Work Text:
It was the night marked on the calendar.
I made my way into the office, hands in my pocket as I made my way down the hallway of the agency, fidgeting with the key in my pocket.
It was the day I had to turn it in. If the day went as planned, I won't need it after tonight.
Pushing open the door to the President's office, the relaxed smile on my face straining at the edges as the old man wasn't behind his desk. It was better anyways, just leave the keys on his desk and leave before he came back and asked questions about why I was returning the keys to the apartment the agency provided me.
I walked over to the desk, letting the door close behind me quietly as I stood in front of the desk, looking at the wood and light engravings in it where the President must have worn too hard in to the wood on frustrated nights of signing papers to keep the agency afloat. I never got to thank him for it.
That idea made the smile on my face dim to a light grimice, holding the key tightly in my pocket as I took them out, looking at the small red tassel and plush mackerel with large X's over the eyes hanging off the key ring. After staring at it, I removed the key from the loop, placing onto the desk, shoving the rest of it back into my pocket as I turned around and headed back out the door.
I couldn't back out now, I already made the plans with the lady. Yet, I felt hollow. Maybe it was because it was a women I only talked to online that promised to meet me on top of a building tonight.
I took a deep breath, walking down the staircase, shielding the sun from my eyes as I pushed open the front doors, looking up just enough to see the sunset, the tension melting out of my shoulders as the shades of orange and pink flooded the sky with the occasional cloud.
Relaxing my grip on the key loop in my pocket, I started walking. Maybe I could arrive early and meet the woman early as well.
My head was quiet for once, no tension eating away at my bones. I felt like I could breath, the constant weight on my chest lightening as I listened to the idle chatter of Yokohama. For once, I saviored it all instead of covering it all with my headphones.
Before I even knew it, I was climbing up the staircase of the building the girl requested to meet me at. My legs were aching from the climb, but for once, I didn't whine or stop, firmly holding onto the railing as I pushed myself up the steps one staircase at a time. The longer the climb, the longer and higher the fall.
A red level 60 caught my attention as the stairs ended, leading me to a door. This must be the roof. Taking a deep breath, I push myself forward and off the railing, grabbing onto the door knob, hesitating before turning the doorknob and pushing it open.
Cold air hit my face as I opened the door, causing a shiver to ripple through my body as I walked through the door, raising my hand to block the sunlight, a figure standing in it, seeming to face towards the sun. The woman, most likely.
A carefree smile easily hit my face as I walked towards them, looking at the sun as well as I slipped off my jacket, holding it out to her, revisiting the urge to shiver as the wind hit me full force.
As the jacket was lifted out of my hand, I crossed my arms over my chest, absentmindly rubbing at the bandages that were starting to unfold in the wind, though the cold left my shoulders as my jacket was rested on my shoulders again, tension replacing it instead.
After a moment, I looked away from the son, looking towards the person next to me, only to feel my breathing stop entirely.
"... Chuuya?"
A familiar flourish of hair confirmed my suspicions, even as he looked away from me, crossing his own arms over his chest.
A sudden rush of understanding flooded me.
The lack of photos sent of the woman, the lack of calling, the lack of interest meeting up till now.
What I didn't understand was that 'she' was the one to suggest the idea.
".. Chuuya?"
I repeated.
He didn't answer beyond tightening his grip on his forearms and rubbing them with his hands like he was cold.
We stood silently on the roof top, time seeming to stand still, the wind slowing down to something gentle as the cold feeling seemed to fade entirely.
I took a step closer to Chuuya.
He didn't move at all.
I took another.
He stood still.
One more.
I rested my jacket onto his shoulders, pulling the jacket mostly over him as the coat almost swallows him entirely.
He flinches, a flash of brown and blue eyes meeting mine for a moment before looking back to the side, grabbing the edges of his jacket instead of his arms to pull it more over him and keep it on himself as a particularly harsh wind passes by.
We stood silently together as I looked over him before looking back towards the sunset.
The silence was oldly peaceful for two people who the day before threatened to cut off each others heads and deliver it to their respective bosses.
What could be said anyway? There were too many questions and not enough answers that could be given.
".. Dazai.. I.."
Chuuya started, still not looking up as he bit his lip, shifting and pulling the jacket more over himself, almost hiding himself from the world.
"This is all stupid. Really fucking stupid."
I looked over at him as he finished, seeing that he was looking towards the sunset this time. I didn't have anything to say for once, letting him continue, but nothing came out of him.
Instead, he took a step towards the edge, then another. Without thinking, my hand darted out, grabbing the back of my own jacket, pulling him back before he could reach the edge, his eyes seeming to narrow towards the sun. I slowly walked towards the edge, pulling him along with me before sitting down, pulling my legs up to my chest, he sat down next to me, his legs hanging off the edge. I didn't let go of my jacket as he looked down at the cars rushing below, only tightening it as I looked down as well.
".. Is this high enough."
It didn't sound like a question coming from him. I nodded, and even if he wasn't looking at me, silent understanding passed through us, the kind that only happened after working with someone for almost a quarter of your life.
He gave a deep breath.
We were still going through with this, even if it wasn't my original intention to die with him of all people, yet, all of a sudden, if would feel wrong to die with anyone but him by my side.
Chuuya silently slipped his arms through the sleeves of my jacket, rolling up the sleeves as he nudged the arm connected to the hand holding the jacket, causing me to let go as I looked over at him.
Instead of saying anything, he slipped his gloved hand into mine, causing tension to shoot up my arm before quickly easing, my thumb brushing lightly over the back of his hand before nudging closer to him, resting my legs off the edge as well, looking down just like he was.
He tightened his grip on my hand as he edged closer to the edge, tightening my grip in response, nudging him lightly with my shoulder. He seemed to pause before stopping his movement, resting his free hand in his lap as we watched the road below together.
"You ready, Chuuya?"
He nodded slightly, taking a deep breath as he gripped his pants tightly in his lap as I looked over at him. He was afraid, I was too. This was his first time to my knowledge that he's tried to kill himself, much less with another person who was supposed to be his enemy.
After a moment, I squeezed his hand, gentler this time, and lightly tugged him towards the edge as I inched towards it.
"Your ability will save you if you regret this anyway, you haven't made skin to skin contact with me yet."
He nodded again, looking at me once again before making his way towards the edge. I offered him a gentle yet childish smile as we moved the final inch, no more building holding us back as his grip tightened on my hand to the point of bruising.
Wind rushed past us as I held his hand tightly, watching his eyes dart from me to the ground coming close beneath us, squeezing his eyes closed as the wing pushed at my coat.
My eyes softened as I moved closer to him, grabbing his other hand in mine and pulling him closer, watching as his eyes slowly unfurled as looked back at me, yet I remained smiling at him.
Before I even knew it, he moved himself closer to me, his lips pressing against mine softly, unlike the joking and drunk kisses he may have given me when teasing went too far, no teeth, no tongue, just gentle pressing. My eyes widened before drifting closed, pulling him closer, running my fingers through his tousled hair as he pulled back from the kiss and ducked his head under my chin, wrapping my arm around his waist as both of his wrapped around my torso in return.
The world seemed to slow for a moment before we hit the ground, holding Chuuya tightly as we curled into each other mid air. I could already hear the screams of parents overing their children's eyes, cars coming to a halt, phones being pulled out to take photos and call the nearest hospital. Yet none of that mattered in the moment.
Chuuya was scared of dying alone, so was I.
No wonder were holding each other so tightly