Chapter Text
Sasuke wiped the sweat dripping from her scalp down to her forehead with an exasperated sigh, since when was working out so hard? She needed to get back into the grind, her body was probably getting weaker by the minute and she didn't need life getting any harder than it already was for her.
She really had gotten out of shape these past couple of months. Back in spring she had a nice set of abs complete with toned legs and her biceps had expanded in size. Thinking back at it, that was the first time she had ever felt truly strong, not only physically but also mentally through her mind. A bit depressing to swallow, but that was reality.
Everything was in place and still a little messy at the time , but she had known what was going on, now everything felt almost foreign, (even though this was the place she had chosen) But alas summer had come and gone and along with the heat came along a sense of laziness and her routine had fallen off.
Sasuke sat up and leaned against the nearest wall before she collapsed on the floor, gasping for air as she chugged down her water. How pathetic! She couldn't even do a short 15 minute workout from Youtube anymore without nearly dying from a heatstroke or exhaustion. Her teal tank top was stained with sweat and grime and the shorts she had worn smelled weird.
Sasuke stared down at her top and crossed her arms over her stomach, there was no way it had expanded just from drinking water. There had to be something wrong with her digestive system because how else was this happening so fast. she hadn't even eaten much today! And since when was she so insecure about everything? A couple years ago, hell a couple months back she couldn't have cared less, (or did she look good enough to the point where her body image wouldn't bother her?)
Sasuke quickly slid on her sweatpants and jacket despite the grueling heat in the gym and zipped out the corner at the sound of someone entering. Sneaking out wasn't exactly the problem but coming in was definitely a gamble of luck. The apartment complex sasuke resided in had a small gym that you were initially supposed to make a separate deposit of $120 for per year, and she did not have the spare cash to waste that upon. So every once in a while Sasuke would just sneak in and leave as easily as ever.
The September breeze was a mix of sweet and sour that brought a small smile to her face. The college season in japan had started once again back in august and sasuke was starting to get used to the routine again as it was her 2nd year in a 4 year course.
Last year was so different. She had felt free, free from the burdens of life, from her parents, from her sister, from her hometown, free from everything. August to December she had liked the silence and peace of her life and felt her place. January though, had brought in a wave of uncertainty into her thoughts. Sasuke had demolished that impending feeling of loneliness by focusing on her body's physical shape and had taken up several hobbies to fill in the gaps.
Summer had been her time of using that iron clad body she had built and living around. In all honesty the time between May and August had been just one big blur in her mind. All Sasuke remembered from that time was being alone and trying to make up for it in every way she could.
Now she had just purely given up trying and trying to make her lonely and sad life seem peaceful and extravagant. Life was depressing as hell, what else could she do? Now with all the forgotten forced interests and hobbies out of the equation, she was just trying to make it through.
Sasuke's phone buzzed, startling her out of her thoughts momentarily and brought her attention back to reality. She barely got notifications and quite literally no one texted her enough to ever put her phone on silent. Oftentimes she forgot that messages could be received.
Groupchat- Karin, Jugo, suigetsu
Suigetsu- yo
Sasuke let out a sigh, what did they want now? It was an ungrateful thought, she knew that, but she just couldn't help getting irritated. Yes she was lonely and craved company and someone to confide in,(not necessarily as a romantic interest) but even when her old friends did reach out it still bothered her. Honestly she wasn't even sure if the four of them were still friends, and why they kept reaching out. Every once in a while someone would text and recommend a hang out and sasuke would almost always deny.
Yes she knew it was stupid to deny it but she couldn't help self sabotaging her own victories. And unsurprisingly this time was no different.
Karin- what is it
??
Suigetsu- it was jugos birthday yesterday
He turned 20
Karin- yes ik that dumbass i literally wished him a good year last night
Fuck had she really forgotten? Jugo was a nice guy and was basically like a brother to her, always reaching out and checking in to see if she was okay, so the guilt definitely did reach her.
sasuke- oh im sorry for being a day late to congratulate u jugo
Happy late 20th
Sasuke had turned 21 july 23rd and all of them had wished her, jugo and karin at exactly 12:00 am while suigetsu a couple hours later.
