Chapter Text
It was strange, Bea thought, how things could change so quickly.
For three years, from the moment she saw him, she was hopelessly in love with Jonathan Sato. The way he comforted her when she was upset, and how he was always so kind to everyone. But slowly, she began losing those feelings for him.
Maybe it was the way he never noticed her, no matter how much time passed. Maybe it was the sleepless nights, wondering what was so wrong with her that he would go for literally anyone but Bea. Maybe it was the way she slowly realized most of their topics and activities revolved around what he liked and not what she likes. Maybe it was the fact that he had over 20 exes and it was getting harder and harder to believe he was completely blameless every single time. Maybe it was the way Gwen told her she's way too good for whoever she was pining for.
It was hard to pinpoint one of those events. Regardless, it was clear in hindsight, she didn't like Jonathan anymore. For some time, it was the idea of him she liked. When it turned out he was dating Rohan, she didn't find it in herself to care anymore.
It felt strange, but also… kind of nice.
"Hey, Bea," said Gwen, snapping her out of her thoughts. Her roommate just came home from her chess club meeting.
"Oh, hey Gwen! How was chess club today?"
"Fiona and Patrick joined us today," she replied. Bea was good friends with Fiona. She was always really sweet and supportive, and Bea found herself enjoying her company quickly. She didn't know Patrick all that well, but he seemed alright. "Also, I beat Simon at chess today" she added, with a small grin. Bea knew about their rivalry. She used to be friends with Simon, but it kind of fizzled out in college.
"Congrats! And it's great more people are joining. I bet it's fun having Fiona and Patrick there."
"Thanks, it is. Anyway, do you wanna play some video games together? My friends are busy, and I've been meaning to ask you anyway," Gwen said casually.
Huh, Bea did have some free time. It sounded fun. She didn't play video games often, but she did have a few favorites. She just hoped Gwen wouldn't think they're dumb. She felt kind of nervous for some reason.
"Um, sure. I could show you the ones I have," she opened her laptop and showed her games to Gwen.
"Alright, how about that one? I have it on my PC and it has multiplayer," Gwen pointed at the game that just so happened to be Bea's favorite. It was a farming sim.
They spent the next few hours playing that video game together. It was really fun. Gwen was noticeably nicer to Bea than she has been to her friends when playing games. Probably because those games were more intense, like shooters or games like that. Still.
Bea looked up from her screen at Gwen. She looked… kind of pretty actually. With the focused expression she only really had when gaming, with the way she wore her beautiful long lavender hair down today, and the way she had this smug yet adorable grin when she defeated another enemy, well, she looked especially cute then. More than she usually did.
Oh.
Oh no.
"Something wrong?" Gwen asked, noticing Bea looking at her with an odd expression on her face.
"…yeah, I'm good. Let's keep playing," Bea said, praying Gwen didn't notice the blush on her face. It was kind of dark in their dorm by then, since it was December, it got dark pretty early.
She seemingly didn't notice or at least didn't care enough to point it out, and they just went back to playing.
~~~~
This wasn't the first time Bea liked a girl. There were a few she liked before, in middle school or high school. Noone she stayed in contact with in college now. So that part wasn't surprising for Bea.
She knew Gwen for a few months now. She's been a great roommate, that much was for sure. She seemed kind of mean at first, but Bea quickly found out she's a good person and really sweet in her own way. Like when she comforted her about Jonathan. She was a good listener and any kindness she showed was always genuine. And she was also fun to spend time with. Just now, for example, but also in general, it was always a good time when they did something together or just sat together doing their own thing. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made to fall for her. She was a good friend, and all the good qualities she had made sense to be attracted to.
It's just that, her situation felt even more hopeless than with Jonathan now. At least with him, she knew he liked girls, and he had dated many in the past. Gwen never spoke about who she liked. So Bea had no idea if Gwen even liked girls, or anyone for that matter.
So she decided not to do anything about these feelings for now. She'll act as she did before, and if there are any signs that Gwen could like her back, she will think about what to do then.
Maybe… it was even okay to have a little hope.