Chapter Text
I can’t bring myself to meet the faerie’s eyes.
Here I stand, in front of the very silver tree that my friend tended to tirelessly when I was out fulfilling my failed duty. The same tree that I had sought him out to create. The tree that’s silver was grown in the name of hope for a new world. A symbol of peace, the possible future of solidarity for all. It was more than that, it was a symbol for my companionship with the cookie beside me. A symbol for our shared hope for the world and care for each other. However, this tree has turned to symbolize nothing but our failure to usher in a new world. Our failure to fulfill our purposes.
“No- it's not our failure. It’s mine,” I told myself.
It was I who had failed our mission- it was-it was-me who failed my purpose, who failed him, who failed my knights, who failed my creators. I can feel the burden of my sins weighing down upon me. The jam of the innocent and the not alike coat me and my steps, staining the sacred silver ground. I feel the same sticky substance sprinkled with crumbs covering my once-blessed blade. I choke on the guilt. Unsaid apologies ring through my mind. Apologies to now-crumbled companions.
Even with the guilt for my crumbled companion’s undeserving deaths consuming me, I can’t bring myself to look into the eyes of my one true companion who has not yet been struck down or corrupted. The ‘yet’ feels like a stab to my awful heart. I am a beast. Undeserving of the pity that I would be faced with if I met his eyes. What can he not understand? Why does he wish to spare me-to not perform the ritual? I know better than any other that Elder Faerie also has a duty to Earthbread to fulfill. So why won’t he act on it?
The painful thoughts came to an abrupt halt when a warm hand brushed against my foresaken arm.
“Salt…”Elder Faerie started.
I breathed. I didn’t realize I wasn’t doing so before. I just… I want this to be over. I can't be tempted to stay. I can't, I must face my consequences for my crimes…. I can’t be tempted, I can’t, I can’t, I-
“Salt!” Elder Faerie firmly, snapping me out of my spiral.
”Look at me…… Please.” he gently pleaded, desperation underlying in his voice.
Guilt strikes me, adding even more to the weight on my shoulders. I understand how painful this will be for Elder Faerie…and I’m sure he does too, so why won’t he just get this over with? I already requested to be sealed. He still has a kingdom to rule, responsibilities to fulfill. Why make this harder on himself just to have one last moment? One last moment that I don’t deserve.
I know why. Because he still has a heart. He still feels pity. He is still uncorrupted. He fails to see that I am no longer his friend… but a monster. He fails to realize that I deserve nothing but punishment. I suppose even the wise faerie king can be blind to the truth. I sigh to myself. Maybe if I stare into his eyes one last time… maybe he’ll understand how horrible I am. Yes… that is the only reason I want to look at him…one last time...yes…
I look up.
I am met with the same icy blue eyes I had seen on better days, yet now plagued with grief. Memories flood my mind, yet they are no longer of grief and guilt. They are instead of the warm visits to the faerie kingdom. Nox grazing peacefully in the sugar grass as the young faeries work up the confidence to go give her an apple. The whiff of herbal teas with a hint of salt in a tucked away pavilion. The radiant faerie king sitting across from me as the wind blows softly. I am overcome with peace, even if just for a second. I will….grieve this when my bones are entrapped beneath the silver roots.
The peace will not last forever, it never does, the sins of the past and sins that are yet to be committed always tear it away. However for once, as I allow myself to gaze upon my greatest ally for the last time, the silence feels comforting, blissful. As I look deeper into the eyes of the king and he gazes back,longing for better days, I become certain of an unfortunate fact: He will never see me as a monster. I sigh, I was hoping this would help him realize that I am a lost cause, that it is best to leave me to suffer beneath the cold unforgiving forks. While he will seal me by my request it became cemented in my mind that he never wanted to. He is only making this harder for himself, I repeat in my mind. Emotions… anger or grief….wrath or silence…Can blind us to what we should do.
The faerie king stares upon me with a look of not pity…but understanding. He told me that the silver tree had shown him what happened but that only confuses me further with how he believes I am still good. Still worth saving. I can’t let myself get blinded.
He has had the ritual prepared. The spell to bind fallen desserts…is about to come to fruition. I won’t wallow on this any longer… I won’t delay my fate. I give him a wordless motion and he understands. No more grief. No more wordless yearning or final meetings. It's time.
.
.
.
“Let us begin,” Elder Faerie whispers, gripping his sword in preparation.
“Let us begin,” I repeat.
“O silver seal tree! I offer my dough to be bound beneath your roots!” I say, bracing myself for the rest of the spell.
“O silver seal tree! Conceal the corrupted beneath your bark!” Elder Faerie recites, repeating the spell he learned so long ago,”O silver seal tree! Cleanse their evil and bear the fruits of new virtues!”
“O silver seal tree! Pierce their tainted dough with divine forks!” I shout to the tree, my loathing for my fellow fallen virtues seething through my words.
I brace for the breaking of dough, for the feeling of cold, Godly silver delivering justice as I am dragged down into the roots. For my karma to reach me. It’s so bright-! Perhaps the last light I ever see. I look up at the moon in the sky one last time and-
.
.
.
What the hell is that in the sky.