Work Text:
Lan Yuan was sitting at the dining table, his pencil in one hand while a worksheet from school was in front of him. "Baba?"
Wei Wuxian had a cutting board at the table with a knife in his hand as he chopped some mushrooms. Lan Zhan liked to give Lan Yuan space when he was working on schoolwork, but he preferred staying nearby in case his son needed help. "Hmm?"
Lan Yuan looked up from his schoolwork. "How did you and Diedie fall in love?"
Wei Wuxian stopped chopping the mushrooms. He recalled his first day of school. It was the day after orientation and he was expected to not get into so much trouble by Uncle Jiang. Madam Yu had zero hope that he would be able to stay out of trouble—but he knew to brush off her criticisms.
Well, he was lucky Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu headed off to work early so neither of them could find out he had gotten up later than he had anticipated. Everyone thought it was his fault, but he really blamed Nie Huaisang. His dear friend had sent him PDFs of the erotica books he had stolen from his brother and Wei Wuxian would be lying if he said he hadn't stayed to read everything his friend had sent him.
He was exhausted when he forced himself to get up. There was no he was going to be able to function normally at school when he was sleepy. So naturally, he grabbed his cure-all—two bottles of Emperor's Smile and ran to school.
If he was lucky, he could sneak in during roll-call. He had been cheering himself on as he entered the building and made his way to his homeroom when he saw him.
A boy was standing in front of a hallway that led to a few classrooms. One of the classrooms at the end was Wei Wuxian's. As he got closer, he got a better look at the stranger. The boy was handsome with cold, light eyes. It was like looking at ice if it could be personified. The boy wore all white—which was the oddest thing to him in the world. There's no way his clothes stay clean! he had thought when examining the boy.
Wei Wuxian had shrugged it off until he realized the boy wasn't in class either. "You're late too, huh?" he asked the boy, grinning.
"No." Wei Wuxian was a little startled by the deep voice. He supposed it suited the cold boy.
Weird. If the boy wasn't late too... Wei Wuxian hissed. Orientation had gone over that some students were given the roles of being hall monitors to make sure any late students were "handled properly"—a trip to the principal's office.
If this boy was the hall monitor, Jiang Cheng would have argued that his plan was crumbling. Speaking of his brother, he had a bone to pick with him for leaving without him!
Wei Wuxian had stopped thinking about his traitor of a brother and chuckled. "Hey, so... I know I'm late, but I'm here, right? That's all that matters!"
The boy's icy gaze didn't melt. "No tardiness will be allowed. Those who are late are punished, not rewarded."
Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes at the other boy. Ironically, he was starting to sound as robotic as Lan Qiren had sounded when he had given the same speech during orientation. Could they be related? he wondered.
"I won't do it again, okay?" That's a lie and you know it, Jiang Cheng would have said. Even he couldn't believe what he was telling the other boy. He had wondered what he could do to get on the boy's good side when he remembered what he had on him. He took a bottle of Emperor's Smile out.
The boy had gasped, his icy eyes widening in shock.
"How 'bout some Emperor's Smile? I don't mind sharing with a friend!" Sure, he had just met this boy, but he didn't need Lan Qiren calling Uncle Jiang this early in the year. "If you let this slide, I'll give you one!" There was no way he was going to give both bottles to the boy.
The boy scrunched up his face in disgust, raising his chin a bit. "No alcohol is prohibited on the premises. Alcohol will be confiscated and punishment will be ruled out."
Wei Wuxian craned his neck, becoming a little tired of these rules that kept coming out of this boy. Did he have all 3,000 rules memorized? He had begged Uncle Jiang to send him elsewhere—there was no way he could survive a place that had more rules than the school had textbooks.
"Diedie liked how cool I was!" Wei Wuxian said, winking at his baby. He thought it was boring to go over the nitty-gritty of it all. When Lan Yuan was older, he could give him the full story.
Lan Yuan gasped in awe. "Baba is cool!" The little boy picked up his large pack of crayons that were in the middle of the table.
Wei Wuxian had bought the crayons while Lan Zhan had been eyeing the options of smaller packs of crayons.
Lan Yuan didn't understand why his diedie had been looking at the other crayons, but he had been happy about the ones he had gotten. Now he had so many colors to pick from. When Jin Ling came over, he liked using any color that was a part of the yellow shades—they no longer had to fight about using the yellow since there were so many shades. Lan Yuan could use a yellow when be was drawing little suns without worrying about Jin Ling.
Lan Yuan wonders what his baba did that was cool that caused his diedie to fall in love. "Did you get Diedie a pack of crayons too?"