Jugo- it's okay! Just join us for a couple drinks at a small bar tonight
Karin- SASUKE!!! U finally texted 🥹
And omg yes u have to come
We haven't talked in so long
Suigetsu- yeah man c'mon it'll be a little reunion
Jugo- my treat
She stopped in her tracks and took a minute to think about the situation. All of her classes today were done and she had no early ones tomorrow so it wouldn't have been that bad to spend some time out right?
Sasuke- uhh sure send me the address and time
Karin- YAYYY
Suigetsu- wow free food and drinks and suddenly you're in?
Irritation flushed into her bloodstream and through her veins, a second later recurring as guilt. She wasn't trying to come off as a gold digger.
Sasuke- stop its not like that
Jugo- dude lay off
suigetsu - damn sorry
Ugh why did every interaction she had seem so forced and ended up with her looking stupid and uninterested. She really was grateful they had invited her and she hadn't meant to sound so rude.
Sauke was definitely going to try to say something along the lines of an apology for her distance and a sentimental thank you for the inclusivity tonight. For now she just had to get ready and mentally prepared.
…
Thus, as the sun set and the heat around the area settled into a cool embrace around, sasuke started shuffling through her bland wardrobe to find something to wear. Most of the colors she owned were darker, more neutral shades of black and brown with the occasional blue. Usually she’d just wear whatever she could find that was tight at the top and loose at the bottom, but today felt different.
Sasuke turned her phone’s flash on and started digging through her old boxes of outfits from high school.
She was looking for one color in particular, dark purple. And so she settled upon loose grey cargo pants, a leather belt, her dark and light purple v-neck striped shirt, and a brown coat on top. It was cute and brought a bit of nostalgia from her younger years through grade school, she had been quite the fashionista back then. Sasuke cringed at the sudden thought, she sounded like some deceased lady slowly decomposing.
Now, she had to somehow fix up her hair, no matter what she tried and did there was always some part of it in the back that stuck up weirdly through her layers.
It poked out in a foreign way, looking odd since the rest was pin straight and pulled downwards. Sasuke's choppy bangs and cut had been an original of hers since she was younger and it didn't exactly look too bad on her so why switch up?
The four friends were supposed to meet up at around 9 at the Himigichi bar to celebrate but since sasuke didn't have a ride to get there and had felt too awkward to ask one of them to pick her up after so long, she was going to walk. It was just out of the complex and around the corner, a 15 min walk at most, so there was no need to waste money on a taxi or lift.
Plugging in her wired earbuds she started along the path, along the recent years she had gotten more and more into artists like mitski, mac demarco, lana del rey, and other indie and spanish bands. The music was peaceful and nostalgic eerily so since she had never before been one to listen to these genres before. Back in high school she had been a pure punk and rock type of person, completely contrasting with whatever was going on as of right now.
By the time she arrived the place was full and in action, drinks buzzing around and refills all around. She caught a glint of red hair in the distance.
“SASUKE!!” Karin stood up and ran towards her with such urgency they both almost toppled over. “Oh my gosh you finally came!”
The redhead had her hair tied in a high ponytail with her bangs flowing out in a messy but free way, karin was like that. Along with her signature knee high boots and minishorts she looked like the pure embodiment of flawless. Jealousy pushed into sasukes cells faster than she could control it, why couldn't she look as effortless? She quickly pushed the thought from her brain before it contaminated the entire night.
“Hey karin!” sasuke responded hesitantly as she tensely pulled away from the embrace. either karin pretended to not notice how awkward the interaction had been or just genuinely hadn't felt the silence around them. Either way she was happy the moment was done and over with.
Suigetsu and jugo were sitting at the table talking about something apparently hilarious, she quickly said her greeting to them and formally wished jugo a happy birthday.
Suigetsu clasped his hands together and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, “Now time for the starting dish…” he lifted the cloth off of the table in the center, “voila!” revealing a large cocktail, full of fruit and what seemed like a mix of different sweet ciders. “Jugos first legal cocktail!”
He passed everyone a straw and took a sip himself. “Mmm this is so good! I love pineapple,” Karin said with a big smile strewn on her face, eyes twinkling. She already seemed dazed and under the influence.
Sasuke chuckled and took a sip of her own, it tasted like a pina colada with some citrus, not her favorite but still good. The alcohol shot up to her head and made her blink, hard. That was surprising. She wasn't used to sweet and fruity drinks, sasuke was much more of a rich and savory type of person.
“Ahh that's strong!” she said grimacing at the sugar that was now swimming through her system at an excruciating speed.
