Work Text:
Albatross crashed into the bar. “I can’t believe this! The little man’s disappeared. Again! Where the fuck could he have gone-?!” The flags all looked up from their own respective places in the room.
Pianoman furrowed his brows. “Again? That’s the third time this week. And it’s Thursday. He’s been ditching us more frequently the last two months.”
Lippmann sighed with amusement from where he was sitting, a glass of scotch in his hand. “Perhaps Chuuya’s found himself a partner to occupy his time” this comment earned a snicker from Doc, who was messing with his IV drip next to him.
Albatross stole Lippman’s drink, down it and sighed. “There’s no way. Have you ever seen the guy? He’s practically married to his job! I’ll bet he’s hiding from us, doing his stupid paperwork like a robot.”
“That’s probably not too far from the truth” Pianoman snorted, checking over the newest batch of counterfeit money he produced.
Iceman, who had been silent until now, exhaled smoke from his cigarette, and remarked.
“Why don’t you just tail him next time?”
That caught everyone’s attention.
Doc grinned “That could work. Can’t be hard to tail that guy. He stands out quite a bit.”
Albatross practically sprinted to Iceman, giving him a big slap on the back.
”Looks like you’re still young enough to have good ideas! You old fossil.”
Iceman waves him away with a smile and a slight tick of his jaw. “I’m not that old. You’ve seen my ID”
Lippman stands with a clap of his hands.
“Let’s come up with a strategy shall me then?”
(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚
Lippman and Albatross were planted firmly outside of Chuuya’s office the next day. Obviously with disguises. They’ll never be found out—
“Tross, what the hell are ya doin?”
Albatross snapped his head to the side as a ticked off Chuuya, who had just exited his office, stomped up to him.
“Tross? Tross who? Sorry man never heard of this lady. Send them my way if you find her though! Been getting tad lonely these days.” He swears he saw Lippman hold in a laugh.
Chuuya however, did not seem amused, as he dragged a hand down his face.
“Tross I can see your stupid braid sticking out from under your shitty wig.”
Albatross groaned as he pulled off the wig. “Boo, you’re a no fun workaholic.” He whipped his head to Lippman who was not so subtly laughing. “Oi stop laughing at me! The jig is up we gotta run?!”
Chuuya hadn’t evidently not actually noticed Lippman (curse the man’s acting experience) as he turned to stare incredulously at him. “You too-?! What the hell are you guys even doing?!”
Lippman took off his own wig, still chuckling as he walked over to the two. “Apologies Chuuya it’s just—“
”You scoundrel! you’ve bailed on us for three days in a row now!” Albatross cried dramatically as he wrapped an arm around a very displeased looking Chuuya. “What about our family?! What about our kids-?!”
”Shut up-!” Chuuya hissed as the lower level grunts were giving them strange looks, although quickly averting their eyes, not wanting to incur the wrath of the mafia boss’s right hand man and his demon friends. “What family, oi?!”
His ears were bright red as he avoided eye contact with his two friends and keep glancing at the watch on his wrist. Which didn’t escape Lippman’s notice of course.
“Got somewhere to be Chuuya?” He purred, amusement lacing his voice.
”I- no- yes-! Maybe…?”
Albatross was still spewing theatrics, as Chuuya tried to wrangle him off him.
”Where are you off to then?”
”It- no where special-! Tross I swear I’m gonna throw you out the window-!”
”Heartless scum! What about our poor family! Doc’s heartbroken at your continued absence! I demand you either come with us or take us with you to where ever you’ve been holing up to work!”
Chuuya deflated with an annoyed sigh.”Fine! Fine I’ll take you with me! But be on your best fucking behaviour ya hear me-?! I’ll skin you otherwise.”
While Albatross was spouting nonsense about how ‘Chuuya’s ice cold heart had melted’, Lippman was curious to what he had been up to. Must be urgent if he had so quickly agreed to their demands.
