He had known Stiles for eight months, nine days, and eleven hours before he fell in love with him.
Stiles had been in love with Derek for eight months, nine days, and ten hours before he gave up on Derek and accepted an offer from someone else.
Not that Derek knew that, well at least not until he stumbled his way into Stiles' house at 11:53 pm only to realize that Stiles wasn't alone in his bed.
Derek cried that night.
And for four nights after that.
Brad was a nice enough guy from what he gathered; Isaac let snippets slip when he thought maybe Derek could handle them. He was—well happy wasn't exactly the right word, but he was content knowing that Stiles was happy with this Brad.
From what he understood Brad was a college student—older than Stiles, but younger than Derek. The guy was smart, and seemed genuine and it made it that much more obnoxious because if he had just been an asshole Derek wouldn't have minded ripping his throat out.
But as is, he would feel guilty, because all the guy did was realize faster than Derek that the most perfect man on the planet was standing right in front of him, and how could he fault him on that.
On December 15th, 2013 Stiles broke up with Brad.
Which now that Derek thought about it was probably the best way for things to end, because had the guy broken Stiles' heart. He could not be held responsible for the things he would have done to him.
They split somewhat mutually, Brad somewhat tired of dating a high school student that wasn't due to go to college for another year yet. Stiles tired of lying to brad about where he was at least once a month, at most every day for a week or two. They were just never going to work.
Derek had been holding in his declaration for six months and fourteen days when he showed up at Stiles' door. Unable to wait even another second, millisecond even.
Stiles answered the door in his cookie monster boxers with a sad smile on his face and Derek couldn't stop himself. He lunged forward—one hand tightening at the nape of Stiles' neck another gripping at his hip. Pulling him as close as he could possibly get and sealing their lips together.
It hurt a little, teeth smashing lips, fevered, frenzied, making up for all the time that they had missed.
When they woke up the next morning, there was nothing Derek could do except for smile. He just had the most perfect night imaginable with the most perfect person he had ever met and for a second he let himself wonder what it would be like to wake up like this every morning. Stiles next to him, sheet tugged tight over his hips, sleep heavy in his eyes.
That's when it hit him.
The acrid odor of regret coming off Stiles in waves.
Panic.
Elevated heart rate.
It was all Derek could do not to stand up and run away because he should have known this would happen.
He wasn't good enough for Stiles. Stiles deserved people like Brad, like Lydia. He deserved people who would challenge him intellectually, who would make him feel happy and loved and—he deserved so much more than Derek. Derek knew it—the pack knew it—and now Stiles knew it.
Derek was a rebound.
A quick hot distraction from the breakup he had just endured.
A regret.
Stiles shifted slightly, heart still racing, panic still filling the air.
Derek frowned.
"You don't have to explain." He said pushing away the covers and looking for his pants. "I won't ever mention it again." He mumbled, walking shamefully out Stiles' bedroom door, pants half zipped and shirt gripped tight in his hand.
And he didn't—mention it ever again I mean.
That didn't mean he didn't think about it.
Didn't wonder what would have happened if he had waited until Stiles had moved on from Brad, didn't theorize about what would have happened if maybe he had told Stiles earlier, realized he loved him even one day faster.
Derek was slowly killing himself with regret, and what if's.
Problem was, the answer was always the same.
It wouldn't have mattered.
At least not in his opinion.
He still would never have been good enough for Stiles. He wasn't boyfriend material, he wasn't long haul material. Nobody wanted to actually stay with Derek; they wanted to sleep with him, sure. Everybody wanted that just a little. Derek understood that he was attractive, but they didn't actually want to be with him. Stiles would never actually want to be with him.
He was wrong.
Derek Hale broke Stiles Stilinski's heart on December 16th, 2013 at 9:12 am when he rushed out of bed mumbling something about never speaking about it again.
And they didn't, for a while at least speak about it.
They didn't talk about the fact that Stiles was having a panic attack trying to get up the nerves to ask Derek to stay. To tell him that he loved him, that he regretted ever saying yes when brad asked him out.
They didn't talk about the fact that Stiles had been in love with him for a year, two months and twenty four days.
They didn't talk about anything really.
Until the one day they talked about everything.
On June 5th, 2014 Stiles walked into Derek's house, sat on his bed and demanded an answer.
"why did you run away that day?" Stiles asked, perched on the arm of Derek's couch.
" we don't have to talk about this." Derek replied, remaining still, as if he ignored everything around him. If he stayed perfectly still with his legs stretched out and his arm thrown over his eyes, that maybe he could shut out his feelings as well as he was shutting out the lights and sounds around him.
"I just want to know why." Stiles said frowning; he figured he at least deserved that much. He knew that he didn't deserve Derek. There wasn't a way to "deserve" another person. But he deserved an explanation as to why Derek showed up at his house, fucked him into the mattress knowing full well how Stiles felt about him and then left.
"It was hard to stay without choking on the scent of regret and panic Stiles." Derek said frowning.
And this is where Stiles felt really stupid.
Because he knew Derek was a werewolf, that he would know things like that. What he didn't know, and what he should have guessed was that Derek was so stupid, and thought so little of himself that he actually thought that Stiles regretted him. Sure he had regrets, his whole relationship with Brad to be specific, and the panic that was induced by thinking it was a one night thing.
It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He panicked about it being a one night thing.
His panic made Derek leave.
It became a one night thing.
"You left because you thought I had regrets about sleeping with you?" Stiles asked, just to be sure.
"Yes"
"You mean that if I had just taken a second to explain that I was having a panic attack because I woke up in bed with the guy I have been in love with since I realized I was even interested in guys then I could have had you this entire time?"
This is where Derek felt stupid.
This is also where Derek sat up to look Stiles in the eye.
"So Brad…?" Derek prompted.
"Regret. The source of the regret that morning because I was thinking how much I wish that was my first time. How perfect it was, how it was so much better because I was totally in love with you. How I regretted giving It up to some college kid who was dating me because he wanted to remember what it was like to be in high school." Stiles muttered frowning.
They sat there silently for a while, not saying anything, not moving, afraid to disrupt whatever the hell had just happened.
"You know, I went to your house that day." Derek said, frowning slightly.
"What day?"
"the day you started dating that guy, I finally put all the pieces together and realized that it didn't matter if I was older, or broken, or a werewolf, all that mattered was that I love you and I was at least going to give it a shot, and I sat on the window ledge, nauseous because I was so nervous. And there he was—Brad." Derek cringed as he spat the name. "If I had just figured it out a little sooner we would have saved ourselves all this trouble."
Stiles nodded, slowly slipping off the arm of the couch and onto the cousin next to Derek. "You're an idiot." He said smirking, face inches from Derek's.
"I know." He said lowering his head in shame
"Hey now, don't get all mopey on me." Stiles said fingers finding Derek's chin and re-directing his eyes back up onto him. "I love you anyway." He said smiling softly.
"I love you too."
It took them one year, three days and twenty one hours to get their shit together, and honestly—it was worth it.