The next 20 minutes consisted of small chatter and sasuke was feeling more lightheaded by the second. The alcohol was doing a nice job of rounding the sharp edges of her reality.
Looking up she felt a sharp jab of sadness cut inside of her, she really had missed being around others more often like this. And by tomorrow she would be alone again with no one beside her. The mere thought made her nauseous.
Eager to forget these lonesome thoughts and the pain that trailed afterwards, she offered to bring their first bottle of whisky.
sasuke skipped over to the bar area and called over someone serving, “one bottle of whisky please” she slid her credit card to pay so no one around her noticed, jugo especially, out of everyone shouldn't have to pay for his birthday
“SASUKE!” a voice knocked her out of her trail of thought and she turned her head to the side as fast as she could, nearly knocking right into the caller. “Oh sakura! I hadn't seen you, sorry”
“It's totally okay! I shouldn't have sneaked up on you like that anyways” sakura had soft light pink hair pillowing around her face in a short bob style and was dressed head to toe chic. With her wine red mini skirt and brown leather top, she looked straight out of a magazine.
Walking behind her was Ino, with her long blonde hair flowing behind her, and a dark purple short matching set, looking fashionable as ever. “Long time no see sasuke, how have you been?” the blonde said, wrapping an arm around her best friend.
“Yeah I've been busy with the start of the semester and I went back to my parents place for the summer” she said, sinking into a stool and crossing her arms around her midriff to hide her current state. The sad truth was, that she had just been hidden in her apartment the entire time, and communicating with her family? Completely out of the question.
“Mmm that's nice, you should come hang with us if you're here alone! It's just me, ino, temari, hinata and tenten, girls night!” Sakura said with a bright smile. Ino nodded from beside her with a shake of her hair.
Sasuke was thankful for the offer but she wasn't in the mood for that much pretending to have fun. It wasn't that they were snobby or anything, all of them were sweet to Sasuke and always talked to her whenever they happened to be at the same place at the same time. She just wasn't in the headspace to worry about how they would perceive her right now.
They had all been to the same middle and high school their entire lives on the more rural side of town and moved to the further city for college and their after grade lives. Most of the students knew each other over here so they always hung out for drinks and such.
“I'd love to, but it's Jugo's 20th birthday today and I promised to hang out with them tonight, thank you though,” she said with a polite smile and a nod of her chin.
“ooo jugo i remember him! tell him we wish him a happy adult life” ino said tossing her hand before turning to the bartender with a sly smile and shine in her eyes
“Will do” she took the bottle from the server with a quick ‘Thanks' and walked away as the two of them waved after her.
She had always felt so awkward and weirdly unattractive in a masculine way next to them since she was in grade school. Sasuke had always been so big compared to them, not necessarily fatter but mainly because of her towering height while everyone around her was small, short, and petite. Obviously now sasuke had grown into her height and so had the others around her, ino and sakura were basically equal to her in terms of “body mass” now. But still, back then having an early growth spurt was torture, (expecially since all the boys around her were behind on theirs so it was an embarrassment to say the least)
A whiff of salty air caught Sasuke's attention from someone's cologne from behind her. She had to be imagining it because why else would someone wear something that smelled so putrid.
Ew
When she came back to the table they were sitting at jugos hair was in two pigtails done by karin who was giggling beside him clearly already feeling giddy. Suigetsu was scarfing down a slice of pineapple that came with the fruit cocktail trying to sober up before the whisky.
“Sasukes got the bottle!” he blurted, his mouth full with juice from the delicacy.
“Finally!”
She laughed a bit under her breath while they were looking and popped the cork open.
The whisky flowed naturally through everyone's glasses and throats like a river does in nature, oh how she wished she resembled something so pure.
Liquid gold is what they all called it. It tasted bitter with a tang of something metallic, like pennies, and she couldn't exactly say she was too fond of it.
“Soo karin” jugo slurred with a light smile
“So what jugo??” she said with an exaggerated mocking accent of his
After exchanging a look with suigetsu, “whos that new guy you've been posting on insta?”
Karin turned redder than her flowing locks and turned to look at sasuke for sympathy while giggling. After seeing Sasuke's bleak offer of a tight lipped grimace she returned back to them, “oh he's no one!”
“Come on it has to be someone” they were both smiling eye to eye with a mischievous glint in their eyes.
