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Maybe at most, a fragment of my mind

Summary:

Saparata won the war and is crowned king. It is all he ever wanted for a while.

Yet one night he is awoken by whispers coming from his throne room. He follows them, there he finds Flux sitting on his throne. They start talking once more.

or

Saparata talks to Flux's basically ghost

Notes:

I think this is the first time i teared up while rereading one of my own fics. So warning, it's sad?

title from 'When I Close My Eyes' from Tom Odell!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The halls of Northern Council are cast in shadows, only a rare few torches cast their flames over newly placed banners. Silence hums in the air, for only to be broken by the wind rushing outside.

All but the king are asleep. His soft footsteps take a fraction of the night, as he restlessly roams through his newly won castle. Saparata left his crown at the side of his bed, the shadows and torches won't hold any worth to it anyways. And he is not used to wearing it yet.
Though his sword is held firmly in his hand.

He awoke to voices echoing through the door to his bedchamber. Almost whispers, pulling him from sleep. Not understandable, as they were too quiet. But the king felt a need to follow them anyways. He had cast a singular look at his worn battle armour in the corner, before taking only his sword and opening the door. There was nobody there, but the whispers did not stop. They trailed behind a corner, then another and another.

The stone halls stretch endlessly forwards. Keeping the king moving. He does not know where he is headed specifically, just that it is not sleep. He ponders the whispers as he walks, thinking that maybe it was voices of his fallen enemies. Is that not what the poets say will haunt you for the rest of your life? But Saparata is sure he holds no guilt, he is not ashamed of what he did, or he would not have done it. They must have been restless soldiers walking the halls like him.

The hallway ends at a wooden door. The whispers escaping from behind it. When opened it reveals the newly redecorated throne room. In front of Saparata, his throne looms high above him. The sparse moonlight of the few windows, falls onto its steps. As he enters the room, the whispers fall completely silent.

Saparata comes to a halt two step before his throne, letting his gaze follow upwards the stairs. A figure, half hidden in the shadows sits atop Saparata's throne. His hands rest on the golden armrests, Parrot's crown shimmers on his lap. His face holds only shadows, his hair matching the colour. Saparata knows who he is. Knows the shape of his face without seeing it. He has seen that shape every night in his dreams, during every battle, during all-

"Nice throne", the dead man's voice being a vague echo coming from above.

Saparata almost drops his sword.

"I would invite you to sit with me", Flux continues, "but there is only place for one I am afraid"

Flux remains hauntingly still on the throne above. Saparata stares at the vast blackness where his eyes should be.

He takes a deep breath,"Are you saying my throne isn't great enough"

The sword in his hand feels heavy, Saparata clutches it tighter.

"I am saying this seat can only hold one"

"It's made by the greatest sculptors in the kingdom, you know"

"Really?", Flux sounds like he doesn't believe him. But that could be his normal voice.

"There's more gold in there than what could buy bread for a lifetime"

"I suppose that is quite impressive, though a few more gemstones would not hurt"

Saparata lets out a shaky laugh,"You're impossible to please"

"I know"

"Anything else you want changed?"

For a few beats it is silent. Saparata moves his weight from right to left and back. Impatiently waiting for Flux's answer.

"I suppose a cushion would make sitting on the stone better and my neck hurts from looking down"

"Well, the cushion's arriving in a week and a king must-"

"is it purple?"

"why would it be purple?"

"Well, I like purple. It is a good colour"

"The cushion's red"

"A bit boring don't you think?"

"not really"

"well I think it is"

"And I'm king, so"

Flux lets out a scoff, so familiar, so almost really there.

"countless victorious battles, and you make the cushion red. Do you not have pride?"

"The war was not about a cushion"

"I would declare war for a cushion"

The king lets out a low chuckle at that. The great cushion war. One for the histories pages, poems and songs.

"I know you would"

"I would have my purple cushion within a days' time"

"I doubt that", Saparata says more out of habit.

"You doubt everything I say"

"I won the war, I'm allowed to judge you now"

"Yes, your little conquest...", Flux's tone shifts, the echo repeating his words louder this time, "Well come on then, tell me about this magnificent victory of yours"

What is there to say? There are many stories. The battle of Highwater, the siege of steampunk city or maybe even fort Featherfall. Saparata wants to tell Flux all about it. Brag about his genius plans and how they managed to snatch everything from Parrot. He casts a look at the window next to his throne, the moon has already reached its highest point. Soon enough the sun will rise, the castle will be alive again.

He does not want to fill their time with him talking. Tonight he just wants to hear Flux's voice again for as much as he can.

"That's an easy story, we crushed the failure kings' army and won". He spreads his arms wide, showing Flux the grandness of his won throne room.

"I know there is more to war than that", voice shifting to annoyance, "Do not treat me as a fool, Saps". The echo's repeat the nickname a thousand times over.

"alright, alright. Calm down", He hold the hand without the sword defensively in front, "The full story's just- long"

"Tell me about the winning move then"

"Now you are acting as a fool, the entire war was the winning move"

"So no epic battle stories then? No great sieges or strategic moves? Don't feel like bragging for once in your life?"

"I-", Saparata lets out a small sigh, "We won because, because the good guys always win"

"Oh, you are the good guy?"

"The better at least", the rooms stays silent for a while before Saparata tries again, "Come on I won"

Flux stays as unmoving as he has the entire conversation. Not even a twitch from his fingers or a movement of hair. And even as the moonlight shifts, his face stays hidden.

"War has no winners. Unless you carve that word onto the graves"

"believe me, for once, this one does"

"alright I believe you"

"you do?"

"yes"

"I don't believe that"

"Why would I doubt you?"

