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Hawks really doesn’t know what road he’s on. Vaguely he knows he’s seen it before, but when he was in a car, and he’s so far away from Hosu after his wings gave out that he’s only letting his feet do the thinking now.
The reality hits him when he notices the familiar curve of the roof of the Paranormal Liberation Front mansion. Ah. Of course. He’s crawling back to the man he swore he never would again.
It doesn’t bother him as much as it should; probably because Hawks is sure Dabi’s already catching on to the fact that the protection the Commission claims to provide Hawks should be from themselves after all.
Also, it wouldn’t be so bad to not be alone after the day he’s had.
He stumbles into the mansion, but nobody greets him. It’s so far away from civilisation that they have minimal security, hiding in the shadows. They recognise Hawks. They don’t move to help him even as the light from the open doors illuminates the blood trailing behind him.
He trudges up the stairs as if they’re submerged in thick mud, then follows his usual path down the hallway, barely raising his hand to weakly knock on the door he’s been pushed against, pushed into and fucked into in the past two months.
The last one was on the other side. Unfortunately, the door wasn’t thick enough to muffle the noise and they were both teased for weeks.
The door opens even with Hawks’ barely audible knock, as if Dabi’s been expecting him. Hawks almost smiles at the thought, then realises the movement only brings him further to throwing up whatever poison the Commission gave him earlier all over the plush carpeted floors.
“Damn, birdie. The hell happened to you?” Dabi asks in his usual drawl. Hawks immediately comes back to focus, and his eyes clear as he moves his head up to look into Dabi’s bright blue ones. “Fuck. You’re out of it. Of course you are.” He mutters the last part, then holds Hawks—somehow not aggressively—and pulls him into his room, closing the door with his foot.
“Y’think they’ll get mad when they have to clean all that blood?” Hawks asks groggily. He can practically hear Dabi’s eye roll as the man makes him sit on the end of his bed, then leans down to be level with him. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself, idiot. What villain did you let beat you up this time?” He grabbed a first aid kit from under his bed, which had been used two or three times before.
Probably closer to ten.
“Mm…no villain.”
“Really? That because it’s one of your weird kinks?” Dabi asks, grinning at his own joke.
“Nah, it was th’ Commission.” Dabi stills, and then looks back up at Hawks through his eyelashes. “I think I pissed them off.”
“No shit. Jeez, Hawks—what the hell?” He grabs items from the kit with more fervour now, laying them out before he reaches up and tries to start taking off Hawks’ bloodied hero costume. Hawks jerks away and Dabi stops, pulling his hands back. “Okay. You want to do it?”
“I don’t want you to see me.” Hawks says, his mind rushing back to the present. “I-I don’t—“
“Hawks. Look at me.” Hawks blinks, and stares at Dabi. “You think I could look like this and judge you at all?”
“You’re good-looking.” Hawks points out.
Dabi scoffs. “I’m covered in shitty burns, bird. Can I please take off your costume so I can see the damage? Please.”
It’s never been like this before. Hawks and Dabi push and shove, cat and mouse, until they’re vulture and carcass. They don’t know which one will die and which one will feast, but they know it’ll be one of them eventually.
He’s never said please before.
Hawks gulps. “Okay.” He says quietly. Dabi nods and slowly, carefully, starts to rip Hawks’ hero costume to get to his mauled body. “I’ll get you a shirt after.”
“Mm.” Hawks hums, staring at Dabi’s face, refusing to look down at his body or even notice anything about it. Dabi’s face doesn’t move—his mouth doesn’t twitch into a frown or a smile, his eye doesn’t slip up in its concentration. Soon, he’s helping Hawks out of his costume, but he doesn’t move away after. Instead, he grabs the disinfectant and begins cleaning Hawks’ wounds. “Ow—“
“I know.” Dabi whispers. “Won’t take long, promise.”
“Hurts.” Hawks complains.
“Kill me for it later.” Dabi grins, and Hawks almost smiles too, until a wave of nausea comes over him. “What?”
“Poison. I think. I don’t know. Some drink.” Hawks rambles, trying to breathe evenly. “‘M probably gonna puke.”
“Breathe. I’ll get you some water.” Dabi says, finishing his cleaning of all the cuts on Hawks’ body then starting to bandage it. “Is this the worst?”
“It isn’t bad?” Hawks asks. He still hasn’t looked down.
“No, it’s bad. I’ve just seen worse.” Dabi looks back up at Hawks’ face. “Dammit, you’re pale.”
“I have patrol—“
“No. You’re staying here for at least a day so I can check up on you.” He ties off the bandage and Hawks glares at him. “It’s not even that tight. Stop complaining.”
“Feels like my insides are being rearranged.” Dabi smirks. “Ew, you pervert. I hate you.”
“Then why’d you come here?” Dabi asks. Hawks doesn’t respond, only staring at him.
