Chapter Text
There had been a lot of times where Joey woke up, or at least came back to awareness, with no memory of how he’d ended up in the situation he was in. It used to happen all the time in his gang days. Between the alcohol, the drugs, and the countless fights that probably left him with concussions, it had been normal for Joey to blink and suddenly find himself in a back alley covered in blood and surrounded by guys in the same state. Or in a bar on the other side of the city. Or on Tristan’s couch. He never remembered what led up to him ending up in those places in the state he did, and he was glad for the lack of memories. The less he knew about the trouble he got in, the better.
He had thought those days were behind him, and yet here he was, standing at a pier he didn’t recognize while the sun started setting in the horizon. Last he remembered it was mid-morning. Barely late enough to even think about what he might want to eat for lunch. And he hadn’t been anywhere near an ocean…maybe.
He remembered an ocean though, and monsters hiding in the waves. And a fight. There had definitely been a fight. But a nice one? He’d definitely had fun, and neither he nor his opponent had gotten hurt, even if he had made the other guy cry.
Why had he been fighting in the ocean? And why was he fighting in the ocean again? Looking across from him he saw that his opponent was crying again too. Now he was just confused. He thought he remembered the ocean fight ending, but was it still happening? Maybe they’d just gone to another ocean to finish things off. How many oceans were around?
“Joey!”
Joey
“Joey! Yugi!”
…Yugi?
Joey blinked and tried to focus. There were so many voices screaming at him. In his head. In his ears. The only person he wanted to listen to was standing on the other side of the pier. Yugi was there, and he didn’t look well at all. His mouth was moving, and Joey knew what he was saying had to be important, because everything Yugi said was important, but he couldn’t hear him.
Joey needed to get closer. He needed to find out why Yugi was so upset and fix it for him. It was the least he could do after…whatever he’d done to upset his friend. It killed him to know he’d made Yugi cry.
Joey, this isn’t your fault.
Huh. That voice in his head was a lot nicer than the other voice in his head. It sounded familiar though. Like a voice that wasn’t supposed to be in his head at all.
Yugi was still talking, though now it looked like he was yelling. Not out of anger, but still with a lot of passion. All of the other voices, both in his head and out of his head, started shouting even louder. His name. Yugi’s name. It was a lot. Joey’s ears rang and his head felt like it was going to explode. Worse than that though was the empty pit in his stomach that made him feel like he was drowning in a sea of darkness. He felt so empty. How could he be both empty and overwhelmed at the same time?
Yugi said…something. Something that made his own trap card turn and redirect an attack that had been aimed at him in the first place aim it at him anyway. What…what was happening? Why was Yugi smiling, but he still looked so sad? Why was all the shouting getting even ouder?
Why was there a meteor hitting Yugi, knocking him out cold?
Joey’s heart squeezed in his chest. He didn’t know what was going on, but that didn’t really matter. Yugi was hurt. He needed him. That was all Joey needed to know. He stepped forward, meaning to get to Yugi, only for his foot to knock against something. Joey looked down. A box? Who just leaves boxes lying around right next to the ocean? He frowned slightly as the box flipped open, revealing the small key inside.
…What was this? Some kinda reverse treasure chest?
Joey bent down and picked up the key, looking it over. What was this thing for? He just stared at the key for several long moments, and with every second that passed the shouting around him got louder and louder, and he tried to block it out. People shouting his name wasn’t ever really a good thing. His dad. Hirutani. They loved yelling at him, and if he wanted to keep his sanity intact he needed to block out everything else he heard.
But he couldn’t block out the voice speaking directly into his head.
Joey! The voice in his head roared, and Joey froze, feeling fear seep into his very soul. Use the key!
He couldn’t breathe. He’d been given a command. Joey was a free spirit. He instinctively fought against authority. But ever since he was a kid people had been trying to turn him into a follower. A lackey who shut up, obeyed, and never bothered thinking for himself because that was something that he just wasn’t good at. Some people did their very best to beat him into submission. If he didn’t do what he was told, he was punished for it. Easy as that. And yet still something he regularly messed up.
His dad didn’t like it when he hung around the apartment, and he kicked Joey out onto the street if he was too loud or ate too much food. But if Joey stayed out late he would be greeted with flying beer bottles and snarled insults. There was no winning with him.
Hirutani had been different. He made his expectations for Joey very clear. If he didn’t do as he was told, he was punished. If he obeyed like a good little dog then he’d be given a new, harder order. Hirutani would make a game out of pushing Joey to his limits, and kicking him while he was down when he failed.
