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Published:
2016-11-24
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Squash and Other Vegetables

Summary:

What kind of person inserts a butternut squash into their rectum for sexual pleasure?
Well. Scott Tyler and Pedro Canta, for two.

Notes:

Sorry.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Pedro shuffles uncomfortably from foot to food. He’d rather like to sit down but, given his current predicament, he’s not quite able to. It isn’t busy here, this late (early?) on a Tuesday night, not in this emergency department. It’s just Pedro, a mum with a crying baby, a guy maybe in this thirties, an older couple and another young man about Pedro’s age. He’s also standing and looking intensely angry – uncomfortable? Perhaps in pain? – looking up at the clock as he resolutely raps his fingers on his arm.

There’s a two-hour wait for all the people currently in the waiting area to see a doctor, or about an hour to see one of the emergency department’s nurses for medical attention. Pedro’s been triaged already and assessed as low priority – he had at first been offered a trolley in the minor injuries section and a curtain for privacy, but Pedro had decided not to. His problem is humiliating and deeply uncomfortable but it’s entirely of his own doing and definitely not going to kill him in the near future.

The guy across from him – the angry one – lets out an annoyed groan and wraps his arms tight around his abdomen.

The man in his thirties cradling his arm looks over. “What are you here for?”

The guy looks him deep in the eye, mouth pulled tight, and says the most ridiculous sentence Pedro’s ever heard. “I got a butternut squash stuck up my ass.”

Pedro’s jaw drops in shock. “Same,” he utters, amazed.

The guy chokes. “For real?”

Pedro begins to blush, although the colour of his skin tends to disguise it to begin with. He shrugs, playing as confident as he can. “My dildo wasn’t big enough.”

The man with the hurt arm smiles uncertainly, unsure as to whether it is a joke or not. He pulls out his phone and starts texting, or possibly tweeting about the conversation he’s part of.

The other butternut squash guy – long dark hair, dark skin, American accent – smirks slightly.

Pedro takes a bold step forward and nods at him. “I’m Pedro.”

“Scott.”

Pedro licks his lips and leans against the wall with his right side. “Why did you do it?”

Scott shrugs, putting his hands into the pockets of his baggy hoody. “I thought I could do it. I tried it just to see – and I could.”

“Of course,” says Pedro, Privately, he thinks his reason is better – sexual gratification on a low budget. His cheeks heat up further as Scott checks him out.

Scott winks and something inside Pedro swoons. “Can I get your number? You know, in case you want to stick any other vegetables up your ass and need someone to get it out.”

“Does it have to be a vegetable?”

“I’m sure we could work something out.”

Pedro casually nods, because he’s smooth as shit. He relays his number to Scott who dutifully keys it into his phone. “I’ll text you,” he says, smoothly peeling himself away from the wall as his name is called.

Pedro doesn’t actually expect Scott to text, so is a pleasant surprise that he does two days later. They agree to go out for a drink and Pedro’s very nervous as he picks out his nicest thick jumper (because Nottingham is cold) and he and Scar argue for half an hour over wearing shorts on a first date. Richard calls the deciding vote – no – on the grounds that shorts on men are not welcome in most bars.

Pedro calls Matt to be on his side. Matt says there is nothing he cares less about.

So Pedro meets this guy who got a butternut squash stuck in his large intestines on the same night as Pedro, tugging at his scratchy but warm jumper and feeling uncomfortable in loose fitting jeans. He’s fashionably late to the bar – about twenty minutes – and finds Scott waiting at the bar with a beer in front of him. Pedro orders a glass of wine and takes the stool next to him. They talk about food to begin and then turn to television and films. Pedro asks how he came to live in the middle of England but Scott shrugs it off as a long story and doesn’t ask about Pedro’s own journey.

They leave when Pedro finishes his wine. Scott doesn’t finish his beer but he invites Pedro back to his flat for tea.

Yeah, ‘tea’. The flat is small and tidy, what Pedro sees of it anyway before Scott invites him into his room – very, very tidy – and it quickly progresses to shirtless making out against the wardrobe – Scott has tattoos, Pedro loves tattoos – and then to Pedro being flat on his back on Scott’s bed and being fucked, hard and rough and well. They don’t finish together but Scott enthusiastically gets on his knees and finishes Pedro off and then gently cleans him up.

“You want some tea?” Scott offers after they’re both cleaned up and after Pedro’s heart rate has settled back to normal.

Pedro blinks. “Uh – yes, thank you.” He’s never had tea after sex. He pads out into the main room after Scott, clad only in his boxers.

Scott rifles through his cupboards shirtless, in plaid pyjama bottoms. There are tattoos on his back that Pedro hadn’t noticed. A large tree near his ribs, a swirly pattern on his shoulder to go with the compass on his front and the decorative band around his biceps. “What sort of tea d’you want? I got… breakfast, green tea, peppermint, earl grey, lapsang souchong, camomile…”

“What are you having?”

Scott drums his fingers on the cupboard. “Lapsang,” he says after some thought.

“I’ll have that too,” Pedro says.

Scott turns his head, looking at Pedro from over his shoulder. “Uh – unless you wanted something alcoholic. I don’t drink much, I forget to offer it…”

“Tea sounds nice.”

“Cool.” Scott busies himself making the tea and letting it steep in the pot, slipping a flowery tea cosy over the top. He searches through the cupboards for mugs, letting Pedro take his pick, and finally leans back against the counter when he’s done all he can. He taps his fingers on the counter restlessly, eyes darting around the flat before resting on the window.

“I can go,” Pedro says quickly.

“No,” says Scott, just as quickly. “I’m not – you can stay. It’s not even midnight…” he pulls a face and looks back out the window.

Pedro looks around the flat. Like many flats, the kitchen and living area are the same room, and like many flats in this area they are spread over different levels, with a step up to a closed door, an uneven ceiling and steps down to the corridor where Scott’s room is. It’s very clean and orderly, if a little tired looking.

Scott pours the tea and hands the mug Pedro picked out to him. Pedro takes a quick sip which he immediately regrets when it scalds his tongue. But it smells good. “I’ve never had this tea before.”

“It’s good,” Scott offers. “All… smoky and shit. You can have milk or sugar if you want, and lemon juice is meant to be good…”

“It’s good. Thank you.”

Scott nods. “How was the sex?”

Pedro quirks an eyebrow and blows on his tea. “Uh…”

“That bad?”

“No – I just…”

“Was I too rough?” Scott frowns. “I can get kind of into it.”

“No!” Pedro shakes his head emphatically. “I liked it. It was great. People just don’t often ask me straight after…” he waves his hand.

“You don’t usually debrief after sex, huh?” asks Scott, amused.

“Yes.”

“I like to know.”

Pedro sips his tea, without scalding his tongue this time. If he wants to know… “It’s a matter of personal preference,” Pedro says slowly, “But I like biting. Your rhythm was good – nice – and you touched me a lot. I liked that a lot.”

“Sweet. Well. I thought your noises were very encouraging.” His eyes flick to the corridor that leads to the stairs they entered the flat by. “Might want to put a shirt on,” Scott advises.

“Why?” Pedro asks, putting his mug on the counter.

Scott pulls a blanket off the sofa and throws it at Pedro, and as Pedro catches it he hears the front door open and noises travel up the stairs.

A woman comes up the stairs first, followed by a man who looks exactly the same as Scott. Pedro actually double takes, forgetting that he is still in just his boxers and hasn’t yet pulled the blanket over himself. They’re great boxers and they make Pedro’s ass look amazing, but they are not known for being dignified or appropriate clothing for first introductions.

“Told you,” Scott says over the top of his mug.

“Did he tell you we were just about to come in?” asks the woman. “They’re so creepy! Jamie, did you text him?”

“I didn’t text him,” says Jamie – Pedro assumes he’s called Jamie – as he rolls his eyes at Scott.

“It’s so creepy,” the woman insists, nudging Jamie with her elbow.

Jamie grins but otherwise ignores the comment. “So you’re Scott’s…?”

“We just had sex,” Pedro supplements.

Scott bobs his head. “What he said.”

“Is there enough tea for me?” the woman tries tor reach around Scott for the teapot.

“Make your own,” says Scott, defending the pot with his body.

“Scott!” she complains, looking at Jamie for help.

“Play nice,” says Jamie mildly. “I’m Jamie and this is Holly. Since Scott isn’t telling you.”

“Pedro.”

“Nice to meet you.” They shake hands, which is strangely formal given Pedro’s in his boxers.

Holly manages to wrangle the teapot off Scott eventually, with no tea being spilt. “I gave you that to wear not to hold,” Scott says, nodding at the blanket.

Pedro pulls it around himself as Holly pours herself some tea. There’s not enough left for Jamie, something Holly gleefully teases him about as they make their way to a room that comes off from the main room. Jamie’s room, Pedro assumes.

“You have a twin brother, then?”