Wei Wuxian hummed in thought, knowing he had never offered Lan Zhan any crayons. His husband wasn't the Lan that liked that form of art—that was all his brother-in-law. Even if it wasn't crayons he was offering Lan Zhan, he knew not to mention alcohol around his son. He wasn't an idiot. He knew alcohol wasn't a children's drink.
His in-laws did know how much he loved to drink and had wondered (Lan Qiren, specifically) if he should even be around a child with his alcoholic habits. Lan Qiren had even made him swear to never drink around Lan Yuan. He scoffed at Lan Qiren's thoughts on that—Old Lan was dramatic as always. His baby wasn't going to become an alcoholic.
Wei Wuxian took the bowl of chopped mushrooms and headed towards the stove where a pot of rice was cooking. "A-Yuan loves strawberry milk, right?"
Lan Yuan nodded his head in excitement. "Strawberry milk is the best!" He thought of the mini bottles of strawberry milk he was able to have from time to time. His diedie said he couldn't have them all the time for his health since they were really sweet, but to him they just tasted good. Jin Ling and he had recently gotten into an argument on what flavored milk was the best—even his baba agreed strawberry reigned supreme over banana milk.
Thinking of said milk, Lan Yuan eyed the fridge. "Can I have milk, Baba?"
Lan Zhan would have probably said no since Lan Yuan had one already, but his fuddy-duddy husband had spoiled their baby with a ton of rabbit toys when their son was a baby. He should get to spoil their son too.
"Yes." Wei Wuxian went to the fridge, opened up the door and grabbed a bottle from the highest shelf. Lan Yuan was the only one that drank them, but Lan Zhan believed it was best to keep it at on a top shelf so Lan Yuan wouldn't be able to just grab the sweet drink for himself. Lan Zhan rationalized it by saying he didn't want their son to become addicted to the drink.
Wei Wuxian walked towards the table and handled a strawberry milk to Lan Yuan.
Lan Yuan's eyes sparkled at the drink, opening the lid to it. He took a sip while writing down what his baba had started telling him. "So you offered Diedie strawberry milk?"
Wei Wuxian snapped his fingers, recalling what Lan Yuan and he were talking about before. "Ah yes!" He cleared his throat, recalling where he left off. He could still remember how surprised he was that he couldn't win Lan Zhan over with some free alcohol—he had been able to with other kids his age when he needed a favor from them.
"Y'know, you standing there telling me the rules is just making us both late, you realize that, right?" Wei Wuxian had told the other boy, not really understanding the problem when had made it to school.
The boy didn't seem to understand. "Once you're punished, you can carry on with attending your classes." Huh, he sure loves rules, Wei Wuxian had thought, knowing he was already going to earn a scolding from Jiang Cheng once he finally made it to class.
"And you're sure I can't offer you some of Caiyi's finest?" Wei Wuxian dangled the bottle once more as if it was catnip and the boy was a cat. "I think you're making a mistake here, my friend. You'd be missing out!"
"We're not friends."
Wei Wuxian had widened his eyes like he had when Nie Huaisang first showed him the beauty of erotica books. "Oh, look at that! So he can actually say something else besides the rules!"
The boy's eyebrows pinched together.
"Look, I'll keep the liquor in my bag so no one sees it. I won't even tell them that you knew if I get caught," he said, stuffing the bottle back in his backpack. "Whatcha think?" he asked with a little wink.
The boy shook his head. He wasn't having it. He repeated the same rules he had mentioned before.
"I told him how delicious strawberry milk was!" Wei Wuxian recalls trying his hardest to convince Lan Zhan to let him go, but someone wasn't called a fuddy-duddy for no reason. Lan Zhan, especially at fifteen, was a stick-in-the-mud. "Diedie didn't want any!"
Lan Yuan gasped in shock. He couldn't imagine why his diedie could reject strawberry milk so much. Lan Yuan mumbled. "Diedie doesn't hate strawberries..." He has watched his diedie eat strawberries all the time. Lan Yuan wondered why his Diedie didn't want any of the milk. "Why didn't Diedie want milk?"
Wei Wuxian sighed deeply. "I guess I'm being too harsh on your diedie, A-Yuan." He placed a hand on his hip as he stirred the rice in the pot. "He had never drank strawberry milk before..." Wei Wuxian sighed in relief at thousands of rules every Lan family member followed that he no longer had to try and follow. Every day he thanked the gods that he wasn't raised by the Lans. "Yeye didn't let him or Bofu drink any."
Lan Yuan frowned sadly, abandoning his pencil and holding his strawberry milk close to him like it was one of his rabbit plushes. "Why didn't Yeye let Baba have strawberry milk?"
