Land of Nod

Tony finally mustered up the courage to enter Gibbs house. He considered knocking and waiting for someone to answer to delay it more, but knew that would just be cowardice on his part. Instead, he walked right in like he used to do before Gibbs left on his sojourn to Mexico.

As he entered the house, he easily spotted Palmer who was still by the window, but had glanced over to watch him as he opened the door. “Palmer.” Tony greeted coolly.

Jimmy cringed. He much preferred Tony’s nicknames to his impersonal Palmer greeting. He hoped that between Gibbs and him they’d be able to apologize and make Tony feel better and like he could trust them again.

Tony settled in the only chair in the living room not wanting to sit on either couch and possibly have to actually sit touching one of the guys. He could hear Gibbs moving around in the kitchen fixing something and that maybe hurt more than it should as well since he’d never known Gibbs could cook more than steaks.

Deciding the best course of action was to try and ignore it and just let them do whatever they had planned since they were the ones who wanted him here, Tony leaned his head back and attempted to drift off to the land of Nod.

Jimmy had been working up his courage to try and explain or start a conversation or something, but when he saw Tony fall asleep it completely derailed his plans. Instead he went in to talk to Gibbs and help him finish with the cooking, however he could.

Tony wasn’t actually asleep. He was mostly faking it and still aware of his surroundings, but Jimmy didn’t know that. Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about Jimmy disappearing into the kitchen with Gibbs. Gibbs hadn’t even greeted him and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that either.

At least their leaving him alone gave him time to prepare for whatever they were going to throw his way tonight. To shove down his emotions as deep as he could, so that no matter what they threw at him, they wouldn’t be able to hurt him further. He kind of wished he could lie down on the couch as it would be more comfortable, but he couldn’t bear to give them some kind of excuse to touch him after what he saw in autopsy.

He’d really thought both Gibbs and Palmer saw through his act and actually trusted him and cared for him. He was kind of glad that Gibbs didn’t remember what happened between them now. Even though it had truly hurt when Gibbs ditched him for Mexico. In a way, it was practice for finding out that neither of the people he trusted believed in him. He wished that he could stop the hurt he felt now. Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe it was truly impossible for him to actually make friends who cared about him beyond what he could do for them.