“Twin,” Scott corrects. “Jamie doesn’t really identify as any gender.” He scans Pedro for a reaction but Pedro nods accordingly. He doesn’t know anyone not in the gender binary but he’s heard of it. “And you like the tea?”

“It’s good.”

“D’you want anything else?”

Pedro shakes his head, cradling the mug back in his hands.

“Sex?” Scott looks at him with a raised eyebrow. His well-defined chest is proudly on view, the fox tattoo over his clavicle.

Pedro smiles. “Let me finish my tea.”

Scott kicks him out early next morning.

Well. It’s not early early and Scott says he’s very welcome to stay, because Jamie and Holly will be around, but Scott has to go to class.

Pedro kisses his cheek as he makes to leave which surprises Scott. He freezes, frowning at Pedro, not looking very awake at all.

The words are out of Pedro’s mouth before he realises. “You want to get dinner sometime?”

“Dinner?” Scott tilts his head to the side, even more bemused.

“Yeah. Thursday?”

“…Yeah, ok,” Scott says, eyes narrow and suspicious.

Pedro swallows, beginning to feel very wrong footed. “I guess I’ll text you,” he says, and then Scott lets him out of the flat.

~

The thing is that Scott doesn’t date. He doesn’t have the time to date, he rarely cares enough about a person to bring them into his life properly. So, while he knows it’s a bit shitty of him to do so, he ignores Pedro’s first text. But then the next day, during his lectures his phone lights up about four times, all with texts from Pedro.

Scott’s a focused student. He cares a lot about his studies, he can keep his mind totally on his lectures. And so he waits to the end of the two hour lecture before he finally checks his phone.

how do u find will smith in the snow???

look 4 the new prints

wait no

how do you find will smith in the snow????

Fine. Scott will reply.

Look for the fresh prints?

fuck

yes

Scott smiles when he reads the texts.

He has another lecture in an hour, and he could find some of his acquaintances and should probably find some food. He looks around, searching for any of the small collection of people he’s been mildly sociable with this year but can’t see any in this class. He’s surprised by a pair of arms wrapping around his middle on his way to the cafeteria, but it turns out it’s only Holly.

“Don’t do that,” he scowls, pulling her off.

“Sorry,” she says, and actually looks apologetic. “What are you eating?”

Scott shrugs.

“I want pizza. You want pizza?” Without letting him answer, Holly drags him over to the pizza corner of the cafeteria and then drags him over to a table with her friends. Some of them know him and a couple think he’s Jamie at first. But they know him enough to not be offended by his pulling out his textbooks and studying at the table as he eats.

Scott finds statistics very difficult. Life has taught him that when it comes to adversary, it’s best to pound and fight until he succeeds. Statistics is teaching him otherwise. He half listens to the conversations around him, part watches the clock, part bitches at Holly for picking the pepperoni off his pizza, and the small remainder concentrates on the book.

It takes him a minute or so to notice that he’s dropped sauce onto the stats book but Scott can’t bring himself to care.

The main problem eating with Holly is that she’s nosy. She’s part of his and Jamie’s life – Jamie’s closest friend and a near constant presence in their small flat. She notices every time his phone lights up from a text, and while Scott is good at avoiding peer pressure, Holly’s gaze makes him answer the texts. This means that, against his better judgement, Scott agrees to have dinner with Pedro at Pedro’s place on Friday.

His phone lights up a final time at the table after he agrees.

im making butternut squash risotto :)

Scott flushes and fights a smirk.

Come Friday, Scott regrets his decision. He toys with his phone, tempted to fake having come down with illness.

“Why’d you say yes if you didn’t mean it?” asks Jamie, looking very comfortable with their pyjamas and hot chocolate, legs thumping against the counter.

Scott pulls a face. “He was sweet. I don’t know. Holly made me.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Sex was good, then.”

“Don’t date for sex, Scott,” Jamie advises.

Scott flips him off. “I wouldn’t.”

“Are you going with that shirt?” asks Holly.

Scott smoothes his shirt down self-consciously. “What’s wrong with this?” It’s soft and purple. It’s Scott’s favourite.

“Black makes you look better,” says Holly.

“Black’s boring,” Jamie retorts.

“All right, don’t get shirty,” Holly says and then sniggers at her own joke.

“That top’s mine, anyway,” says Jamie. “I thought I’d lost it.”

“If you’d asked, I might have given it back,” says Scott.

“Can I have it back?”

“Fuck you.” Scott crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m leaving now, you guys are that fucking annoying.”

Jamie and Holly smile smugly as he gets his things together.

“Stay out of my life, assholes,” he tells them as he leaves, which only makes the happier.

Scott arrives at Pedro’s ten minutes early. He hates being late but most people aren’t very prepared so he loiters outside the houses, before pressing the buzzer almost exactly on the hour. Pedro lives in a first floor flat, like Scott, above an Italian chain restaurant. At the first floor window Scott sees bright pink flowers in pots standing on the windowsill.

A woman answers the door after a minute or so. She’s short, shorter than Pedro even, and has long black hair pulled back in a bun similar to Scott’s own. “Scott?”

“Yeah, hi.”

“I’m Scar,” she says brightly. “Pedro’s cooking. Come on in.”

He takes his shoes off at the door and shuts it behind him. Pedro (and Scar’s) flat is a lot bigger than Jamie and Scott’s flat, and is a lot more cluttered. The walls are covered in old film posters and dusty old books line the bookcases and are piled up near the television. She leads him to another room, the kitchen of the flat. As promised, Pedro’s at the stove cooking. His face brightens as he sees Scott and once more, Pedro leans in to kiss Scott’s cheek.

“Nice place you got here,” says Scott, glancing around, although in truth the mess in the kitchen makes him squirm a little.

“Thanks,” Pedro beams.

Scott takes off his jacket and scarf and hangs them on the back of one of the chairs. Scar stares at him with a strange intensity which makes the silence very uncomfortable. “Is it just you two here?”

“Four of us. Matt, Richard, Pedro and I all share this place. You’ll probably meet the other two later.”

“Uh –“ Scott starts, alarmed, but Pedro flaps a towel at Scar.

“They are going upstairs,” Pedro says. “Like, right now. Go.” He snaps the towel again and Scar pushes off the counter, pulling a face at him.

“Killjoy,” she mutters as she leaves the room. “He’s real cute, Pedro,” she calls out over her shoulder.

“She’s right about that,” says Scott, relaxing against the counter.

“Definitely,” Pedro grins. His face is shiny from leaning over the head of the stove, his face flushed and hair a mess like he’s been running his hands through it. Like how it looked when they’d fucked.

“Smells good.”

“I love butternut squash,” says Pedro, his eyes glinting.

“You’re a little shit,” says Scott, stepping closer. He really doesn’t usually do this dating thing – and for good reason, as when he leans in closer he feels self-conscious and awkward – but it would be natural right now to kiss Pedro. At least Scott thinks it would be, but he might just be horny.

Scott chickens out in the end. Just watches Pedro hum as he stirs the risotto, carefully pouring in more stock to the pan. “Do you have any allergies?” Pedro asks.

“No,” Scott tells him. “Do you cook much?”

Pedro laughs easily. “This is the only thing I can cook. My mother always made beautiful stews and she wanted me to copy her but I could never.”

“Where’s your mom now?” Scott remembers his careful avoidance of family related subjects at their first drinks. First date, he supposes.

“Back in Peru.”

Scott nods. “And that’s where you’re from?”

Si. Yes.”

Scott continues the line of questioning despite the fact that it strays near to conversation that Scott doesn’t want to broach. “When did you move here?”

Pedro thinks as he tastes his risotto. “Maybe… eight years? The food is ready,” he adds. He gestures to the laid table. “Have a sit. Uh – seat,” he corrects.

Scott doesn’t sit yet. “Can I get anything?”

Pedro shrugs. “Do you want a drink? There’s some wine in the fridge.” Pedro places the pan on the table – directly onto the table which makes Scott cringe a little - and waves a hand at where the fridge is. “But don’t drink if you don’t want to.”

Scott frowns a little at him. “I won’t,” he says, and starts to search the cupboards for wine glasses. And now he’s made it awkward again by being his usual surly self. He tries to smile over his shoulder at Pedro but Pedro’s not looking at him. Which is for the best; Scott catches his face in the reflection of the splashguard, and it’s definitely more of a grimace than a smile. Maybe he should just make an excuse and then bail.

He looks at Pedro again. He’s enthusiastically grating Parmesan over the meal. “Dude, that’s the most horrific sweater I’ve ever seen,” Scott blurts out.

Pedro laughs. “Matt made it for me. It’s very warm.”

“What colour is it meant to be?” Scott steps closer, trying to peer at it.

“Green,” Pedro says.

“What? It’s like…. Grey with a hint of brown,” Scott laughs. “It looks scratchy, is it scratchy?”

“It’s soft and warm,” Pedro insists. “I like this jumper. It gets very cold here and I need it. Now – sit down!”

Scott sits. Pedro gets wine out of the fridge and pours a small amount for both of them. “It does get real cold around here,” Scott agrees. “I’m usually in four layers.”

