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‘This… is a DISASTER,’ Oswald Cobblepot thought with a grimace.
A terrible sight stood before him, even though it was in the famous and highly regarded Iceberg Lounge. Flames were eating away all of his expensive furniture, DVDs were scattered in every nook and cranny, drinks were toppled over and spilled, and his fellow rogues were running around all over the place, none of them having a clear idea of what was going on.
The Penguin looked over at Edward Nygma, his partner, or more commonly known as the Riddler. Edward just gave him this terrified look of embarrassment; his eyes were wide and his eyebrows were scrunched. It was the look that said “I TOLD you this would happen.”
Oswald sighed. ‘It was SUPPOSED to be fun…’
Hours before this ginormous mess took place, everything was perfect. Oswald had just closed the Iceberg Lounge to the public and was preparing for the Annual Batman Rogue Party.
Every year, the Batman rogues who were not currently in Arkham Asylum were invited to a party at the Iceberg Lounge (excluding the Joker because no one wanted to invite him). Everyone was assigned tasks to set up the party, such as making drinks and snacks, and then they chatted and partied for the rest of the night. However, before everyone went back to their warehouses, they all watched a movie together.
After Oswald had just finished closing the lounge, he went up to Edward and asked, “Are you ready for another party?”
“With the freaks?” Edward teased, smiling smugly. “Absolutely. Something interesting ALWAYS happens at them!”
“Great!” Oswald said, grinning down at his newly-adjusted tie. “They should be arriving any minute now…”
As if on cue, the door burst open, in coming an excited Harley Quinn and a less excited Poison Ivy.
“Heya, Pengy! Riddle Man!” Harley exclaimed. “I'm so PUMPED for the party!"
“Good evening, Harley!” Oswald said. “I'm glad you're excited for the party!"
As Ivy grumbled, Harley teased, “Oh, Red, always the downer. Took me forever just to convince her to come!”
“Well, we’re glad you did,” Edward admitted. “You’re one of the only rogues with actual SENSE.”
Ivy just grumbled again and made her way to the main table.
One by one, the guests arrived, who were colorful characters ranging from the Scarecrow to Firefly to Killer Moth to the Condiment King. Some were more excited for the party than others, which could be easily told by their faces.
Once all of the guests were at the main table, Oswald stood up next to the head of the table, Edward right next to him.
“Welcome everyone to the third Annual Batman Rogue Party!” Oswald exclaimed. “On your nametents in front of you will be your role for the party. You have twenty minutes to complete your assigned task, and then we will begin the party.”
The majority of the rogues attending cheered, while some (especially Poison Ivy) simply grumbled.
“Your twenty minutes start…” Oswald clicked a button on the fancy timer set on the table. “Now!”
Everyone peeked at their assigned task and immediately scrambled off to their designated locations.
After the ruckus calmed down and all that was left was Oswald and Edward, the latter asked, “So, you DID make sure to not have Firefly make snacks, right?”
Oswald shook his head. “No. They were randomly selected by my secretary! I split them into pairs and asked her to assign each one a task.” Then, he added, “But, it’s not like someone would assign a criminal with ‘fire’ in their name the task including fire, right?”
“WE GOT THE SNACK TASK!” Firefly exclaimed as he flung his arms into the air.
“And, here I was, thinking they at least had common sense,” Drury Walker, or more notably known as Killer Moth, said with a smile. “Imagine assigning Garfield Lynns, THE Firefly, the task that can involve fire.”
“But, they did, didn’t they?!” Garfield asked with a mischievous grin.
Drury’s face scrunched up in annoyance. “As fun as it would be to set something on fire, I don’t think it would be a good idea to burn down the Iceberg Lounge. Ozzie would be FURIOUS!”
Garfield pouted. “Ugh, fiiiiine, I won’t light anything on fire…” He then proceeded to smirk again. “Buuut, nobody told us we can’t make popcorn!”
Drury smiled. “Race you to the kitchen?”
“YOU’RE ON!” Garfield exclaimed, already powering his jetpack.
Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, flipped over his nametent. “We’re in charge of beverages?” he asked his partner, the Scarecrow.
“I suppose so,” Jonathan replied, observing his own nametent. “What should we make?”
“Tea!” Jervis immediately exclaimed, to which Jonathan rolled his eyes.
“Don’t you ever get tired of tea? You drink it every day!”
“Oh, you silly Scarecrow,” Jervis said. “I’ll never get tired of tea!”
“What if we make coffee instead?” Jonathan suggested. “I’m better at making it.”
“Oh, but, Jonathan? Don’t you ever get tired of coffee?” Jervis teased, mirroring Jonathan’s words. “You drink it every day!”
Jonathan smiled and decided to play along. He rarely smiled, but Jervis seemed to always be able to make it happen.
“You silly Hatter! I’ll never get tired of coffee!”
Jervis giggled. “It’s like the nursery rhyme! ‘She loved coffee and I loved tea, and that was the reason we couldn’t agree!’”
“But, I think we can agree on one thing.”
“What is it?”
“Coffee and tea coexist wonderfully together.”
Harley Quinn was delighted when she received the role of DJ. Poison Ivy, on the other hand, was not as excited.
“Oh, come ON, Red! All we gotta do is choose some pop songs for the playlist!” Harley pointed out, attempting to drag Ivy’s arm to the DJ booth.
“Pop songs are overplayed and you know it,” Ivy scoffed, pulling Harley’s hand away and crossing her arms. “They’re played EVERYWHERE: Shopping malls, supermarkets… YOU even make me listen to them at home and in the car! It’s like HELL!”