The voice in his head…it just took over. Joey wasn’t even given the chance to fail. It just took over, metaphorically tying him up so he couldn’t move, putting a blindfold over his eyes so he couldn’t see what his body was being made to do, and abandoning him to the darkest, coldest corners of his mind. And if Joey somehow fought back then the voice in his head made it hurt. It made Joey feel like his soul was being torn apart. That his mind was being shattered in a way that could never be fixed. And even when the pain ended the empty feeling of loss remained, and he wasn’t sure if it would ever go away.
Joey was pretty sure this was a different voice in his head. Something in him told him that he could trust this voice. That it wouldn’t hurt him. But it was still a voice in his head. It was still making demands. And looking at the key in his hand, Joey realized it was a demand he couldn’t meet. How was he supposed to use the key if he didn’t know what it went to? He was going to fail to obey, and this new voice in his head would be so mad. Joey didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to be punished. He could be good! He just…he just didn’t know how.
Joey whimpered and drew his hands to his head. He clutched at his hair, flinching when he heard the clattering of the key as it slipped from his fingers and fell to the ground. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and shook his head desperately as he started to beg for mercy.
“No, no, no, no, no.” Joey muttered as he rocked slightly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I-I’ll do better. I’m sorry.”
…Joey. The voice was far more gentle now than it had been when it had given the command. I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this. If I had just…The voice sounded so hurt. Joey’s stomach twisted in a painful way. This was his fault. He’d made Yugi cry. He’d upset the voice in his head because he didn’t know how to obey.
…I’m sorry. The voice said as Joey felt something tugging on his consciousness. He knew this feeling. The voice was trying to control his body. He knew he should fight it, just like he’d been doing all day, even though he couldn’t remember the specifics about what he’d been resisting. But…but resisting hurt, and he was so tired of hurting. And Joey had hurt this new voice somehow, and he felt like he needed to make it up to him. So Joey let go and just let himself slip back into the darkness again.
At least, he tried to.
He felt a foreign spark of fear that he really didn’t think belonged to him. The voice in his head grabbed onto his awareness and kept him from slipping too far. He wasn’t in control of his own body, but he hadn’t been thrown in the trunk of his mind. He was riding shotgun. He wasn’t driving, but he was still in the front.
It was a weird experience, watching as his body moved with a fluid swiftness that didn’t belong to him. His body bent forward, picked up the key, and immediately put it into the lock of the cuff around his ankle.
Huh?
Within a few seconds the cuff came off, and not a moment too soon. There was an explosion above them. Joey looked up just in time to see a giant anchor fall into the ocean, dragging two chains behind it. In the blink of an eye the cuff, which was attached to one of the chains, fell into the ocean. Joey stared at the water in horror and awe. That cuff had been around his ankle. It would have dragged him into the water. Of all the moments where he woke up and didn’t know where he was or how he got there, this one was the scariest. If he was in control of his body he thought that he might throw up. What was even going on?!
“Yugi!” He heard several different voices screaming. He’d forgotten there were people outside of his head here. He looked up to see a number of his friends run to the edge of the pier, leaning over the water with panic in their eyes. They were calling for Yugi, but looking in the water. That was weird. Yugi wasn’t in the ocean, he was just over…over…
Where’d he go?
Yuug? Joey stared at the spot where his best friend had been just seconds ago. Yugi was supposed to be laying there, still recovering from that attack. His duel disk was still there, and so was his jacket. But Yugi was just…gone. He was gone.
Where…where’d he go? Joey asked. He looked around, as though his friend would jump out with a goofy smile on his face and apologize for disappearing on him.
He felt a sharp, unbearable feeling of grief was over him as he felt the new voice in his head pull back. Joey was yanked back in control so fast that he felt dizzy and somehow even more disconnected than before. His body felt like it would give out from under him, but he tried to push past it. He needed to find Yugi. He needed to make sure his friend was okay. He still had to say sorry for making him cry.
Joey forced himself to his feet. Everything hurt. His head. His mind. Every one of his muscles. He’d been resisting that first voice in his head all day, and now it was biting him in the ass. But he pushed past the pain and took a few shaky steps forward to try to get to where Yugi had been. He was about to take another step forward when somebody shouted and tackled him from the side, knocking him into the wood so harshly that he felt splinters dig into his skin.
Joey froze as he heard someone yelling in his ear. He didn’t know who they were. He didn’t know what they were saying. But they were mad, and that was enough for him. He must have messed up again. He didn’t know how, but that was nothing new. He regularly didn’t know what he’d done wrong, but his obliviousness didn’t fix his mistakes. It didn’t spare him from his punishment.
He bit his inner lip to keep himself from crying out or whimpering, because sounds of pain counted as defiance. Joey grew limp. Whatever was wanted of him, whoever wanted it, he’d let it happen. Fighting just hurt.