“It’s so cold! I have some ponchos from home in Peru,” Pedro says, finally taking a seat. “I wore three at once when the heating broke down.”

“When we moved here it was winter. I come from Nevada… I thought my toes would actually fall off.”

“You do have very cold feet,” Pedro agrees. “You kept putting them on me in your sleep.”

Scott pulls a face. “I do that. Sorry.”

Pedro beams at him regardless and touches his foot with his own under the table. Scott compliments his cooking which is pretty good. Jamie texts him during the meal, offering to fake an illness if Scott wants an out. But – and this surprises him – Scott’s really enjoying himself. It’s a comfortable meal in a comfortable environment, with the little bit of wine easing the way.

The other two – Matt and Richard – burst into the kitchen when Scott and Pedro are flirting particularly heavily. Scott’s been slowly leaning further over the table towards Pedro but he quickly sits back when the door bursts open. Tall, white and blonde followed by tall white and dark haired. Pedro points them out as they come in with a sigh that suggests he’s been expecting this all night. “That’s Matt –“ dark haired, “and Richard,” the blonde.

Matt makes his way to Pedro’s side and drops a hand on the back of his chair.

Possessively, Scott might have said, but then Matt eyes him up. Maybe not so much possessive as protective.

Scott smirks at him.

Matt’s eyes narrow. “Are you at university here?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you’re on my statistics course.”

Scott thinks back. He tends to stick to the edges of the lecture theatre, usually in one of the middle, though he’s not totally averse to sitting at the front. Jamie calls him a nerd for it but he’s kind of a nerd anyway. This means he doesn’t always see everyone in his class, especially if they sit near the back.

Matt looks like the kind of guy who definitely sits near the back. But Scott thinks he’s seen him at a few of the tutorials he’s attended. Matt’s one of the few students who turns up, shows everyone else up and then comes back for the next session.

Fuck statistics. “Yeah, I’ve seen you around,” Scott says.

“Is there nothing worth watching on TV?” asks Pedro pointedly.

“Not as fun as this,” Richard says.

Scott commends him for being honest but Pedro doesn’t share his sentiment. “Fuck you guys,” he says, rolling his eyes at Scott. “They just want my nice food.”

“I’m a starving writer,” says Richard, patting his small belly. “And Matt just wanted to nose.”

“Do you both have to be so annoying? Go away and leave me alone,” Pedro says, finally looking away from Scott.

“Fine,” Richard says lightly ad jerks his head at Matt. “Come on – we’ve had a look, now we can get some better entertainment.”

“How did you two meet?” asks Matt, ignoring Richard.

Scott’s very willing to answer and opens his mouth, about to do so but Pedro kicks him in the shin. “Don’t indulge him,” Pedro says firmly. “Go away now.”

“You don’t have to yell,” Matt says, but they all know he does. Matt eyeballs Scott one more time before he leaves but Richard cuffs the back of his neck and pushes him out the door.

Pedro apologises quickly. “They wanted to check you out… Matt is like a brother to me.”

Scott shrugs. “They didn’t bother me. I’d wanna check out some guy in my kitchen.”

Having finished, Pedro takes the plates and puts them in the dishwasher. Scott jumps up ready to help as while his early upbringing wasn’t too focused on manners, Alicia’s very insistent that he and Jamie are respectable members of society. So he jumps up to help but in reality, there isn’t very much for him to do. Pedro puts the leftovers in Tupperware in the fridge and Scott wipes the table and that’s the cleaning up done.

They crowd at the fridge for some cosy making out, and Pedro strokes Scott’s top and comments on its softness. It’s all very comfortable. Scott gets the impression that, much as he’d like, won’t be invited up for sex. And that has Scott considering that it isn’t such a tragedy.

Pedro pulls away from him, his lips all soft and wet. Scott tugs him back, ducking his head down to kiss him again. “Wanna play some cards?” Pedro asks around Scott’s mouth.

“Sure,” says Scott and kisses him again.

They play Snap, which Scott hasn’t played for a long time… since foster placements with Jamie back in the US. After a few games of Snap and some making out, Scott looks at the clock on the wall and is surprised to see it’s nearly midnight. They go back to the kitchen to get Scott’s jacket and scarf. Pedro leads the down the stairs. Scott doesn’t want to say goodbye and he thinks Pedro’s the same, because he loiters and touches Scott’s wrist. He closes his fist on reflex so Pedro doesn’t take his hand, but the wrist Scott doesn’t mind so much.

“Want to debrief?” Pedro asks, stepping closer into Scott’s personal space.

“Naughty.”

It takes Pedro a moment to get the joke and he rolls his eyes when he does, smiling.

“Uh.” Scott looks down at his feet, at the dirt on his sneakers. “The food was great.”

Gracias. So was the company.”

“I’m not so sold on your friends.” There’s a beat of silence that follows and Scott looks up. “That was another joke. A bad one. Uh – maybe play music or something next time.”

“Next time?”

“With me… or whomever.”

“Or whomever,” Pedro repeats, amused.

“Shut up,” Scott says, bringing his free hand up to his hair. “I don’t usually do this sort of thing… but I had fun. Like – a lot of fun. I’m kind of surprised…”

“I think that was a compliment?”

“I think it was too…” He shrugs and pulls his arm away and goes to leave. And then Scot re-evaluates and half turns back. “Uh – sorry. I’m bad at this stuff. And I’m kind of a dick. Uh.”

“It’s ok…” Pedro holds out a hand towards Scott. “I would like to do this again.”

Scott bravely reaches for his hand. And takes it. “I think I would too.”

“I’m glad.”

“Sweet.” Scott clears his throat. “I’ll text you.”

“Sweet,” Pedro smirks.

Scott’s jaw tightens. Pedro leans in slowly, allowing him time to back away. That’s a thing Pedro’s been doing all night, letting Scott lean in accordingly. It’s what Scott does for other people when he kisses them and only rarely do they return the favour. He’s very grateful that Pedro does.

Their lips touch and they kiss again, slower and sweeter than before. Scott tugs his hands out of Pedro’s and over to the small of his back. The horrible sweater is scratchy and lumpy beneath Scott’s fingers but when Scott dances his hand lower and goes under it (after pulling back to check that it’s ok with Pedro) he finds the skin just as smooth as before.

Pedro’s hands are moving too. Scott jumps when Pedro’s hand reaches his neck without warning. Pedro pulls back, looking at him with brows furrowed. “It’s fine,” Scott insists, “Just do it a little slower next time. Surprises – surprise me.”

Surprises surprise me. Smooth.

Pedro laughs into Scott’s chest. “Sorry. I’ll do it slowly next time.”

“Next time.”

~

And there actually is a next time. The next time they have lots of sex again, and then the same the time after that. And the same after that.

Scott’s at Pedro’s flat, lying on his back and grinning inanely in ways he doesn’t often do. He’s pestering Pedro make tea or coffee or cocoa, just anything warm and comforting, and Pedro hums indecisively and drops his head onto Scott’s tattooed chest, over his fox tattoo. Pedro’s fond of the fox, it seems.

And then Pedro sighs.

And then Pedro flips Scott off, but Scott won’t let up on the need for a hot comforting drink after sex. Pedro gives up on arguing because he too agrees that a hot drink would be pretty awesome right now. He experimentally picks Scott’s Star Wars top up from the floor and pulls it over his head – which happens to be long enough to cover up all of his important bits. Besides, it’s nothing his flatmates haven’t already seen before.

“Is he up there?” asks Matt when Pedro enters the living room.

“Yes.”

“He ignores me in lectures, you know?”

Pedro shrugs, his defences rising. “He struggles in that class. He says he really wants to do well.”

“I could help him with it,” Matt grouches, changing the channel on the television.

Pedro raises an eyebrow, catching Scar doing the same thing. “You’re going to help Scott with statistics?”

“Yes. Maybe.” Matt scowls, kicking his feet up over the back of the sofa. “You still haven’t told me how you met. It’s suspicious.”

Pedro crosses his arms over his chest. “You remember that night you were all away? Three weeks ago now or something.”

“Yes, I do have a fleeting memory of three weeks ago.”

“I had to go to the emergency department. That’s how I met him.”

“What happened?” asks Scar, growing concerned.

“It’s of a sexual nature,” says Pedro. “You guys don’t always like it when I share.” He says that to Matt, but it’s Scar who perks up most.

“I definitely always want to know,” she says.

Pedro wrinkles his nose. “You can’t say I did not warn you,” he says, looking around at both of them. “And before you judge me – Scott was there because of the same thing.”

“Dildo got stuck?” Scar asks, getting overly excited.

“It was a vegetable.”

Matt’s head turns briefly. “What vegetable?”

“Butternut squash.”

Scar drops her phone in shock. “What?”

Matt turns his head slowly to stare at Pedro incredulously. “Did it fit?”

“That’s how it got stuck,” Pedro says, shrugging.

