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people tended to stare at him now that his face was the mess it was. it didn’t bother him, hadn’t since the first month out of the hospital. he knew what he looked like, the thin silver-pink scars running lines over his cheeks, bisecting his eyebrow, dipping over his nose, and cutting across his bottom lip. his friends, those he had left, assured him that he was still handsome, could still get anyone he wanted. chicks dig scars, they told him, assuming he’d be too traumatized to continue playing for his own team as well as the opposite after everything that had happened. kameron didn’t care, honestly.
what had happened hadn’t been his fault, his therapist had said. him being targeted, being stalked, being terrorized, and then being attacked; none of it was because of him. he knew, of course he did, but still something inside of him couldn’t help but to replay every moment between the beginning and the end. what if he hadn’t engaged with ricky? what if he had simply walked away that day and ignored the poor guy trying to gather up the papers knocked out of his hand? kameron can’t help think things would have been different, that he could have spared aiden from the horror that took over both of their lives, that eventually tore aiden from him.
his therapist says there isn’t any reason to dwell on the past. things are finished, aiden and him are no longer together, his face is what it is. still, kameron wishes. he really doesn’t mind the stares, knows his outward appearance doesn’t matter in the long scheme of life, but god, the alienation does kill him. losing aiden, losing most of their mutual friends, that’s what tears him up.
he’s never been an introvert. he was practically born a social butterfly, loves everything about people, and now that he’s basically a social pariah; it’s hard, okay? not being invited to hang out as often, being avoided, people not picking up his calls. he knows that at first they were giving him space, but he hasn’t wanted that in months. he wants his friends, his people. the longer he’s alone, the harder it is for him to leave well enough alone.
“kameron,” the barista calls from the counter, pulling him from his thoughts. he shoves his phone into his pocket, ignoring the guilt needling at him, and moves to stand.
his order sits on the wood top, pushed near the end. he quickly grabs it, avoiding the curious looks from the workers behind the counter, and heads out the door. it’s chilly, mid morning cool having his breath huffing out in puffs of white. he tugs his jacket collar higher, curses himself for not going ahead and wearing his heavier pullover instead. he’s never been smart when it comes to the weather. god, his scars are aching too. he curses again and takes a sip of his drink, hoping the heat will be able to soothe him in some way.
as he moves down the sidewalk away from the cafe, kameron takes a look through the windows of shops. here, in his small town, there’s not much, but it’s home and it’s comforting to see that despite everything changing for him, at least these stores remain the same. he can always be happy about that, feel safe in the knowledge that at least the whole world hasn’t cracked open–just his part of it. he takes another sip of his drink, slowly moving off the main street.
he doesn’t drive anymore, preferring to walk, and even if he didn’t, it’s been a little funky to be in a car again. ptsd, his therapist reminds him often, has a funny way of manifesting sometimes. it sure does, he thinks to himself, remembering how freaked out he’d gotten the other night at hearing his neighbor’s ten pound dog bark. now, even though it’s cold, he really does enjoy the walks, grateful for his town being so compact as to have everything within distance of his apartment.
he’s nearly at his building, feet moving quicker at the idea of being able to relax on his couch and lose himself in mind numbing television as he waits for texts that won’t come. just as he reaches the locked door to the lobby, a must for him now that he finds his trust in people doesn’t come easy, he stumbles over his feet. kameron barely has time to reach his hand out to catch himself, dropping what’s left of his drink, before he plummets face first into the door.
except the impact never comes. instead he’s tucked up against a warm body, face pressed into a firm chest as strong arms come up around him. whoever it is freezes just as kameron does, obviously surprised at a sudden armful of another person. kameron can feel his face flame before he pulls back and tries to steady himself.
“sorry,” he says, avoiding whoever’s eyes so he doesn’t have to see whatever look they’re giving him.
“well, it isn’t every day i have a handsome guy like you falling for me,” they say, deep voice rumbling through kameron even though they’re no longer tucked up against each other.
kameron laughs despite how awkward he feels, finally looking up, and immediately choking on his laughter. the guy who caught him, who just used a line on him, is beyond beautiful. he’s taller than kameron, dark curls swooped back, a smattering of freckles over his nose and cheeks, and his hazel eyes crinkling at the corners as he flashes a gorgeous, sweet smile.
“speechless already? guess i must be easy on the eyes,” he jokes, reaching his hand out to tap his fingers against kameron’s shoulder, still smiling.
kameron shakes himself out of his stupor at the touch, starting to smile back. he reaches back, offering his hand to shake. “thanks for the catch, man. didn’t think i’d be meeting an angel today,” he says, smiling wider when a pale rush of pink colors the man's cheeks.
“you’re one to talk,” he replies, taking kameron’s hand in his own, his grip big and warm and comforting. “i’m nova. think i’ve seen you around before, waiting for the elevator.”
“kameron,” he says and shakes nova’s hand, lingering for a moment more before sliding his hand out of nova’s and into his jacket pocket, “and you probably have, though i’m more prone to taking the stairs unless i’m getting groceries.”
the other man smiles again, nodding, “aren’t we all? in my opinion, even elevators in solid buildings have to fail sometimes.”
kameron laughs, delighted, and that has nova laughing too. briefly, kameron wonders just how this is only the first time they’ve met if they’ve crossed paths before, but he gently nudges that thought to the back of his head. nova must see something on his face because he suddenly looks sheepish, running his fingers through his curls, mussing them further.
“sorry, it must sound creepy that i’ve seen you before, but haven’t said hi. i was typically in a rush whenever i saw you, didn’t really have time to stop for a conversation, and i haven’t seen you anywhere else in the building.”
“oh! um, yeah, no, it’s fine. i just…i’ve had a year,” kameron tells him, gesturing at his face, his scars.
he can see nova’s eyes slide over them, taking it all in. he inwardly cringes. he doesn’t care, he doesn’t, but god, he hopes this doesn’t fuck up whatever spark they’ve struck up here. nova nods, like he understands.
“i can see that. hey, you must be hurting from the cold, right? i’ve got a few myself and they’re a bitch whenever the weather changes.”
kameron lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, “yeah, actually. i didn’t bring a mask or anything and my coffee didn’t help for shit.”
“well shit, slide by me so you can get on up to your place,” nova says, stepping to the side to let kameron by. even standing out of the doorway, he still takes up a good amount of space and kameron has to press against him to get inside.
“thanks, dude,” kameron says, lingering just inside. he doesn’t quite want to let this conversation go yet, but he doesn’t know what else to say.
nova nods and starts to step outside completely before he turns back, eyeing kameron. “i’ll see you around, man. i’m in number 202 so stop by if you want, i’m usually back around 4 and don’t do anything the rest of the day once i’m finished with work. we can exchange numbers or something when you do!”
“yeah, i’d like that,” kameron says, wincing at how eager he sounds, but the other man just smiles, his eyes crinkling again and his nose scrunching this time.
“alright. see ya, angel.”
nova finally leaves, the entrance door swinging closed and locking behind him. kameron can feel his cheeks flushing at the nickname, his heart beating a little fast. he shakes his head and moves for the stairs. it’s been a bit of an adventure today.