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Mekh stares into the fridge. He looks around for traces of bacon, or ham, or maybe some steaks.
What? You cannot blame an Elder for getting his daily protein.
Except there’s no protein to be found.
Mekh collapses to the floor in defeat after spraining his neck with the sheer amount of times he had turned his head to look around the inside of the fridge.
Just when he’s considering grabbing a handful of raw rice from the pantry and eating that, Sah pokes his head through the kitchen doorframe.
“What are you doing, you BUM?” Sah hollers at the crumpled heap on the floor.
“There’s… no meat left…”
Sah walks to the fridge and pulls it open. His head flicks back and forth.
“Hey, don’t do that or you’ll-”
Crack.
Sah clutches his neck as his knees buckle, forming a second defeated lump next to Mekh.
“Twin, what do we do now?”
“We could go out to eat! I know a good steakhouse nearby, they have great mashed potatoes…”
The skies were dark as large flurries of snow thundered down. The Valley of Triumph is buried in a thick layer of snow, with only little lights in the distance indicating the presence of its residents.
“...forget it.”
Sah suddenly stood up, looking like a lightbulb had been lit over his head.
“Oh! We could split that stick of butter over there! It’s delicious and nutritious, I promise! Sometimes I sneak a bite as a post-competition snack-”
Mekh’s eyes (eye?) narrowed. “You what?”
“...nothing”
Mekh tapped his finger on his chin intelligently. “I suppose we could bake.” (how did he even come to that conclusion?)
The twins rummaged through the fridge, finding a box of ripe blueberries. They decided they were going to make a blueberry pie.
They loved blueberry pie! It tasted wonderful, fresh from the bakery when they buy it on cheat days, where it is made by a trained professional but surely that CANNOT be important.
-
“Wait, twin! We don’t have a recipe!” Sah cried, almost crushing the box of blueberries in his hand.
“Well I suppose we could text Lamed to get one from the archives… but then we’d never hear the end of it.”
Mekh shuddered. Lamed LOVED catching the Elders at their lowest moments in 4k.
She still refused to delete the recording of them as babies… or Sah getting wasted and singing at a party… or Mekh trying to eat whipped cream and missing his mouth (does he even have one?), spraying it into his hair instead.
But that is a story for another day.
“Let’s just rawdog it.” “Yeah.”
-
So! Blueberry pie! It CANNOT possibly be that hard!
Firstly, they needed to make a crust. A crust is made of dough. Dough is made of flour. The twins pulled out a bowl and put some flour and water into it. They mixed it up. Perfect!
“I remember the pie we had… was sweet,” Mekh mused. “We must add some sugar”
Sah scooped a teaspoon of sugar and threw it into the mixing bowl. “In moderation, y’know. We gotta be healthy when we can.”
Mekh nodded in agreement. His lil bro is maturing so fast!
They then discovered they, in fact, did not own a pie dish. Mekh smiled intelligently and took the glass fruit bowl off the counter.
After they wiped it down (In the name of Megabird, they weren’t barbarians) Sah helped spread the dough inside the bowl.
Now for the fun part, the filling!
The twins got a plastic bag and put the blueberries and another teaspoon of sugar into it. Then they took turns punching the bag.
After pouring the blueberry slop into the dough spread inside the bowl, Sah decided it needed texture. He went and got a handful of the alphabet breakfast cereal he likes to eat and laid it on the top.
Mekh smiled smugly. “We are so good at this.”
Sah was silent. He was trying to spell with his cereal.
-
Firing up the oven, the twins placed the blueberry pie in the center rack. They set a 15 minute timer.
When they opened the oven to check after 15 minutes, the pie was still raw, except for some reason a thin layer of clear water had covered it.
“We have to evaporate the water.” Sah declared. “Two more hours.”
With instant hot cocoa in hand, they retreated to the living room fireplace to do a bit of toasting in the meantime.
“Oh my god, this is the epitome of coziness.” Mekh sighed, snuggled under a blanket. Sah was also under the blanket, furiously adding marshmallows to his drink. “Mmm.” Sah said.
It was in fact so cozy that the twins soon fell asleep after finishing their cocoa, bathed in the warm flicker of the fireplace with soft smiles on their faces.
-
Mekh was having a particularly wonderful dream of pulling up to a skiing competition with a Dark Dragon as a snowboard when a burnt smell invaded his nostrils.
“Mmmghfh- what-” He murmured, rubbing his eye sleepily. Then he leapt up with horror. “OH MEGABIRD! SAH! SAH! SAH!!”
The fireplace was out and the living room ceiling was covered in a black cloud, the burnt smell filling the space. An ominous rattling sound was also coming from the direction of the kitchen.
Sah turned around and smacked his lips. “Five more minutes.”
Mekh picked him up and shook him. “FIVE MORE MINUTE MY ASS! THE HOUSE IS BURNING! SAH!!!!”
Sah opened his eyes, took in his surroundings, and started wailing. “HOLY SHIT!!!!!”
The alarm they set rang just then, a background music that added to the nightmarish environment.
Charging into the kitchen, Mekh put on his oven mitts as Sah ripped the oven door open. The pie, having been jumping around the inside of the oven and producing a rattling noise, flew out, spilling boiling blueberry slop everywhere.
Mekh caught the pie before it could hit the floor and examined it. It resembled a small volcano, with a completely pitch black outer crust and some craters in the center bubbling hot blueberry juice.
Cracks spidered across the glass fruit bowl it was in as it shook and rattled with renewed intensity.
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!” Mekh sprinted down the hallway to the front door and tore it open with all his athletic might. A cold draft of wind and sleet poured in, but he was crashing out too hard to care.
WHAM! The pie was hurled outside of the door and landed on the snowy hillside. Mekh slammed the door shut and watched apprehensively from the window.
“WATCH OUT!!!” Sah howled, pulling Mekh from the window and tackling him to the ground.
A vein popped on Mekh’s neck. “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING- AUGHHH!!!!”
A loud CRACK resounded down the house as a section of the glass bowl, still covered in charred blueberry slop, hit the window Mekh was looking out of.
After a period of prolonged silence, Sah and Mekh went and peered out the other window.
The pie had exploded with the force of a small grenade, with doughy bits, broken glass and black and purple juices splattered across the hillside snow.
Sah collapsed to the floor and Mekh covered his face and sobbed.
-
They did eventually get up to wipe the residue off the kitchen floor, clean the oven and air out the house.
Exhausted, the twins sat down on the kitchen floor once more. Mekh watched as Sah pulled something out of the fridge and took a big bite out of it.
“Want some butter?”
“Yes.”
They had some butter.