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"Damn it Izzy." If you would have asked Alec last week, what his plan was this Friday night? He would have answered anything. Anything but line up for an after party- party of one of a band that was playing in town. Anything but be in the same room as the Shadowhunters
"We have to do something! We're gonna miss it." Izzy, his sister was craning her neck- the were in queue with probably three dozens teens alike. A queue were twenty six year old author like Alec had no business being in, except the fact that his mother had asked him to play chaperone to his - just turned 18 sister.
He sighed and looked at his watch, there was no way they were getting in at this rate. And he felt relief. His mother and father had never been enablers, but Izzy has a way of getting things. He couldn't help but feel guilty that his sister wouldn't be able to get inside but there was no way he was gonna do something about it. He loves his sister but getting in that hall was not as important to her as Alec not wanting to get in.
Simultaneously some phone started beeping and he watch as Izzy pulled out her phone with a gasp. He looked over but Izzy was moving and he couldn't get a better view. "They're gonna be delayed- Simon- the drummer hurt his hand. My poor baby."
"Oh god! Stop!" Alec rolled his eyes. "You do know he's a lot older than you are right? Can we please go home now." There was no point in waiting if the drummer was not gonna be able to play.
"No." Izzy's voice was firm as she crossed her arms. "You need to loosen up brother, I know this isn't your kind of thing but you don't know how much this means to me."
"You're over dramatic."
"I hope Simon is okay. If not- there's not gonna be any show tonight. Jonathan be pissed and he's not gonna sing." A blonde next to him whispers.
"He's so diva- who cares if one member is missing?" Alec wanted to snap at the girl, sure Jace was a diva but it's more to that. The front man is quite anal about things that he hears it when someone makes a small mistake and it bothers him, a lot. He kept his mouth shut.
"So are you. I mean- I heard that shadowhunters started out as college band. They were your seniors in Rune University. Jonathan Herondale is only two years older than you are right? Did you ever get to meet him?" Oh boy. Loaded question. Alec had readied himself on facts about the band; Izzy tends to blurt things out about them like it's important. Alec ignored her. "What am I saying? It's not like you have the time to go out and party- knowing you? You spent most of your times in the library.."
Well she got that right. He tucked his hand on his pockets as one of the doors behind them opened. There were shrieks and screams and he rolled his eyes. "Oh my god- it's the shadowhunters!" It's not like everyone won't know who the guys are.
Alec's jaws harden as he keep his eyes on the door in front of them and ignored the commotion in the back. He gave Izzy some space to look. Heavy Footsteps come closer as body guards came into his peripheral.
He didn't actually looked at them up until all of the members with the manager, Lydia Branwell passed right next to him. "Where's Jonathan?" He some of the girls whispering.
"He's probably inside already." Izzy shrugged. He watch as the members got in the elevator carefully not meeting their eyes but as it closed he mistakenly looked at Lydia who's eyes widen at recognition.
"Shit." He mumbled and almost bolted right there and then if it weren't for the rope that keeps the line in place and the crowed behind him.
Lydia's hand shoot out the door and he watched as the blonde confused the other members- Simon, the drummer, Raphael the basist, Clary the keyboardist and Derek on the guitars as she hopped of the elevators and talked a bit before they nodded at headed up.
Lydia talked to one of the bouncers and they walked towards were Alec was standing- great, they were gonna kick him out.
"Alec." Lydia stop right in front of them and Izzy was throwing confused and excited glanced at them.
"Lydia." He nodded as Lydia gestured for the guard to lift the rope.
"Alec?" Izzy called up to him. He hushed her as they both step out of the queue.
"You're playing." Lydia announced, there was no question tone to it but he shook his head.
"No."
"Three songs. 214, The Day you said goodnight and." Lydia paused but they both know what song was coming next. The first three song on the Shadowhunter's debut album- Fitting since this is a homecoming concert.
"You'll be safe here." He finished. "No Lydia. I am not."
"You owe me."
