Work Text:
everyone always talks about how surviving the same household leaves an unspoken connection with your siblings;
a silent 'i get you' slipping from the corner of your eye at the dinner table;
what they don't mention are the joys of being the eldest;
protector, standing tall, hands loaded with baggage you don't know how to keep, the rage bubbling up your chest;
they act like it never happened, they seem to forget;
how unfair it is that they were innocent enough to sleep it off, to shelve it between every other nightmare.
how unfair it is that you get to be the winner, crowned with broken glass, the memories your prize, forced between your ribs;
and you ache, and you yearn, and you curse this distance growing up has put between you;
"why are you so far away? wait, don't go, don't leave us behind, don't push me away-"
and here you are, still a shield, yet made into a dagger, aimed at them?
or yourself?
The silence holds no answer for you, with your bitter tears and 'please remember with me' stuck behind your teeth.