Chapter Text
July of 2000
On his 25th birthday, Kishibe Rohan had come to the conclusion that he was not capable of feeling anything profoundly romantic nor did his craft allow him the time. At least that’s what he told himself as his eyes fixed on the hands of the clock; it was 12:00 AM and he was another year older. There was nothing he could change about it, the time had already been spent on drawing, writing, and living in his art.
Nor did he regret the time he gave to his craft, rather he could not shake the feeling that he missed something along the way. He had the house and career he wanted, but it felt wrong like the success of Pink Dart Boy was not enough to keep him progressing. He did not like to over complicate his emotions so disconnect, loneliness, and longing were taken off the list of possibilities. There was no way that he, Rohan Kishibe, could be lonely (he was just an introverted shut in) nor longing for something outside of his art (his manga was his life line). So nothing bad could fester, it was just his temperament and passion that lead to less connection. He accepted that his life needed to be this way to continue his success, thus the problem must be simple.
It must be around his creation and growth. God, he needed to be greater. Hmmm maybe he needed a new manga series, something that would be a new challenge for him. Maybe even something that would amaze the fans (and critics) with how versatile of a talent he is.
September of 2000
Since his birthday, Rohan had begun working on his next manga project. This included making some concept art and drafting plot structures to anchor his ideas. His sketchpad was open on his desk and collecting fresh ink. The strokes made out a broader man, who would be his leading male character, that was handsome in an intimidating and ethereal way. Rohan did not know what got into him, but despite his detached personal life and non-existent love life he wanted this character to slot into a romance. Something that would pull on heartstrings, endear his audience, and shock with the unexpected subject matter.
Kishibe Rohan the great horror manga artist, with his lack of experience in the world of love, has expanded his mastery. If he pulled it off and wrote a heart wrenching romance it would show the world his versatility and ability to craft beyond his own limits. The idea was just in its infancy so he was trying to not let his ego skyrocket with images of other manga artists bowing in front of him and rambling of his legacy of work. Stop Rohan, great craftsman like yourself don’t plunder greatness on unwritten work.
October of 2000
Besides his great talent the character conceptualizations were not coming as easy as he would like. It started off well with the male lead, he was deadly handsome, stand offish, and abrasive in the hot type of way. Yes, Rohan could picture the man being someone that would slowly show his cards and melt down into the relationship once his walls started to crumble. His audience would love him without a doubt and be captivated with his mysterious presence.
But then he got to the female lead and he just could not conceptualize something that would harmonize. He had drafted 20 different versions for the female lead and none of them fit his vision, any ordinary manga artist would have picked #3 the sweet bubbly blonde to balance out the man’s brash attitude but it did not click for him. He could not see them lasting or her understanding the pain shrouding his past. All he could see her doing was smiling at him sweetly and patting his back in comfort when he’s acting distant. She would not approach him about his hurt heart and understand the isolation he perpetually lives in.
In fact she had never carried that level of emotional exhaustion in her past and could only be a short term distraction with her girlish laugh and warm eyes. Not to mention the way he would destroy her carefree soul with all his walls and silence. It was a recipe for disaster, despite its popularity with general audiences and Rohan knew this from all the research he’d done on popular relationships dynamics in the genre. The general public had terrible taste, their standards had been lowered by romance slop.
He needed something different and exciting to make this romance memorable…or he could be a cheat and write a harem or reverse harem. Those seemed to do well with a certain demographic of readers, but harems were a cheat for drama and unexpected situations. Stop Rohan, you cannot make a harem manga. You don’t have the catalog to branch out in an area like that. Maybe when you’re 50 years old and you’ve made 5 critically acclaimed series, you can surprise everyone with a light hearted and fun harem manga.
Gosh this was making his thoughts spiral. This dumb romance was suppose to be a boost for his portfolio not his mental insanity. Yet he was too proud to let the project go and would find a way to complete it. Maybe Rohan needed to do more research? He could try to read some couples or ask Koichi about his relationship to get inspiration?
December of 2000
“Please Koichi,” Rohan said groveling at the younger man’s feet. His palms were pressed together in prayer to really sell the act on him.
“No,” Koichi said. His eyes settled into a firm glare at the older.
From the outside Koichi was sure he looked like the cruel one, saying no to such a humble display of a man. But a bystander would not know how dangerous Kishibe Rohan was when he is desperate. Koichi knew that groveling from such a proud man only signaled deep psychological desperation. The type that he ‘could only resolve’ by crossing any and all boundaries needed to maintain one’s own sanity.
“I really need the inspiration,” Rohan practically begged. His hands reached forward to grip Koichi’s, practically crushing his palm as he put on his best kicked puppy face.
“Can’t you just go invade someone else’s mind,” Koichi said. He pulled his palms back from the older and looked to his left, attempting to hold his own against the mildly psychotic man.
“Koichi, you must be spending too much time with Josuke and Okuyasu. Why else would I ask you? I have read most couples in this town.”
“Rohan that is really disturbing,” Koichi said. He could not help how his face dropped. Of course he knew Rohan was obsessive, but the trait always seemed to hit new lows.
“I know! I couldn’t find one good thing to help with my story.”
“That’s not my point.”
“I need your help Koichi, this romance is driving me crazy.”
“I don’t really want to talk with you about Yukako and I.”
“So I should read you?”