"Alec what's happening?" Izzy's hands were wrapped on his arms. And Lydia turned to his sister looking at the black Shirt with the band's name in it.
"Bring this young lady right here inside and get her the best seat in the house." He wanted to stop and grab Izzy but there was no way he was gonna be the cause of his sister's heartbreak. "He'll meet you inside. I promise."
"We can leave." Izzy turned to him and he shook his head.
"I'll text you. Go on- enjoy." He smiled before turning back to Lydia. As his sister disappeared in the elevator he focused on the interrupted conversation they were having. "You can't make me do this. I don't owe you anything!"
"6 years and 50 bucks says I can. Don't make me pull out the big guns Alec. This show is important to us, so please." Lydia walked towards the elevator and Alec, bless him, followed suit even though he didn't want to- his legs moved on his own. "Three songs and then you can disappear again, without so much as a goodbye."
They waited for the elevator and close it With just the two of them inside. Lydia's struck him and he wanted to snark back- he wouldn't have left if. He shook his head, no point in reminiscing the past. But she's right, he kind of owed her, if it weren't for him, shadowhunter's debut concert on wouldn't have been pushed back a year.
"I haven't played in years.." he hadn't even thought of picking a stick since - well since 2010. A matter he didn't want to face tonight or ever for that matter.
"It's like riding a bike."
"It's not- I'm gonna butcher the songs and he's gonna hate me."
"Its better than them not playing tonight. Simon is in no way, shape or from to pick up any drum stick. I wouldn't have asked you if I see any other choice. Last thing I need is you and jace in the same stage, must less in the same room. I don't believe in destiny but you being here? I'm taking advantage of it." Lydia said as they stepped out he elevator and entered the double doors.
"Holy shit." Simon fell out of the chair soon as Alec entered the room but Alec wasn't paying any attention to him. His eyes moved and gravitates toward a certain blonde who met his eyes with indifference.
He saw a flash of red towards him and he was suddenly arms full of Clary and Simon. Raphael and Derek giving him bro hug, as they call it. He licked his lips.
"No." Jace stood up, banging on the table; its contents spilling on the floor. "Simon can do it."
Everyone looked at Jace like he's stupid because looking at Simon with a cast on his hand was clue enough that there's no way he was gonna be able to play.
"Okay. I'm out." Alec turned toward the door but Lydia was now holding on to shirts collar. "What the hell."
For someone as mature as Alec, putting him in the same room as Jace was always a recipe for something. Be it good or bad. "You're staying."
"Let him leave. Obviously he doesn't want to be here."
"Right, cause you think me staying is a favor to me." Alec couldn't help but shout over, Clary and Simon pulling him in and Lydia closing the door; rolling her eyes.
"Does it even matter what I think? You leave whenever you want to, why can't I?"
"Scr-"
"Shut up! Three songs. Jace, get over it." Lydia shouted.
"I don't have any problems with him."
"Then shut up! I don't care how you guys do it, stop looking at each other or pretend the other doesn't exist. This is gonna be the last stop for this tour and we are going out with a bang!"
"If he screws up- I'm not gonna be able to sing -"
"Get over it. You're up in two minutes. Simon give Alec the sticks and position yourself. I don't want to hear any bullshit."
Lydia ushered them to the backstage. He sighed looking at clary who was smiling at him and gave him a thumbs up.
He closed his eyes and rolled the sticks on his hands. The first time he picked the sticks and played with this band was 8 years ago. He was a college freshman and Simon was his roommate.
Shadowhunters was nothing more but a college band, he was never interested in. Simon had invited him a couple of times but he refused. He then he met Jace in the library. The blonde was occupying his favorite spot but was not studying, or so he had thought at first. The blonde had his earphone's on and banging on the desk with sticks. Alec sat next to him and watched as the librarian scolded him for being noisy.
He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his own work but failed as the other started to bang louder. He sighed and tap on Jace's shoulder, the blonde taking his headphones off.
"Would you mind? Turn that noise down." He glared but the blonde grinned at him.