He heard a lot of yelling. A lot of crying. More yelling. Even more crying. The person who had tackled him had been doing a lot of both as he pinned Joey to the ground, but after a long time he pulled Joey up into a sitting position and just clung to him. He was…hugging him? A moment later somebody else joined in the hug. A girl, smaller than Joey was. She tucked herself against him and just sobbed into his chest. Joey instinctively wrapped his arm around her. He stared out at the other side of the pier. He still didn’t see Yugi. Where could he have gone? There weren’t really places to hide here, unless Yugi was hiding under the water.
Maybe that was why Joey saw some other people, friends whose names were escaping him at the moment, diving into the water. They must be looking for Yugi.
Joey wanted to help look for him, but he was still being restrained, even if it was done in a friendly way.
“W-what’s going on?” Joey asked. He was so confused. He couldn’t fix things if he didn’t know what needed to be fixed.
The guy who had knocked him over, yelled at him, and then hugged him, pulled back a little and stared at him in a furious shock that Joey recognized. Tristan. This was Tristan. Of course it was. Who else would it be? He was the only person in Joey’s life still who knocked him around when he was an idiot, but was still his friend.
“What’s going on?” Tristan repeated his question. “Are you seriously…?” His anger started to fade to concern. “Do you know what was happening?”
“...No?” Joey grimaced. There had been that voice in his head, forcing him to do things he didn’t want to do. But he didn’t really know what those things were. “What are we doing here? W-where’d Yugi go?”
Tristan paled so quickly that he looked like he was about to faint. He took in a shaky breath and just went back to hugging Joey, whose stomach sank. Tears came to his eyes and he felt a deep emotional pain that was so raw that it felt like it was killing him. But he still didn’t really know what was going on.
He felt a tugging on his consciousness again, and he was more than happy to follow it. This time Joey fell deep into the depths of his mind, but it wasn’t as dark as it had been before. And he wasn’t alone.
“Joey.” The new voice in his head said, but the voice felt more real now. More solid.
“Huh?” Joey turned to see…definitely not Yugi. He looked like Yugi, but he didn’t feel like him. But he didn’t feel dangerous either. Joey felt like he should know exactly who he was looking at, because something about a ‘not-Yugi’ made sense, but all he knew right now was that this was a friend.
“I know you.” Joey said. His friend looked both relieved and horrified, but both emotions quickly slipped behind a stoic mask.
“I should hope so,” His friend said. “Though I don’t think I’ve properly introduced myself. I haven’t minded borrowing Yugi’s name, but…” He trailed off, looking incredibly upset and lost. Joey felt bad for his friend. He approached him and pulled his friend into a hug. Now, Joey was a physical guy, but he didn’t really give many embraces. He did one-sided hugs to show affection and support. He did it with Tristan. With Yugi. But not-Yugi looked like he needed more than that.
Besides, Joey himself felt like he needed a hug.
His friend didn’t return the hug, but he didn’t pull away either. The two of them just stayed there for a long time before Joey finally let go.
“Lately people have been calling me Yami.” His friend said. Joey grinned, grateful to have a name for the new voice in his head. He was pretty sure the other voice had a name too, but it slipped from Joey’s mind.
“So, uh, Yami?” Joey looked around. He knew he was in his own head, but it had been a bit since he had heard the other voice. The cruel one. “Where’d the other guy go? The…the…” He made gestures that he didn’t even understand as he tried to pantomime his meaning. “The magic jerk who got in my head.”
Yami’s gaze darkened. “Marik is no longer in your mind. Your will was stronger. You overcame his influence, and he’s never going to have that power over you again. Not if there’s anything I can do about it.”
“Oh. Cool.” Joey still found himself looking around. There really wasn’t anything to look at, but he couldn’t help but move his gaze around like he was a tourist in a new city. “But why are you in my head? Not like I’m not happy to see you, but what’s the deal?”
Yami looked pointedly at Joey’s chest. He followed the gaze and blinked as he saw the Millennium Puzzle around his neck. What was he doing with this thing? It didn’t belong to him, and Joey hadn’t stolen anything of significance since he was in middle school. And he definitely never stole from friends.
“Why do I have Yugi’s puzzle?” Joey frowned. Was this the reason why Yugi had disappeared? Was he mad at Joey for taking his puzzle? That had to be it.
“Yugi gave it to you.” Yami said quietly. “He said it was to pull you out of Marik’s control. But I-I think he trusted you would take care of the puzzle in his absence.”