Wei Wuxian chuckled, knowing Lan Qiren had felt like a villain in his teenage years, knowing there was no way his nephews felt the same (even though his brother-in-law admitted Old Lan might have been a little hard on them).
However, he was over any past grievances. They were in-laws now and while he'll always remember Lan Qiren had disapproved of him for Lan Zhan (he never would have anticipated he would have something in common with Nie Mingjue), he would also never forget how Lan Qiren had helped throughout the years especially with Lan Yuan's arrival.
Sure, Old Lan would always maybe have preferred someone else for Lan Zhan but he had won the Lan over long ago.
"Yeye probably wasn't allowed any strawberry milk when he was a kid too." Wei Wuxian laughed. If Lan Qiren had ever had alcohol, he probably would pass out after one drink like Lan Zhan. The Lans were an odd bunch.
Lan Yuan made a sad sound. "Poor Yeye." He took a long sip from his strawberry milk. "I'll give him one next time."
"He'd love that." Wei Wuxian smiled proudly at his baby, patting Lan Yuan's head.
Lan Yuan added more to his worksheet in front of him. "What did you do when Baba didn't accept the milk?"
Wei Wuxian took a step towards the boy. When he moved to the right, the boy followed. When he moved to the left, the boy was there. When he tried to try the middle, the boy was there too!
"Tian-ah!" He had pouted like a child at the boy who wasn't letting him do anything. "You're really not gonna let me through?"
"You must be punished," the boy repeated for what felt like the millionth time.
One thing he would come to learn about his future husband was that Lan Zhan was determined, he didn't half-ass anything. So no entry for him.
"And still! He didn't want any..." Wei Wuxian muttered under his breath. "...my martial arts skills didn't even help
Lan Yuan gaped his mouth like a baby goldfish. Jumping off his seat with his milk, abandoning his schoolwork, he approached his baba. "Baba fought Diedie?"
Wei Wuxian looked down at Lan Yuan, a defeated sound croaking from his throat. "Uh..." What baby wouldn't be sad to know his parents had fought? He waved a hand dismissively. "No, no, no, A-Yuan, we didn't fight we..." He had to reword and explain quick.
Lan Zhan and he had used their fighting skills to try and beat the other. Looking back at it, it almost felt like a romantic dance in a way.
Gosh, romance and marriage had turned him cheesy, hadn't it?
Thinking of Lan Zhan's strength (that he happened to have at fifteen), Wei Wuxian snapped his fingers. He could always trust something Lan-ish to fall back on. "Y'know how Diedie can do handstands?"
A smile replaced Lan Yuan's sad face, nodding excitedly. "Diedie can! I tried too!" He then pouted, groaning sadly. "I couldn't though..."
Wei Wuxian patted his son on the shoulder. "A-Yuan is too young. Diedie has been doing it for years."
Wei Wuxian had been shocked finding out too, but it did wonders for Lan Zhan's arm strength whenever he felt like manhandling him. He had no complaints there. He shook his head like he was trying to shake water off, letting any naughty thoughts vanish. "Anyway, we challenged each other on who could do a handstand for the longest..." Placing a hand on his chest and lifting his chin a little, he said, "If I won, he had to have some strawberry milk. If he won, he didn't have to."
He just wanted to get to class. If he had known someone would be trying to stop him, he would have just stayed home.
Did I really want to get another scolding from Madam Yu? He wanted to say no, but if this fuddy-duddy wasn't going to let him go, he would end up being scolded by the harsh woman anyway.
He had to try!
Wei Wuxian moved swiftly to the left of the boy, and when the boy extended his palm to stop him, he dodged it. While the boy had moved towards the left, Wei Wuxian had taken the chance to move to the right.
Ha! Just a few more steps and then he could go down the hallway and make it to homeroom!
Right when he made it a few steps into the hallway, he was pulled back as his right wrist was snatched and he was forced out of the hallway. Wei Wuxian used his other hand to punch the boy, but the light-eyed boy ducked.
He couldn't lie. This was fun.
Fighting with Jiang Cheng was never this exciting or challenging.
There was an air of confidence in the way the boy responded to his movements. He didn't pinch his eyebrows angrily or start losing his cool when Wei Wuxian got the upper hand. The boy just kept engaging with him—almost as if to him, it was life and death that he sees "justice" being dished out.
After some kicks and punches and even being tossed and kicking at the wall, the boy grabbed his backpack during the brawl. Wei Wuxian fell to his knees to catch his backpack when he heard it—
KLINK!
He had met his match that day. It went to show another reason why the red string of fate had decided to tie their fingers together forever.
Lan Yuan hummed in curiosity. "Did you win?"