"Can't concentrate without it." The blonde shrugged and lifted the book up.
"Then go study somewhere else. This is a library for Christ sake."
"I don't have a library card."
He didn't know how it happened but at the end of the day his library card has stamp for history of Birds and his phonebook had one contact more that it had.
He didn't really see Jace for another week or so even though the blond would text him in the most odd hours with just word plays and rhyming words. Simon had finally convinced him to go to one of the shows turns out that Jace was the front man of simon's band.
Suddenly, the rhyme texting enigma was not a mystery anymore- he was just another college kid who flirts and drink too much. He listen in to pretty much everyone talk about the blonde's mission to practically sleep with everything that moved. Simon sometimes talked about their vocalist's escapades but he didn't really pay enough attention to know the name. He doesn't know why but it disappointed him, well he knew he was developing some kind of crush but that was that.
Simon introduced them, of course- Alec was gonna pretended they don't know each other but Jace started talking about everything. Simon looked at them as if he just realized something then the rest was history. Jace never left his side that night.
They started talking more and more and Jace had manage to convince Alec to go with Simon during band practice. Jace enjoyed torturing Simon and by torture he means making Simon practice over and over again. Jace was the one who trains Simon.
Jace lifestyle was never Alec's business- until it became his. Jace had manage again, it was becoming a pattern then, to convince Alec to take drum lesson, one he didn't need but soon enjoyed. Alec was a fast learner and Jace requires perfection. Soon after their life was pretty much revolving around each other, except when Jace was out partying and screwing. He chalked up everything to just college kids doing stupid things but Jace was his friend and it came to the point he could really watch him destroy his liver.
A fight blew up, and it ended with Jace kissing Alec and Alec kissing back. No more sleeping around, sure the drinking was still there as much as the parting and with the band going its well way- he couldn't really ask for.
He and Jace started writing songs- every song on the debut album was written by Jace and Alec under his pseudonym. "Zander".
A year into the relationship, Jace and the others Graduated, a recording company agreed produce them. They couldn't really been happier until Alec walked on Jace and a girl. He didn't really listen to anything anyone said and blocked them out of his life. He dedicated the next years finishing his degree and shut out everything. Broken heart is great for a writers's work. He managed to write not only one but five book on the course of 5 years.
He kept tabs of course, he kept tabs that he knew even with so much popularity the band pushed their tour a hear because of personal issues.
In retrospect, Alec knows that he's treated Jace unfairly and he was stupid enough to just let things as they are. They're different people now, there was no use dwelling on the past.
When he open his yes, the curtains were drawn back and Jace opening his mouth to speak.
"Good Evening Rune city!" The crowds went wild. "Tonight is a very special night because we just played on the coliseum and it was full pack, guess we aren't really losing any fans?"
The people laugh. "Well enough chatter, first song is called 214 and no I'm still not gonna say what the title means." The crowed booed and Jace lifted his hand up for que. clary pressed on the first notes and Alec waited for his turn. The bass was next then Alec. Jace turned towards him and his heart was beating out his chest. There was something about the grin that Jace gave him
that open the flood gates of memories he didn't like.
"Am I real? Do the words I speak before you make you feel,
That the love I lay for you will see no ending?
Well if you look into my eyes then you should know,
That there is nothing here to doubt, nothing to fear,
And you can lay your questions down cause if you'll hold me
We can fade into the night and you'll know"
Simon was the back up vocals, without him on stage- Jace wouldn't like the sound Alec didn't want to sing- but he knew Jace was waiting for him to.
The world could die, and everything may lie,
Still you shan't cry
Cause time may pass, but longer than it'll last
I'll be by your side
Clary was throwing them worried looks now but Alec opened his mouth and sang back up vocals. He could feel stare of the audience on him now and izzy's who was sitting and was starring at him with mouth open. He adjust his earpiece.
Take my hand, and gently close your eyes so you could understand
That there's no greater love tonight than what I've for you,
Well, if you feel the same way for me, then let go
We can journey to a garden no one knows.