“Just some guy from the city side, near here”
Their banter continued on for a while, sasuke was slipping in and out of consciousness while they argued upon everything with big grins.
All this talk about Karin's love life was making her reminisce about life in high school. During sophomore year and the entire summer the redhead had an obsessive crush on suigetsu.
He was a hoe so of course he hooked up with her for a while but when Karin liked a guy she had quite a tendency to idolize them. And obviously at first the constant praise attracted his attention but after a while it gets a bit boring to have someone just agree with you on everything.
And alas they had both moved on and were honestly better off as a siblings dynamic, it matched them much better. Still, it wasn't uncommon their friendship had others questioning if they were siblings or dating, they were quite on and off.
Sasuke had never really understood human attraction before, partly because she was almost 100% sure she was aromantic and asexual. Almost 100 because thinking back to the recent years and the present she had been craving company other than just peers in a classroom.
And in high school it wasn't that she didn't want to do things like going on dates or having someone with her, it was just that she couldn't imagine herself doing all those things. It wasn't even the fact that she wouldn't enjoy it, it was that the idea of her being with someone seemed unfathomable.
As for asexual, that she was sure of. Nothing of the sort was anything she would ever even dream of desiring. Why the fuck would she want some dudes dick in her mouth? Now that didn't mean she was into women or anything, eating someone out just seemed disgusting. And how was using a strap pleasing for the giving end? She had never been one to get high off dopamine or hormones, she never got horny while drunk.
Back when suigetsu was in his whole hentai and porn phase, he had forced sasuke into watching some with him and in all seriousness it just looked painful and nasty. Kissing didn't seem too good either, someone slobbering in her mouth was disgusting
Suddenly a wave of nausea hit her at an excruciating speed and felt suffocating.
Sasuke rushed into the restroom without much of an excuse to tell her friends, stopped at the mirror and turned sideways, lifting her shirt.
she wasn’t thick and curvy like ino nor skinny but still muscular after years of playing volleyball like sakura. she wasn’t too good at sports after all.
In fact she looked more like those ugly mini titans from attack on titan rather than a woman from the way her features sagged.
Whatever
She just pushed the thoughts aside as drowsy hallucinations and not something she had to actively be insecure about for the time being.
Another wave of discomfort hit her like a bullet through her chest at top speed and she fell onto the floor of a stall. Too distraught to lock or even close the door she held her hair back and tried to gag.
There was no way she was already puking, usually this happened in the morning or at least when she was at least a couple hours in intoxication. Sasuke wasn't this much of a lightweight.
She kept coughing and trying to get something out to clear her stomach so she could go back to being fine, but all that was coming out was disgusting mucus.
When she hacked up as much as her throat had to offer she collapsed against the toilet with a groan
Saske honestly didn't know how much time she had spent alone on that sticky bathroom floor, but by the time someone finally entered the restroom it clearly wasn't enough.
A sweet and feminine voice carried through the walls as someone walked in. The girl was on the phone and was saying something urgently. (assuming this was a she, of course)
Once she was sure the lady had cut the call she was on, Sasuke let out something within the lines of a wait for help.
Phonecall lady ran towards the stall sasuke resided in with a gasp. The sound she’d emitted echoed through her brain like beats on a drum.
When the woman came into view, Sasuke was nearly blinded by her presence, she was so..bright. Like a highlighter, or a lit matchstick.
“Oh my gosh! A-are you okay??” this mystery savior was blurry and out of her vision.
“I-uh i’ll be fine, just help me up, okay?” Sasuke said with a groan
Phonecall nodded quickly and helped support her up and walked her slowly to the bench across from the mirrors.
Taking a closer look at her surroundings, Phonecall lady was very pretty and very bright as well. Sort of in a honey sunshine way, too sweet, like the honey her skin was. Had she already thought of honey? She kinda resembled the sun too in a way, lighting up the place and such. Glancing a bit more into the scenery around her, the bathroom was very 2000s tuscan themed. The honey bun girl fit right in, like a prepared and well thought out magazine shoot.
All these thoughts flew around Sasuke's head as the yellowy blonde honey girl hurriedly spoke and checked pulse points like her neck and wrist.
Fuck she wasnt dying, just nausaous!
“Im fine blondie,” sasuke tried to say to silence her worry but it landed more like a croak from an old toad.