Wei Wuxian placed the shredded chicken and mushrooms he had in a bowl into the big pot of congee on the stove. He didn't want to admit that Lan Zhan had beat him, but he didn't need to necessarily. "You've seen Diedie! He's the king of handstands." He couldn't deny that Lan Zhan could do handstands and he couldn't. He could beat his husband at swimming anyway, but he was out of his league when it came to handstands.
Lan Yuan giggled at the memories of watching his diedie doing his frequent handstands. His diedie told him he did it when he needed to clear his head. Lan Jingyi said one day they had to learn so they could see who could do it for the longest.
Lan Yuan looked down at his strawberry milk. "So Diedie didn't get to have any milk?"
Wei Wuxian clenched his teeth at the shattering of the bottles of Emperor's Smile that had fell to the tile floor of the school. And the sound of Lan Qiren's footsteps arriving at the scene. It had been the first strike he had been gotten and it wouldn't be the last.
"He didn't... until way, way later," he said. It'd be years when he had successfully gotten Lan Zhan to drink a single cup of Emperor's Smile just to find out how odd of a drunk his future husband would end up being. The Lans were so odd, but he loved his Lans.
Lan Yuan jumped in excitement. "Yay! Diedie deserves strawberry milk!"
Wei Wuxian agreed. "Doesn't he? It's so good!" He reached for the chilies, stopping to eye his son. He sometimes had to remember it wasn't just a Lan Zhan-and-he meal sometimes. He moved his hand away from the spicy ingredient.
Lan Yuan asked. "So... Diedie fell in love with Baba then?"
Wei Wuxian had asked Lan Zhan the same thing when he found out the other man was interested in him.
Once, he was convinced that Lan Zhan hated him. And he was fine with that reality. He got enjoyment out of teasing the fuddy-duddy, believing they were at least friends. He didn't believe it when Lan Zhan told him that it was the first time he saw him when he fell for him.
Out of all the people in the world, how was he the one who ended up with someone who fell in love with him at first sight?
His brother-in-law, the always gentle Lan Xichen, wasn't surprised, telling him, "Our Fuqin had fallen in love like that." The Lans were truly a peculiar breed.
"Yes," he answered Lan Yuan, a soft smile making its way on his face. He bent his head down to take a whiff of the congee. The nice aroma had his stomach growling. "Diedie couldn't help how cool I was by offering him strawberry milk when he hadn't been allowed to have any."
Lan Zhan had called him "the most preposterous thing in his rational world" and that had done it for him. Wei Wuxian had kissed him right after, unable to keep his emotions from staying bottled up.
Lan Yuan eyed the two mushrooms that remained in the bowl. "Is that when you fell in love with Diedie too?"
Wei Wuxian caught Lan Yuan's gaze. He took the mushrooms and held them out for his baby.
Lan Yuan beamed at the mushrooms, taking the two he was given. "Thank you, Baba!'
Wei Wuxian thought of when he had fallen in love with Lan Zhan. Sure, he had thought the other boy was handsome during their first meeting—a huge fuddy-duddy, but he had his fun teasing the other boy. At that age, he didn't think they'd be anything but school friends. He hadn't expected Lan Zhan to stay in his life for as long as he had and he was grateful for that. It was all that time they had continued to spend together when he noticed his heart would beat a little faster when he was around Lan Zhan. "It was all the time I spent with your diedie after when I fell in love with him." Lan Zhan might have fell first, but he ended up catching up with him.
Lan Yuan smiled sweetly. "Diedie and Baba have the best love story!
"We do, don't we?" Wei Wuxian wanted to applaud himself. He had been swearing to Jiang Cheng that Lan Zhan and he were the cutest couple ever—his baby was proving him wrong.
The sound of the front door could he heard.
Lan Yuan turned around. "Diedie!" He placed his strawberry milk on the table and ran out of the kitchen.
Wei Wuxian grabbed a ladle from the nearest drawer and started scooping out some of the congee into three separate bowls he had on the side. He moved away from the stove to start getting the side dishes ready. When he turned back he saw his husband carrying Lan Yuan in his arms.
Lan Zhan walked over towards his son's schoolwork. "What's this?"
Lan Yuan pointed at the worksheet. "It's family week! We're writing about our family" He smiled adorably.
Lan Zhan skimmed Lan Yuan's writing on what he had written already. "Strawberry milk?"
Lan Yuan nodded, leaning closer to his diedie. "It's how Baba and Diedie met!"
Lan Zhan looked at Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian laughed. "Wouldnt you agree, Lan Zhan, we have a romantic story?"
Lan Zhan nodded. "Mmn."