Life is short my darling tell me that you love me
So we could fade into the night and you'll know
The world could die, and everything may lie,
Still you shan't cry
Cause time may pass, and everything won't last
But I'll be by your side,
Forever by your side,
Jace's guitar solo was up and Alec did his best to keep up. The crowed was singing, this was one moment he wasn't really gonna forget any time soon. Damn it.
The world could die, and everything may lie,
Still you shan't cry
Cause time may pass, and everything won't last
But I'll be by your side,
Forever by your side,
So you won't cry
When the song ended the crowed clapped and boomed Jace offered a bow. "Oh man- wasn't that great? Lydia, our manager had given me a list of people to mention. As if she's expecting me to memorize them-" Jace grinned and proceeded thanking everyone on that list- which Alec knows he memorized.
"Have I finished telling you guys why this night is special? Well no. Anyone of you here know who Zander is?" A few hands shoot up. "Course, he's only the guy who co- wrote the debut album. Who would forget him."
"Well he's here right now, yes. Personally I hate him."
The people laughed but others knew better, Jace might be charming but there was something about the way he said it that punched Alec in the gut. "But Lydia told me we owe him some kind of introduction."
"Ladies and gentleman, direct your attention to the second gorgeous guy in the stage. And no- I can't rank first and second - no matter how deserving I am."
"Alexander Lightwood. New York best selling author and Zander who's gonna be singing the next song- The day you said goodnight "
"No." Alec shook his head but Jace was not having any of it. "No ones gonna play the drums." He glared but excused lamely.
"I can play. Course you know that, I taught you." Jace lowers his mic and walked closer.
"Jace." He shook his head.
"Nope. We're not gonna argue on stage about something we both know I can talk you into." Ain't that the truth. Whenever Jace tone change into that one, he could talk Alec into almost every stupid thing the blond would think of.
"Ass." Alec muttered. Holding his stick up and the people cheered.
"So you say." Jace grinned, grabbing the sticks and offering him the guitar on one hand. Shooing him to the center.
"You're gonna pay for this." Alec replied in a sing song voice. He walked towards the center, spotting Izzy who gave him a thumbs up. He gave her a smile.
"Bring it on." Jace smirked as the crowd cheered. Derek started playing and everyone followed suit. It's a wonder how Alec managed to start it with a lump on his throat. Jace was purposely being an ass, they both know how much the song meant to him.
Take me as you are
Push me off the road
The sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun
I'm burning in the rain
The silence
I'm screaming,
Calling out your name
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and fly
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
It was the last song they wrote and it wasn't really finished until the the last night they were together. Alec wrote the chorus while Jace wrong everything else. When they sang the demo, Alec was the one singing the first part. He opened his mouth to sing he next part but Jace best him to it. Fucker.
The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmthess your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me why
I never would have known
Oblivion is falling down
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
Alec braced himself for the bridge. His voice was wobbly with emotions by now and he could almost here Jace's voice inside his head telling him he could do it.
If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be alright.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
He's already taken,
He's already taken
He's already taken me
He's already taken,
He's already taken me
The day you said goodnight
By the end of it there were tears on his eyes and he refused to cry so he smiled as Lydia said something about taking a break and closed the curtains. He stalked towards Jace who was standing up. "You're an asshole."
"Guess that makes the two of us."
"You think I want to be here? Fuck you-" Alec was being pulled away on the arms and Derek was taking Jace to the other side.
"Lydia. I'm going-" but clary cut him off pulling him to one side.
"You think he's being ass?"
"Isn't he?" Alec challenged, they're Jace friends not his but it didn't stop Alec from feeling betrayed.
"You think it's easy for him to sing the songs for you while he knows the last thing you want is to hear it?"
"You think he's being considerate? Right cause that's Jace Heronadale- selfless."
"It's been six years Alec."
"Exactly why is he acting that I dumped him just for fun? When we all know that's not what happened?"
He could see something cross clary's eyes but before the red head could say something Lydia cuts them off. "Not the time and place. One more song and you can go."