(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚
Albatross and Lippman were a bit confused as Chuuya practically sped back home to change into…a hoodie and a pair of jeans, cursing loudly as he tried to find so called ‘civilian clothes’ at his friends in his own closet. Dismayed that he couldn’t find any that fit Lippman before remembering they all lived in the same apartment complex.
”Go change into something normal-! I don’t want to see any suits on the two of you!”
This statement was much to their surprise, as Chuuya seemed to indulge in suits and luxury clothing articles like it was water for his survival.
10 minutes later, Chuuya was dragging the two by their collars (mainly albatross who was making a show of being slow) to…a…cafe…?
Albatross stared at the place in disbelief. Lippman was trying hard not to do so aswell.
“so…the alcoholic Nakahara Chuuya…has been ditching old world…for a café…?” The actor muttered as Chuuya was frantically smoothing out his auburn hair with pink ears.
”…yes” the ginger mumbled to his friend’s disbelief as he sped into the cafe as soon as he was satisfied with his appearance.
Albatross turned to look at Lippman, only to find him equally confused. “Are we sure this is Chuuya and not a doppelgänger he hired to throw us off his tail?”
Lippman pushed open the door, face grin. “If it is, Chuuya sure trusts him a lot to let him know where he lives.”
no way. Absolutely no way.
Chuuya is talking to someone in the cafe. Puppy eyed and smitten. The two young bloods are floored as they watch him. Never. And they mean never, have they ever seen such an appearance on Chuuya. Chuuya,the former king of the sheep. Chuuya, the youngest mafia executive in history. Chuuya, the boss’s right hand man. Chuuya? Who kill an entire army with the flick of his finger.
Chuuya who currently looked ready to kneel at the feet of the chestnut haired guy he was talking to.
Lippman had to admit. The boy Chuuya seemed enamoured by was…nothing short of ethereal. His wavy hair that seemed messy yet perfectly neat. Amber eyes that seemed to be filled with life and sparkled under the warm lighting of the cafe. Porcelain skin where bandages and clothing didn’t cover it. A tall slender body despite the decently broad shoulders. He seemed about Chuuya’s age. With a youthfulness that no one touched by mafia blood could ever possess.
The boy perked up as he locked behind Chuuya.
”Oh! Did you bring friends this time, Chibi?”
“Yeah…uhm yeah I did” Chuuya said softly (softly! Not shouted or said with any malice or sarcasm!)
Albatross was horrified. The last time anyone in the Flags had poked fun at Chuuya’s height, the guy had nearly leveled Old World! And this…this…okay this pretty face, but still! Chuuya barely batted an eye!
Lippman seemed to regain his composure first. “Hi. Yeah we’re his friends. We’ve merely been wondering where our friend has been disappearing off to for the past few days.” Chuuya turned bright red as the brunette let out a melodic giggle.
”Ahh…yeah that makes sense. Welcome to my family’s cafe! I’m Dazai, Dazai Osamu.”
Chuuya looked sheepishly at his friends as Dazai introduced himself. ‘As he should!’ Albatross thought, ‘Chuuya’s been running off for a pretty face! He can’t believe this! A civilian pretty face as well!’
Lippman smiled, clearly feeling happy his previous prediction at the bar was correct. “Nice to meet you Dazai. You can call me Lippman, and this guy is called Albatross.”
”Lippman?! The actor Lippman?!” He turned to Chuuya. “So that’s how you got me his signed poster even though they were completely sold out!”
Albatross seemed to finally snap out of it, not missing the opportunity to tease Chuuya. “Ohh~ so that’s why Chuuya randomly asked Lipp the other day! You sly bitch.” To which Chuuya only sputtered instead of the aggressive cursing Albatross usually would have received.
After the thee finally got seated, Albatross quickly pulled out his phone, much to Chuuya’s despair, and called doc and the others.