Lan Yuan raised hands triumphantly. "Diedie is the king of handstands!"
Wei Wuxian clapped. "He is, he is! He could beat anyone at handstands, A-Yuan!"
Lan Zhan smiled at him in that lovingly way that Wei Wuxian knew well. It was the type of smile you gave someone that meant the world to you. Lan Yuan became the second person to be given that smile after they became parents.
It was funny to think of a time when Lan Zhan never smiled.
Lan Yuan nuzzled his head closer to Lan Zhan's face. "I want to be able to do handstands like Diedie!"
Lan Zhan placed a soft kiss on Lan Yuan's forehead. "Diedie will teach you."
Wei Wuxian took two of the side dishes to the dining table. "Now, now, let's have our dinner, hmm? A-Yuan, you can't become a handstand apprentice until you've gotten a full meal in your belly." He grinned at his husband. "Don't you agree, Lan Zhan?"
"Mmn." Lan Zhan gently set Lan Yuan down, softly petting the top of his head. "A-Yuan must eat to get stronger."
Lan Yuan bounced on his toes, moving forward to hug Lan Zhan's leg. "A-Yuan will eat and get strong like Diedie!"
"A-Yuan, what about me?" Wei Wuxian frowned, thinking of how earlier Lan Yuan had said he was cool. "Does A-Yuan not want to be like Baba?"
Lan Yuan giggled, his eyes becoming tiny crescents. "A-Yuan wants to be like Diedie and Baba!"
Lan Zhan patted Lan Yuan's shoulder. "Put your stuff away, A-Yuan. It's time for dinner."
"Mmn!" Lan Yuan mimicked Lan Zhan adorably, nodding his head and running to the table to take his schoolwork into his room.
When he brought over the bowls of congee, Wei Wuxian noticed a look Lan Zhan was giving him. It was similar to the examining look his husband used to give him back in high school. It was the look that meant Lan Zhan was trying to figure something out.
Lan Zhan walked towards him.
He wondered if it was about their story.
"I couldn't tell our five-year-old about our alcohol incident, could I?" Wei Wuxian chuckled, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "We don't need to get a call from A-Yuan's teacher, do we? Plus, Old Lan said he didn't want A-Yuan becoming an alcoholic like me, 'memeber?"
Lan Zhan wrapped his arms around him, planting a hand on his hip. Wei Wuxian shuddered lightly when he felt Lan Zhan's lips on his earlobe. "Wei Ying is perfect."
Wei Wuxian laughed, no bitterness could be heard. "Old Lan wouldn't agree with that, would he?"
Lan Zhan placed a kiss on Wei Wuxian's temple. "Shufu can be misinformed."
"Ha! You mean he can be wrong?" Dramatically, Wei Wuxian slapped the back of his hand on his forehead. "Who knew I'd live to hear that Lan Qiren isn't always right about something? Perhaps I've died and gone to Heaven!"
Lan Zhan growled, tickling a deep feeling within Wei Wuxian. He felt Lan Zhan's thin fingers stroking his hair. "Wei Ying isn't dead."
Wei Wuxian looked at his husband. Those beautiful light eyes were staring back at him intensely. He could forever get lost in those eyes.
Fifteen-year-old him would have never believed he would end up marrying Lan Wangji in the future. Fifteen-year-old him didn't even want love or marriage. He thought all he wanted in life was freedom and fun.
He was right that his fifteen-year-old self had been wrong about a few things. Thank goodness for hall monitors, huh?
Wei Wuxian captured Lan Zhan's lips. Lan Zhan replied, deepening the kiss. In a teasing manner, Wei Wuxian slipped his tongue in his husband's mouth. Lan Zhan's hand tightened on his hip—he knew what was going through his husband's mind.
Lan Zhan was the one who pulled away first, both of them bringing heavily while their lips being inches from each other.
Wei Wuxian smirked at him.
"Diedie, Baba!" Lan Yuan announced loudly as he returned to the room. Both parents looked at their baby, remembering they were not alone. "A-Yi was telling me about his pet fish!"
Lan Zhan glanced back at him. "Later," Lan Zhan promised, the hunger in those eyes dimming slowly.
He didn't say a single thing as he let Lan Zhan drag him towards the dining table.
Lan Yuan babbled on about Lan Jingyi and his pet fish his uncle had gifted him. Wei Wuxian didn't doubt that this would cause his son to ask for a pet too. As long as Lan Yuan didn't ask for a dog, it was fine. It was still a little hard visiting Jin Ling when the boy already had a dog.
Wei Wuxian stared at Lan Yuan, animatedly talking while Lan Zhan listened intently like he did back in all his classes. He loved his little family.