"Can we change the song?" Everyone's head whipped to turn to Jace. Judging by the looks of it, changing songs was still not a usual for them. Jace hates changes on the sets.
"No." Lydia said firmly and Derek started to say something about letting Jace decided. "I can't." Jace nodded and walk toward the dressing room leaving everyone.
"He can't sing that song with him here." Raphael for the first time after hugging him earlier acknowledged Alec. "We can't torture him."
"It's been years since he last sing all those songs in one sets you're being hard on him." Clary nodded.
"I am not. He chose that songs."
"Well he didn't know Alec would should up and mess up with his focus. No offense." Derek shrugged when Alec opened his mouth to protest.
Lydia sighed. "Fine. We'll change the song, ask him what he wants to play or wait for him to announce it when your up there. Meanwhile- Alec go and check on your sister, she's waiting for you outside."
Alec ignored the worried look and went to the doors where Izzy was waiting with a grin. "Holy crap. You know how I think you're the greatest writer and you say I'm biased?"
His sister was running to him. "I didn't know you wrote the songs and damn Alec. They're the best songs ever and holy crap what the hell have you been doing your college life and you sing?"
Alec chuckled and hugged her back, enjoying the comfort she was providing.
"Hey." She nudge him. "We can go home. You know?"
"Nah."
"Jace is Jonathan right? The ex boyfriend sometimes mom would slip off? The douche who cheated on you? You could have told me and I wouldn't have dragged you with me." Izzy pulled away to look at him.
"It was a very long time ago. We're both over it." He shook his head.
"Lies we tell ourselves. Let's go home or drink. I can drink now, did you know?"
"Yeah but I'm fine, really Izzy. One last song and I'll introduce you to them. You'll like that right?"
"No."
"Come on. We were kids back then and things like this happens all the time. "
Izzy shook her head and press a kiss on his cheeks. "If you say so. I'll be waiting for you out there. Say the word and we'll leave."
"The break up was more of my fault than his."
"It's not your fault that he cheated on you."
"There's a big chance he didn't really, well more like there's no chance he would have cheated on me."
"Then why did you?"
"We were kids."
"So you thought you'd save yourself a bigger heartbreak By ending things earlier?"
"He was just starting his career and I was on my second year, it was inevitable." It was stupid. Alec knows. Guess he wasn't as clever compared to the other kids back then.
"I could hit you."
"Alec." They turned to see Simon's head picking from the doors and he could feel his sister's excitement and he rolled his eyes. "Lydia says you guys are up in ten. Hi! "
"Hi!" Izzy waves back and Alec nodded.
"I'm just gonna walk-" Alec started but Izzy kicked him on the shin. "Uh can you walk Izzy back the hall?"
"Yeah sure. No problem." Simon was out the door and walking towards them already introducing himself to izzy. He watch his sister shook hands with him and smile before shaking his head fondly and walking back the band room.
"Heads up." He hears Jace voice and he turns just in time to catch the bottle of water tossed in his direction. Stared at it before opening it And taking a drink. Jace was over next to Clary, hands on the keyboard.
"That's got to be a record." Raphael commented and Alec moved to stand next to him, leaning on the wall. Placing himself as far as he could from Jace.
"What?"
"He's writings song. New ones."
"He is?" Alec asked. It wasnt common knowledge but every song that Jace wrote on the new albums were just a bunch of old songs the blonde wrote years ago. And since Simon and Derek are great writers too, it didn't really matter so long as the band has new material.
"You're here." Raphael shrugged vaguely.
"What does that even mean?" He crossed his arms and watch as Derek tried to participate with the melody.
"I haven't heard in laugh for real in years but I also haven't had to watch him destroy his life which is probably what's gonna happened after you walked away again.." Before he could respond Raphael had walked away.
He crushed the water bottle and walked out the room, needing a little air. He he slide down the wall starring at the carpeted floor. The door opened and Jace walked out, all thighs pants and leather jacket and made his way to Alec.