"cause you always do"

"I suppose you are right, I do quite like questioning all you say."

"So you think I didn't win?"

"How many people did you bury?"

"It's war", Saparata straightens his shoulders, lifting his chin further to look up at Flux, "People always die in war"

"So. War has no winners"

"alright I get it". Saparata thinks his words over for a few seconds, "I won this war more than Parrot, that better?"

"If that is what you believe, then I suppose it is"

"We crushed them in every battle"

"that you did"

"Parrot was a bad king. He deserved to be overthrown"

"What did he do wrong?"

Saparata lets his eyes fall onto Parrot's crown in Flux' lap. The golden band is simple in style, a few decently sized gems surrounding it. The different colours shimmering in the little moonlight that falls onto it. Contrasting the dark lit throne room.
Saparata will never wear the crown of that pretender.

"That pretender was too weak to rule"

"How so?"

"He failed as king. 'Everyone is safe now'", Saparata scoffs, "yet he let bandits roam free- He killed you!"

Flux hums as if lost in thought, like he does, "If me being dead means failure, you are already failing as king as well"

"That's unfair-"

"Nothing is fair"

"Now that I'm ruling instead of that fraud, things will be"

"that is a big promise to fulfil"

"I can do it"

"You will have to, otherwise the next conqueror will be at these gates."

"Nobody would dare to go against me"

Not that anybody that disagreed with him is still alive. Those outsiders, that came through the cleared up Witherpath, had long been hanged on Saparata's orders. Those that sided with Parrot during the war had met exile or been thrown into the sea. Only the Arachnid stood a chance, but they would have to treat their wounded first. So that alliance wouldn't be broken for a while. Though Saparata should definitely take measures in case of-

"There will always be survivors among the massacre."

"I'm not afraid of a few survivors"

"You were a survivor once"

Anger boils in Saparata's gut. "Are you suggesting I'm anything like those roaches that stole our land and food?!"

Flux stays silent. Yet Saparata can feel his judgement the same.

"When we survived the Witherpath to reach safety in this kingdom, we proved our worth. When Parrot cleared it, he let people who never had to bury their friends in. Liars and thieves who only saw easy opportunity to take everything that we worked hard for! They took everything from us, without bleeding to get it. Because Parrot let them."

"So what will you do now?"

"Like I said, now that I'm king. Everything will be fair again. Those who deserve a place in this kingdom will have one. These lands will be allowed to thrive once more under my rule! Without those who did nothing to gain a place here."

"Such hate...". The moonlight skims over the throne, its gold shimmering in the pale light. Never reaching Flux' face. "A shame, you used to be so loving"

"I used to be naïve." Saparata swallows, his throat feels dry. "look where that had gotten us"

"You are still naïve"

"I am not-"

"Tell me, Saps, what did you pay those finest sculptors and carpenters to build you this throne?"

Saparata scoffs, "I'm their king, they were glad to do it for free"

"See, naïve."

Saparata groans in frustration, "Always those riddles with you, just tell me what you mean!"

"The blood you used as payment, is going to dry out. Whose throat will you point to, to have slit open then?"

"I don't understand what you mean! I won't have to kill people anymore, I already won!"

"When those bandits attacked us-"

That terrible day flashes before Saparata's eyes again. How those bandits came out of nowhere, how they had laughed. Those sounds echoing on and on and on- How they had attacked, the chaos and the blood and the realisation. He had begged, begged the bandits, begged the gods, begged Flux, begged the earth.
He remembers the blood stained hand clutching his vest, he too begging silently. But in the end nothing worked, the hand forced to let go of his vest.

He can't take thinking of those eyes rolling back, his entire body turning cold. Nothing he could do. That terrible day, haunting all he does. Sitting on his throne.

Saparata gasps for air,"stop, please stop". He lets out a sob, "did Parrot send you, is this his curse for taking his kingdom?"

"Nobody send me"

"I don't believe you"

"That is your choice"

"Why do you torture me this way?"

"I am dead, do not all dead people torture the living"

"That's not an answer"

"Maybe I am not trying to give one"

"Then leave, if all you do is torture me and give no answers. I liked it better when you complained about the stupid cushion!"

"That topic is past, you can't go back and change that."

"Why not? Just go back to complaining about anything! Don't you just love to complain about everything I do? Always talking about how you could have done it better!"

Flux stays silent. It only irritates Saparata more. He takes a step forwards, closer to his throne.

"Come on, no longer talking in riddles you won't explain? No longer saying I'm this terrible person for starting a war- for you by the way, I started that war to give you justice! That is how much I love you! How dare you complain about it, how dare you die"

"You blame me for my death?"

Saparata sets another step forwards, standing right before the base of the stairs leading up.

"I don't see why not, while we are here blaming me for everything. Why not blame you too? You, Parrot, me aren't we just the worst bunch?!", Saparata lets out a laugh, "I am done with deciphering your riddles, tell why you are here or shut up"

He climbs the first step.

Armour clinks against the floor as a heavy door opens behind Saparata. He turns around to see a soldier storming into the throne room.

"Who goes there-" The soldier makes eye contact with his king, "Oh my lord, I heard voices..."

"Must have been the wind soldier, go back to your post"

The soldier seems to hesitate for a second, before bowing,"yes, my lord"

Saparata watches as the soldier turns around and leaves the throne room. The door echoing shut.

When he looks back up, the throne sits empty in the shallow light. And Flux is back where Saps left him. Hundreds of miles north, buried somewhere safe. Forever silent

Notes:

this was all written in a singular day. Also i really want to improve my dialogue, so feel free to comment anything you want about that!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading!