Chapter Text
Neteyam wakes up with tired eyes and a racing heart. It's fine, he thinks. He can hear voices speaking in Na’vi outside of Tsahik’s tent. He can smell wood smoke and the herb Grandma uses to help with the pain. I’m fine.
He closes his eyes and focuses on everything. Just for a little bit longer, just enough to make sure he isn’t dreaming. He can have these seconds of weakness.
He stands up. His leg still hurts, but not as much as before. He can finally walk without the crutches Norm made for him; even if Tsahik was very clear about not forcing the leg, he has to move. He’s rested enough, being enough of a burden.
Tsahik’s tent was built away from the war council and the busiest part of camp. It was meant to create a peaceful atmosphere and let the wounded rest and recover, but it makes Neteyam feel deaf and blind. His family is keeping things from him; they mean well, but all it does is make him worry about the direness of the situation.
The Sky People have been relentless; they’ve been patrolling Ayram alusìng almost every day since Neteyam was captured, and they keep getting closer. Dad has tried to keep it from him, but he hears the hushed voices of the warriors, he sees the worry in their somber faces and their burdened shoulders. Mom left for a recon mission three days ago and hasn’t come back.
He woke late again. Most of the clan has finished First Meal, only the old and wounded are still eating, and the warriors and hunters are gone. He walks to the fire, trying to keep a limpless gait, and yet, Kiri walks towards him with a furrow in between her eyebrows.
«Big brother,» she says. «We made stew with rawp today, sit.» She guides him to a stool and grabs his arm to lead him to sit. «I’ll bring you a bowl.»
«No, there’s no need…»
«Sit. Wait here.» She turns and walks away to serve him stew, as they do for the elders and babies. When he finishes his meal, she takes the bowl to wash before he can even stand. Useless, he thinks, I’m useless.
Everyone in the clan knows he was wounded, everyone knows he’s been ordered to rest by Tsahik, but still, Neteyam feels ashamed to be seen lazing around. He slips away before Kiri comes back. He’s not allowed to hunt, and without Eway’e to lend him her wings… he feels the piercing pain of guilt he always feels when he thinks of her. I’m sorry, he prays, hoping Eywa will let her spirit know he grieves her.
He walks. He can gather fruit and other food. It’s tìhawnuwll season, he’ll probably be able to get some in the forests of the mountains, even if he can’t fly down anymore.
He's at the edge of camp when he hears Dad whispering. Neteyam crouches down, hidden behind the foliage. He can’t see him, and he hopes he can’t see him either.
«Quaritch, the leader, did he tell you anything?»
«I already told you! He wanted to know where High Camp was,» answers Spider. «He threatened Neteyam…»
Neteyam forces his breathing to remain even. Spider won’t tell Dad about what happened. He promised he wouldn’t.
«But not you.»
«Me? No, he… he didn’t. He told them not to hurt me.»
«Did he tell you why?»
Neteyam had assumed it was because Spider is human, but if Dad is asking… maybe there’s something else to it?
«No. Why would he? Jake? What’s wrong?»
«I need you to be very honest with me, Spider,» says Dad, in the same voice he uses when he’s asking someone in the clan to admit to a wrongdoing. «We almost lost Neteyam, and by the way the Recons are advancing, they’ll find Camp sooner or later. Everyone here, Kiri, Lo’ak, Tuk… everyone, they’ll be at risk. Are you aware of that?»
«Yes! I know!»
«Then I need to know what you told them! I need to know so I can protect everyone! Do you understand how dangerous they are? All the harm they could do?»
«I didn’t tell them anything! I swear!»
«I’ve been too soft with you. I should have… maybe Neytiri was right.» Dad exhales, like he’s bracing himself. «We’ll move High Camp again, and you can’t come with us.»
What?
«What? No! Jake, please!»
«I need to protect my family.»
No! No!
«No! Please! I swear I didn’t tell them anything!»
«I can’t risk everyone this way, not when—»
«It was me.» Neteyam stands up. He tries to keep a straight back, to be strong, but his heart is racing inside his chest. «What the Recom know… they know it because of me.» He can’t look into his father’s eyes.
«What?»
«I’m sorry, Dad. I…»
«It wasn’t his fault!» yells Spider. «Quaritch…»
«I know you told Quaritch the general direction of High Camp», Dad interrupts. «I’m not mad about that, you did the best you could, son. Go back to Camp.» Dad puts a hand on his shoulder and gently pushes him in the direction of High Camp.
He takes a step and then looks back.
«What about Spider?»
«I have some things to discuss with him.»
Dad is dismissing him, and Neteyem's duty as a soldier and son demands that he obeys and leaves, but…
«You want to leave Spider behind.»
Spider, who grew up with them. Spider, who Neteyam thought was going to die with him. Spider, who hasn’t told anyone about how exactly Quaritch got the information out of him.
Dad sighs.
«Go back, Neteyam.»
«He didn’t tell them anything, Dad. You don’t have to punish him.» He licks his lips, braces himself. «It was me, it is my fault they know-»
«They know our movements. Our patrols. They’ve been getting better at capturing and killing warriors, and they track us like… bloodhounds» he says the word in English, bloodhounds. Dad looks back at Spider. «Someone is feeding them information.» Neteyam and Spider pale. Their eyes cross, and Neteyam knows they both have the same thought. Dad notices it, too. «Is there anything you want to share with me, Spider?»
Spider looks at Neteyam and then back at Jake.
«No…»
«There's no point in lying. I know everything.»
I have to tell him. ‘Quaritch is using tsaheylu to interrogate the warriors’, that’s it. That’s all I have to say. Spider looks at him, pleading. And Neteyam wants to talk, he has to, he has to protect Spider, but the words are trapped inside his chest.
«After so many years… why, Spider? What did they promise you?»
«No, Jake. I swear, I swear by Eywa…»
Dad hits Spider on the face with his tail. Hard enough that Spider falls to the ground. Dad has never hit Spider, not when his human body is so much more vulnerable than theirs.
«Stop with the lies.» Dad looms over Spider, only this isn’t Dad, this is Toruk Makto.
Neteyam steps in front of Spider.
«It isn’t Spider’s fault.» It’s his, because he didn’t tell Dad the Recoms had learned they could use tsaheylu for interrogation. This is his fault, because he asked Spider to keep it a secret. «They’re… » Neteyam swallows down. «He’s using tsaheylu to… » To get into our minds. He digs and prods, without care. «They’re using it to get information.»
«How do you know that?» asks Dad. But he already knows, he already knows, because he’s pale and his eyebrows almost touch.
Neteyam braces himself. «Because that’s how they knew where High Camp was.»