"Raphael got to you again huh?" Jace looked down at him. And that sentence has got to be the most friendly he had received from the blonde all night. "He's just warming up again."
He lets out an annoyed chuckle and shook his head. He and Raphael rubbed off each other the wrong way when they first met but it gradually better.
"You're an asshole."
"Uh huh. You've got five minutes before Lydia comes looking for us."
"6 years and you still haven't change, still the same jerk who doesn't know how to listen to anyone."
"Oh listen? Like the way you listened to me, oh wait you didn't."
"Were you saying something back then? Cause I don't know the moans seems to have drowned the whole thing."
"You must be imagining things, then."
"Fuck you!"
"You volunteering?"
"I hate you. Walking away was the best decision I made. I should have known from the start that you weren't gonna change, that your aren't capable of taking anything seriously-"
"That's bullshit. Even if you hadn't walk in what you thought walk in on? You were gonna look for some bullshit reason to break up with me."
"What I thought, I walk in one? She was on top of you naked and -"
"Helen was drunk as hell."
"Sweet of you to remember her name. Must have been a good fu-" Alec mocked but was cut off.
"We didn't! Nothing happened." Jace ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Obviously since I walked in-"
"Nothing was gonna happened. Alec for Christ sake, if I were planning on cheating on you, which I was not- don't you think I would have just picked a day when you were not scheduled to come over?" He knows what Jace was saying was right, even if the blonde hadn't made an argument, but he refused to think on things, on it any more.
"You were jackass- how would I know what you're thinking?." He stood up and stalked towards the door. "And why are we even rehashing this?"
"You started it." Jace was walking after him now.
"I didn't! You made me sing." He didn't bother looking back.
"Can we just focus on one conversation. Are you mad at me for what happened 6 years ago or because I made you sing?" Jace walked faster and cuts in front of Alec, effectively stopping them both.
"Why'd you make sing?" The frustrated look on Jace face said that Alec had pick the wrong Topic but he was gonna humor him. It was easier for him to ignore the explanations the blond was going to give, ignore the fact that he maybe did the wrong thing by walking away. But past is past.
"We've always sang it as a duet. Why change that now?" Jace moved forward and there's now only a small space between them. "I wasn't sure I was gonna be able to sing the whole song without losing it."
"Oh" oh oh. Jace had said in nonchalant but Alec still felt the gravity of the last sentence. Jace raised a brow and he his mouth, though unsure of what he's going to say.
Lydia opened the door and Alec moved away from each other. The blonde gave them as suspicious look, Jace lets got of Alec's arms. Confusing Alec as to when did Jace started to hold on to him.
"Last song." Lydia said and Jace walked passed the two of them and going straight back stage. Lydia turned to him. "Ready?"
Alec nodded and followed the others back stage glancing at Jace's back who's got his jacket off now.
"You guys having a good night?" Jace shouted over the mic. Alec's eyes search for Izzy who was sitting next to Simon, talking. "Alright, alright.. now this is gonna be our last set for tonight. Yes I know I knows."
Jace smiled at the disappointed sounds the audience made. "I'm taking this time to thank everyone of you guy and the fans outside who couldn't make it in and still are waiting for their turn. Thank you. We love you guys and we'll see you soon, yeah?"
"I haven't sung this song live in years because well, this is my favorite song and it felt odd singing. I'll tell you all the details but I don't wan to bore you with it. I haven't had the chance to sing this song in five years, on the last stop of our debut tour. I know sad story, and I decided to sing this song tonight because it seems fitting. Hope you guys enjoy it."
And that's the que they were waiting for as the lights turned off and a spotlight directed on Jace as the intro to 'You'll be safe here' started.
Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Jace lifted his mic to the crowds encouraging them to sing if they know the song. Izzy and Simon were belting out by the looks of it as they hit the chorus.
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Jace walked around the stage with his mic, Lydia was smiling beside the curtains. There was just something magical about Jace, even more when he's on stage singing. People loved him and it wasn't just because he was gorgeous, no- people love him because he seems to enjoy every moment and for a moment, he's gonna make you feel like things aren't as bad as it seems. You'll be safe, that's how he commands attention.