“And your guy did the same thing?” Scarlett asks, eyes wider than he’s ever seen.

“He wanted to see if he could,” Pedro offers.

Matt makes a noise of disgust. “See! He’s weird. A whole butternut squash up his arse, Pedro, that’s weird!”

“And really impressive,” Scar adds.

“I did it too,” Pedro reminds him.

“Which I’m also very impressed with,” says Scar, picking up her phone again.

“Why did you do it, though,” Matt asks. “Like – for sexual reasons, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s less weird. And I don’t think he has any friends.”

Scar pulls a face. “Harsh coming from you, Matt. You’ve only just us three.”

Matt continues as if he hasn’t heard her. “How do you even get one up there? I don’t trust him.”

“You don’t know him,” Pedro says. “And I don’t care if you don’t trust him. I trust him. I like him.”

Richard, who has been sitting reading the paper for the entirety of the conversation without saying a word, says, “Pedro, put some fucking underwear on.”

Pedro tugs the shirt down lower and goes to make hot chocolate in the kitchen instead. He makes it really nicely too, with whipped cream and marshmallows and everything, and taking his time wandering through the living room so the others get jealous of it.

Scott’s asleep when Pedro gets back to his tiny room. He tries to close the door quietly so not to wake him after he’s put the mugs down, but his door is a bit stiff. Pedro has to pull really hard to get the shitty door to shut, which makes a loud noise and makes Scott sit bolt upright in shock. “Whassat?”

“Hot chocolate.” Pedro picks up a mug and passes it over. “I tried not to wake you.”

“Scool. You took fucking ages.”

“I was talking to my friends.”

Scott grunts and takes a sip, sitting back against the headboard. He looks all naked and attractive, if a little cold, so Pedro searches through his bedding for the blanket which he drops on Scott’s lap and then pulls around the both of them. Scott smiles appreciatively at Pedro’s attire and they sit together in silence drinking the hot chocolate, bumping shoulders.

Pedro takes the mug from Scott when he’s done. He’s got cream on his nose and the stubble on his upper lip, which Pedro kisses off. “My friends want to meet you properly,” says Pedro. It’s not that much of a lie – Scar probably does and Richard always shows an interest in Pedro’s life.

Scott pulls a face. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“What would we do?”

Pedro considers, sliding down in the bed to drop his head on Scott’s (muscular) shoulder. “Sometimes we play board games.”

Scott raises both eyebrows, looking faintly disgusted. “Board games?”

“It’s fun.”

Scott pulls a face. “Can Jamie come?”

Pedro shrugs. “Don’t see why not.”

Scott brightens considerably. “And Holly? She hates being left out.”

Pedro nods, running his finger around the rim of the mug to get the last of the whipped cream.

Scott presses closer to him, sleepy-eyed. “I should get going…”

Scott hasn’t spent the night at Pedro’s yet. Including the first time, Pedro’s stayed over twice – every time he’s been to Scott’s. This is Scott’s second time here after having sex with Pedro, and he declined to stay last time. Pedro slowly introduces a hand to Scott’s calf, careful not to spook him, and starts to rub his thumb against Scott’s skin in small circles. He’s trying to work out Scott’s likes and dislikes. So far, he thinks that Scott likes to be in control and doesn’t like unexpected touches or touches he hasn’t agreed to.

Pedro brings his free hand up to play with Scott’s long hair, winding the blank strands around his fingers. “If you want, you can stay.”

“Thanks,” says Scott, looking over to meet Pedro’s eyes really quickly to impress his sincerity. “But I wanna catch up with Jamie.”

“Oh.” Pedro’s thumb stills. “Okay.”

But Scott still doesn’t move, which comforts him. He wriggles, pushing Pedro’s knees down and turning himself sideways so that his head is in Pedro’s lap. Pedro keeps playing with his hair. He looks along Scott’s torso and back up again. “Your dick is staring at me.”

“Mm, it likes you,” Scott says, sounding half asleep.

“How’s Sunday?”

“Mhmm.” Scott mumbles something and drops his head to the side.

“What?”

“I’m leaving….” He sighs heavily and opens his eyes, scowling at the overhead light. “I’m leaving.” He pulls himself off of Pedro and steps around him to rummage for his clothes.

Pedro takes Scott’s t-shirt off and gives it back, and searches for his own pyjamas amongst the mess. He’s surprised (and grateful) that Scott hasn’t mentioned the mess yet, though it surely irritates him.

It sucks when Scott gets dressed and hides his wonderful tattoos and lovely chest, when his brilliant shoulders get covered by the hoody. Pedro walks him through the living room, where Scarlett gleefully shouts out her goodbyes, Matt vaguely makes a noise in their direction and Richard and Scott are perfectly civil, and then down to the front door. He kisses him goodbye and then goes back up and collapses on the sofa with his legs thrown over Matt. “I miss him.”

“You can’t possibly,” Matt grouses.

“I really miss him,” Pedro insists. “And we’re gonna play board games with you on Sunday. With his twin Jamie and their friend Holly. All of us.”

Matt groans.

“And it’s going to be fun.”

Matt groans louder.

~

Scott’s grades are slipping.

Well.

They’re going to slip. They don’t have exams or assignments every week, but Scott’s just got back an essay he wrote pre-Pedro but is still waiting on the post-Pedro essay he turned in last week. His notes are certainly slipping, and that’s entirely down to Pedro’s incessant texting him and Scott’s inability to not reply.

He can’t even be annoyed at Pedro for this because he was perfectly happy to ignore Pedro before they had that sexless date.

This is why he doesn’t date.

Actually, the main reason Scott doesn’t date is because this kind of thing doesn’t happen to him. Scott doesn’t care about most people. He tolerates them, at best. His close circle are the people who are, for all intents and purposes, his family. Alicia and Danny McGuire, and Holly. Alicia who fostered him and Jamie about ten years ago and actually seemed to like the two of them, even after ten years. Danny, Alicia’s son and their foster brother. At first it was rocky with him, when Danny didn’t want to share his mom, but now they’re good friends and he likes having big brothers. Holly. Jamie’s best friend/almost something more ever since they moved to England.

And Jamie, but then Jamie doesn’t count. Jamie’s like, an extension of himself, only with better people skills and a worse work ethic.

And so for a long time that’s all the people Scott actually cared about, and before Alicia it was only Jamie.

Scott’s known Pedro like, a month. And somehow he’s snuck his way onto that list.

“Well, that’s a wrap. See you all same time next week,” his lecturer calls out, although naturally, the noise of the students getting up and leaving drowns out the end of his sentence.

Scott stares down at his notes in shock. He’s written about four lines for the whole of the lecture, because he spent the rest of the time texting Pedro and thinking about Pedro and planning what to buy from the shops and ignoring Holly’s snapchats and replying to Pedro’s snapchats.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and looks around for someone to save him. He catches sight of Amanda just leaving the hall and jumps up after her, his laptop and belongings in his arms. “Hey – Amanda!”

She turns and smiles pleasantly at him. “How are you?”

“Yeah – great. Listen, did you get good notes on this lecture?”

“They were okay.”

“You reckon I can get a copy?

“You want my notes?” Amanda raises an eyebrow, amused.

“I wasn’t paying all that much attention,” Scott explains.

“You weren’t paying attention?” Amanda laughs.

Amanda’s a pretty hard worker, like Scott. She’s not a friend of his – because as previously mentioned, Scott doesn’t really have friends – but Scott’s fond of her. In that she is a similar level to him in the classes they share – and they share most their modules, given they’re on the same degree. She’s a good partner for projects when he needs projects. “Not exactly… Please, Amanda?”

“Yeah, okay,” she says easily. “I probably owe you for the lecture with my dad. And when I was sick… and when I wasn’t sick. Oh – Scar!”

Scott double takes when he sees Scar – Pedro’s Scar – walking towards them with a smile on her face. “Hey, Amanda! And Scott – Jamie?”

“Scott,” he says, on guard.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” says Scar, looking between him and Amanda.

“Same course,” Amanda explains. “And he usually has really good notes. Oh, how the tables have turned…”

“Please,” Scar scoffs, nudging Amanda with her elbow. “You colour code your notes.”

“So do much people, Scar. How do you know Scott anyway? I mean,” she looks at Scott quickly, “I thought your circle was kind of limited. Small.”im.

Scar smirks. “You my mate Pedro? Him –“ she pauses and looks at Scot’s face, giving him the opportunity to stop her. Scott waves a hand, happy for Amanda to know he’s bisexual. “He and Scott are banging.”

Banging. Scott curls his lip in distaste of the world. “I’m going home.”

“I’ll email you my notes,” Amanda calls out after him.

Jamie’s still home when Scott gets back to their flat, sitting at the desk and trying very hard not to study. “Alicia’s invited us over for dinner,” they say, rubbing sleep out of their eyes.

Scott drops his bag at the door and hangs his coat up on the hook. “When did you get up?”

