Chapter Text
the schmungus
— Diego has been added to the group
subooby: what
subooby: who ts
letitgo: i thought we needed a bassist
kiana: where did you find him?
letitgo: at a rammstein concert
subooby: he knows peak ❤️🩹
vinted: Are you sure you didn’t hallucinate him?
letitgo: kys
vinted: 🫶
vinted: So, does he talk or what?
Diego: who uses punctuation in text
Diego: holy unc
letitgo: first thing he says and its vytit slander so i know i won
vinted: 🖕
vinted: Do you live nearby? Practise is already hard enough with Elsa like an hour away.
Diego: mummy told me not to share my address online
vinted: You live with your mother?
Diego: NO
subooby: guys i just saw the tallest guy cosplaying as a knight in front of the cathedral
kiana: smash
vinted: 💔💔
Diego: smash
vinted: @letitgo Did you bond because you’re both gay? It seems so.
Diego: *bi
letitgo: ur so homophobic 💔
vinted: No I’m not…
subooby: icl seeing an actual name with a capital letter is so jarring
letitgo: uhhhh
—letitgo has changed Diego’s nickname to diesel
kiana: why diesel of all things
letitgo: he drove me home cause jade was out and it was late
subooby: survival instincts of an ant
letitgo: me or diego
vinted: Diego.
letitgo: 😭😭
kiana: tbh i was thinking of recording a song
subooby: will ts also be about your ex
letitgo: finally someone said it
vinted: It’s nice to see that she doesn’t want him back, so I’m fine with it.
letitgo: toxic masculinity core
kiana: no he’s so fun to write lyrics about
subooby: like that one song where you said you wanted to blind him so that you could be alone 😭
diesel: i fw that actually
kiana: wow what a diva ❤️🩹
vinted: Oh my gosh can you guys buy milk if you use it up???
vinted: There isn’t a fairy godmother for groceries.
subooby: i bought milk
vinted: Who in their right mind is going to use soya?
subooby: they only had the gross semi-skimmed milk
vinted: Valid. I take it back.
diesel: so you all live tg??
kiana: yeah, but sometimes elsa stays w Jade instead of us
subooby: yeah 💔💔
diesel: bro any room for one more?? my roommate is trying to get me into a three way with his girl
subooby: are they hot??
diesel: he’s lwk a chud…
diesel: he stays on his pc all day and talks to his girl on dc
letitgo: 😭😭😭😭
letitgo: is she an ekitten
diesel: yes I fear
vinted: I don’t see why you shouldn’t move in. It’s pretty big for a penthouse
subooby: just a warning the clock is fucking loud
diesel: uh ok 💔
diesel: friday good?
kiana: sure, text vytis and he’ll meet u with the paperwork and shit
subooby: lmao imagine your chud finding out you’re leaving him to pay all by himself 😭😭😭😭
diesel: marking it on my calendar 😍
diesel: im sick of seeing his clothes everywhere
03:56
diesel: i could play the doctor I could cure your disease
diesel: if you were a sinner I could make you believe
subooby: lady gaga mentioned?? 🥹
letitgo: peak
vinted: Is now the time to remind you of the group chat that was made just so you could lyric dump?
subooby: well diego didn’t know about it so
vinted: Invite him so he doesn’t have to lyric dump in main chat
diesel: wow what an unc 💔💔