“Guys! We’ve tracked down Chuuya after tireless effort! (“What effort oi-!”) Turns out, he’s been running off for a pretty face! I have to say he really knows how to pick em— hey-!” Chuuya snatched the phone from him in embarrassment, hissing under his breath. “Keep your fucking voice down-! I swear to god if you don’t shut up- HEyyyyy…Dazai!” The two could barely hold in a laugh as Chuuya’s entered demeanour changed as Dazai approached, with Lippman mouthing ‘whipped’ in amusement.
”Hello Chuuya” Dazai giggled, he turned to face the other two. “Have you decided what to order yet? I already know what Chuuya wants as he orders the same thing every time.”
Lippman ordered a small sandwich set with a cafe latte, and Lippman ordered the chocolate banana pancake stack with just a water.
”Ok!” Dazai chirped, as Chuuya stared at the boy with a star-struck face. “So just to make sure, a normal sandwich set and a cafe latte for the actor, Choco-banana pancake stack for Albatross, and a crab mixed omurice for Chuuya with a drink of black coffee?”
Chuuya confirmed the orders to Dazai and kicked the bewildered face off Albatross to try and save himself embarrassment. Breathing a sigh of relief as Dazai walked away shouting “Odasaku! Three orders incoming!”
Lippman’s lip curled upwards in amusement. “An omurice, Chuuya? I was sure you would order a chazuke, like you do in any other diner.”
Albatross was practically dying on the floor laughing as Chuuya’s entire face turned pink. “W-well-! H-he recommended it-! Said he made the dish himself and- shut up Tross-!” Chuuya sputtered, digging himself in a deeper hole as Albatross was gasping about how whipped he was.
Chuuya hid his face in his hands, letting out a small whine the young bloods would never have heard ever. “I should’ve tried harder to get rid of you guys.”
(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚
To Chuuya’s further dismay, after generously trying to bribe his two friends by paying for their lunches, he was still dragged kicking and screaming to Old world, where Iceman, Doc and Pianoman were waiting, with mischief in their eyes.
”So!” Doc started smugly, “Our precious Chuuya has been running off kissing up to a civilian these past few months! No wonder you’re always missing in the afternoon!”
Albatross had promptly collapsed as soon as he stepped into the bar, bawling on the floor laughing at Chuuya.
Lippman was laughing as well. “You should’ve seen him. He looked ready to worship the boy on his knees.” Chuuya was ready to crawl into a hole and die.
Pianoman was holding back a snicker as he placed a comforting (mocking, more like) hand on Chuuya’s shoulder. “You should‘ve told us. We’d have helped your efforts to get into his pants.” (Chuuya let out a shriek as he swore like a sailor, while Doc started wheezing with laughter on the side.)
Even Iceman was trying to hide a laugh. Chuuya would love to die right now (not right now maybe, he wants to be in Dazai’s arms first). He screamed as he started chasing Albatross with a nearby chair after the blond had started making stupid gestures at him.
After that day, the members would start following Chuuya to the cafe in rotation, whether to observe their friend falling apart from afar, or to actively sabotage Chuuya.
and no one celebrated harder than them when Dazai had finally exchanged numbers with Chuuya, despite having nearly lost their friend due to him nearly fainting as soon as he stepped out the cafe into oncoming traffic.
☆
Extra:
Dazai ran up to the ginger happily. “Chuuya!” He laughed as he jumped into Chuuya’s arms.
”Dazai-!” Chuuya sputtered, nearly cursing as he tried not to drop the brunette.
“Fancy meeting you here! I just got out of school! What about you? You look fancy.”
Chuuya rambled about some vague excuse (some event his parents took him to?) as he slowly set Dazai down and they made their way to the cafe.
Dazai suddenly sneezed and looked back into the alleyway they had just passed, face scrunched up. “Hm? Chuuya did you hear that just now?”
Chuuya pulled Dazai by his hand, red as he was, muttering “I didn’t hear anything. Maybe it was a dog?”
Dazai looked away quickly, with his distaste for dogs, and started jogging slightly. “Let’s go quicker! I don’t want to be followed by a hungry dog again
A smile played on the gingers face as they slowly left the area, left the area where a soon to be former assassin was lying in a growing pool of his own blood.