“Like, a half hour ago,” Jamie says, which is unsurprising. Jamie tosses and turns a lot in their sleep, and with their long hair it gets tangled and messy easily. Scott looks at his twin with abject jealousy and goes to switch the kettle on. He stops suddenly and turns back to yell at Jamie, “Dude!”

“Don’t start,” Jamie says irritably, rolling their eyes dramatically.

Scott waves his hand at the mess on the counter. “Just clean up after yourself! It’s not hard!”

Jamie ignores him. Scott goes to his room to change into sweats and ties his hair up, and when he comes back into the main room he finds Jamie hasn’t moved. “Jamie!”

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” Jamie says, scowling at him.

“Now.”

“I’m busy,” they growl.

“You should have cleaned up before you got busy.”

Jamie flips him off. “Don’t care.”

“Don’t be an asshole,” Scott says angrily, putting his hands on his hips.

Jamie groans loudly. “You’re suck a fucking control freak.”

“And you’re a fucking slob,” Scott shoots back and stomps off back to his room where it’s clean and tidy and organised. He throws himself on his bed with his feet up on the headboard, glaring up at the ceiling.

“This is a stupid thing to get mad about,” Jamie yells about ten minutes into Scott’s brooding. Scott throws a cushion at the door and turns the radio on. Another half hour later he slinks out of his room to find the kitchen clean and Jamie’s work carefully organised. Jamie ignores him as he settles on the rug with his notes and notebook, ready to condense his morning lecture down to one page.

The silence is awkward. Scott taps his notebook, the open page blank but for the date and subject title. He scans the notes he took but nothing goes in, Jamie’s slow breathing distracting him every few words. Scott clears his throat. “Sorry, Jamie.”

“Why?” Jamie asks pointedly.

Scott taps his notebook faster. “I got unnecessarily angry with you. I appreciate that keep the apartment tidy most of the time. I apologise and will try not to do it again,” he says.

Jamie nods and their stony expression finally softens. “Thank you for the apology. Sorry for saying you were a control freak – I mean, you totally are, but –“

“Shut up, you slob. Hey – what are you doing Sunday?”

“Nothing.”

“So uh… Pedro wants me to meet his friends. Like, properly. And uh – you and Holly are totally invited and I do not want to suffer that alone.”

Jamie snorts and then coughs to cover it. “You’re meeting Pedro’s friends? Properly? Isn’t that like meeting the family?”

“Pedro’s family are in Peru,” says Scott, leafing through a textbook.

“So you’re meeting the British family.” Jamie grins. “You have it so bad!”

Scott flushes and turns his head to hide it. “You wanna come or not?”

“Meet your boyfriend and his friends? Like I could miss that.”

Scott doesn’t say anything for a minute and then he mutters, “He’s not my boyfriend”

“Then what is he, then?” Jamie’s looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“A friend.”

“Who you’re sleeping with.”

“Yeah.”

“So he’s a fuck buddy?”

Scott shrugs. And frowns. He taps his pen against the table in a fast rhythm. Drop it, he seethes along their telepathic twin connection.

“You don’t take fuck buddies on dates, dude,” says Jamie.

Scott drops his head back and groan. “We’re seeing each other – Jamie, I don’t know. Drop it.”

“Seeing each other…” Jamie echoes, mocking Scott’s lower voice. “It’s nothing… he’s just the best thing that ever happened to me….”

Scott slams the book shut and sends his most fearsome glare to his twin.

Jamie’s bloody immune. They smirk.

~

Alicia McGuire is the closest to a mom Scott and Jamie have ever had. Caring, compassionate, actually likes the twins, nosy.

Alicia’s totally adopted the whole Britain migration thing they’ve got going. She’s got a teapot all ready and waiting, makes her own scones and even her own jelly – jam. Whatever it is.

“Sit down, sit down,” Alicia bustles. Her homey exterior breaks as she snaps at Danny to unload the dishwasher. Danny pulls a face but does it anyway; he’s excited that the twins are home again.

They catch up on each of their last fortnights as Alicia cooks. Danny’s quick to tease Jamie about Holly and Jamie sticks their tongue out at him.

Alicia swats the back of Danny’s head gently. “Leave Jamie alone. Or I’ll tell them all about your girlfriend.”

“Mom!”

The shoe on the other foot, Jamie shows as much grace as Danny had. They pinch his cheek, grinning widely. “You got a girlfriend, Danny?”

“Get off of me,” Danny fights them off.

“What’s her name?” Scott asks.

“Lisa. And she’s really pretty,” Danny says, folding his arms over his chest. “And way cool, so suck it.”

“Danny,” Alicia chides.

“As cool as Scott’s boyfriend?” Jamie slides in.

“What?” says Alicia and Danny in unison.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” says Scott, turning away from his family.

“He’s blushing; he totally does,” says Jamie.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Scott says with his voice raised. And then rolls his eyes at himself realising his mistake.

“Who?” Danny’s practically leaping with glee. “Do we get to meet him?”

“No you fucking don’t,” says Scott, interrupted by Alicia’s hand (gently) swatting the back of his head.

“Language!”

Alicia feels a little bit bad, ribbing Scott so much about the supposed boyfriend but Scott rarely even socialises, let alone dates. Danny and Jamie bicker as they set the table, leaving Scott and Alicia alone for a minute. She reaches an arm out and hooks him in, kissing his temple.

Scott squirms at first but quickly relaxes into her touch (quicker than usually). “How is everything going?”

She worries about Scott, sometimes. He’s isolated often, prone to indifference, and she is often concerned if Holly and Jamie actually start dating, Scott will be left alone more and more.

He wraps an arm around her waist quickly before pulling away. “He’s just a friend I’m kind of seeing,” he divulges. “It’s nothing serious, you know.”

Alicia quirks an eyebrow at him. He blushes again. “Not – that’s not what I mean,” he mutters.

~

Sunday comes quickly. Pedro doesn’t tend to get nervous, he deals with life as it comes. The afternoon they spend together will happen, whether it is fun or not is the only variable. And worrying about it won’t change anything. But he wants this to go well. He likes Scott. Scott grounds him. It’s really important to him that this afternoon goes well. So he’s a bit tense. More than a little bit tense. Chewing on his fingernails tense, which he hasn’t done since he sat his A Levels.

Pedro doesn’t do well to feeling like this. Scott says he likes to keep his area neat and clean, and so Pedro’s trying to clean up their living room but there’s a big stain on the sofa that nothings gotten out yet, which Pedro hides with a cushion. The wooden floorboards have been swept recently but the rug on top of them is kind of murky looking. There’s always pots and pans in the sink to be cleaned, there’s just stuff everywhere. Accumulated junk from four very different people living their lives in this one flat that no one can bring themselves to get rid of.

Richard takes Pedro’s (poor) attempts at cleaning up personally. After all, it’s really his flat, and he’s supposed to be the responsible one. And he generally is, but since breaking up with a long-term girlfriend, he’s let things slip.

He’s in boxers and a The Clash t-shirt, leaning back against the counter. “It’s not unclean.”

“Scott likes things tidy.”

“Scott can tidy at his own flat.”

“Please?”

Richard sighs. “Is this really important to you?”

“Yes.”

“I guess I’ll rally the troops. Come on, you two,” he shouts at Matt and Scar.

They end up tidying for about an hour, and by the end of it Pedro can’t see much of a difference but he appreciates their efforts.

Pedro dabs at the stain on the sofa with an antibacterial wipe to see if it budges. It does not.

“Stop worrying,” Scar says airily. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“I don’t think he is a thought that counts person.”

What makes it worse is that Scott is late. Scott is never late. Scott is always exactly on time, or a couple of minutes early.

He’s twenty-five minutes late, far past the fashionable limit, and is looking exasperated when Pedro opens the door to the three of them. Holly beams at Pedro. “Our lateness is entirely my fault,” she says, going in to hug Pedro. She’s taller than he is by an inch or so.

Jamie nods at him and also apologises for being late.

Scott’s tense. He kisses Pedro’s cheek, touching his cold hand to Pedro’s wrist but taps on his own thigh with the fingers of his other hand. “I told Holly to be ready on time but…”

“Most people are late,” Pedro shrugs. “It’s just unlike you.”

Scott exhales, losing absolutely none of his tension. Pedro invites them up to the first floor, where his housemates are gathered. Scar double takes at Jamie – they and Scott are dressed very differently, but both with hair tied back and similar expressions. They’re very identical.

Matt’s arms are folded over his chest, trying to look menacing. With most people, Matt would succeed. He’s got big shoulders and plays a lot of sport, a sharp jaw and cold eyes. But he doesn’t appear to intimidate Scott who sets his jaw.

Richard and Scar raise their eyebrows at each other. Pedro makes introductions and everyone smiles warmly at each other. Everyone but Matt and Scott, of course.

“Can I get anyone a drink?” Scar offers, looking amused.

It’s tea all around and she snags Matt to help her.

“Matt seems fun,” says Holly, smiling genially.

“He’s… protective,” Pedro defends.