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
Alec would have had a difficult time keeping up with the song if his muscles hadn't been going by memories, he wasn't even thinking about it, his hands just moved. He knows that this night just reminded him of things he wants to forget but he was savoring it.
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
This was the first song he wrote with Jace. He was busy doing his paper and Jace was fiddling with his guitar,
Doing succession of chords. He started humming unknowingly and Jace recorded with his phone. Lyrics didn't really come until a few weeks later Jace played the thing, he was sitting on the bed and Jace's back was pressed to his front, before they knew it. "You'll be safe here" was a song.
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
There was a dramatic pause as everyone grew silent
For the last verse. Jace tucked the mic back in and drew his breath.
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here
There was a standing ovation offered as the lights went back on, each member of the band stood up and offered a small bow, Alec including as the curtains fall.
Alec was trying to catch his breath as clary hugged him, along with Derek and Raphael. Lydia made her way to thank him but his eyes were on Jace who was looking back at him.
It doesn't really matter who moved first, because he's pretty sure that gravity forced them toward each other. He opened his arms to hug Jace and Jace did the same. They were both sweating and there was nothing romantic on it but his pulse was raising.
"Thank you." Jace whispered and Alec had his eyes close gripping tighter.
"I should go." He pulled away not a moment after but Jace gripped his wrist. "Let go."
"Sorry. Unlike Lydia, I believe in faith and destiny." Alec raised a brow. "Okay, no I don't but you're here." Jace was pulling him in the dressing room, everyone's eyes on them.
"Wha-"
"Shh!" Jace hushed him, and pulled his phone up, tossing it on the sofa. "Give me your phone. Six years Alec, I'm pretty sure you should be over whatever freak out you were experiencing back then."
"My sister, she's gonna be pissed." Alec pulled his phone up and gave it to Jace who grinned. "And what do you mean freak out?"
"Simon will take her back. I'm sure." Jace closed the door behind them. "Talk."
"Talk? You brought me here, you should be the one talking." Alec crossed his arms. Because stalling is the best way to avoid any conversation.
"I don't really have any issue to talk about." Jace grabbed by the arms and pulled him to one of the couch
"You have every issue." Alec cocked his head.
"Well when it comes to you and me, I don't."
"You're an ass."
"So you keep saying."
"You cheated on me." He grumbled.
"We moved past that topic earlier." Jace occupied the other side of the couch feet pulled up. They were both casual about this and it unnerved Alec more than anything could.
"We haven't." Anyone who viewed Alec as mature should definitely see him now.
"I told you. I didn't. Helen was drunk and she pushed me on the bed the exact time you opened the door."
"And I'm supposed to just believe you?" He retorts, Albeit lamely.
"You do believe me. If you don't, you would have walked away when Lydia asked you. Come one Alec, we both know I'm not the type." And they both know that he does. Jace sleep around before they got together but it was clear the blonde was not in any relationship while doing so. Loyalty is something you can trust Jace with and it was something Alec didn't think he deserves.
"It was too easy." Moment of truth. He's practice this speech more than enough times on the characters of his novels.
"What?" Jace looked at him confusedly.
"You and me, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. You were on your way to becoming a rockstar and I was a second year college who hasn't even decided on what I wanted, life was difficult but we were easy." He shrugged but kept his eyes away from Jace, shame was the last thing he was feeling but guilt was on the top.
"So, you're saying we have no problems and you wanted to make one?"
"No! I never intended to . I was just- I started questioning why it wasn't hard."
"Oh but wasn't it hard?" He could feel Jace grinned and Alec took one of the pillow to throw at the blonde.
"Right. Serious conversation and you contribute dick jokes."
"6 years is punishment enough don't you think?"
"I didn't do it to punish anyone."
"If I kiss you right now, would you freak out? Just checking because you freak out lasts years and I'd rather be laid in the next hour or so. Abstinence is not my thing."