“Absence.” Joey frowned. “Where’d he go?” Yami didn’t answer. “Come on, man, how am I supposed to go after him if nobody tells me where he went?”
“...He’s gone somewhere you can’t follow.” Yami said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” Joey looked down. “Well, when’s he coming back?”
“He’s not coming back.” Yami said. His tone was a little stiffer now. A little more commanding. Joey shifted a little.
“He’s gotta come back.” Joey insisted. “He wouldn’t just leave for no reason.” That was more Joey’s style. “How’m I supposed to help him save the world if he leaves without me?”
“Joey,” Yami’s tone was dark now. Warning. He didn’t often use this tone for Joey, but other people had directed it at him multiple times. Sometimes it was enough to get Joey to shut his trap and play it safe. But not always. And not today.
“I don’t know what game you guys are playing, but it’s not funny.” Joey scowled. “Where’s Yugi?”
“Yugi is gone!” Yami snapped. “This isn’t a game! He’s gone, and he’s not…” Yami choked on his words. “He’s not coming back.”
Joey’s shoulders rose as he drew in on himself. Yami was his friend, but Joey could feel the power coming from him. A dark power that felt very familiar to the first voice in his head. Marik, Yami had called him. He knew the dark power wasn’t inherently dangerous, but he also knew how much it could hurt when it was turned against you. He didn’t want to feel that pain again.
“Sorry.” Joey muttered. “‘M sorry.”
“You…” Yami sounded like he was going to be ill. “You don’t have anything you need to be sorry for.”
Joey frantically shook his head and stepped back. That wasn’t right. He knew it wasn’t right. He had a lot to be sorry for. If it weren’t for him Yugi would be…he wouldn’t have…
Joey whimpered and wrapped his arms around himself. No. No! Everything suddenly felt so much colder. Emptier. Yugi was one of the brightest lights in Joey’s life, and definitely the most consistent. With him gone, where did that leave him?
“Joey!” Yami put his hands on his shoulders. “You cannot allow the darkness to consume you. You must fight it!”
“I-I don’t know how.” Joey admitted. It was an odd feeling, to not know how to fight.
Yugi frowned and looked around the darkness that surrounded them. “Perhaps it would be a little easier to fight the dark when you’re not surrounded by the shadows of your mind.” His forehead began to glow, and so did the Millennium Puzzle. Yami took Joey’s hand and began to guide him through the darkness. Everything looked the same to Joey, but Yami seemed to know exactly where he was going.
They walked for what felt like an eternity, but could also have been just a few seconds, before they came to a door. Yami held out his hand and the door just vanished, as though it had never been there at all. Yami pulled him through into a large room that looked unfamiliar, but felt like home.
There were gaming cards, both for Duel Monsters and regular playing cards, all over the place. Joey saw a ripped up card on the ground. He went to pick up the pieces. The Jack of Clubs. That had always been his favorite card. Joey put the pieces together again, only for a chilling breeze to come by and scatter them again. Joey frowned. It didn’t make sense, but he felt like he should have been able to fix it.
Oh well.
Joey looked around the room. Well, he called it a room, but last time he checked rooms didn’t have massive oceans in them. It was the same ocean that he used to take serenity to when they were kids. It looked so much bigger now though. The sun had nearly set over the horizon, making the sky look like it was on fire while the ocean looked so dark that it was nearly black.
Red and black. Red eyes black dragon.
“Look out!” Yami grabbed Joey’s arm and harshly yanked him back just as a large set of chains fell to where he’d just been standing. Joey looked up. There were chains, beams, and hooks above them, making it look like they were in a gang’s warehouse hideout rather than out in the open air.
Joey had never liked looking at such chains. Even just seeing them made him feel trapped. He thought they were a cheap intimidation method. They were needlessly cruel and complicated to keep someone tied up when ropes often got the job done just as well. He didn’t like the way they sounded when they were hit against someone’s skin.
Hirutani had known this, and he’d always gone out of his way to use chains as much as he could when Joey was around.
He didn’t want to see the chains. Joey turned his gaze away and looked anywhere else. He saw a boxing ring. It looked so torn down that it was nearly unusable. It broke his heart. Joey walked to the boxing rink, stepping on scattered star chips and poker chips as he went. He put his hand on the frayed rope around the boxing ring, only for it to dissolve completely at his touch, slipping away to dust. Joey felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“What is this place?” Joey muttered. It felt like home, but it was incredibly worn down. Everything looked like it was seconds away from completely falling apart.
Maybe it felt like home because everything that Joey had ever considered to be home had always felt like it was right at the edge of falling apart.
“...This should be your soul room.” Yami said stiffly. He hadn’t moved from where he had pulled Joey away from being crushed by the chains. He was still staring at the chains, a haunted look in his eyes. “I don’t think soul rooms should be in this state.”