Richard folds his own arms over his chest, and seriously aren’t they all done with this weird posturing thing? “He means well,” Richard says firmly.

“And Scott doesn’t?” This is Jamie, their eyes hard.

“Standing right next to you…” Scott mutters.

Richard holds up his hands in submission. “I’m just sticking up from my friend.”

So the afternoon could be going better. Pedro rolls his eyes and reaches across to take Scott’s hand and takes him over to the sofa. He gestures for Scott to sit before he notices any strange stains. Jamie sits next to him and Holly next to Jamie, which scuppers Pedro’s plans for some hand-holding. He himself sits crossed legged on the floor and starts organising the Monopoly board, designating himself as banker – Scar always steals from the bank when she’s banker.

Obviously so does Pedro but he’s a better thief than she is. It’s an old game of Monopoly, missing most of the metal pieces so they currently have the thimble, an army man, the wheelbarrow, a pencil sharpener and a Lego man. Richard rummages in the drawers for a minute and comes up with a thumbtack and a paper clip. Matt and Scar join them bearing tea and biscuits, playing them down on the other end of the coffee table.

Matt takes a seat in the armchair, leaning forward to take hold of the thumbtack. “Think this one’s yours, Scott.”

Scott retaliates by putting his hand on top of Pedro’s on the coffee table.

And so the afternoon progresses.

“Who agreed to play Monopoly?” Holly huffs. She was the first out, unwillingly admitting to bankruptcy after she’d landed on Richard’s house covered Leicester Square. She alternates between casual observations and playing on her phone, sometimes taking Jamie’s go for them. Pedro’s out next but at least gets to still be involved by playing the banker.

Scar’s ruthless. She holds out her hand to Richard, taking all of the money he took from Holly, and then some. Richard mortgages every single property and gives her a couple of houses as a plea bargain, sighing as he hands her a large stack of money. He’s out quickly after that and then Jamie folds.

It’s Matt, Scar and Scott left. Predictably, Scar is in the lead as there is not yet a game, sport or competition she loses at, but Scott and Matt are mostly equal. And then Matt lands on Park Lane, which of course Scott owns and placed two hotels on and has already been the demise of Jamie.

“Sorry, Freeman. Guess your money’s mine.”

Matt scowls and looks through his properties at the mortgage rates, at his houses and hotels. “Fuck’s sake,” he mutters, handing all of his money over.

“Sore loser, huh. Coulda guessed that,” Scott goads.

Pedro frowns at him and Jamie thumps him in the leg.

“You and me now, Scott,” Scarlett says brightly.

At least with Scar and Scott there’s a lot less posturing. Scott has a lucky streak on the far side of the board where he avoids the long line of Scar’s properties by landing only on chances and free parking, but it finally draws to a close when he lands on two of the greens.

Scar fist pumps with the money Scott gives her – this is why every note is as wrinkled as a real bank note- and triumphantly counts her money. “Undefeated champion!”

Holly yawns. “What’s the next game?”

“There’s another game?” Richard rubs his eyes. “This is my weekend, guys. I’m tired.”

“Don’t play, then,” says Scar, leaping up to the board game cupboard. “Cluedo! No wait – UNO. Uh…”

Richard shrugs on his jacket. “I’m going to the pub. Text me which thrilling game you pick.”

In the end, they do both. Scar wins Uno of course, but Scott wins Cluedo.

“Did you cheat?” demands Matt.

“What?”

“Did you cheat? Did you look at Jamie’s cards?”

Scott shrugs. “Cheating is an established part of any board game. Pedro was taking money from the bank in Monopoly and no one gave a shit.”

“And Pedro lost. You’re allowed to cheat and lose.”

Scott raises an eyebrow. “Just a game, Freeman.”

“Right, last names, because you’re that cool.”

Scott swings his boots up onto the coffee table. “If the boot fits,” he smirks.  

“Come on, guys,” Scar tries to interfere.

“Why the hell do you like this guy, Pedro?” Matt cuts his eyes to Pedro, trying to keep out of any argument. “He shoved a fucking butternut squash up his arse!”

Holly chokes. Jamie turns, incredulous. “You did what?”

“You should try it,” Scott says levelly. “Might loosen you up.”

Scar throws her head back and full on cackles. “I love this guy!”

Pedro frowns at Scott but stands and tugs Matt up with him. “Let’s talk.” He pushes Matt in front of him up the stairs to Pedro’s room. “I really like him, Matteo.”

“I don’t,” Matt huffs.

“You have not given him a chance.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

Pedro shrugs. “I don’t think he much likes anyone. But he likes me.”

“You can do better than him.”

“That is not for you to decide.” Pedro stares his friend down.

Eventually, Matt shrugs.

There’s a gentle tap at the door. It’s slowly pushed open and Jamie pokes their head in. “Hey – can I come in?”

They both shrug. Jamie takes that to mean yes, Jamie, come right in and make yourself at home. “Uh… so this is all painful,” they say with a smirk.

Pedro makes himself smile.

“Scott’s being a dick. He does that, sometimes. I hoped he wouldn’t but… he doesn’t need much goading. We should go and come back some other time and I’ll make him… not be a dick.”

“Matt is being just as bad,” says Pedro.

“Thanks, Pedro,” Matt mutters.

“Maybe let’s call it a day? We could do brunch next week. Scott and I don’t have lectures or anything Wednesday.”

Pedro looks at Matt. Matt looks at Pedro and then down at his shoes, evaluating his options and his behaviour. “I could do brunch,” he says.

Pedro’s sure Jamie has also said a few stern words to Scott, because Scott’s looking chastised and meek as he says goodbye.

~

Brunch goes better than board games, in that Matt and Scott say very few words to each other. It goes worse than board games however, in that Matt and Scott hardly acknowledge each other.

“My best friend hates my boyfriend,” Pedro states at the breakfast table the following morning.

“Fun,” says Scar brightly.

“How can I fix this?”

Scar pulls a face. “Lock them in a room together? Positive reinforcement? Give Scott a blowie every time he’s civil to Matt, and Matt a bar of chocolate, or something? Beg and plead?” she sighs heavily. “Okay, I guess I could talk to Matt and you could try talking to Scott. It’s not fair to you, if you like Scott that much.”

Matt chooses that moment to come down the stairs and blink at the two of them. “My ears are burning,” he mutters.

“Would it kill you to be nice to Pedro’s boyfriend?”

Matt rubs his eyes. “It’s too early for this…”

“Some of us have lacrosse in an hour,” Scar says, pointedly chopping up a banana over her healthy bowl of porridge. “Some of us have already been for a run this morning, too.”

“No one needs to hear about your freaky level of exercise,” Matt grouches.

“I meant Richard. He knocked over a chair when he came back and woke me up.”

Matt makes himself a cup of coffee and leans on the table, drinking it even as it scalds his mouth.

“Be nice to Scott. He’s a good guy.”

Matt raises his eyebrows. “Sure about that?”

Pedro flicks a cornflake at him.

“Can’t we just agree to disagree over whether or not we like Scott?”

“No,” Pedro and Scar say simultaneously.

Scar takes a bite of her breakfast. “He means a lot to Pedro,” she says, through oats, banana and honey.

“So I keep hearing. It’s not like Scott’s being nicer than I am…”

“I’ll talk to him, too,” Pedro says.

Matt appreciates that his friend is very much into Scott, and he appreciates he’s being a bit of a dick about it. So he acquiesces and vows to make a serious effort to get along with the guy, and when he sees Scott sitting alone in the uni cafeteria, he figures there’s no time like the present.

Scott’s eyes flicker from his textbook to Matt’s face and then back down. He grunts, which is at least an acknowledgement.

“Yo,” Matt tries. It’s only slightly sarcastic, which is better than his usual interactions with Scott.

Scott grunts again. “I’m working.”

“Yeah, Jamie said you studied a lot.”

Now that gets a reaction. Scott lifts his head up. “When were you talking to Jamie?”

“We talked,” Matt shrugs. “On Facebook.” Because he has Jamie as a friend on Facebook after the first time they met, but still doesn’t have Scott.

“Don’t talk to Jamie about me.”

“Don’t you talk to him about me?”

Scott’s glare intensifies. Matt realises his mistake. “Them – sorry, that was an accident.”

“Jamie is my twin. I can talk to them about whatever the fuck I want.”

Which is fair. Fuck, this is hard. “What are you studying? Statistics?”

Scott looks down at his textbook and back up at Matt. “I got told this module is a really good one,” he admits. “I’m pretty good at most math but not statistics.”

“I’m okay at stats,” Matt says. “I could – “

“If you say you’ll tutor me, I swear to God…”

“I wasn’t going to. Just give you some help, if you need it.”

Scott taps his pen against his textbook.

“Look,” says Matt, leaning forward. “Your boyfriend is my best friend. He seems to really like you, you’re a part of his life, I care a lot about Pedro, so we need to get along.”