“Hell YEAH, you mean!” Harley exclaimed mid-cartwheel.
“And, now, you’re starting to sound like Kite Man.”
“Relax, Red! You don’t even gotta LISTEN to the songs! DJ headphones, remember?” Harley said, grinning.
Ivy froze in realization. “Oh… right.”
Harley giggled. “This party’s gonna be a BLAST!”
“Why did we get paired together?” Clayface, asked Two-Face, who was just as confused as he was.
“The coin was convinced I’d get paired with Harv,” Two-Face explained, “but I guess he doesn’t count.”
“Everyone do have really close friends except for us,” Clayface thought out loud. “AND, we both have the word ‘face’ in our villain names!”
Two-Face’s face dropped. “NO! That means our symmetry is ruined! There can’t be THREE faces!”
“Don’t worry, Two-Face! SCARface also exists!”
Two-Face let out a breath of relief. “You got me worried there. Even though two faces are obviously superior, I suppose four faces can work as well.”
Clayface picked up his nametent. “Anyway, what is our task?” He took a good look at the words written on his nametent and lit up. “WE GET TO CHOOSE THE MOVIE!” he shouted in excitement.
“Perfect!” Two-Face exclaimed, digging into his pocket for his trusty coin. “The coin will be very helpful with THIS one!”
“Wait! NO!” Clayface snatched the coin away from Two-Face, who attempted and failed to jump up and reach it. “We can’t leave it up to chance! We have to watch one of MY movies! I have some really good horrors in mind!”
Two-Face stomped on Clayface’s clay, which didn’t hurt him whatsoever. “ARGH! Why can’t giant shapeshifting beings made out of clay feel pain?!”
“Fine, I’ll give you back your coin,” Clayface said, handing the coin back to Two-Face. “BUT, you have to promise to choose one of my movies as tonight’s movie.”
Two-Face flipped the coin. It revealed tails. “Sorry, coin says ‘no.’”
“WHAT?!” Clayface yelled angrily. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘NO’?!”
Two-Face shrugged. “We don’t argue with the coin.”
“Uhhh…”
Mitchell Mayo, the Condiment King, looked all over the table but couldn’t seem to find his nametent.
“Do you know where my nametent is?” he asked Oswald.
“Uh, no,” Oswald replied, even though in reality, he had never made a nametent for Mitchell, who had shown up without an invitation.
“Oh, okay,” Mitchell said, looking down in sadness. “What should I do, then?”
Oswald shared a glance with Edward, who was previously glaring at Condiment King. “I suppose you could roam around and make sure everyone else is doing their jobs?” Oswald suggested.
“Okay!” Mitchell exclaimed, lighting up. “Sounds ketchup-tastic!”
Edward grimaced, but Mitchell, who was already making his way to the kitchen, didn't notice.
“Hey, Drury?” Garfield called, making his way toward his friend, who was setting up the popcorn bowls. “Imagine you’re making popcorn without burning anything for once, and then a random dude comes into the kitchen dressed in tights and underwear over the tights. The guy says ‘Hey! Can I put some mustard into the popcorn?’ and then he DOES it without you saying anything!”
Drury froze in confusion. “…What?!”
“Well, all of that literally just happened to me right now.”
“WHAT?!”
As if on cue, Mitchell Mayo walked into the room. “Hi, guys! Want some mustard?!” Without warning, he sprayed a whole bottle of mustard at the two of them.
“AHH!” Both rogues yelled as they got sprayed with the sticky sauce.
Drury immediately ran to the sink to wash off as much of the sauce as he could. Garfield, on the other hand, was used to responding to threats using his flamethrower.
So, on instinct, he sprayed the flames at Mitchell.
Thankfully for Mitchell, Garfield aimed too high, meaning only his pickle hat caught on fire.
However, that meant that the kitchen, which was behind Mitchell, completely got hit by the flames.
The fire alarm blared and screamed, causing mass panic within the lounge.
Two-Face and Clayface, who were arguing over the box of DVDs, flung the DVDs into the air on accident, causing them to scatter everywhere.
Harley and Ivy screamed and abandoned all of the DJ materials, scrambling to leave the lounge.
Jonathan immediately dropped his coffee on the floor and ran to get him and Jervis out of the lounge. In the chaos, Jervis accidentally spilled his tea all over himself.
And, above all, the Penguin was FURIOUS.
“EVERYBODY OUT!”
Oswald sighed as he looked at the culprits.
Everyone was now out of the Iceberg Lounge, and the majority of them had already left through the panic. The only people left were Oswald, Edward, Garfield, Drury, and Mitchell.
“You ruined it for everyone, you know,” Oswald said. “Because of you two, there won’t be any more rogue parties here.”
Garfield glared at Mitchell, who was smiling nervously.
“So, my prank wasn’t funny?” Mitchell asked with a high-pitched voice.
“NO, OBVIOUSLY NOT!” Edward shouted.
Oswald sighed again. “You’re going to have to pay for the damages. You’ll split the price, half-and-half. How are you supposed to get the money? I don’t know. But, you HAVE to get it to me.”
Garfield and Mitchell nodded in agreement.
“Alright, then,” Oswald said. “You’re free to go now.”
While Garfield and Drury were flying back to their hideouts, the latter teased, “I told you not to set anything on fire.”
“I couldn’t help it! You know that!” Garfield said.
“I bet you enjoyed it.”
Garfield snickered. “How did you know?!”
Drury smiled. “You always seemed to enjoy disasters like this one…”