"It wasn't a freak out and Please, like I didn't hear the model from last month."
"Did you just admit to stalking me?"
"I wasn't stalking you, I opened the tv and you where there."
"Right. So were done discussing your freak out."
"Isn't this-"
"Please don't tell me you're thinking this is easy again. Because six damn years is not easy. I swear to god, if you freak out again- I'm gonna camp outside your door just to piss you off."
"Sorry." Jace tugged on Alec, making him practically sitting on the blonde. "I'm sorry for being so stupid. For walking away, for every thing I put you through. Sorry."
"I'm sorry I didn't chase after you."
"I wasn't expecting you too." Alec shrugged settling in on Jace's lap.
"I know, but I wanted to give you the time to be who you want to be and I had make my dreams come through. Figured if you were ever gonna want me again, you should be the one to come back." Jace's hand move to his neck and nape, gripping it slightly. He looked down at Jace and his eyes, for the first time in years. And he's knees would have given in if he weren't straddling Jace.
"You did chase me."
"Not hard enough."
"You blew my cell up with messages and showed up a couple of times even though all I did was hide."
"Oh yeah. I also sent you graduation gifts."
"I knew it!."
"But you weren't sure. Well I knew the snow globes were from you and the fact that the heroes in your novels seems to have resemblance to me."
"Snow globes weren't from me." He ignored the heroes part because there was no denying that one.
"Right."
"You have a lot fans who would."
"Not as many as you'd think off." Jace shrugged. "Do you think we would ever get to the making out part of this conversation. Because hey, six years and counting."
"Don't be over dramatic." He leaned in to press a kiss on Jace's forehead.
"Don't draw this out." Jace's hands moved to grab on his back side, squeezing.
"I'm not. I just."
"Are you waiting for me to not want to kiss you? Because that's just stupid."
"Why would I?" Maybe he was, waiting for all this to be a dream or some cruel joke. But Jace isn't that,it's just in front of him is something he'd never actually thought he'd get a chance of again. "Okay. Fine. Sorry."
"Alec, stop moving."
"I feel like there's a innuendo there somewhere."
Jace laughed, and Alec pat himself on the back for a job well done before leaning in and closing the distAnce of their faces. His legs were straddling Jace's waist, hands braces on the sofa and Jace's hand were on his waist.
He leaned closer and waited for Jace to close the distance, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Jace's hand moved to Alec's jaw, thumb wrestling on the hollow behind the ear.
Both of them laughing as Lydia knock on the door demanding them to come out because it's time go.
The spent the next few days in bed, weeks going round and bout, spending everyday around each other. Talking and just there. He moved in the blonde's apartment officially, because everyone knew he wasn't really spending anymore time in his own.
But it didn't really sink in to Alec up until he woke up one night, and he was draped all over Jace. Earlier that night the whole band was there and before they gone home, they thanked Alec, like they owe it to him but made him realized how he fucked Jace up.
He grabbed his phone and started to read up on the blonde's life for the past year, and it broke his heart even more. Even Alec could see how Jace is happier now, and Alec is a selfish piece of jerk who made him miserable for years because he couldn't be mature enough to face things.
"Hey. You okay? You're squeezing me too tight, you having a bad dream?." Jace groaned out and Alec shook his head buried on Jace's neck. His chest was heavy and he's crying. "Why are you crying? Do I need to be worried?"
He shook his head again. "No. we're good, I'm just-" what else could he say? That he's having a break down because he realize how much of a jerk he's been? "Happy."
"Tears of Joy? That's where you're going with?"
He nodded and Jace pressed a kiss on his forehead and started humming. "In my arms, Through the long cold night, Sleep tight, You'll be safe here."
That's when Alec really started crying and sobbing and mumbling sorry. Jace just hugged him harder. "Can I talk you into really emotional sex?"
"You're terrible." Alec laughed wiping his tears off. "You're terrible and I still love you."
"I love you too, now how about that emotional sex?"