“Boyfriend?” Scott frowns and stops tapping in favour of spinning his pen through his fingers. “He’s – we’re not –“

Yeah, okay. Matt does not want to get involved in this. “Maybe you should talk about that with Pedro.”

But then, how is he not involved? It’s Pedro who might get fucked over if this messes up, it’s Matt’s best friend who might get hurt. “You don’t consider him your boyfriend? What do you think you are?”

Scott’s still staring down at the pen looking very confused.

“Scott. I need to know what you think about your and Pedro’s relationship.”

“Need to know?”

“Need,” Matt confirms.

“I don’t really… have relationships.”

“I’m no expert but I think you’re in one.”

Scott frowns harder. “Oh.”

~

“Hey, are we in a relationship?” Scott asks as he brings a cup of tea over to Pedro.

“Do you want to be in a relationship?” Pedro asks him back, nodding his thanks for the tea. He’s in the group section of the library. Pedro usually avoids the library, preferring to work at home, but he’s got an essay due in a few days time and he’s not even begun background reading.

“Not what I asked,” Scott replies. He looks anxious, sitting on the edge of the table and jigging his leg.

“We’re not in a relationship unless we both want to be.”

“So you do want to be in a relationship,” Scott surmises.

Pedro shrugs. “Yes. I like you.”

Scott blushes and starts to wind his hair around his finger. “I don’t really… I’ve never had like – a relationship.”

“Do you want one?”

Scott tilts his head as he surveys Pedro. “I don’t mind that you’re interfering in my life.”

Pedro frowns. He turns the page in his textbook. “I hope you were not attempting romance.”

Scott’s expression breaks, the corners of his mouth twitching. “I like you. I like being with you.”

“Do you want to be in a relationship with me?”

Scott hesitates before replying. “I think so.”

Pedro smiles at him this time. The smile grows as Scott – looking furtively around first – bends down to kiss Pedro. “Thanks,” he mutters. “For this talk.”

“What...” Pedro struggles for the phrase. “What made you question?”

“Your buddy Matt had a talk with me. Oh God, he’s gonna give me the shovel talk now, isn’t he?”

“The shovel talk?”

Scott pulls a face. “You know. You hurt my bro I’ll come after you with a shovel. Or something like that… I’ve never had one before.”

Pedro smirks; it’s exactly the kind of conversation he can visualise Matt and Scott happening. Scott kisses him again, after he smiles hesitantly.

Matt never does give Scott the shovel talk. Scott rather knows Matt’s impression of him, well aware of the bulk Matt has on him; the shovel talk doesn’t need to be had between them for Scott to get the idea. The day after his essay is handed in, some days after he and Scott have the relationship conversation, Pedro is in the art room.

Pedro looks up every time someone new comes into the room and when it’s nearing evening, Scott enters and Pedro beams. But then – Scott looks different. Pedro squints at him – and then the realisation that it’s not Scott dawns on him.

Jamie pulls out a chair from Pedro’s table and takes a seat, staring Pedro down. They lift up one of Pedro’s sharper pencils and holds it threateningly in Pedro’s face. “He likes you,” Jamie says with no preamble. “You fuck this up – you fuck with him – and you’ve got me to answer to.”

Pedro swallows. “Is – is this the ‘shovel talk’?”

“That’s exactly what this is. Scott’s annoying and a dick half the time, but he’s the greatest guy. Don’t you forget that.” Jamie reinforces their point by jabbing the pencil further in Pedro’s direction.

“I won’t,” Pedro promises.

~

Scott invites him out, with vague instructions to meet him at a postcode and to bring sports clothes. Scott doesn’t smile much but he has a mischievous look in his eyes when they meet, when he bends down to kiss Pedro’s cheek. They walk into a pre-school, attached to what seems to be a community bar. Scott pays for a court for 45 minutes and asks for a ball and some rackets – and then it dawns on Pedro.

They’re going to play squash. “No…”

Scott smiles broadly down at him. “We have to.” And then he frowns and says, “I mean, only if you want. You don’t have to.”

“You’re not funny,” Pedro informs him. “And I am not good at sports.”

“I’m just as funny as you, and that doesn’t matter.”

They do end up playing squash. Pedro wins about three points over the 45 minutes of simple rallies and actual games, but he’s also aware most of the shots Scott didn’t get were him trying to be nice or showing off and missing the ball.

They kiss in the shadows outside of the courts before they part ways.

~

Scott and Pedro see each other more and more; Pedro starts to feel kind of at home at Scott’s flat. It’s all going rather wonderfully, so naturally Scott freaks out and fucks it all up. That’s what Jamie says, anyway, and Alicia sighs. “You can… self sabotage, sometimes, Scott.”

Scott huffs and pulls the cushion tighter around him. “Self sabotage?”

“Friendly fire. Things are going great and you need something to brood about so you fuck something up…” That’s Danny’s helpful opinion anyway.

“Danny,” Alicia warns.

“My grades are falling, actually,” Scott says. “So it’s not that. I just don’t like relationships.”

“That’s fine if you don’t, Scott. But I think you like this boy, and it’s mean to ignore his texts.”

Which is not what Scott has been doing, thank you very much. He’s been re-establishing boundaries and stuff, by evading serious questions and leaving long replies between texts.

And it’s what Pedro has been doing right back, so at least they’re on the same page.

His family leave it there. Jamie will probably bring it up later because Jamie is allowed to say anything when it comes to Scott, but Alicia and Danny know when to leave him alone. He scowls at them anyway, over the cushion he’s hiding behind.

“Do you think if I asked Holly out properly, she’d say yes?” Jamie asks quickly, their visible hand clenched in a tight fist.

Alicia and Danny raise their eyebrows simultaneously, smirk in the same way and then cover it with a hand.

“You won’t know until you ask,” Alicia says.

“But do you think she would?”

“She thinks the world of you,” says Scott.

Jamie nods and unclenches their hand, stretching out their fingers. “God, this guy’s an idiot,” they say, gesturing at the TV.

Jamie’s right. The guy on TV digs himself further into a hole failing to justify his shitty beliefs. “You’re wrong, man. Fucking accept it.”

“Language...”

He checks his phone. No new messages… two new Snapchats from Scar, though. Her face looking quizzical with the caption how do you make a milkshake? And then her grinning with give a cow a pogo stick.

~

Anyway. Scott’s been thinking about it a lot and he reaches the simple conclusion that earlier conversations with Matt and Pedro were kind of wrong. He has a single-minded determination to explain this to Jamie and spends a long time searching for them – Jamie is the worst at replying to texts. Finally, Scott finds him in an unlikely place. The library.

Jamie does their work – most of it – but prefers their own space to work in. Something Scott and Alicia both share frustrations in – Jamie’s smart. Very smart, with a thirst for knowledge and the ability to understand and appreciate difficult concepts. But Jamie prefers not to study.

“We’re not dating anyway,” Scott says, sitting down beside Jamie at an old table.

“What, you and me? Because that’s true.”

Scott rolls his eyes.

Jamie sighs. “I’m doing work here.”

They aren’t. Jamie’s doodling characters from Dragon Ball.

“Ok, I’m not working but I’m thinking about working.”

“Which totally counts…”

“What do you think dating is, anyway?” Jamie asks. “It’s… is it just like me going out with Holly but with kissing?”

“A friend with kissing?”

Jamie chews thoughtfully on their pen. “Yeah. Is that what you think dating is?”

Scott shrugs. “I s’pose.”

“Dating which is a precursor to boyfriends?”

Scott pulls a face.

“I just mean – how are you not dating?”

He squirms and starts scratching at the dug out letters on the desk. “Because… I don’t like people, Jamie. You know that.”

“You like me. You like Danny, Alicia, Amanda and Scar. And you like Pedro.”

“I like sleeping with Pedro.”

Jamie gestures with their pen. “No sex when you played squash. No sex when we played board games.”

Later, Jamie claims that Scott running away proves he’s learnt something. Scott claims he’s a mature adult in control of his emotions and absolutely did not run away; in fact he had a pressing need to visit the restroom.

~

~

Like. Pedro’s very much aware Scott has personal space boundaries and emotional boundaries and other boundaries, and every time Pedro’s allowed closer than other people he’s… blessed. Accepted. And he doesn’t want to push Scott, so when Scott stops texting him as often, Pedro relaxes the communication. And now they’ve hardly spoken all week, and Pedro doesn’t know what to make of that.

Ok, he kind of does, thanks to a discussion with Scar and Matt.

“That’s what I do when I want to break up with someone,” Scar says, stirring her coffee.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Pedro scowls into his own drink.

“Me neither,” Matt says, brow heavy like whenever Scott’s mentioned.

“It’s a shitty thing to do I know,” Scar continues doggedly, “Because it just freaks the other person out. And it’s childish.”

“So don’t do it, then?” Matt says, a glimmer of a smile on his face.

“But it’s so easy… Anyway, Pedro, if that’s what he’s doing, he’s being a total dick.”

“And even if that’s not what he’s doing, it’s still a dick move,” Matt adds.

“I know.”