“No! That’s just personal information. Plus, Yukako and I had a very embarrassing and unromantic start,” Koichi said waving his hands in attempt to warn the man to back off on his personal life…especially if invading it would involve his stand.
“Fine,” Rohan said, moping that despite his best attempts Koichi said no. Not to mention how he wrinkled and stained his white designer slacks for nothing. Koichi really didn’t understand his sacrifice.
“I could help you in any other way, like looking things over?”
“I don’t typically let people look over my work, but I trust you. Well enough to help me think of ways to make this couple work. After I have the couple, everything else will fall into place.”
“Let me see what you have then.” Rohan finally relinquished his graveling pose to retrieve some of his draft materials, including a sketch of the male lead, twenty-five possible female leads, ten side characters he hammered out in the last month, and a rough outline of the plot.
“Be careful, this is my life blood.”
While Koichi found the statement to be dramatic, he nodded his head to agree to the terms and conditions of viewing Rohan’s work. He settled himself into the burnt red couch and began to flip through the pages.
“Okay this is interesting,” Koichi said.
“What girl would you pick for him?” Rohan gazed over curiously.
“Umm, well Rohan. I just have one little question…”
“Yes?”
“Does the male lead seem familiar?”
“No, he’s loosely based on a lot of references but no one in particular.”
“Okay, well do you want him to be with a girl?”
“Of course, it’s a romance Koichi.”
“What about #5 then?”
“That’s terrible! #5 the slightly crazy and controlling one with a sweet side. You just like her cause she is like Yukako.” Rohan could not hide the disbelief in his voice. He trusted his friend to help him out and instead he gets subpar feedback.
“Ow okay, I’ll just ignore what you said about my girlfriend. What about #3?”
“That’s even worse! They would never last long term.” Rohan had escalated from disappointment to frantically frustrated. Giving Koichi a glare that felt like fire, eating at his dry ends until he began to crack.
“What does that even mean?” Koichi stared at Rohan, unsure of how he could deal with the man.
“Divorce, just trust me a strain in the relationship would lead to contempt and divorce.”
“Then what are your top picks?”
“I don’t see any of them with him,” Rohan said. The previous fire in his eyes dulled to embers, while his face fell into something less animated.
“Okay that is concerning. Maybe we should broaden things and look more at the other relationships you built out? It could help open up possibilities.”
“I don’t see your point, the side characters aren’t quite leading lady material.”
“I find this relationship interesting.” Koichi flipped over a sketch of an averagely built man with a knack for design.
“That’s his work partner, which they start off as enemies and turn into best friends that solve crimes together.”
“So these two men are just detective work friends with opposing temperaments?”
“Yes, I think male friendship is really important to include.”
“So hear me out for a second.”
“I’m listening and growing bored.”
“So his enemy to friend helps him solve a career altering cold case, in the process of that they grow closer, spend an excessive amount of time together, have cheeky banter, and risk their lives for each other?”
“Yes, like I said male friendship.”
“Are you sure they aren’t a couple?”
“You’re not kidding?” Rohan said, staring at Koichi like he had suggested killing off all his characters halfway through the series.
“No.”
“Koichi, I am trying to craft beyond my limits and publish in an area for the general public.”
“I was just suggesting it, since you have some undertones there.”
“Just because I am gay, doesn’t mean I write platonic friendships and make them secretly gay. What kind of manga artist do you take me for?”
“Forget it, sorry they are just platonic work partners,” Koichi said, rubbing the back of his neck in a show of honest confusion. The route of playful ignorance was better than the alternative, his older friend was too emotionally constrained to see the fine line of fact and fiction.
—
January of 2001
Seven months after his birthday, Rohan was gifted a late present, the bleakest point of his life. He woke up that morning and could not draw. It was so strange to sit at his desk, take a sip of fresh brewed tea then look at a blank page and see nothing. No bones he could work with or projections of scenes.
Usually drawing was so natural for him, that scenes were created in a panicked frenzy to ink it to memory. Now he could only see the dread of white sheets. During a low point like this Rohan could not help picking up his landline to dial his only foreseeable friend.
“I’m broken,” Rohan huffed through the receiver, fingers twirling at attached cable.
“You’re only 25, don’t be so negative about aging.” Koichi’s voice came through chipper and bright as usual. It would have normally put Rohan at ease, but he was too preoccupied to find hold in it.
“No Koichi, I’m still very much hot. I just can’t draw.”
“Is this about the romance manga?”
“Yes, that stupid manga ruined my creative output.”
“Maybe it’s just the stress?”
“I don’t get stressed. I Rohan Kishbe have a process that includes no stress just obsession until the idea is executed.”
“I’m not sure that is healthy either, maybe you should take time off to relax?”
Failure finally flattened his skills into obscurity. I’m a talentless loser.
February of 2001
It was okay at first, he used some of his downtime to deep clean his home and take more motorcycle rides to the beach. However the ‘time off’ quickly steered into having time to think about things he never wanted to. Gosh why draw and write at this point, when he could think about how pathetic his life was. Not only was he stripped of creative passion, but his house felt too big and silent without pen etching paper. Have I always been this isolated? Or has my sanity been corrupted by this too?
Maybe it was all the time he had to ponder his thoughts, but he felt like a ghost lived there. When he aimlessly wondered his home it felt like something was lurking over him, whispering into his ear that something was missing. I’m going mad.
Instead of sitting down with himself and analyzing his new found emotions, a task he left exclusively for his manga characters, he decided a new activity was needed.