“My name is Keigo.” He blurts out. Dabi freezes, the roll of bandage falling out of his hand as he rolls up the excess. It rolls down the room, stopping at the door to the bathroom.
Dabi straightens himself so their eyes are on the same level, his own constantly flitting around, as if he’s searching for something. A lie, perhaps. “Why?” He mutters.
“I don’t know. That’s what my mom chose.”
“No, you high on adrenaline idiot. Why did you tell me?” Dabi asks urgently, staring straight into Hawks’ irises. “Why me?”
“One day they’ll probably make me forget. I want you to remind me, even if it’s when you’re dying in my arms.” Hawks whispers. He doesn’t really realise what he’s said until he has said it, but he knows that, deep down, it’s right. It makes sense.
It’s probably the only time his words haven’t had the hint of a lie behind them. The only time he’s ever been sincere in the presence of someone who used to be just a good fuck whenever they were both annoyed.
He’s different now. Something’s different. Something’s changed since Hawks uttered his real name one minute ago. There’s a shift in the air already.
Dabi doesn’t say anything. He stares at Hawks for a moment more, then stands up. Ignoring the long roll of bandage on the floor, he enters the bathroom and fills a cup up with water, then returns to Hawks and hands it to the man. Hawks starts slowly drinking as Dabi reaches into his dresser and chucks a shirt beside him. “No shorts?”
“You can sleep in your boxers, I’m sure.”
“Pervert.” Hawks mumbles. Dabi rolls his eyes and takes the cup, helping Hawks into the shirt.
“You need to rest your arms. Seems like they ache.” Hawks hums in response, but doesn’t provide any explanation. Dabi purses his lips in response. “Are you alright?”
“I don’t know. Might need my greatest enemy to cuddle me in bed.” Dabi glares at Hawks, but doesn’t say anything against his words. “Well?”
“As long as you don’t need help laying down.” Dabi teases, heading back to the bathroom door to both close it and to roll up the bandages again. Hawks shifts on the bed and gets himself to lay down, then props himself up to drink more of his water.
Dabi returns to his side and takes his shirt off, then sits up next to Hawks. “Lights?”
“Off. Hurt my eyes.” Hawks says, putting his cup down on the bedside table. Dabi grabs the remote from his table and turns off all the lights.
Hawks blinks to respond to the darkness, his eyes adjusting quickly. His handlers haven’t quite worked out how to get rid of that simple quirk yet.
He almost moves away when Dabi reaches out, then reminds himself of where he is and leans in, placing his ear over Dabi’s heart. Dabi shifts slightly, then sighs. His hand reaches up and starts to card through Hawks’ hair, occasionally ruffling a feather or two.
Hawks breathes more easily, and he’s sure Dabi notices because he leans in closer, as if confessing a secret on some sleepover. “They didn’t do anything else?” Hawks’ feathers sharpen, betraying him. “Hawks—“
“Don’t—“
“Keigo.” Dabi whispers. “Tell me if they did anything else. Let me help you.”
“It’s not something you would like.” Dabi doesn’t say anything, then lifts his hand. He touches Hawks’ chin to lift it, in order to get Hawks to look at him. Hawks knows Dabi can’t see him, but Dabi knows Hawks can see him, and that’s enough. “My handlers. They wanted to get rid of more bird quirks. They found out they come out more when…whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He closes his eyes tightly, pushing whatever memories or thoughts that have just resurfaced out of his mind.
Dabi huffs. “You shouldn’t be so flippant. You shouldn’t still be there.”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Keigo.” Hawks flinches at his name—his real name. “You don’t have a choice because they make you think you don’t have one. What’s stopping you from—what—moving to Antarctica and cutting all ties?”
“It’s not that easy. They have tracking—“
“Then tell me where it is and I’ll get the device out.” Dabi urges. “We—you can run away. Fly away. Anything. The only way they’re keeping you there is by infiltrating your mind.” Dabi prods Hawks’ forehead. “But I know you can get out.”
“We?” Hawks asks quietly.
Dabi stares at him. “No—no, we’re not a team or anything. I didn’t say that.”
“You did.” Hawks whispers.
Dabi continues to look at him, then pulls his chin closer and kisses him, but not like the other times they’ve kissed. When they’re fighting, running in circles, trying to gain the upper hand and find out if heroes or villains will win in this sick game of tag. This is soft, purposeful, a promise of something that neither of them can ever feel or have; love. Not proper love. Not love either of them deserve after the things they’ve gone through, but love they deserve after the things they’ve done.
When Dabi pulls away, he utters one word, “Touya.” Then, he lets go of Hawks’ chin and lets the hero return to his chest, where he listens to his broken heart.
“Touya.” Hawks repeats. Despite himself, he says, “Nice to meet you.”
Dabi snorts, the air around them loosening. “Nice to meet you too, Keigo.”
“Night-night.” Hawks whispers. Dabi pulls the covers over him.
“Night-night.” He humours. “…Don’t leave in the morning.”
For some reason, Hawks listens.