“I can ask him or Jamie what the fuck he’s doing if you want,” offers Scar.

“No!” says Pedro, horrified by the prospect. “I am an adult, Scar.”

“Well, then. You go talk to him and find out what the fuck he’s doing.”

“Please, let’s stop talking about this.”

Scar looks up, a fierce expression on her face. “He’s making you upset, Pedro. No one gets to do that. Especially someone you’re seeing.”

Matt pulls a face. “Especially not him.”

Pedro sighs. “He might just want space.”

“Then he should tell you that.”

Pedro blows on his coffee. It’s lukewarm and overly sugared, but drinking it means he doesn’t have to talk.

Maybe Scott just doesn’t need what Pedro needs from a relationship. Pedro resolves to leave the issue until he can’t any more, because it’s not a big thing. They’re only kind of seeing each other and sure, he likes this guy but it’s not a big deal.

He’s confronted with the situation far too early, when he walks into Scott outside the university library.

“Oh.” Scott says, looking at Pedro.

Pedro’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he mutters. “I guess – I’ll go.”

“Go?”

“Yeah?”

Scott frowns. “Ok…”

Pedro turns away, regretting it as he does so he turns back and blurts out, “Do you like me still or not?”

Scott hesitates, which is really all he needs to say.

Pedro shrugs. “Ok, then,” he mutters. He suddenly feels very cold and very small, and makes the ill-advised decision to skip his next class. Instead, he goes home and sits on the sofa with a pot of tea in front of him.

Matt finds him later, curled up under a cushion. “There’s a blanket right here…”

Pedro shrugs.

Matt blows out a heavy breath and picks up the blanket. “Do you want company?”

Pedro nods and rolls onto his back, knees pulled up and pressed against the cushion.

Matt sits on the other end of the sofa and throws the blanket over both of them. “What happened?”

“My heart has been torn into a thousand small pieces,” Pedro says, being only slightly dramatic.

Matt pulls a face. “You and Scott broke up?”

“We weren’t together, not really.”

“Right. Shouldn’t you be crying and playing melancholic music?”

Pedro rolls over onto his side, facing the back of the sofa. He doesn’t feel distraught or like he needs to listen to sad music. “We didn’t even get a chance…”

“Huh?”

“Killed before our time…”

Matt snorts. “I forgot what a melodramatic shit you are.”

Pedro attempts to fold his arms crossly over his chest; he fails and Matt snorts again. “I am free with my emotions and happy to express them. It is a good thing. I know what I feel.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Matt stretches his back, arching like a cat. “Look, I’ll make some more tea. This is cold.”

“I didn’t have the energy to drink it.”

“You were scarcely dating!”

“Exactly!” Pedro huffs. “We were cut off before we were one.”

Matt holds his eye roll. He loves his friend; in many ways, Pedro is his best friend, a brother to him.

But in many ways, Pedro is getting really fucking annoying. “You’re being a bit dramatic, Pedro.”

“My heart hurts.”

Matt sits with him and turns the tv to some truly awful reality shows. Checking his phone again and seeing no new messages, something rises in Pedro’s throat. Embarrassingly, tears prickle at his eyes and he clears his throat.

But to no avail; the tears well up in his eyes and slip down his cheeks. Pedro wipes his eyes quickly, hoping that Matt doesn’t see but Matt notices and reaches out his hand to rest on Pedro’s arm. It’s not as comforting as Matt probably thinks but Pedro appreciates it all the same.

He feels miserable, sniffling under a blanket. Scarlett finds them later, professes them the saddest sight she’s ever seen and slips onto the sofa next to Pedro, one arm over his shoulder. It really hits him now that Scott doesn’t want to be with him. At this point, Pedro’s already built Scott up pretty highly in his head.

It’s actually kind of brutal to think that they’re not together any more. While it’s only been a few months, Pedro’s done what he’s always done and fallen hard and fast.

For someone who evidentially only really wants to fuck him.

~

Scott knows he’s fucked up. Jamie reminds him often enough. Scott tries very hard to avoid Pedro and his friends – because what better way to solve the situation than to hide from it?

“It’s for the best,” he explains to Jamie. “I never wanted to date anyone. I want to get good grades and graduate and get a good job.”

Jamie stares him down. “You can do all of that and have a boyfriend. He was good for you! You were socialising and relaxing a bit.”

“Don’t patronise me…”

“I’m not.” Jamie sits down in front of Scott on the floor. “He made you happy. Why’d you mess it up?”

Scott throws himself sideways on the sofa. “I don’t know, okay?”

“You regret it?”

Scott doesn’t answer but he doesn’t need to. Jamie can read him easy. “Then make it right,” says Jamie.

Scott makes a noise of derision in the back of his throat. “It’s not that easy.”

“I’ll mess up your drawers for every day you don’t do it,” Jamie threatens.

Scott flips them off.

At that moment, Holly barges into the flat in a flurry of thick fur and wool.

“Holly’s good at this stuff,” says Jamie, looking up at Holly like she’d hung the stars.

“So good at this stuff,” says Holly. After a slight hesitation she adds, “At what?”

“Scott’s gonna tell Pedro he fucked up.”

Scott groans loudly. “No, I’m not.”

“You should,” says Jamie. They lean forward and speak with a kind of intensity usually reserved for late night drunken conversations. “This guy makes you happy, man. Why are you throwing that away?”

Scott excuses himself and throws himself onto his bed. He lies there, thinking, for a long time, before he sits up and gets a sharpie out from its drawer.

~

A few days after their break up, Pedro feels shittier than ever. He watches some awful movies on Netflix rather than attending uni, drinks an ungodly amount of hot chocolate and skips showers. He’s of the impression that everything sucks and life is shit; that is until his friends pay him any form of affection and he’s suddenly overwhelmed with love for them.

Pedro catches sight of himself in the mirror and shakes his head. It’s hard to reconcile this self with his fourteen-year-old self, angry and stubborn and resigned to looking after himself and himself only. He curses himself, knowing what a mistake it is to get so attached to another person so quickly.

There’s a sharp rapping at his bedroom door, breaking through the theme music to… Pedro’s too embarrassed to think the name. He shuts it off quickly and opens the door, mouth dropping in surprise to see Scott at the other side.

Scott stands there with a jacket over a white t-shirt, his hair rough like he’s been running his hands through it and a slightly manic expression like Pedro’s seen on him before exams. He tucks a lock of hair behind his ear and then asks, “Can I come in?”

Pedro wants to say no to protect himself but he doesn’t. He nods yes and sits crossed-legged on his bed, hands folded in his lap.

Scott stays standing. He shifts his weight uneasily from foot to foot, gathering his courage. “I – er- I wanted to explain myself. I’m sorry, first, I didn’t mean what I said – or didn’t say.” He breaks himself off and frowns, shaking his head slightly. “I made a list…”

Pedro watches Scott pull out a piece of paper from the pocket of his jacket, covered in ugly handwriting. “I need to explain myself,” Scott repeats firmly. “I iron my sheets and my socks. Every single cake I have ever made for my foster mom, I actually bought. I don’t like milk very much. I don’t like birds.” He taps his finger down the list as he says every point. “When I was eight I bit a kid’s leg who was annoying me.” He hesitates and looks at Pedro and then back at his sheet of paper. “And I just lied there, I was thirteen and definitely way too old to be biting. I don’t get economics. I turn the heating up higher and tell Jamie it was Holly… I don’t like avocado. I don’t like Game of Thrones. I prefer most animals to most people… and I don’t like animals that much.”

Scott continues. “I cry every time I watch The Notebook. And I watch it a lot.” Scott follows down the list in this vein, some more embarrassing than each other. He turns the page and continues down; one truth per line. He finally pauses. “I think I like you. And I’m bad this stuff but I like you. I want to try us together.”

Pedro blinks.

Scott sits down on the end of the bed. He pulls his jacket off and drapes it over the bed (after carefully folding it in half) and Pedro’s eyes widen. Scott has the same neat handwriting up his left arm and a worse approximation up the right. “I thought of some more – I never hang my towel up after I shower, I’m shitty at pullng hair out of the plughole –“

Pedro puts a hand on Scott’s arm. It silences him effectively.

And then Scott talks more – so unlike him to ramble when nervous, he’s a strong silent type – “I’m not really that strong and silent I just give the impression – the point is though, Pedro, that this is me. This is me and I like you and that’s all I have.”

“That’s all I want,” says Pedro.

Scott blushes again and looks away. “That’s so…” he trails off when Pedro reaches up to him and places a hand on his cheek, ushering him down to Pedro’s height. Pedro considers his words carefully and then kisses Scott instead.

He never was much good with words anyway.

 

Notes:

Maybe the most self indulgent fic I’ve ever written???? Like holy shit Caitlin. I’m so sorry.
(the butternut squash was a hospital rumour I’ve never had confirmed.)
Also i totally wanted to write an au where they go to nottingham uni and live there in a cool flat and dont worry i plan on writing more actual uni po5 because im fucking obsessed.