“Are you sure though? Because I read in an article somewhere that alcohol poisoning should be seriously treated!”
“Just get me some water” why the fuck would sasuke have alchohol poinsoning?? Everything served here was by licensed professional bartenders and she highly doubted anyone wanted to spike her drink. This “episode” was likely just an effect of her poor diet.
Blonde phonecall lady nodded and shuffled around till finally handing her a glass of water. where she got this clear glass container,couldn't have concerned her less.
After downing the whole glass in one go, sasuke could admit that it made her mind and eyesight clearer. She pushed her hands as support against the bench, trying to stand up and get the ball rolling, with much failure.
“Here let me help you,”
Blondie took Sasuke's arms and put one around her waist and took the other in her hand, guiding her up and out of the doorway. Her face was mushed into blondie's shoulder for a quick second, she smelled like citrus. Like if warm summery days were a scent.
Sasuke regained her ability to actually produce movement properly after a couple guided steps around the bar.
“I think I got it from here” she said, untangling their bodies from each other.
“Haha yeah” honey blonde said with a nervous chuckle, “i uh should still probably bring you to your table and stuff, dont wanna have you fall right!” now she was even blushing slightly
Sasuke nodded hesitantly, confused on why the girl was still interested with her, shouldn't she be on her way now? It wasn't that she hated the company or anything, hell the support was probably for the best. It was just odd to her how she had offered to continue her kind act of service, girlhood they say.
It was almost as if this mystery girl actually cared about her, sasuke internally scoffed at the thought. Caring? Already? They'd just met, and sympathy only went so far, so why was she still here?
The two of them walked past the couples making out and dancing, and apparently friendships being torn apart from the seams: sasuke looked to blondie by her side when the two strangers aggressively tonguing each other were brutally broken up by the angry girlfriend of the male, who was adorned with thousands of bright purple hickies.
Blondie's immediate reaction to this occurrence was to burst into a fit of laughter at the mere sight of the man's humiliation, Sasuke had to admit, it really was funny and her laughter was contagious.
Not even a couple seconds later, the man blindly suggested that the three of them go somewhere more private to talk, clearly implying he wanted the three of them to do some freak shit in a hotel room. Seeing through his hopeless facade, the other woman walked away with a flick of her hair and left the girlfriend to her own tactics: punching.
This put blondie into another fit of hysterical laughter and reduced sasuke to uncontrollable giggling. she really hadn't laughed like this in such a long time, the sound was so foreign coming out from her mouth. She felt so ridiculous yet free. (despite basically almost dying just a couple minutes ago)
But as things go, freedom doesn't last long.
Lights flash before her eyes and a bloodcurdling cough exits her system. It feels as though her vocal chords were all torn at once.
And like clockwork, blondie is at her side, within seconds, to be her prince in shining armor. She's all in sasuke's face trying to help her, it isn't working much but that's when she got a sight of her beautiful blue eyes.
They were a bright blue and very pretty, almost enchanting,like they could even put a blind man in a trance.
“I told you to be careful!” Did she? “Lets go sit down-” this girl kept talking and talking and talking, so noisy! As she led Sasuke further away from the crowds and closer to the corresponding tables where her friends previously resided.
Out of the corner of her eye Sasuke caught a glimpse of something red, almost like red hair.
Karin!
Taking a closer look, Karin's figure was wrapped around someone's chest, intimately. And who would've guessed that someone was no other than their great friend Sugetsu. What happened to that "absolutely breathtaking!” man from the city side??
Sasuke almost felt bad, (but then was reminded that she honestly couldn't care less. For all she knew that man could be a cheater himself too.)
What a slut! The second the thought formalized properly in her head she regretted it. She would've felt very very guilty but the weakness in her bones was weighing her mind down.
Sasuke knew she shouldn't have thought such a foul and degrading insult about her friend, seeing as how she had confided her feelings to her.
To put it simply, karin was hypersexual. She couldn't contain her sexual desires about people and sometimes the urges she felt. She exhibited the basic “out of control” behaviors of someone with the condition. It affected her daily life and caused significant distress so blaming her wasn't a very nice thing to do.
But then again, Sasuke wasn't exactly known for being a good person.
Before she could even process what was going on, the girl by her side squealed and ran full force towards Karin. To her surprise, the redhead whipped her head and tore away from suigetsu,- practically lunging towards blondie!
What the hell was going on?