Joey’s stomach twisted with shame. “Is it that bad?” Sure, the chains were rusted and the rope was basically nonexistent. And there were cards and chips littered everywhere, and a lot of other trash that he didn’t really want to look at. But Joey had seen, and lived in, a lot worse.
“Your soul room nearly hurt you.” Yami growled. “That’s not supposed to happen!”
“I’m sorry!” Joey shouted. He couldn’t tell if he was defensive or desperate for forgiveness. He looked down at the ground, seeing a belt half buried in the sand. He bent down to pick it up. “I can clean things up.” If he could tidy up their apartment for social workers, he could clean his soul room, or whatever this was. He saw a picture frame that he hadn’t noticed before. He wondered what picture was in it. He went to pick it up, only to feel a sharp pain in his palm. Joey winced and drew his hand back. He wasn’t bleeding, but he saw red start to spread across the sand. A lot of red blood. He felt a little nauseous at the sight. W-was the picture frame bleeding? Had he broken it? He hadn’t meant to.
“Joey!” Yami stepped in, pushing him back slightly, completely blocking the view of the red spreading across the sand. “Perhaps…perhaps your soul room isn’t the best place to be right now.”
“I can fix it.” Joey said. He still didn’t feel like it was too bad, but if it was upsetting Yami then he needed to make it right
“You don’t need to worry about that now.” Yami said. He pulled Joey back to the door. Back to the darkness. “Maybe I can do something to fix the damage that Marik caused.” His grip on Joey’s hand tightened. “But not yet. There’s still so much I need to do.”
Joey frowned. “You need to stop Marik.” He didn’t really know what Marik’s plan was, or why Yugi and Yami needed to be the ones to stop him. But he knew it was important. Joey had promised that he would help Yugi. “What can I do to help?” He felt like this was something he shouldn’t have to ask about, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what to do, and he couldn’t just sit here and twiddle his thumbs. Not when he’d made a promise.
Yami gave him a small smile. “I can’t ask you to do more. I can’t put you in danger.”
Joey stiffened. “You’re not asking. I’m asking. Please. I-I need to help. I need to keep my promise. T-there’s gotta be something I can do.”
Yami looked like he was going to disagree again, but he stopped himself. He was considering it carefully. Joey held very still as he waited for the answer.
“...I’ve never dueled without Yugi.” Yami said. “Not that I can remember. I don’t want to endanger anybody else, but I can’t do this alone.” It looked like it was killing him to say this, and Joey felt bad that he was a bit hopeful. He saw where this was going.
“You need a host.” Joey said. Yami flinched and looked away. “I’m already in the finals. You can use me to stop Marik.”
“...I don’t want to use you.” Yami said, sounding more vulnerable than Joey thought he had heard from him. “You’re my friend. Not a tool.”
“Please, Yami.” Joey pleaded. He didn’t know what else he could say. All good arguments were leaving his mind. “I-I promised.”
Yami took a deep breath. “I don’t like it. But I don’t know what else to do.” His eyes became stern with determination. “Together we will stop Marik.” His eyes softened. “And then we’ll find a way to help you.”
Joey blinked. “Me? I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are.” Yami said simply. He paused and turned his head. He looked like he was listening to something Joey couldn’t hear. “Our friends are worried about you. Do you know how to regain control of your body?”
Joey shuddered. It felt like an easy thing to do, and maybe he should do it, but stepping out of the safety of his mind felt like a lot. It was loud out there. And very confusing. He barely knew what to do with Yami’s grief about whatever had happened. How was he supposed to deal with everybody else's?
Joey didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Yami looked pained. “I can take control for now, until you’re ready to face the world.”
Joey breathed a sigh of relief. “Really?”
“Really.” Yami said. “But the moment you want control back, let me know. I don’t want to take your autonomy from you.” His gaze darkened. “I don’t want to be like Marik.”
“You’re nothing like him.” Joey said. “I’ll tell you. I promise.” Yami nodded his appreciation before he vanished, his soul focusing on controlling Joey’s body for him. Meanwhile, Joey’s consciousness was left alone in the shadows.
This was what he had wanted, but that fact did nothing to stop the feelings of dread and loneliness that surrounded him. And without a friend there to distract him from these feelings, Joey was left to drown in his own emotions. He wrapped his arms around the Millennium Puzzle. He needed to remind himself that he wasn’t alone. He had Yami, even if he felt alone.
“You’re still here.” Joey muttered to the puzzle.
I’m still here. He got a response back. You’re not alone. And that was all Joey needed to know.