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Joel slowly sat down on the roof of the Bad Boys' mansion.
It was already quite late, Jimmy and Grian were already asleep, and he should have been too, but he simply couldn't sleep.
Memories made his sleep disappear.
In truth, the memories had never truly left him, but this time, they seemed to scream in his mind.
He felt a tear roll down his cheek and fall onto the knee where he was hugging himself.
He tried to wipe away the tears, but it was in vain, as more and more tears streamed down his face, until he simply gave up and let himself cry.
He was all alone on that roof.
Void, how he missed Etho
Of course he wouldn't admit that he missed him, but he did, very much.
Double Life wasn't just any game that connected you to someone for Joel.
He really liked Etho, enjoyed his company, the way Etho looked at him with such passion, the pancakes Etho made for him in the mornings when he could, when they had enough supplies for him to make them.
He loved Etho
But Etho began avoiding him from the game onwards.
He rarely spoke to him; when he did, he would walk away or start talking to someone else, ignoring Joel.
Joel felt terrible about it.
He felt he had done something wrong to Etho, but he never managed to ask, since Etho didn't want to talk to him.
Joel also thought that for Etho, Double Life had been just another game, another one he had played, tried to win, lost, and that was it.
This hurt Joel so much.
He wanted Etho back, he wanted to talk to him again, hug him again, and the pancakes too.
More tears streamed down his face; Joel had simply given up trying to stop them, he had completely broken down.
"Why are you crying?"
Joel froze; he knew that voice. How could he not recognize the voice that haunted his dreams?
Joel slowly stood up and turned around.
There he was, standing still, at least 10 feet away, his face looking surprised, but also worried.
"What were you... what were you doing here?"
Joe wasn't even trying to hide his tears; Etho had already heard him crying. Besides, he was so angry at Etho for leaving him that he forgot about the dried tears on his cheeks.
"Answer my question first"
"And why should I?! You're the last person who has the right to ask me why I'm crying!"
Joel was practically yelling at Etho.
"You have no right to ask me why I'm crying when YOU are the reason I'm crying!"
"What?... I don't understand, how can I be the reason you're sad?!"
Now they were both shouting.
Joel should have been worried about whether Grian or Jimmy would wake up, but he wasn't even thinking about them right now.
"How can you not understand?! You simply disappeared! You avoided me! You ignored me! You didn't even look at me!"
Joel paused between screams to catch his breath.
"If I did something wrong, just tell me, damn it!"
Etho stared at him in disbelief; he hadn't thought they would go this far.
"You didn't do anything wrong! I avoided you because I thought you didn't care! I avoided you so I wouldn't hurt you!"
Etho started walking towards Joel now, stopping in front of him and looking down (due to the height difference).
"Yes, but it hurt! Do you have any idea how much I cried every night before bed, thinking I had done something wrong? All because I missed you!"
Etho's anger quickly subsided; he didn't realize he was hurting Joel. He avoided him so as not to hurt him, thinking that if he avoided him, Joel wouldn't notice when he left. But he didn't know he had already been hurting him for so long.
"I had no idea you were like this"
Etho looked at Joel with guilt now.
"You idiot, I missed you!"
Joel tilted his head, resting it on Etho's shoulder, and began to cry again.
Etho wrapped his arms around Joel, hugging him and burying his face in Joel's hair, as he missed the smell of Joel's shampoo.
"I'm so sorry, I apologize, I didn't know, sorry"
Etho pleaded in Joel's hair.
They stayed like that for a while, not long, but at least until Joel stopped crying.
"Please promise me you won't do that again."
"I won't go, I swear, I promise, never again."
Etho lifted Joel's face from his shoulder to look at him.
Joel's face, his eyes still red and wet.
Etho thought he was handsome, even though Joel was shocked, Etho still thought he was handsome, he would always find Joel handsome.
Joel raised his hands and removed Etho's mask, finally able to look at him fully.
Etho was the one who closed the distance between them, kissing Joel's lips, a kiss that was quickly reciprocated.
Etho stopped the kiss too quickly for Joel's liking.
They looked at each other again in silence.
"You're going to make pancakes for me when we leave here, that's an order."
Etho laughed, "that will make you forgive me?"
"perhaps"
Actually, Joel had already forgiven him, but he still wanted pancakes.
Etho smiled and nodded.
"Then I will do it."